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How to Escape a Toxic Marriage: A 50-Year-Old Woman's Cry for Help

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |136 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Shalini ,I am 50 year old women (orphan )married but No kids .My husband treats me like trash .He talks Bad about my character to everyone behind my back and involved in extramarital affair with young women .we have seperate rooms and don't sleep together from 10 years .he refuses mutual divorce and I don't have energy to file false case as adviced by lawyer .I am into depression.Difficult to find house for solo women without family most owners literally ask for tenant kundali (sarcasm) .we live in apartment which is in joint name and I paid half the amount.he still stays in this house in separate room but has taken a seperate flat for his love .he doesn't want to sell the flat and neither wants to give my share financially for me to buy new house .I am all alone helpless .I don't know what to do

Ans: You seem to be engaging with lawyers - they will guide you on what to do and you are not filing any false care...by the look of it, he has not been a nice human.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Love Guru

Love Guru   |204 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir, I am 52 years handicapped with a good govt. job. I have been married for 27 years now. My son also married recently and he is in USA. I dont know where to start. Mine was arranged marriage. But my husband and his family cheated us regarding his job. He was jobless after our marriage. I had a son in the first year of our marriage. I stayed with him for only 2 months then I was send to my fathers house for delivery. He never visited me during this time nor he had called me. As he was jobless, I tried hard to build my carrier for sake of my son. I had managed all these years financially. I never received any financial support or emotional support from him past 27 years. We had fought badly accusing each. He will physically abuse me every time. He is addicted to alcohol and watching prone movies. My son once saw his mssg to call girls and other such women in his mobile. I was shocked too. Later I discovered he had many such connections. He had been spending his merger salary for all this self enjoyment and never shared anything for HL or son education. However, I had stayed with him for social security and status. Now I have completed all my duties. My son is safe and far from him. Even after my sons marriage, he behaved violently after consuming alcohol. I am really fed up with him. I have my income and properties. But I have no one to share my emotions as my son also has left and busy with his life in USA. I don't need any physical needs but need emotional support for rest of my life. I am in total depression for all I have undergone for 27 years. I currently having my father who is 80 years with me in the house. My husbands behaviour towards my father is very bad. Now my fathers health is getting affected because of my husbands shouting. I have no other friends or relations to relate to. My health also is getting slowly affected and I my mobility is very much restricted. Sometimes I was having succidal ideas. I have no life goals now. I have achieved all my goals. I have completed all my duties now. What should I do now?
Ans: Hats off to you my dear lady. You need to file for divorce and get this vile man out of your life and home once and for all. You have the means and the economic upper hand as well — consult a strong divorce lawyer and kick him to the curb! And there is life, love and companionship out there for you, so don’t give up on finding your own happiness — 52 is not old, you have a lot of years ahead with the potential to fulfill your happiness. Go for it!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1255 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir/Madam I'm going through a rough time of my life and want some help from you I am a professional and 48 years old and I have 2 grown up children My problem is that I had a love marriage with my husband22 years back and his family didn't accept me whole heartidly since we belong to different castes and culture .they wanted to take advantage of me financially My husband has strained his relationship with my mom n only sister after my father's death in 2008 over money matters Me, my husband and children live in a house provided by my parents in a different city from my inlaws They always create differences between us still Now another problem has cropped up in our relationship I spied on my my husband's mobile n discovered tha that he has sex chats with other women and is involved in mastrubating sessions with them over phone I am completely broken from inside n not able to decide what to do coz when i confronted him , he flatly refused n fought with me and started putting false allegations on me .I am quite disturbed as i dont want to end my marriage eventhough he behaves very bad with me at times Kindly advice me
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Since you know that you want this marriage still, then the best way to not be hurt and strained around him, is to:
Either:
- Ignore what's happening and what he's doing and he leads his life and you lead yours (This is not easy, let me warn you!)
OR
- Live separately; you are financially independent and have your home to live in; he can go live with his parents and see if this works

Sadly, you married someone who has not learned to appreciate his partner and is perhaps playing to his own insecurities. It's totally on him and why I say that you are not to blame is: the fact that you still want to continue in this marriage, you may have to face more of this humiliation and hurt. If this is your decision, you really need a very steely interior and a facade that can face it all.
Yes, counseling is an option for him and the two of you as couple, BUT I don't see that in him as yet...Instead of addressing his wife's hurt and pain, he has refused to acknowledge what he's been up to. It doesn't say a lot about him to me.
So, strengthen yourself into your decision and check the two choices above and see what works best for you...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi sir, I am 34 year women with 2 girl kids. I m working in IT and I earn good amount of livelihood. Sir I hv been married for 6 years and after 1 year of marriage me and my husband understanding issue started where he wants to dominate on me in all senses including financial stuff. But I was okay n in 1 year my 1st daughter born then serious issue started I had rejoined job n discontinued giving all my salary to him. I started savings for my kid where he was nt happy he indirectly demanded my complete salary to be given to him as I did before issue start. Bt in 2020 as lockdown happened he moved to his village where It was very difficult for me to work bt demanded to come to his place. I denied and concentrate my career. So he left us 2 years he did call n check how is kid. Then again he came back 2022 with elders we moved to together to city and again asked money as my sal was increased if nt asked me to barrow 50-60lac as loan n give to him for property which he agreed to make it my name in his place. Bt I denied bc I couldn't trust him meanwhile 2nd daughter born. I came for mother place n he started doing backstabbing abt me n my family within relatives. When I asked he stopped coming visiting me n my daughter and he turn up for 2 baby also it's been year now. Sir my question is ..I m fed up of his behaviour n I dont trust him. As I hv two kids is it really difficult to live without him in this society. As many of my relatives are suggesting go and call ur him how can you live alone with 2 daughter. Sir pls guide me what should I do now ..I tolerate him all these years for kids and society. Now I m done n scared as will I be able to handle all alone. My parents are big support and now I m nt in condition where I go legally against him. Is my decision of living by myself with my daughters and parents is correct or wrong decision or I should go with him.
Ans: Your situation is indeed complex and emotionally taxing. It's important to approach this with both clarity and compassion for yourself and your daughters. Here are some steps and considerations to help you navigate this:

