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Worried About Friend's Uncharacteristic Behavior After Father's Death

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1621 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 09, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 01, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hi ,thanks for all your suggestions that you give. Really helpful to all. Would like to discuss my close friend .He is in 40's and has off late behaving wierd sometimes.specially after his fathers demise.he sometimes forgets what we discussed few days before.often goes on past memories. (what others did to him and his struggle). become more religious. He is doing good in office and famoly unaware as he behaves mostly normal at home. Really worried.pl advice what can I Do extra to make him behave normally.thanks.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Thanks you for your kind words of acknowledgement!

It's nice to know that you care a lot. Just be with him as any friend would...let him have the time to grieve and instead of putting a time to how quickly he must normalize, just let him be...That would really help him more than you wanting to see him better due to your anxiety. This is more about him than you. Step in to intervene only if there are drastic and detrimental changes in his behavior.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Apr 11, 2025 | Answered on Apr 11, 2025
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Thanks for the reply. It is now 4 years since father demise..How long to wait and what can I Do .thanks
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why are you timing it? I know that you are concerned BUT unless you see any self-harming or externally abusive behavior, just let him be...Again I say this, it's not about you as much as it is about him. Everyone process grief their own way and many change and become religious, spiritual, aethist, agnostic...
This change is perhaps what is bothering you as your friend is not who you are used to seeing; if you could just be there for him when he needs you, honestly that would make a huge difference to him. He is lucky to have a friend like you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 24, 2024Hindi
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Hi, sir, I have some child hood friend, we are best friend and stay with each other in tough situation. One of them who are settling in abroad now behave very abnormal, actually let me told what happened, he wanted to buy some property but maine dekhi bhi uske liye but Mujhe dar laga rahta tha ki itna bada investment kahi mere Karan galat na ho Jaye aur wo khud se verify kare, and he knows my i thinking by other common friend, tab se wo mujhse bahut rud and formal behave kar raha, maine bahut try Kiya, calls msg etc but he answered me 2-3 out of 10.. in his last bd i called him and wish but in my bd he didn't call Evan wish me common friend WhatsApp group...
Ans: Dear Friend,

It’s never easy to see a close relationship change, especially when you’ve shared such a strong bond over the years. Friendships, like any other relationships, go through ups and downs. Let’s take a step back and understand what might be happening, and explore ways to address it.

Possible Reasons for the Change
Misunderstanding:
It seems your friend may have felt unsupported during his property purchase decision. While your caution was well-meaning, he might have interpreted it as hesitation or lack of trust in his judgment.

Life Changes:
Settling abroad and adjusting to a new life can be overwhelming. Sometimes, people unintentionally drift apart while navigating new environments and responsibilities.

Emotional Guard:
His formal and distant behavior might indicate hurt feelings or a belief that the friendship has become strained. Instead of addressing the issue openly, he might be avoiding confrontation.

Steps to Rebuild the Friendship
Acknowledge and Address the Situation:
Send a heartfelt message where you acknowledge the distance between you both and express your willingness to understand and resolve it. For example:

“I’ve noticed we’ve been distant lately, and I really value our friendship. If I’ve done or said something to hurt you, I’d like to understand and make things right.”

Clarify Your Intentions:
If the property issue is at the root of the problem, explain your perspective. Share that your intention was to be cautious and protect him from potential risks, not to let him down.

Respect His Space:
While it’s important to reach out, avoid overwhelming him with too many calls or messages. Give him time to process and respond.

Reconnect Gradually:
Try rekindling the friendship in a lighter, more neutral way. Share a funny memory, an old photo, or an update about your life that might spark a natural conversation.

Lean on Common Friends:
If you have mutual friends, they can sometimes act as bridges in such situations. They might also provide insight into what your friend is feeling.

Prepare for All Outcomes:
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, people choose to move on for reasons of their own. If he remains distant, remember the good times you’ve shared and focus on maintaining the friendships that continue to nurture and support you.

