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Turning 31 and Never Been in a Relationship: Feeling Left Out and Unprepared for Marriage - Priyanka's Story

Shalini Singh |173 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Feb 26, 2025

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Respected ma'am I am Priyanka, looking for marriage from quite sometime now. Soon i am turning 31, parents are worried.. i have never been in a romantic relationship in my teens or 20s.. that's because I didn't want to go against my parents.. now most of my friends and juniors are getting married.. i feel left out.. i feel i am not getting the right guy for marriage.. i feel i may not be ready for a marital relationship, feel shy about it.. what to do, please advise and help

Ans: Hello Priyanka - Indian parents tend to worry if their child does not get married and more so as they enter in their 30s, so it is normal. The question here is - will you be ok to find your person or will go with what your parents want...this is something you need to respond to. Also how much do you know yourself - whilst you are saying you are not ready for marriage, you should know why not...you may like to schedule a 1:1 with me - google and you will know how.

RelationshipReply

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Anu Krishna |1729 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 14, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Dear Mam, Kindly note that i am a 39 yrs old guy who is not married yet. The reason behind me not getting married are basically coz i m unable to get a match at my age and none of proposals that i have seen so far, none of dem have turn positive. Now i feel like even though i want to get married, i ll end up alone in life coz at 39 i feel i will not get any match. I am very scared to living the rest of life alone.So mam i want you to help me out ways to live life alone. How to cope up with peers, relatives and colleagues pressure to get married?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address your concerns:
1. "I want to get married or I'll end up alone.": This is not a reason to get married and you know that. Get married to build a team, a family together where you help each other grow. Incidentally, you also have a companion and lonely days instead become days filled with happy cheer and sometimes challenges as well. So, change your mindset while looking for prospects for marriage so that when you are in conversation with someone who is a match, you don't come across needy but instead focus on how the two of you grow together.
Your fear is right now pulling you into marriage rather than for more positive reasons.

2. Pressure from relatives and peers: Is it their life that you are leading? NO! Then stop focusing on what they tell you and focus on how you can make the best use of matrimonial sites or dating apps (if you choose that). Also, request your friends to set you up with someone that they might know since they know you well.

You can also join groups and communities online (beware of scams and scamsters here) where you might find like-minded people to meet and interact with. Being part of some hobby class or adventure camps may also allow for similar meeting points where you can hit it off with people who hold similar interests as yours.

Lastly, don't give up...when the time is right, it is...So, don't lose hope BUT certainly lose your current fearful mindset and embrace a mindset that is joyful and cheerful and selfless.

All the best!

Anu Krishna |1729 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 09, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hie I need an advice about marriage, I am 28 years old and wants to marry a guy who is younger than me, however earns good salary. Also we are from different caste. I am afraid of having conversation about this with my parents and also I am confused that how to have this conversation with my parents. He loves me a lot and always support me. Also i got engaged with different person (arranged marriage), however that person broke the engagement and now I wont be able to trust and give chance to a new person to come into my life.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Why exactly did you get engaged with someone else when you say that you are in love with another person?
I don't get this...Have the conversation with you parents stating clearly what you want. Yes, your parents will and might oppose it for whatever reason, but if you and the boy are serious, then pursue it...
Then where is the question of a new person coming and your trusting etc. From your email/letter, one thing is clear to me is that: you have no idea what you want. You love someone and say that you want to marry him and then you go and get engaged to someone else and now you are wondering if you can trust someone new.
What is going on? What happens to your 'guy'? Are you serious about that relationship at all?
I think you really need to first sit and have a conversation with yourself and then talk to your parents, yeah?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1729 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024

Relationship

Hi, I am a 48 year old unmarried woman. I stay with my parents and we 3 enjoy our life in our own way. I have 2 married elder sisters and share a loving relation with them. In short I am blessed with a loving and supportive family. But at times I miss having a man in my life. We have tried so hard but nothing materialised on the marriage front.All men in my age group either married or divorced with kids. Do u think its ok to get married if I find someone whom I like. Sometimes I feel i should atleast date someone and if marriage is to happen it will. I am single for a very long time. I am grateful to God for all the good things I have in my life. How to find someone no clue. Have tried thru matrimony no success. Not interested in any dating app. Nor interested in casual dating with a younger guy. I need someone of my age or elder. Pls advise. Thanks..

