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Should I get married before my older sister?

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1733 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 17, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Natasha Question by Natasha on Mar 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

My age is 25 years and my boyfriend age is 29 years. I have boyfriend and we are dating for around 2 years, we are thinking about marriage. My family members love him and his family members love me. But the situation is like this that, my elder sister is getting divorce so it will take time atleast 4 years. But we can't wait for 4 years because my boyfriend is from gujarat. So in Gujarat, families dont wait for long but in my case my boyfriend and his family members waited for 2 years. Because my family members are saying when my elder sister will get married then after my marriage will come. and my family members are brain washing me and my boyfriend saying that first elder sister should get married if it takes times 6 years still u have to wait. My family members are pressurizing me alot. Infact I discuss and my boyfriend discuss with my family members about the situation but my family is not understanding and they are just pressurizing me alot and making my life hell. Even my elder sister is saying to me that my colleagues are not getting married why u have to get married soon. But my point is that I m not kid I m 25 years old and because of her I m suffering alot because if she cant get married I cant get married this wrong. And because of taht me and boyfriend are arguing alot in this. Like If i waited for my elder sister divorce plus her marriage it will take around 4 years. But I dont think so this is right because of my elder sister I m facing issues and thats wrong. Because i dont know whether after divorce she will get married or not. So because of her I m suffering alot. And the divorce procedure will take 4 - 6 years. Because we dont know that how much time will it take for my elder sisters divorce because she is not doing normal one she has cased a file against jiju so thats why it huge procedure. So that's why we think that we will do court marriage in next month. We both have a support from his family members. His family members are saying that do court marriage without knowing any ones relatives and once your family agrees within this year then its fine but if not then you come here next year and we will do marriage for both of you. So this is right?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You need to make a decision for yourself after looking at all the pros and cons. How are you going to be able to handle your parents once you make the decision to go ahead with the marriage?
Also, on your part, you are right in asking, how long do you need to wait?
Before making a decision, always think far ahead as to how your environment will react and how you are going to handle all of it.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |674 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 11, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 24 years old and i have a sister who is 23 years old. I am dating a boy for 4 years and he is of same age. My bf has some finincial crunches and he is willing to marry at the age of 28. My parents are constantly pressurizing me to marry at the age of 25 which is next year. I don't know what to do at this time. I am working in IT sector and earning 4lpa and my bf is earning 7lpa. I am telling my bf to marry me next year but he is not ready as he also has a sister 1 year younger to him. What should i do in this situation? My sister has some issue with eye so definitely we will not get boy easily for her and my dad wants me to marry early so that he can focus on her marriage too. What should i do in this situation as i don't want to upset my family and i don't want to marry someone else too.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are facing such an issue. It isn't fair to put so much weight on your shoulders, especially at such a young age. But simultaneously I understand where your parents' concerns stem from; it is indeed a tough situation. Managing conflicting desires, especially with parents, is difficult.

Here is my two cents-
Talk to your boyfriend. While he is not being unreasonable in wanting to marry at 28, which seems like a fairly mature decision, you can try to make him understand the pressure you are under, and if possible, marry sooner rather than later. It does not mean you should get married next year. Things like marriage should never be rushed into. Find a middle ground that can work for both of you.

While it's natural to want to fulfill your family's expectations, it's also essential to consider your own desires and aspirations. Take the time to understand what it is that you want. Are you ready to be married at the age of 25? Does it align with your personal goals? Marriage is not everything in life, just so you know.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |674 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Relationship
m in love with my boyfriend since 18 years. I waited till he gets his first job to tell my parents abut him. When the time came we both informed in our family that we want to get married. His father said yes initially and asked my family to meet at a common place. Later once I family agreed and came and called to inform his family, his mother denied saying his father is against this marriage. My parents called my boyfriend and asked whether he wants to marry me without his father approval and he said obviously!!! Why wouldn’t I? Then me and my boyfriend set a date and informed both our family that we are getting married on this date on july. My family has been always supportive and they support me here as well. But his family reacted differently saying we can’t allow you to marry on this date as this month is his birth month (some silly excuses) and they informed we can assure you we will get you married to your girlfriend in November or December. That time my boyfriend also agreed with his mother knowing that all wedding venues were booked and I have paid some kind of advance amount as well. And NOW!! My family went wild over him saying howcome he called of this marriage?? My boyfriend is asking me please give me a second chance that I will convince my parents to marry you in November or December. If they disagree i will move out and marry you only. How can I trust him this time? SHOULD I?
Ans: Dear Suwon,