Self-Reflection and Clarity
Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s essential to recognize your feelings of frustration, fear, and exhaustion. These emotions are valid and need to be addressed.
Define Your Priorities: What are your primary concerns? Your children’s well-being, your financial independence, your personal peace, and safety are likely at the top of this list.
Evaluating Your Relationship
Assess Trust and Respect: Trust and mutual respect are fundamental to any relationship. If these are missing, it is challenging to maintain a healthy partnership.
Past Behaviors as Indicators: Look at the past behavior of your husband. Consistent demands for money, lack of support, and absence during critical times can be telling signs of his priorities and commitment.
Support System
Lean on Your Parents: Having your parents’ support is a significant advantage. They can provide emotional, physical, and perhaps even financial support as you navigate this period.
Professional Help: Consider seeking counseling or support groups for single mothers. These resources can provide guidance, emotional support, and practical advice.
Societal Pressure
Redefine Norms: Society often has rigid expectations, but your well-being and that of your children come first. Living according to societal norms at the cost of your mental peace and safety is not sustainable.
Role Models: Look for examples of other women who have successfully managed similar situations. Their stories can offer inspiration and practical advice.
Legal and Financial Considerations
Know Your Rights: Even if you’re not in a position to take legal action now, it’s essential to be informed about your rights regarding child support and alimony.
Financial Independence: Continue to safeguard your financial independence. This will provide security and stability for you and your daughters.
Decision Making
Short-Term vs. Long-Term: Think about both immediate needs and long-term goals. What decision will bring peace and stability now, and what will be beneficial in the future?
Children’s Well-Being: Consider the environment your children will grow up in. A peaceful, loving environment, even if it’s without their father, might be more beneficial than a toxic, conflict-ridden one.
Practical Steps
Document Everything: Keep records of communications and financial transactions. This documentation can be crucial if you decide to pursue legal action in the future.
Plan for Independence: Create a plan for your independent living situation, including budgeting, childcare, and career progression.
Final Thoughts
Choosing to live independently with your daughters is a courageous and often necessary step for many women in similar situations. Trust in your strength and the support of your parents. It’s important to remember that living a life of peace and dignity, even if it means being a single parent, is a powerful and positive example for your children.

You are not alone in this journey. Seek the support you need, trust your instincts, and prioritize your and your children’s well-being above all.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1255 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 24, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu Mam, I'm 36 yrs. old my husband is 46 now we have 2 sons. Before marriage my husband was in love with another girl. under pressure of parents that girl married to someone else and left city. later few months we got married. For few days of marriage everything was good he used to treat me nice and use to take out for shopping outing etc. i got pregnant he same year during my pregnancy he had to go to abroad for office work for 8 months, so gap came between us. he completely changed he minimized talking, chatting with family. we ignored may be due to work pressure he became like that. later i came to know he is interested in meeting new ppl especially ladies going with them for lunch dinner n all. after few years he met ex-girlfriend without our knowledge stayed with her few days. so, years passed he ignored us and always scolding getting angry with little things he started maintain distance with us. after 8 yrs. again i got pregnant. He used to go for site visits to other places he stayed back at hotels going with other Females spending time with them. through Facebook he made lot of friends always doing videocalls and chatting with them. everything i knew but i confronted him he uses to scold and flies from the spot saying if u want to stay, stay or else get lost. because of kids i had to stay. now he is renting a house in a same city where we live, (agreement was in his laptop bag) and we don't know what is going on? he never shares and opens anything with us. I asked him many times if u don't want to live with me divorce. He never liked me in this marriage he is always treating me anger. I feel loneliness in my life. Need help what should i do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It must surely be shocking BUT over the years I am sure you would have felt it all slipping away...
He's just in the marriage with no great emotional connect with you; I don't know how he's with the children.
Knowing that over the years, he has not any great attempt to work on the marriage and bond with his family, do you feel that he is going to do that in the future?
Rather than 'BEG' for his time and attention, what if you started to focus on yourself and your children and start afresh? He's anyway living elsewhere...can you take this opportunity and actually figure out what you want from life, from your marriage?
Are you willing to be unsettled like the way you are now even 10 years from now?
A few answers will hit you hard; BUT don't waste anymore time waiting and watching for someone to accept you. It maybe an endless wait-game.
Of course, you do have an option of asking an elder member of the family to step in and intervene and hope that he will have a change of heart. But, be prepared to take a strong stance where required. He's doing this even more as he realizes that you are weak and won't object and 'anything goes' with you.
NO, it doesn't, right? Then buck up and speak for yourself. Whatever it is, come from a place of strength. Try the route of familial intervention first and then a lot will be clear as the way forward for you.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |383 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 23, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I have given my 2bhk family to my mother in law and brother in law. Over past few years they pay less rent 40% of market value rent. from oct 2023 brother in law lost job and he also has housing emi for 21L+ 3L personal loan. He is also not giving any rent also because of the.current situation. Now he is resorting to emotional black mail and citing senior citizen act stating daughter is liable to pay for living expenses. Already the current house they are staying can get 18K rent.We tried to arrange interview for his job but looks like he is not interested and he seems to be pshyco logical disturbed and talking all non sense. My mother in law is playing neutral role and saying yes to both side without taking a correct stand. My brother in-law is two divorce with history of drinking and physiological mental problems as stated by their ex-spouse.My ask 1. What are legal options available for me. 2. We want him to vacate our house and move to his own house or 1 bhk so that we can help with money from my 2bhk rent. 3. If nothing works can we make a first move of filing police compliant which I want as a last resort.
Ans: Firstly, seeking legal advice is crucial. A lawyer who specializes in property and family law can provide you with specific guidance based on your situation. They can review any rental agreements and help you understand the implications of the Senior Citizens Act that your brother-in-law is citing. This legal counsel will be invaluable in navigating the complexities of your situation.