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Of course, you must date someone if that's what you want and it's possible by entering the right social circles. Something that interests you can be a point of meeting; gym, sports, music groups, dance groups, theater groups...the list is long...
It just takes that little effort to join one of these and meet a few like-minded people who are not just into casual dating but are interested in pursuing a connection with you...So, give it a shot!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ravi Mittal |673 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 21, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi, I am 34 F , whenever topic of marriage comes, I get panic irrespective of the thing what situation I am in, good bad favourable or unfavorable What is better to take charge of finding husband for you or just let parents find one In any case the one who has to deal will be me. Just in first I will be fully responsible.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Marriage is indeed a significant decision and it can be scary to many people. First of all, I want you to understand that you are not alone. Coming to your next question, see there are advantages to both methods- on the one hand, if you find your own partner, you can pick a more compatible person. Whereas, parents have better judgment, most of the time. So, why don't you try a mix of both? For instance, you can create a profile on a dating app and find yourself someone compatible from there. It doesn't immediately have to be for marriage. You can simply get to know each other first and then move things forward. The way to make sure that you find someone who would be interested in marriage is to mention that in your bio- "seeking a connection that can lead to marriage." Once you think you both are ready to talk marriage, you take it to your parents and let them use their years of experience to double-check if the connection is worth pursuing.
Hope this helps.

Anu Krishna |1729 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 17, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Hi Everyone, I'm 28M, IT employee, please do think from my perspective what am I about to ask. Since according to indian standards I'm already late for marriage. Now the thing is I've seen enough of failed marriages, not only in news but in own family and not everytime it was fault of the female part but I've seen good men struggling to handle themselves, few times their parents in jail. Thing is I won't be able to tolerate this kind of situation and I'm afraid of myself if I'm ever in this situation. My mother has sacrificed enough to put me through school and college and I do not wish to put her in any trouble because someone had a previous relationship which they are not able to forget or they don't like me then but get's married for the sake of it. I've never been in relationship and has been introvert throughout my life. Things that I've seen in my office and on news and at home have shaken my trust into anyone. A guy like me who use to trust anyone just because they say so is not struggling to even trust my own parents sometimes. Now please don't give me argument like not evey women is like this. I know but I just can't trust anyone and I've told this to my parents yet they insist on me being married. Everyone around me is just telling me how important it is to be married but I just can't. Since I'm only kid of my parents now my mum stopped talking to me a d I've given her my side yet she is pretty adamant on me getting married. Kindly let me know how should I proceed. Also I'm not interested even in being live in or having a girlfriend. I just don't know what to make of my life. So pretty confused, angry, frustrated and what not. Also my mother says that she'll have a thorough background check before taking things any further. I know how cute she is. She thinks everyone is as honest as her. Kindly guide me about how should I proceed since most of the people in my family is now not talking to me.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How have you managed to confuse yourself so much? You know how?
By reading into situations that have happened outside of you way too much. Yes, I will say this to you; not all women are the way you perceive.
If you got attacked by a cat, you will say...All cats are aggressive and dangerous. Is this true? Are all cats that way or just the one that you got attacked by?
In your case, you have only seen failed marriages and you have concluded as some universal truth that things will go bad and then you have gone to the extent of protecting your mother. Do you not see what rigid thinking can do? Confuse you, derail you, disillusion you...
If you wish to set things right, change the way that you are thinking of marriage, potential partners for marriage...focus on what can go right rather than on what can go wrong, will help you a lot in this.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Latest Questions

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 15, 2025Hindi

Money

Sir, I have taken a Baaj Life Allianz POS Goal surksha of annual premium of 2 lakh .I have completed 2 annual premium. Now I don't want to continue further this policy as I came to know that this policy has approx 4 % return. Initial the agent said to me you can at any time discontinue this policy and refund your full money but now he refused and saying that you only get 30 % of your paid money. Suggest some solution to this problem.

