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Turning 31 and Never Been in a Relationship: Feeling Left Out and Unprepared for Marriage - Priyanka's Story

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |149 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Feb 26, 2025

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Respected ma'am I am Priyanka, looking for marriage from quite sometime now. Soon i am turning 31, parents are worried.. i have never been in a romantic relationship in my teens or 20s.. that's because I didn't want to go against my parents.. now most of my friends and juniors are getting married.. i feel left out.. i feel i am not getting the right guy for marriage.. i feel i may not be ready for a marital relationship, feel shy about it.. what to do, please advise and help

Ans: Hello Priyanka - Indian parents tend to worry if their child does not get married and more so as they enter in their 30s, so it is normal. The question here is - will you be ok to find your person or will go with what your parents want...this is something you need to respond to. Also how much do you know yourself - whilst you are saying you are not ready for marriage, you should know why not...you may like to schedule a 1:1 with me - google and you will know how.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hie I need an advice about marriage, I am 28 years old and wants to marry a guy who is younger than me, however earns good salary. Also we are from different caste. I am afraid of having conversation about this with my parents and also I am confused that how to have this conversation with my parents. He loves me a lot and always support me. Also i got engaged with different person (arranged marriage), however that person broke the engagement and now I wont be able to trust and give chance to a new person to come into my life.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why exactly did you get engaged with someone else when you say that you are in love with another person?
I don't get this...Have the conversation with you parents stating clearly what you want. Yes, your parents will and might oppose it for whatever reason, but if you and the boy are serious, then pursue it...
Then where is the question of a new person coming and your trusting etc. From your email/letter, one thing is clear to me is that: you have no idea what you want. You love someone and say that you want to marry him and then you go and get engaged to someone else and now you are wondering if you can trust someone new.
What is going on? What happens to your 'guy'? Are you serious about that relationship at all?
I think you really need to first sit and have a conversation with yourself and then talk to your parents, yeah?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Everyone, I'm 28M, IT employee, please do think from my perspective what am I about to ask. Since according to indian standards I'm already late for marriage. Now the thing is I've seen enough of failed marriages, not only in news but in own family and not everytime it was fault of the female part but I've seen good men struggling to handle themselves, few times their parents in jail. Thing is I won't be able to tolerate this kind of situation and I'm afraid of myself if I'm ever in this situation. My mother has sacrificed enough to put me through school and college and I do not wish to put her in any trouble because someone had a previous relationship which they are not able to forget or they don't like me then but get's married for the sake of it. I've never been in relationship and has been introvert throughout my life. Things that I've seen in my office and on news and at home have shaken my trust into anyone. A guy like me who use to trust anyone just because they say so is not struggling to even trust my own parents sometimes. Now please don't give me argument like not evey women is like this. I know but I just can't trust anyone and I've told this to my parents yet they insist on me being married. Everyone around me is just telling me how important it is to be married but I just can't. Since I'm only kid of my parents now my mum stopped talking to me a d I've given her my side yet she is pretty adamant on me getting married. Kindly let me know how should I proceed. Also I'm not interested even in being live in or having a girlfriend. I just don't know what to make of my life. So pretty confused, angry, frustrated and what not. Also my mother says that she'll have a thorough background check before taking things any further. I know how cute she is. She thinks everyone is as honest as her. Kindly guide me about how should I proceed since most of the people in my family is now not talking to me.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How have you managed to confuse yourself so much? You know how?
By reading into situations that have happened outside of you way too much. Yes, I will say this to you; not all women are the way you perceive.
If you got attacked by a cat, you will say...All cats are aggressive and dangerous. Is this true? Are all cats that way or just the one that you got attacked by?
In your case, you have only seen failed marriages and you have concluded as some universal truth that things will go bad and then you have gone to the extent of protecting your mother. Do you not see what rigid thinking can do? Confuse you, derail you, disillusion you...
If you wish to set things right, change the way that you are thinking of marriage, potential partners for marriage...focus on what can go right rather than on what can go wrong, will help you a lot in this.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Pushpa

Pushpa R  |63 Answers  |Ask -

Yoga, Mindfulness Expert - Answered on May 09, 2025

Health
what pranayams are there for tennis elbow problem. Also I regularly do 4 pranayams 8 minutes each (1. Kapal Bhati 2. Kumbhakam 3. Anulom Vilom 4. Bharamri) apart from brisk walk everyday for 30 minutes. Is that Ok for me or do I need to increase,I'm 49 years of age with no medical problems.
Ans: It’s wonderful to know that you are consistent with pranayama and walking. Your routine is already very good for maintaining overall health, especially at 49. Since you have no major medical conditions and are practicing regularly, it seems you're on the right path.