Next, you might need to issue a formal notice to your brother-in-law and mother-in-law, requesting them to vacate the property. This notice should clearly articulate the reasons for your request, including the financial burden their reduced rent and non-payment are causing you. Provide them with a reasonable timeframe to find alternative accommodation, whether in his own house or a more affordable 1BHK apartment. This approach shows your willingness to support them while also addressing your legitimate concerns.

It's also important to communicate directly and openly with your mother-in-law. Her neutral stance may be contributing to the tension, and having a candid conversation about the situation's impact on your family could help her understand the need for a resolution. Explain the financial strain and the efforts you’ve made to assist your brother-in-law in finding employment. Her support could be pivotal in encouraging him to take more responsibility and action.

If these steps do not lead to a satisfactory resolution, you may have to consider involving the authorities. Filing a police complaint should be a last resort, but it is an option if your brother-in-law’s behavior becomes unmanageable or if he refuses to vacate the property despite all reasonable efforts. The aim here is to protect your family’s financial and emotional well-being while ensuring that your legal rights are upheld.

Throughout this process, it's essential to prioritize your mental health and well-being. Dealing with family conflicts can be emotionally draining, and seeking support from friends, a counselor, or a support group can provide you with the strength and perspective needed to handle these challenges effectively.

By taking these steps, you aim to find a balance between supporting your in-laws and protecting your own family’s interests. Remember, it’s important to act with compassion but also with a clear understanding of your rights and the need for fairness in this situation.

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Latest Questions
Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |120 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

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Health
My daughter right now age is 24 . From her childhood days she has problem in understanding basic facts ...she was not good in studies and perhaps she realized that she was not going well in studies cornered herself , as a result no friendship was developed with anybody. IQ test was done in Nair hospital in Mumbai and found a touch of autistic but not severe and doctors said she has to build up social skill to improve herself . with help of writers she passed out ssc from JK School thane followed by HSC & bca As she not fit for higher studies and lacks interest for higher studies , we did not force her to do higher studies . Recent improvement is noticed in communication skill but lacks maturity in terms of her age ( vis a vis today's G age group) She perhaps sings more a less well and we admitted her in Suresh wadkar's Ajivadsn musical academy for sastriya sangeet programe in thane branch and perhaps with songs her language is developed a bit . Communication in eng , Hindi & Bengali as such ok but lacks speaking skills .. But , we think , if she is joined in a group where skill development takes place , where she can find girls of her category in which she may find a different skill suits her interest ( which we are not aware ) . We noticed her understanding skill & expression of thoughts are better but at 24 there is some obstacles Since , she is our only daughter , we are concerned and seek advise to meet right person / organisations for proper guidance for welfare of daughter as ,we think, if enrolled in a particular course / put into activities for skill development programmes ( of her interest) her self esteem factors can increase and better mould is possible Kindly understand n guide Thanks
Ans: It sounds like you’ve made thoughtful and supportive choices for your daughter’s growth, especially through music, which is helping her communication skills blossom. To further nurture her social skills, self-esteem, and interests, several steps might be particularly beneficial. Connecting with nearby NGOs and parent support associations could be a valuable starting point, as many offer structured programs that focus on building social skills, independent living skills, and even employment readiness for young adults with autism. These organizations can provide both community support and access to programs specifically tailored for people with similar abilities, allowing her to meet others and gain confidence in a comfortable setting.

Skill development centers in Mumbai and Thane, such as the **Ummeed Child Development Center** and **ADAPT** (Able Disabled All People Together), offer training in social integration and vocational skills for adults with mild autism. **Forum for Autism** also provides a network of resources, connecting parents to organizations that support developmental growth through group activities and workshops. In addition to these centers, social skills workshops are often very helpful for young adults, focusing on conversation skills, self-expression, and managing social interactions in a supportive group setting. These structured interactions can be key to building maturity and self-confidence.