Ans: Hi,

I am sorry but this is how these policies work. Your money is locked and will not get full amount back.

Every agent make false promises in the start to earn their big commission in first month. These policies give maximum 4% yearly return.

You can ask the customer care if you will get back more % after paying 3 premiums. Generally surrendering after 3 premiums gives back almost 80% of the premium paid. But do not continue for another 8 years.

Let me know what will you get back if you pay your 3rd premium. Will guide you based on that.

In future, go for mutual funds for long term. You will easily get 14% annual return.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by Mahesh - Oct 22, 2025Hindi

Money

My salary is 80k per month, how can you invest money for better future

Ans: Hi Mahesh,

Please share other details such as your age, expenses, other investments and financial goals for me to help you.
No sole guidance can be done only on your income details. But you can save the maximum that you can and invest it in mutual funds for long term.

Also make sure to have a dedicated emergency fund as well as proper healthand life insurance for yourself and family for any uncertain situations.

share your other details and I shall be able to guide you.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by Udit - Oct 27, 2025Hindi

Money

how to close ppf account before time

Ans: Hi Udit,

You cannot close a PPF account before time. It has to be there for 15 years. Although you can withdraw a certain amount but there is no option for pre-closure of the account.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by abu - Oct 22, 2025Hindi

Money

I have some doubt, last year I parked 25K in FD with interest rate of 7.30% maturity amount they said I will get 27280 , but on maturity I received only 26569. Bank detected 711 as a tax almost 31% on profit. this high tax they will detect?

Ans: Hi Abu,

You must be under 30% tax bracket and hence this deduction. This interest will be taxable if you come under any tax slab as per your slab rate.
But of you don't earn anything, can claim back this tax paid in ITR filing. Or next time, prefill a form 15G/H for tax exemtion.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by Sriram - Oct 22, 2025Hindi

Money

Good afternoon, pls suggest best funds to invest. Proposed sum Rs. 35,000 per month for a period of 3 years. I am 51 years old. My current investment are in land and buildings with limited exposure to share and mutual funds.

Ans: Hi Sriram,

Good for you to consider diversifying your invvestments at the age of 51.
If you want to invest for 3 years, can choose a mix of debt and balanced funds to invest per month. This wil come with less risk and better returns than other investment options.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by Raghavendra - Oct 23, 2025Hindi

Money

I have made investments in 10 year ULIP which is maturing shortly. I have been showing the income as capital gain as per the statement submitted by UTI for the last few years. Now upon maturity of this ULIP am I liable to pay Tax .

Ans: Hi Raghavendra,

Please share the exact ULIP and premiums paid. As tax paid depends on the premium and sum assured as well. Usually ULIPS have a lot of hidden fees which brings your returns down. In future, refrain from buying any policy such as your current one and directly go for mutual funds for any long term investment.
Share details of your policy for me to guide you better.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by Satyaballav - Oct 14, 2025Hindi

Money

Dear Sir, can you suggest good MFs for SIP or one time investment for a period of 3 to 4 years for a better return considering the current market scenario. After seeing your answer for SBI Life Smart Privilege Plus I am not investing there.

Ans: Hi Satyaballav,

Any policy should not be considered for investment. You already must have gotten clarity about SBI Life Smart Privilege Plus plan.
If you want to do any SIP or lumpsum, you can consider a mix of debt and balacned funds for a time horizon of 3 to 4 years. Again, it depends on the goal for which you want to invest.
You can reply to this answer and I will guide you with exact plan for your investment.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by Mani - Oct 27, 2025Hindi

Money

I am 31, teetotaler, with no bad habits, bachelor, leading celibacy, no chronical ailment, minimalist, investing in various schemes of mutual from the age of 18, now my investment is Rs. 50 lacs, with SIP of Rs. 15K every month in equity funds, and 40 lacs medical insurance 1.5Cr term insurance. Insurance premia are taken care by dividend from equity shares. My average annual expenses at present is Rs.5 lacs. Please guide me at what age should I give up the job and submit my resignation from MNC job, and retire, where I have no dependants nor depending on any one. Please guide me and advise.