Regarding Tennis Elbow:
Tennis elbow is caused by overuse of forearm muscles. While pranayama won’t directly treat the elbow, it reduces inflammation, stress, and improves circulation, which helps in healing.

There are no specific pranayamas just for tennis elbow, but the ones you are doing are quite effective in supporting your healing naturally.

Your Current Routine Review:
Kapalbhati (8 mins) – Energizing and good for metabolism.

Kumbhakam (8 mins) – Helps in breath control and mental focus.

Anulom Vilom (8 mins) – Balances your nervous system.

Bhramari (8 mins) – Deeply calming.

Brisk walk (30 mins) – Excellent for heart and joint health.

This routine is balanced and sufficient. You don’t need to increase anything unless you feel mentally or physically low. For your elbow, also consider gentle wrist and forearm stretches, and consult a physiotherapist if pain persists.

Keep up your regular practice under guidance if needed, and always listen to your body.

R. Pushpa, M.Sc (Yoga)
Online Yoga & Meditation Coach
Radiant YogaVibes
https://www.instagram.com/pushpa_radiantyogavibes/

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8326 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2025
Money
Sir, what are the alternative investments, ( without buying or constructing a house) for a minimum period of 3 to 5 years?. Sir i am 71 years old, with heart and arthritis ailments. So I cannot put in any more physical efforts to buy/construct any house. Pl.guide me. Sir,if you consider and reply in a shortwhile will beof much helpful. Thank you.
Ans: At 71 years of age, with health concerns, it's crucial to focus on investments that are safe, require minimal physical effort, and align with your 3 to 5-year investment horizon. Below, I have outlined various investment options tailored to your needs, ensuring a comprehensive 360-degree perspective.

1. Government-Backed Schemes
Senior Citizens Savings Scheme (SCSS)

This scheme is designed only for senior citizens above 60 years.

It offers assured interest with quarterly payouts.

The investment duration is 5 years. It can be extended by 3 years.

The maximum amount you can invest is Rs. 30 lakhs.

It gives tax deduction under Section 80C.

Premature exit is allowed but with a small penalty.

The returns are safe as this is a government-backed scheme.

This scheme is highly suited for your need of steady income.

Post Office Monthly Income Scheme (POMIS)

This is another safe option for generating regular income.

Interest is paid monthly and the rate is fixed by the government.

You can invest up to Rs. 9 lakhs in a single account.

Joint account can hold up to Rs. 15 lakhs.

Tenure is fixed at 5 years.

It offers capital protection with low risk.

You get fixed income but there is no tax benefit.

It is easy to open and operate at your nearby post office.

2. Bank Fixed Deposits (FDs) for Senior Citizens
These deposits are safe and easy to understand.

Senior citizens get extra interest than general public.

You can choose tenure between 1 year and 5 years.

Interest can be paid monthly, quarterly, or on maturity.

Most banks offer special FD schemes for senior citizens.

Your capital is insured up to Rs. 5 lakhs per bank.

Breakable FDs offer flexibility if funds are needed early.

Laddering FDs helps manage cash flow better over time.

3. Debt Mutual Funds
These funds invest in safe instruments like bonds and securities.

They are managed by expert fund managers.

You get better returns than savings accounts or FDs.

Ideal if you want moderate returns with low risk.

Can be held for 3 to 5 years for better stability.

You can withdraw partially or fully at any time.

Taxation depends on your income slab.

For short-term and long-term, gains are taxed as per slab.

Choose funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor who is a Certified Financial Planner.

Avoid direct mutual funds. Regular plans through a trusted CFP give guidance.

Regular plans also help with tracking and rebalancing.

These funds suit conservative investors like yourself.

4. Hybrid Mutual Funds
These invest in a mix of equity and debt instruments.

They balance safety and growth better than pure equity funds.

Suitable for moderate risk appetite and medium-term goals.

They offer higher potential returns than debt mutual funds.

You can use Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) for monthly income.