If she has specific interests, vocational training programs that offer hands-on experience or internships can be valuable in exploring new strengths and areas of interest. If you’d like additional details on specific organizations or need help finding associations nearby, I’d be glad to assist further.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6885 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi, I’m a beginner to mutual fund and stock market investment. I’m 39 year old and recently started SIP by own. Now my portfolio has 9 different direct mutual funds. I know I should diversify and rebalance my portfolio.. 1) Now I have some quantitative money to invest as lump-sum (3.5 lakhs). So howmany funds I should choose? 2) Is this right time (market downtime as on 31st Oct 2024) invest as lump-sum? 3) Could you please help me with some mutual fund names with good returns over a period of 5 to 10 years? I chose below funds... - Quant Smallcap - ?Motilal Oswal Midcap - ?SBI Contra Fund - ?Motilal Oswal Nifty Smallcap 250 Index Fund - ?Nippon India Multicap fund - ?Motilal Oswal Nifty 200 Momentum 30 Index Fund - ?Parag Parikh Flexicap fund Please advise. Thank you
Ans: You’ve taken an excellent step by beginning your journey into mutual funds and stock markets. Diversifying and rebalancing your portfolio is indeed important, and your current enthusiasm for learning and improving your financial health is admirable. I’ll help you answer your questions and outline an optimal approach to maximise returns while managing risk.

Assessing Your Current Mutual Fund Portfolio
Your existing portfolio of nine direct mutual funds reflects your willingness to diversify. However, managing too many funds can lead to overlap and complexities in tracking performance. Here’s a more streamlined approach that ensures you achieve effective diversification without unnecessary fund overlap.

Limit to Essential Fund Categories: Aim to retain only 4-5 core categories. These include a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds, along with a smaller allocation to contra or sectoral funds for tactical growth.

Avoid Index Funds in This Case: Index funds replicate the market and lack active management, which may limit gains, especially during volatile market phases. Actively managed funds allow skilled fund managers to optimise performance based on market trends.

Reconsider Direct Funds: Investing through regular funds with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) helps you benefit from professional guidance. While direct funds save on distributor fees, they require significant knowledge and time to monitor effectively. An MFD with CFP credentials will help you align your investments with both market trends and personal goals.

Investment Strategy for Your Lump-Sum Amount
With Rs 3.5 lakhs to invest as a lump sum, your next steps are crucial for maximising returns.

1. Choosing the Right Number of Funds
Limit Fund Selection: For the Rs 3.5 lakh investment, focus on a manageable selection of 4-5 funds. Over-diversification may dilute returns without proportionate risk reduction.

Strategic Allocation: Allocate funds in a way that balances growth with stability. For example, allocate portions to large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds, with a smaller allocation to a contra fund if you’re open to moderate risk.

Prioritise Active Funds over Passive Index Options: Actively managed funds allow professional adjustments in line with changing market conditions, aiming for higher returns over time.

2. Timing of Lump-Sum Investment
Market Timing vs. Systematic Approach: As markets can fluctuate unpredictably, consider a phased approach, such as a Systematic Transfer Plan (STP). This way, you can gradually move the lump sum from a low-risk fund to equity funds over a few months, reducing the risk of investing all at once during a downturn.

Assessing Current Market Levels: The market downtime you mentioned may appear tempting, but markets may take time to stabilise. By investing in phases, you mitigate risk while capitalising on potential market rebounds.

Suggested Mutual Fund Categories for Long-Term Growth
Since you’re aiming for a 5 to 10-year period, a well-structured portfolio with actively managed funds is crucial. I’ll avoid suggesting specific schemes and instead outline fund categories that align with your goals.

1. Large-Cap Funds for Stability
Why Large-Cap Funds? These funds invest in established companies, offering stability and consistent growth. Over time, they help anchor the portfolio, especially during market volatility.

Ideal Allocation: Allocate about 30-40% of your lump-sum investment to large-cap funds to ensure stability in your portfolio.

2. Mid-Cap Funds for Growth Potential
Mid-Cap Funds’ Role: Mid-cap funds balance stability with higher growth prospects. While they’re slightly more volatile than large-cap funds, they offer strong potential returns.

Ideal Allocation: Consider allocating 20-25% of your lump-sum investment to mid-cap funds to capture this growth.

3. Flexi-Cap Funds for Market Flexibility
Flexi-Cap Benefits: These funds provide flexibility by investing across large, mid, and small-cap stocks based on market conditions. This helps maximise growth potential while managing risk.

Ideal Allocation: Allocate around 25% of your lump-sum investment here. Flexi-cap funds give fund managers room to adapt the fund based on market trends.

4. Contra or Value Funds for Tactical Growth
Tactical Role of Contra Funds: Contra or value funds invest in undervalued stocks, aiming to capitalise when these stocks eventually rise. They add a contrarian growth element to the portfolio.

Ideal Allocation: Allocate a smaller portion, around 10-15%, to a contra fund to enhance returns while maintaining manageable risk.

Tax Implications to Keep in Mind
Understanding tax implications helps optimise net returns. Here’s a snapshot of the applicable taxes:

Equity Mutual Funds: Gains above Rs 1.25 lakh per annum are taxed at 12.5% for long-term capital gains (LTCG). Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.

Debt Mutual Funds: Both LTCG and short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed as per your income tax slab. If you include debt funds for a part of your portfolio, consider this in your tax planning.