I understand you are in a difficult situation and trusting someone once they have broken it is difficult. I also understand your parent's concern. I am sure you do too. Now, the real question is, do you want to give him another chance? I know he broke your trust by moving the dates suddenly, but maybe let's try to find out why he did it.

You have been with him for a long time. You should have some clue about the type of person he is; it is totally up to you to decide whether you want to give him another chance or move on with your life. Neither would be a wrong choice. But it should be your choice. Look at the pros and cons. All things he got right to date and the wrongs he did too. Weigh them against each other and by the end of it, you should have some clarity.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Aamish

Aamish Dhingra  | Answer  |Ask -

Life Coach - Answered on Mar 07, 2025

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Relationship
I have boyfriend we are thinking about marriage. My family members love him and his family members love me. But the situation is like this that, my elder sister is getting divorce so it will take time atleast 4 years. But we can't wait for 4 years because my boyfriend is from gujarat. So in Gujarat, families dont wait for long but in my case my boyfriend and his family members waited for 2 years. Because my family members are saying when my elder sister will get married then after my marriage will come. And the divorce procedure will take 4 years. Because we dont know that how much time will it take for my elder sisters divorce because she is not doing normal one she has cased a file against jiju so thats why it huge procedure. So that's why we think that we will do court marriage in next month. So I m thinking right?
Ans: It looks like you’re clear about your decision, but the challenge is aligning it with your family’s expectations. Given the uncertainty around your sister’s situation, waiting for four years isn’t practical for you and your partner. A court marriage seems like a solution, but how you communicate it will shape how your family reacts.
What’s the core reason behind their hesitation - tradition, societal norms, or concern for family dynamics? And how can you address it in a way that reassures them while staying true to your own timeline?

Wishing you success,
Aamish Dhingra
ICF-PCC Certified Life Coach
Co-Founder, Cocoweave Coaching International, Delhi

..Read more

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Purshotam

Purshotam Lal  |67 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 14, 2025

Money
Sir, I would take your advice on my future planning, planninby 55 years. Below details, need your help I am 50 years old, having wife with two kids, daughter 14 years (class 8) and son 8 years (class 3) standard. Saving and investment till date: PPF (own and son account) Rs. 18.40 lakh, Sukanya (in my daughter name) RS. 5 lakh, Axis ELSS, Mirae ELSS, Quant ELSS Total Rs. 11.23 Lakh (combined), NPS Rs. 5.27 lakh, Paragh Parekh and UTI Flexi Cap Fund Rs. 5.30 lakh, Bandha Small Cap Rs. 5K, Direct Investment in equity Rs. 34.00 Lakh. Saving account balance Rs. 10 Lakh, Fol Bond 20 grams, Some ornament about 100 grams. One house (staying) value about Rs. 1 CR and one flat (vacant) value about Rs. 1 Cr. Home Loan outstanding Rs. 11.40 Lakh (EMI Rs. 25K), Insurance cover against Home loan EMI Rs. 1K Monthly Expenses about Rs. 1 Lakh PM. (including education and house hold expenses). Earning INR 2.5 Lakh PM. Wated to be reture by 55, can you please advice how to allocate my investment so that my earning can be generated Rs. 2 Lkah PM.
Ans: You are already on the right course to providing for your corpus for proposed retirement at your age 55. However you also need to provide for future marriages of your daughter & son, say at their age 25 i.e. after 11 years and 17 years respectively. Current cost of marriage of say Rs 25L may go-up at assumed inflation rate of 8% to Rs 58.29L & Rs 92.50L in 11 & 17 Years. At assumed ROI of 13% Equity MF SIP shall be required of Rs 16.5K, Rs 13.5K per month which will continue even after your proposed retirement age of 55. Additionally there seems to be scope for 70K PM Equity MF SIP for next 5 Years. On vacant flat you can assume rental income of say 35K per month. It is also assumed that investment in Sukanya Samriddhi will continue till her Marriage and shall be utilised for daughter's marriage expenses.