You withdraw a fixed amount every month as income.

Remaining investment continues to grow.

Better than bank interest in most years.

These are managed by experienced fund managers.

You get professional management and risk balancing.

They suit your 3 to 5-year investment horizon well.

5. Tax-Free Bonds
These are issued by government-backed companies.

Interest earned is fully exempt from income tax.

They offer fixed income for long periods.

Tenure is usually 10 to 20 years.

But they can be sold in the secondary market anytime.

There is no TDS on the interest received.

Capital remains protected if held till maturity.

Useful for generating tax-free income.

Liquidity may be limited, so invest part only.

Ideal for people in higher tax slabs.

6. Public Provident Fund (PPF)
PPF is a long-term savings option with tax benefits.

Though the tenure is 15 years, you can withdraw after 5 years.

Partial withdrawals are allowed from sixth year onwards.

Interest earned is tax-free.

Investment up to Rs. 1.5 lakhs per year is allowed.

Investment also gives tax deduction under Section 80C.

Since you are already 71, limit the amount you put here.

Use PPF only if you have surplus funds with long-term view.

7. Health Insurance
Health expenses can disturb your retirement savings.

A proper health policy gives peace of mind.

Make sure your plan covers pre-existing diseases.

Select a plan with low waiting periods.

Top-up plans can help increase your coverage.

Premium paid gives tax benefit under Section 80D.

Renew your health plan before expiry every year.

Do not delay or skip health insurance.

Health is your most important financial asset now.

8. Emergency Fund
Keep a separate fund for emergencies.

It should cover at least 6 months of expenses.

Keep this in savings or liquid mutual fund.

Avoid using this fund for investments.

This fund helps during medical or family needs.

Having this buffer keeps you financially stress-free.

9. Avoid Complex or Risky Investments
Avoid real estate, especially construction or buying property.

At this age, physical and legal efforts must be avoided.

Do not go for products that lock your funds.

Avoid insurance-linked investment plans like ULIPs.

These give poor returns and are not flexible.

Do not invest in shares directly.

Direct equity needs monitoring and risk taking.

Do not use index funds.

Index funds blindly copy the market.

They don’t protect capital in falling markets.

Actively managed funds are better.

Fund managers can exit bad stocks and reduce loss.

Index funds lack human decision-making.

In volatile times, this can be harmful.

10. Taxation Awareness
Interest from SCSS and FDs is taxable as per your slab.

Debt mutual fund gains are taxed as per slab.

Equity fund gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term equity gains are taxed at 20%.

Keep these in mind while planning redemptions.

Withdraw funds in parts to manage tax better.

Consult a Certified Financial Planner for personalised tax advice.

11. Role of Certified Financial Planner (CFP)
A CFP is qualified and regulated to give financial advice.

They help in goal planning and risk management.

They review your current holdings and guide on changes.

CFPs don’t push products. They suggest based on your goals.

You can invest through them using regular mutual funds.

They handle paperwork, tracking, and rebalancing.

Their fee is included in mutual fund expenses.

They act as a long-term guide in your financial journey.

Especially helpful at your age when decisions must be safe.

Select only CFPs who are registered and experienced.

12. Avoid Annuities
Annuities give very low returns.

They lock your money and lack flexibility.

Payouts are taxable in your hands.

You lose control over your capital.

Not suitable at your life stage.

Safer alternatives with better liquidity are available.

SCSS or Hybrid Funds are more beneficial.

13. Review of Existing Policies
If you hold old LIC or ULIP plans, please review them.

These plans often give low returns.

Check surrender value and consider exiting.

Reinvest the amount into better options.

Use mutual funds for flexibility and higher growth.

Take help of a Certified Financial Planner for this.

Finally
Your investment needs are clear.

You want safety, income, and peace of mind.

You do not want physical involvement or stress.

You want your money to work silently and reliably.

That is exactly what the above options offer.

They protect your capital and generate steady returns.

They are flexible and easily accessible.

They need no physical effort or frequent monitoring.

At your stage, financial peace matters most.

Not chasing high returns, but getting consistent income.

You have taken the right step by seeking advice.

Now, implement these options gradually.

Start with a basic allocation. Review it every year.

Focus on health, simplicity, and financial security.

Let your money bring comfort, not worry.

Wishing you a financially safe and relaxed retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1215 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on May 08, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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