Additional Recommendations to Strengthen Your Financial Position
1. Build an Emergency Fund
Maintain a separate emergency fund covering at least six months’ expenses. This fund acts as a safety net, ensuring you don’t need to dip into your investments for unforeseen expenses.
2. Term Insurance for Financial Security
Ensure adequate term insurance coverage, providing financial stability to your dependents in your absence. This policy type offers high coverage at low costs, making it an ideal safety net.
3. Health Insurance for Your Family
Having comprehensive health insurance prevents your investment corpus from being impacted by medical expenses. Check for policies that cover critical illnesses for robust coverage.
4. Review Portfolio Regularly with a CFP
A Certified Financial Planner can help assess and adjust your portfolio as needed. Regular reviews allow you to stay aligned with your financial goals and market conditions.
5. Consider Goal-Based SIPs for Future Objectives
While your lump-sum investment supports wealth creation, consider setting up goal-based SIPs to address specific future goals, such as a child’s education or retirement.
Final Insights
Your commitment to long-term investment is commendable. With a structured approach and regular reviews, your portfolio can be geared for strong growth over the next 5-10 years. By focusing on actively managed funds, phased investments, and strategic fund selection, you’re well-positioned to achieve both security and growth.

For any further queries or detailed discussions, please feel free to reach out.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6885 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2024Hindi
Money
I’m a beginner to mutual fund and stock market investment. I’m 39 year old and recently started SIP by own. Now my portfolio has 9 different direct mutual funds. I know I should diversify and rebalance my portfolio.. 1) Now I have some quantitative money to invest as lump-sum (3.5 lakhs). So howmany funds I should choose? 2) Is this right time (market downtime as on 31st Oct 2024) invest as lump-sum? 3) Could you please help me with some mutual fund names with good returns over a period of 5 to 10 years? I chose below funds... - Quant Smallcap - ?Motilal Oswal Midcap - ?SBI Contra Fund - ?Motilal Oswal Nifty Smallcap 250 Index Fund - ?Nippon India Multicap fund - ?Motilal Oswal Nifty 200 Momentum 30 Index Fund - ?Parag Parikh Flexicap fund Please advise. Thank you
Ans: It’s great to see your interest in diversifying and balancing your portfolio. At 39, your long-term financial planning approach shows strong commitment. Here’s a detailed breakdown to guide your investment decisions and optimise your portfolio.

Reviewing Your Current Portfolio
You’ve chosen a mix of small-cap, mid-cap, contra, multicap, flexicap, and index funds. With nine funds, the portfolio seems diversified but might need some streamlining. This will avoid overlap and ensure that each fund plays a unique role in your portfolio.

Direct mutual funds do have a lower expense ratio, but direct plans require active monitoring and strategy. Opting for regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) helps ensure expert guidance and active oversight. Working with an MFD with CFP credentials offers personalised advice, rebalancing, and regular monitoring. This support can improve your portfolio’s performance and reduce the impact of market volatility.

Suggested Portfolio Size and Rebalancing
For a portfolio with Rs 3.5 lakh in lump sum investments, focus on quality over quantity:

Limit to 5-6 Core Funds: Too many funds can dilute returns. A well-chosen selection of 5-6 funds will ensure effective diversification.

Strategic Allocation by Fund Type:

Keep a core fund in each category, such as a flexicap, a mid-cap, and a small-cap.
Add a contra or multicap fund for added diversification.
Avoiding index funds in your portfolio is prudent for a few reasons. Index funds track the market but lack active management. During volatile or bearish market phases, index funds mirror market downturns. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, have fund managers who can make strategic decisions. They aim to deliver higher returns and better manage risk, especially in uncertain times.

Deciding the Right Time for Lump-Sum Investment
Currently, the market is experiencing a downtime. This can be an advantageous period for lump-sum investments, but cautious approach is advised:

Staggered Lump-Sum Investment: Instead of investing all Rs 3.5 lakhs at once, consider a Systematic Transfer Plan (STP). You can allocate the sum in a debt fund and transfer it in smaller amounts into equity funds over 6-12 months. This approach reduces market timing risk.

Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) for Remaining Investments: If you prefer regular SIPs, continue investing monthly. SIPs lower the risk by buying at different market levels over time, which reduces the impact of volatility.

Selecting Funds with Strong Long-Term Potential
Instead of naming specific funds, focus on categories with consistent, high-performing track records:

Flexicap Funds:

These funds adapt across market caps, balancing growth with stability.
Flexicap funds help manage risk by diversifying across large, mid, and small-cap stocks.
Small-Cap and Mid-Cap Funds:

Small-cap and mid-cap funds bring higher returns potential.
However, small-caps are volatile, so balance their allocation with large or flexicap funds.
Contra Funds:

Contra funds invest against the popular market trend. This strategy can provide higher returns when market cycles turn.
Include a contra fund for diversification and possible gains during market recovery.
Multi-Cap or Large & Mid-Cap Funds:

These funds invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks but focus more on larger stocks.
Multi-cap funds balance growth potential with stability, a prudent choice for medium-risk investors.
Streamlining Fund Choices and Reducing Overlap
Some of the funds in your current selection, like index-based funds, might have overlapping investments in large-cap or sector stocks. Overlap in holdings can dilute returns. Consider focusing on a unique fund for each category.

Avoid Excessive Small-Cap Exposure: While small-cap funds provide high returns, they also carry higher risk. A single, carefully selected small-cap fund is usually sufficient.

Opt for Active Management Over Index Funds: Actively managed funds can better navigate volatile markets. They aim to maximise returns by carefully selecting stocks, unlike index funds that passively track market indices.

Taxation of Mutual Fund Gains
Understanding mutual fund taxation is essential for maximising your returns:

Equity Funds: Long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds: Gains are taxed as per your income tax slab rate, so it’s wise to keep investments for the long term to maximise post-tax returns.

