45-Year-Old Woman in a Long-Distance Relationship with a Man Facing Financial and Health Challenges

Dear VG,

It looks likely that when you sent him your interest request, your feelings were from 2006. But hey, everyone has grown older and wiser since then.

Also, to expect him to have the same level of interest that you have, isn’t wise as he has led a different life to yours.

What happens is when we start our lives together when we are younger, we merge on a lot of ideals and thoughts.

When the same marriage/companionship/relationship happens when we are older, having had separate experiences and a different life, we might not have much in common in terms of thoughts and way of being in life.

Given that, have an honest chat with him face to face, and express what you want out of this connection.

Give him time to process his own life, his needs, his wants, his priorities and then get back to you.

If he is clearly not into this, no point waiting for him and tugging at your heart strings.

So the only way that I feel is to have a mature face to face talk where both of you have space to be assertive and communicate boldly. It will help both of you to decide what’s best.

All the best!

Dear R,

And what exactly more do you want as evidence for you to value yourself much more?

His being in jail wasn’t enough? Whether he was falsely accused or not is something that you will never know.

Yet, you want to look the other way and give him the benefit of doubt on a man who hasn’t managed to stand on his own feet.

The fact that you feel used is perhaps stemming from your inner voice and you are just protecting yourself.

If you support him, you are always going to wonder whether him going to jail was under a false accusation or not.

So, think if you want to spend time with someone who is dependent on you emotionally and financially and someone who possibly has a hidden past.

Be happy and wise!