Ans: Hi Mani,

You are one of the rare example of someone who is a long term investor and have build quite a good corpus through all these years.
Let us have a look at what can be done:
1. Insurance - you are well covered. Even premiums are being taken care of using dividends.
2. Emergency fund - build a dedicsted fund of minimu 10 lakhs in liquid funds for any emergency situation.
3. Mutual funds - a SIP of 15k has built you a corpus of 50 lakhs in 13 years which is great. You should also focus on increasing your investments to the maximum capacity whenever possible.
4. You are a bachelor and want to retire. But you also have to plan if ou want to get married. Getting married will change the entire plan. You will need funds to get marry, start family, kid's education and marriage. All these things should also be considered before making any decision.
5. Your current expenses of 5lakhs will double easily on getting married, so your resignation and retirement depends on this plan as well.

Hence my suggestion would be to focus on increasing income for now and you are too young to consider leaving your job. Plan your future goals and then take this decision collectively.

Also as your MF portfolio crosses 50 lakhs, would suggest you to consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Question by Sanjay - Oct 25, 2025Hindi

Money

Hello Sir, Is Gullak app a good option for investing in Gold? I have taken SIP of Gold ETFs and investing around 5.5k monthly. Now want to raise my investments in gold. Is it good to invest thru Gullak?

Ans: Hi Sanjay,

I understand that many apps such as Gullak is quite famous amongst everyone fro quick gold investments. Apps like these provide a quick and effortless investment solution to everyone who wants to go to digital gold.
But I do not recommend this. these apps comes with hidden charges in the form of 3% gst when you buy and some deductions as well when you will sell. Overall not much beneficial if you want to invest in Gold.
Gold etf, by far, is the best way tto invest in digital gold as its appreciation is wrt to the gold price in actual. It doesn't have any hidden or extra cost. Go for it without thinking again. Monthly SIP in gold etf is the best way to take the benefit of market volatility.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

Reetika Sharma |333 Answers |Ask -Follow

Financial Planner, MF and Insurance Expert - Answered on Nov 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 18, 2025Hindi

Money

Hello. I'm 41yr old woman have 2 kids age 13 and 7. I own 3bhk duplex house in Bangalore. My monthly income comes upto 60k per month. I have invested 45lakhs in bhive workspace company and getting returns of 64k per month. I have also invested in 5 autos tie-up with rapid and earning 75k returns on tht. I have invested 12 lakhs in motilal Oswal midcap elss fund. Now I'm getting 1cr from my parents property share. Where should I invest for good returns and safe investment for future wealth? And I also love traveling so need to save some money for future for my health and my desire to fulfill. Plz guide me wisely.

Ans: Hi,

You have done great investments with some companies and aree earning out of it. This is the best form of diversification.
I understand, you have your house, monthly income from salary and your investments.
To further diversify the 1 crore that you are getting, can consider investing in a mix of equity oriented and balanced mutual funds. Your current investment in the Oswal midcap ELSS doesn't seem good. Even this can be shifted to a much better fund suited to your requirements wrt your risk appetite.

You can work with a professional advisor who will guide you with exact fund names to invest your 1 crore and also redirect 12 lakhs from elss fund to another fund.

Your goal of travelling can be done using a portion of 15% from 1 crore that you will get. This amount will be invested in debt and small cap funds and you can do a sWP from this amount to fulfil your travel goal.

Regarding health, first make sure to have a dedicated health insurance for yourself and family with a cover of minimum 25 lakhs. And have an emergency fund of around 10-15 lakhs. This would be sufficient to take care of this.

Lastly, refrain from doing investments based on any random tips in mutual funds as any wrong fund selection can hamper the growth of your portfolio.
Hence consult a professional Certified Financial Planner - a CFP who can guide you with exact funds to invest in keeping in mind your age, requirements, financial goals and risk profile.

Let me know if you need more help.

Best Regards,
Reetika Sharma, Certified Financial Planner
https://www.instagram.com/cfpreetika/

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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