However with respect to your retirement plan at Age 55 years, at conservative return of 6% from annuity funds and rental incomes net of continuing MF SIP of Rs 30K, it is expected to generate around Rs 1 L PM at your age 55. Hence it is suggested not to retire by 55 as being proposed. Also please note that returns on MF, NPS & Direct Equities are linked to market performance and very volatile and are also subject to market, Interest rate risks etc. It is suggested to contact a Certified Financial Planner and/or Certified Financial Advisor for charting your path to retire peacefully. Goodluck.

Purshotam, CFP®, MBA, CAIIB, FIII
Certified Financial Planner
Insurance advisor
www.finphoenixinvest.com

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Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |231 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 13, 2025

Money
Dear sir/madam I have some ten lakh in NRI FD for 7% interest, if I keep 50%in mutual fund can I use the amount any of emergency as well as which mutual fund suggest for me
Ans: Dear Sir/Madam,

If you are planning to move 50% of your ?10 lakh NRI Fixed Deposit into mutual fund options, please note that you can definitely access the money during emergencies, provided you select the correct categories designed for high liquidity and low risk.

1. Can Mutual Fund Money Be Used During Emergencies?

Yes — if you invest in the right categories.

Categories suitable for emergency access:

? Liquid Funds
? Money Market Funds
? Ultra Short Duration Funds

These categories generally offer T+0 to T+1 liquidity (same day or next working day), have no lock-in period, and maintain low risk compared to equity-oriented investments.

2. Recommended Allocation (NRI – Balanced & Safe Plan)

Since you already have ?10 lakh in a fixed deposit, retaining ?5 lakh there provides stability and assured interest. The remaining ?5 lakh can be allocated to mutual fund categories that offer both liquidity and growth potential. By placing a portion in liquid or money market categories, you ensure instant access for emergencies, while the rest can be allocated to a moderate-risk hybrid category to give you long-term growth without compromising safety. This balanced approach helps you maintain emergency readiness, reduce risk, and potentially earn better returns than keeping the full amount in FD.

3. Option A: If You Want Emergency Access + Low Risk

(For the 50% amount you wish to shift)

Consider investing in categories such as:

Liquid Fund category

Money Market Fund category

Ultra Short Duration Fund category

These categories are suitable for short-term parking, emergency funds, and low-volatility needs.

4. Option B: If You Want Some Growth Along With Safety

From the ?5 lakh planned for mutual fund investment:

?3 lakh can be placed in liquid or money market categories for emergency and safety

?2 lakh may be placed in a Hybrid/Balanced Advantage category for steady growth with controlled risk

5. Tax Notes for NRIs

Debt-oriented categories: Taxed at 20% with indexation after 3 years

Equity-oriented categories: 10% LTCG above ?1 lakh

Some AMCs deduct TDS for NRIs depending on NRE/NRO mode and investment type
Disclaimer / Guidance:
The above analysis is generic in nature and based on limited data shared. For accurate projections — including inflation, tax implications, pension structure, and education cost escalation — it is strongly advised to consult a qualified QPFP/CFP or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD). They can help prepare a comprehensive retirement and goal-based cash flow plan tailored to your unique situation.
Financial planning is not only about returns; it’s about ensuring peace of mind and aligning your money with life goals. A professional planner can help you design a safe, efficient, and realistic roadmap toward your ideal retirement.

Best regards,
Naveenn Kummar, BE, MBA, QPFP
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered MFD
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10837 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 13, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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