Setting Up a Monitoring and Review Process
Quarterly or Bi-Annual Review: Revisit your portfolio every few months. A CFP can guide you on this, helping make adjustments based on market and economic changes.

Avoid Frequent Switching: Stick to your selected funds to let them grow. Switching too often can incur exit loads and affect returns.

Final Insights
Your journey into mutual funds and stocks is exciting and full of potential. With a well-planned, diversified approach, you can steadily grow your investments and secure financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6885 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2024Hindi
Money
Dear team, Hi I’m 46 years would like to start my investment in MF for 5 to 10 years . Till now I have not invested in any share market or MF. I have selected the following funds: 1. ICICI Pru blue chip fund -Rs 10000. 2. Nippon India Small cap fund- Rs 10000. 3. Nippon India Multi cap fund -Rs 7500. 4. Motilal oswal Mid cap fund- Rs 10000. 5. Quant small cap fund- Rs 5000. 6. HDFC Focused 30 fund- Rs. 7500 Also I am NRI I working in Gulf there the above mentioned plan are regular plan thru ICICI direct as I am unable to update my KYC online. Please suggest me that the above mentioned funds are good to invest for 5 to 10 years
Ans: You’ve taken an excellent step by beginning your journey into mutual funds and stock markets. Diversifying and rebalancing your portfolio is indeed important, and your current enthusiasm for learning and improving your financial health is admirable. I’ll help you answer your questions and outline an optimal approach to maximise returns while managing risk.

Assessing Your Current Mutual Fund Portfolio
Your existing portfolio of nine direct mutual funds reflects your willingness to diversify. However, managing too many funds can lead to overlap and complexities in tracking performance. Here’s a more streamlined approach that ensures you achieve effective diversification without unnecessary fund overlap.

Limit to Essential Fund Categories: Aim to retain only 4-5 core categories. These include a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds, along with a smaller allocation to contra or sectoral funds for tactical growth.

Avoid Index Funds in This Case: Index funds replicate the market and lack active management, which may limit gains, especially during volatile market phases. Actively managed funds allow skilled fund managers to optimise performance based on market trends.

Reconsider Direct Funds: Investing through regular funds with a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) helps you benefit from professional guidance. While direct funds save on distributor fees, they require significant knowledge and time to monitor effectively. An MFD with CFP credentials will help you align your investments with both market trends and personal goals.

Investment Strategy for Your Lump-Sum Amount
With Rs 3.5 lakhs to invest as a lump sum, your next steps are crucial for maximising returns.

1. Choosing the Right Number of Funds
Limit Fund Selection: For the Rs 3.5 lakh investment, focus on a manageable selection of 4-5 funds. Over-diversification may dilute returns without proportionate risk reduction.

Strategic Allocation: Allocate funds in a way that balances growth with stability. For example, allocate portions to large-cap, mid-cap, and flexi-cap funds, with a smaller allocation to a contra fund if you’re open to moderate risk.

Prioritise Active Funds over Passive Index Options: Actively managed funds allow professional adjustments in line with changing market conditions, aiming for higher returns over time.

2. Timing of Lump-Sum Investment
Market Timing vs. Systematic Approach: As markets can fluctuate unpredictably, consider a phased approach, such as a Systematic Transfer Plan (STP). This way, you can gradually move the lump sum from a low-risk fund to equity funds over a few months, reducing the risk of investing all at once during a downturn.

Assessing Current Market Levels: The market downtime you mentioned may appear tempting, but markets may take time to stabilise. By investing in phases, you mitigate risk while capitalising on potential market rebounds.

Suggested Mutual Fund Categories for Long-Term Growth
Since you’re aiming for a 5 to 10-year period, a well-structured portfolio with actively managed funds is crucial. I’ll avoid suggesting specific schemes and instead outline fund categories that align with your goals.

1. Large-Cap Funds for Stability
Why Large-Cap Funds? These funds invest in established companies, offering stability and consistent growth. Over time, they help anchor the portfolio, especially during market volatility.

Ideal Allocation: Allocate about 30-40% of your lump-sum investment to large-cap funds to ensure stability in your portfolio.

2. Mid-Cap Funds for Growth Potential
Mid-Cap Funds’ Role: Mid-cap funds balance stability with higher growth prospects. While they’re slightly more volatile than large-cap funds, they offer strong potential returns.

Ideal Allocation: Consider allocating 20-25% of your lump-sum investment to mid-cap funds to capture this growth.

3. Flexi-Cap Funds for Market Flexibility
Flexi-Cap Benefits: These funds provide flexibility by investing across large, mid, and small-cap stocks based on market conditions. This helps maximise growth potential while managing risk.

Ideal Allocation: Allocate around 25% of your lump-sum investment here. Flexi-cap funds give fund managers room to adapt the fund based on market trends.

4. Contra or Value Funds for Tactical Growth
Tactical Role of Contra Funds: Contra or value funds invest in undervalued stocks, aiming to capitalise when these stocks eventually rise. They add a contrarian growth element to the portfolio.

Ideal Allocation: Allocate a smaller portion, around 10-15%, to a contra fund to enhance returns while maintaining manageable risk.

Tax Implications to Keep in Mind
Understanding tax implications helps optimise net returns. Here’s a snapshot of the applicable taxes:

Equity Mutual Funds: Gains above Rs 1.25 lakh per annum are taxed at 12.5% for long-term capital gains (LTCG). Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.