A Gentle Perspective
Friendships, especially those that have lasted through tough times, are precious. But they also evolve as people grow and change. If your friend is currently unable to reciprocate your efforts, it doesn’t mean the bond you shared was meaningless. It simply means that both of you might be in different places emotionally or geographically right now.

Give it time, approach the situation with understanding, and keep your heart open. A true friendship often finds its way back, even after temporary distances.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal

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Dr Karthiyayini

Dr Karthiyayini Mahadevan  |1145 Answers  |Ask -

General Physician - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

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Hello doctor, my father had a mini heart attack in September. He was experiencing asthma and jhanjhanahat (I don't know what else can I call it) in shoulders and hands . His hands would get tight all of a sudden and it would pain a lot. Also, he is very physically active. He used to go to a pulmonologist for asthma but he overlooked all of these and suggested to put volini spray on it. So when he got the heartattack his left body got paralysed for a while and after that he was fine. The doctor said that there was blockage in artery so he got a surgery done where the stunt was placed near waist. We maintained a good diet after that but when he got back to his house my brother's wife would not care much about the diet and fed him oils and refined oil as much as she could. Now it has been 7 month now he has been experiencing tightness in hands and legs again. Please suggest doctor. I fear that he might get heart attack once again. And sir please suggest on one more thing that he used to be a very strict and sophisticated person. But now he has completed changed. Now he is not as strict as before but some weird behaviour is something that I have been noticing over few months. He is highly forgetfully. Like he will ask you for something and then forget about it just after few minutes and then scold you for it. He keeps repeating what he says during a conversation. Sometimes he reacts violently without understanding the situation well which was not the case before. I fear he might have some psychological problems as my mother in law as severe dementia that she cannot even eat or walk. I fear the same.
Ans: May be you father is having vascular dementia
Please consult a Neurologist

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |604 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dr. Madam My son,30 yr old, is MBA and serving MNC earning 25000 pm . He shows a very awkward behaviour , rude to family members, very adamant, careless, no charm for marriage and above all shows no responsibility. He takes everything as burden, curses peoples. Always remains fearful of his looks as his beard n hairs getting gray. We consult many psychiatrist but no result. Your suggestions please.
Ans: Your son's behavior, being rude, adamant, and showing little responsibility, coupled with his fear about his appearance, suggests he might be dealing with significant underlying issues such as depression, anxiety, or another mental health condition. The fact that psychiatric consultations haven't yielded results yet indicates that his situation might be complex and in need of a more nuanced approach.

It's essential to consider that sometimes, the right combination of therapeutic methods and practitioners takes time to find. A comprehensive evaluation by a multidisciplinary team could provide fresh insights. This team might include not only psychiatrists but also psychologists and possibly other specialists who can look at his situation from various angles.

Building a strong therapeutic alliance is crucial. The effectiveness of treatment often hinges on the quality of the relationship between the patient and the therapist. Encouraging your son to continue seeking a therapist he feels comfortable with might make a significant difference. It's not uncommon for people to try several therapists before finding the right fit.

Incorporating holistic approaches can also be beneficial. Practices such as mindfulness, meditation, or yoga can help with emotional regulation and stress management. Physical activities and maintaining a healthy diet can have positive effects on mental health. These approaches, combined with professional therapy, might help your son find more balance and relief.

Support groups can be incredibly valuable as well. They provide a space where individuals can share their experiences and feel understood. Encouraging your son to connect with others who face similar challenges can offer emotional support and practical advice, which might help him feel less isolated in his struggles.

It's clear that you care deeply for your son and want the best for him. Navigating this journey requires patience, persistence, and compassion—for both him and yourself. It's important to take care of your well-being too, as supporting a loved one with mental health challenges can be exhausting and emotionally draining. Seeking support for yourself, whether through therapy, support groups, or other resources, can equip you with the strength and resilience needed to continue being there for your son.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6164 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 12, 2025

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Namaste sir.. my son got 6640.5 rank in KCET spot ranking. He likes to pursue CSE or AI. Please suggest a good college wherehe can get seat. Further what is the difference between University or Autonomous college?
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