Hello Ms Shalini. I have been reading your columns. I am 52, an HR professional, divorced in 2022, after 26 years of marriage. My kids are grown up and settled abroad. Now I'm alone, and honestly, I feel like I have missed out on life. I want to experience love again, but I dont know where and how to begin. Honestly, i dont want to sound or look desperate and call for attention. A female friend told me to get on an app. It's awkward to create a profile for a date. I am not looking for a fling. I don't want desperate men either. I want good companionship. Where do I begin?

Ans: Dear Yazdi,
From the information that I have come across, there are a couple of Apps that cater to seniors only. You might want to try one of those.
Also I see that you seem to like being outdoors and there are travel start-ups that cater to the young at heart (seniors). The internet should give you information on this. They organize trips and adventures that might meet your level of adventure and incidentally you might meet like-minded people too. That may give you a good avenue to connect and build an association not only with a lady but many others as well.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Yazdi,
I have answered your question here on Jul 20:
https://gurus.rediff.com/question/qdtl/relationship/gurus-logo-yazdi-patel-sign-out-healthhealth-moneymoney-relationshiprelationship-careescareer/5141831

If you are unable to view it through the link, here was my response:

From the information that I have come across, there are a couple of Apps that cater to seniors only. You might want to try one of those.
Also I see that you seem to like being outdoors and there are travel start-ups that cater to the young at heart (seniors). The internet should give you information on this. They organize trips and adventures that might meet your level of adventure and incidentally you might meet like-minded people too. That may give you a good avenue to connect and build an association not only with a lady but many others as well.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I hear your concern but I don't think it has anything to do with the mode of dating. Online or IRL, rude people will continue to be rude everywhere. Also, not everyone with a stable career is arrogant and unruly, men and women alike.

Apart from dating apps, you can try finding love IRL. You can try going to clubs, cafes, or social gatherings to meet like-minded women. Or you can ask your friends to set you up with someone who matches your criteria. You can join some activity of your liking to find women who prefer the same things as you. Start with a HI and see where it goes.

You can find a decent human being even in a dating app. It is a matter of patience, a pinch of luck, and primarily a good amount of effort from your end. To get better results, try mentioning your intents in your bio; for instance, you want to date and then move on to marriage- mention the same in your bio to attract the right kind of people.


Best Wishes!

Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.