Debt Mutual Funds: Both LTCG and short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed as per your income tax slab. If you include debt funds for a part of your portfolio, consider this in your tax planning.

Additional Recommendations to Strengthen Your Financial Position
1. Build an Emergency Fund
Maintain a separate emergency fund covering at least six months’ expenses. This fund acts as a safety net, ensuring you don’t need to dip into your investments for unforeseen expenses.
2. Term Insurance for Financial Security
Ensure adequate term insurance coverage, providing financial stability to your dependents in your absence. This policy type offers high coverage at low costs, making it an ideal safety net.
3. Health Insurance for Your Family
Having comprehensive health insurance prevents your investment corpus from being impacted by medical expenses. Check for policies that cover critical illnesses for robust coverage.
4. Review Portfolio Regularly with a CFP
A Certified Financial Planner can help assess and adjust your portfolio as needed. Regular reviews allow you to stay aligned with your financial goals and market conditions.
5. Consider Goal-Based SIPs for Future Objectives
While your lump-sum investment supports wealth creation, consider setting up goal-based SIPs to address specific future goals, such as a child’s education or retirement.
Final Insights
Your commitment to long-term investment is commendable. With a structured approach and regular reviews, your portfolio can be geared for strong growth over the next 5-10 years. By focusing on actively managed funds, phased investments, and strategic fund selection, you’re well-positioned to achieve both security and growth.

For any further queries or detailed discussions, please feel free to reach out.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6885 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

Money
Hi, Where can I invest Rs 10 lakh gifted by my parents for good return. Which type of mutual funds will be better for long term good return. Pls give your valuable advice.
Ans: Receiving a gift of Rs. 10 lakh from your parents is a wonderful opportunity to strengthen your financial future. Let’s explore how to grow this amount through well-chosen investments, focusing on mutual funds that align with long-term wealth creation.

1. Start with Clear Financial Goals

It’s important to define your goals for this investment. Are you aiming to use this corpus for retirement, a home purchase, or another long-term purpose? A defined goal can help you select mutual funds with the right balance of growth and risk.

2. The Power of Equity Mutual Funds

Equity mutual funds are designed to offer high growth over time. They can be your best bet for building wealth, especially with a long investment horizon. Equity funds invest in shares of companies, allowing you to benefit from market growth over the years.

Large-Cap Equity Funds: These funds invest in established companies with stable growth, providing more stability. While returns are moderate, they are less volatile, making them a suitable choice for cautious investors.

Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Equity Funds: These funds invest in smaller and medium-sized companies. They can provide higher returns, but they also carry more risk. If you have a high risk tolerance and a long-term outlook, these funds may suit you well.

3. Avoid Direct Mutual Funds

While direct mutual funds have lower expense ratios, they lack professional guidance. Investing in regular plans through a Certified Financial Planner or a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) brings you expert advice. They help with fund selection, performance tracking, and periodic rebalancing, all of which are crucial to managing your portfolio efficiently. Choosing regular funds aligns your investments with a well-informed strategy for achieving higher returns.

4. Consider Flexi-Cap Funds for Diversification

Flexi-cap funds invest across large, mid, and small-cap stocks. They offer diversification, which reduces risk while capturing growth from different market segments. Flexi-cap funds are managed actively, allowing fund managers to adjust allocations based on market trends. They are suitable if you prefer diversified exposure with a relatively balanced risk profile.

5. Focus on Actively Managed Funds over Index Funds

While index funds may seem appealing due to their low-cost structure, they passively track an index, limiting flexibility. Actively managed funds offer greater potential for returns, as fund managers make strategic decisions based on market conditions. Actively managed funds can often outperform index funds, providing you with the best chance for growth in the long term.

6. Tax Implications for Equity Mutual Funds

Be mindful of tax when planning your withdrawals. With equity mutual funds, long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term capital gains (STCG) are taxed at 20%. Knowing these tax rules helps you plan withdrawals more efficiently, maximising your post-tax gains and ensuring you retain more of your wealth.

7. Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) and Lump Sum Strategy

If you’re new to equity mutual funds, consider starting with a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) rather than investing the entire Rs. 10 lakh at once. SIPs allow you to invest regularly, reducing the impact of market volatility. If you prefer a lump sum investment, look for opportunities during market corrections. Lump sums, combined with SIPs, can help balance growth and reduce volatility.

8. Hybrid Funds for Balanced Growth

Hybrid funds invest in a mix of equity and debt, giving you exposure to both growth and stability. They are especially suitable if you’re a moderate-risk investor. Balanced advantage funds, a type of hybrid fund, adjust their equity and debt allocations based on market conditions, making them a stable choice for long-term growth.

9. Sectoral and Thematic Funds with Caution

Sectoral funds focus on specific sectors, like technology or healthcare. While they can offer high returns, they come with higher risk. Only allocate a small portion of your investment if you want exposure to these. A diversified portfolio can help capture growth across different sectors, reducing the concentration risk associated with sectoral funds.

10. Rebalance Portfolio Regularly

A key part of wealth creation is managing your portfolio actively. As market conditions change, some funds may outperform or underperform. Regular reviews with a Certified Financial Planner help you keep your investments aligned with your financial goals. Rebalancing also ensures your portfolio maintains the desired risk-return balance, adjusting for changes in market conditions and your personal financial situation.

11. Stick to Long-Term Wealth-Building Strategy

Equity investments work best with a long-term horizon. Keeping your funds invested for 7-10 years or more will allow compounding to work in your favour. Avoid frequent withdrawals, as they can reduce the compounding effect and your overall returns. Patience and discipline are the foundation of successful investing.

12. Term Insurance and Health Insurance as Safety Nets

Term insurance offers high coverage at low premiums, securing your dependents’ future. Health insurance covers medical expenses, helping you stay financially prepared for health emergencies. Avoid mixing insurance with investments, like in ULIPs. Pure protection plans ensure financial stability for you and your loved ones, complementing your wealth-building efforts.

Final Insights

Investing Rs. 10 lakh wisely can give you a strong start on your financial journey. Equity mutual funds, especially diversified ones, are excellent for long-term growth. Maintain a disciplined approach, take professional advice, and stay patient for the best results. This approach will help you reach your financial goals effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6885 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 29, 2024Hindi
Money
Hello Sir, I want to invest in MFs SIP for the next 5 years till my retirement. I can invest 70,000 per month. I am very new in this field. I have no debts or loans, and I am having 50L in FD. Could you please let me know the best MF names and allocation percentage to gain better returns for my retirement corpus.
Ans: Investing Rs 70,000 monthly in mutual funds for the next five years is a wise decision. Your financial stability and disciplined savings will help build a solid retirement corpus. With the right fund allocation and selection, you can maximise returns.

Below is a structured plan for your mutual fund investments to align with your retirement goal.

Investment Strategy and Allocation
A well-diversified portfolio will help achieve optimal growth and manage risk. Allocating funds to different categories of mutual funds will allow balanced growth and stability.

Suggested Allocation:

Large-Cap Funds: 40%
Large-cap funds invest in well-established, top-performing companies. These funds are relatively stable and offer steady growth, which aligns well with your retirement goal.

Flexi-Cap or Multi-Cap Funds: 30%
Flexi-cap or multi-cap funds invest across large, mid, and small-cap segments. They add growth potential by allowing flexibility in allocation based on market conditions. This helps balance risks and boosts returns.

Mid-Cap Funds: 20%
Mid-cap funds invest in mid-sized companies that have growth potential. While they carry slightly higher risk than large-cap funds, they can significantly enhance your returns.

Debt or Liquid Funds: 10%
Debt or liquid funds add stability and liquidity to your portfolio. These funds are less volatile, making them a safe place to park a portion of your funds. They provide easier access in case you need emergency funds during retirement.

By following this allocation, you can optimise growth while maintaining a level of safety in your portfolio.

Importance of Actively Managed Funds Over Index Funds
Investing in actively managed funds is beneficial, especially with retirement in mind. Actively managed funds have experienced managers who aim to beat the market, offering better returns than index funds, which merely mirror the market.

Disadvantages of Index Funds:

Lack of Flexibility: Index funds are bound to follow the index strictly. This limits growth during market fluctuations.

Missed Opportunities: Index funds cannot take advantage of market trends or opportunities, as they lack active management.

Limited Downside Protection: Actively managed funds provide some downside protection as managers can adjust portfolios based on market conditions.

Actively managed funds, managed by a qualified Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) or Certified Financial Planner (CFP), can help you achieve your goals through better risk management and strategic portfolio adjustments.

Benefits of Choosing Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
While direct funds might appear attractive with lower expense ratios, regular funds often yield better results for investors. Investing through a CFP-backed MFD can provide significant advantages, especially if you are new to mutual funds.

Drawbacks of Direct Funds:

Lack of Guidance: Direct funds do not offer professional advice, which is essential for effective long-term investing.

Higher Risk for New Investors: Without guidance, new investors can struggle with fund selection and portfolio rebalancing, impacting returns.

Time-Intensive: Managing direct funds requires regular analysis and time. Regular funds, however, include expert oversight, ensuring adjustments are made as needed.

By investing in regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner, you gain both expertise and ongoing management, which can lead to higher returns and peace of mind.

Tax Implications on Your Mutual Fund Returns
Understanding the tax rules on mutual fund gains is essential for maximising post-tax returns. Let’s break down the key taxation rules for equity and debt mutual funds.

Equity Funds:
Long-term capital gains (LTCG) over Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains (for holdings under one year) are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds:
Gains from debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income tax slab for both long-term and short-term investments.

Planning with tax efficiency in mind will help maximise your retirement corpus. A certified financial planner can guide you on strategies to manage taxes while achieving your goals.

Estimating Future Investment Amount
To achieve a retirement corpus of Rs 2 crores, it’s important to consider factors like inflation, expected returns, and your time horizon. Based on your goal, a certified financial planner can provide personalised investment projections. While mutual funds are known for long-term growth, regular monitoring and adjustments will keep your plan on track.

Final Insights
Your monthly SIP of Rs 70,000, spread across diversified funds, will create a strong foundation for your retirement corpus. With no debts and a secure foundation in fixed deposits, you are well-positioned for growth. By focusing on an actively managed and diversified portfolio, you can potentially outperform the market and meet your financial objectives.

Key Takeaways:

Stay invested in a diversified mix of large-cap, flexi-cap, mid-cap, and debt funds.

Avoid index and direct funds; regular, actively managed funds through a CFP provide strategic growth and management.

Monitor tax implications to maximise post-tax returns.

Consult with a certified financial planner for personalised advice and portfolio adjustments.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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