Should I Compromise on Romance for a Marriage?

Hi I am a 35-year-old woman and my husband is 45. we are made for each other couple. we love each other and we do not have any compatibility issues except in romance. he is not very romantic and even throughout my younger years I was also not very romantic and immersed myself in studies and career. He is not very active in sex also. A few years back I told him that I wanted to be romantic after marriage and now we are not, so I missed my college and early office days when I was in my prime and could have been romantically involved with guys. Since I look very young even at 35, he suggested that I still can move around with guys and get romantic and I need not miss anything even now. though initially declining the offer, I moved a little freely toward men, mostly colleagues, and a few social club members. I encouraged late-night messages, coffee meets, movies, etc. I update my husband on every single event that happens. ex, if I went to a movie with a colleague, I will message my hubby " We kissed", if that happened. he encourages me so much and is happy with whatever is happening, cutting a long story short. though I didn't think it would go so far, I am now romantically very active. soft romance-like messages I do with many. Dating I don't say no to my known circle like colleagues, ex-colleagues, college mates, etc and almost 2-3 times a week I end up dating someone in a coffee shop, pub, or a long drive. A few times I initiate a date too. and I must confess that I have regular intimacy with four young men, all from the same office where I work. I have never hidden anything from my hubby and give a complete account every day. I offered to stop everything any moment he said. but he told me till age is there enjoy life!. I am emotionally connected to my husband only and I do all my responsibilities as a woman. Our relationship has grown manifold. My only question is, am I exploiting my husband's innocence or does he have a cuckold fantasy? If I continue the way I continue with no harm to anyone, can I keep doing it ( I love to). or I should stop at once?

Hello. I am dating someone from almost 4 years. During those years, our relationship has grown to the extent that we know we are pretty much compatible in aspects such as values, friendship, vulnerability, understanding and support. But one or two factors have always been a hurdle in commitment for a marriage which he himself consider as superficial but is not able to completely let go of. So, he suggests that we can compromise on those factors, and focus on other positives. The problem is that he feels that we don't have that romantic spark and chemistry which he had imagined. But he is ready to settle on that, and thus, I also shouldn't expect his 100 percent response in romance. I don't know how to take this statement. I never felt that missing part; I never asked for grand romantic gestures. I did complain sometimes about basic expressions of romance. I feel his approach as if it is some sort of calculation with no instinctive feeling. And how do I not take this comment as personal.

He has this strong affinity towards some personality traits.. for example fluency and frequency in spoken English. I prefer talking in Hindi most of the time as I feel more comfortable in it conveying my feelings. Thats one part. Secondly, he feels that I don't let go of my inhibitions to freely enjoy..be it dance or singing. I am shy. Its not that I am all closed. Now he feels that it was wrong on his part to try to change someone and he is ready to make peace with it. But in response to that, I should also not expect the full expression of romance from him because his ability to do so comes naturally from the part he is ready to compromise.

Hello Ravi. Im a 33 year old female, in search of life partner. Through matrimony groups I was shared a contact of a guy and we spoke over call. Initially there was interest from both ends we messaged each other and asked for calls. As we came to know about each other, he is more of an extrovert, enjoys socializing ,consumes alcohol etc. Although Im exposed to cosmopolitan culture I come from a more disciplined/simple/traditional upbringing. Not orthodox but would have preferred someone without those habits. I did not judge him based on his habits, I clearly told that we may try to give each other a chance and I do consider all the other good things in him like being ambitious, attached to his family, independent, cooks for himself , has a good routine, a person who enjoys life and seemed like a happy and cheerful guy. But he kind of judged me for expressing that I looked at alcohol as not a very good habit etc . He had past relationships and asked my opinion on continuing with them as friends, again I said that its past so if he is over it and doesn't let it hamper his future I wouldn't look at it negatively. Although seems like he even had physical relations I dint dig deep or asked any questions. I felt like I did give it a shot and wanted to take a chance bcoz of few good aspects considering we both are of similar backgrounds (the way we were exposed to mixed cultures etc growing up), have satisfied each others non negotiables , have same opinions on joint family, kids etc. He also expressed dilemma over being in different cities cant get to know each other etc and I was like we can meet if we wish to and if we want to take it forward, its not an impossible task. The last time we spoke he said he needs time and he wasnt sure, also suggested that we speak to other people as well. now its been 2 months and neither of us contacted each other. I assumed as he asked for time if he was interested he would get back, he even was seeing all my WA status updates until some time back. So I dint contact, also even while we were talking most of the times it was me initiating msgs asking for call etc. He even acknowledged the same that Im putting efforts and he is unsure etc . So should I really contact him now and check what he though or have self respect and ignore thinking that he is not interested (which looks like the case as he dint contact in 2months). The problem is Im also finding very difficult to find right guys and I feel in certain aspects he is good and should I really give it a chance and try from my side ? Parents are not involved as seems entire decision is of the guy. Im not on dating apps etc, never been in relationship and only looking for a person who can commit and Im in no space to do trial and error or want to get into online dating at this point of time because Im an emotional person and attaching-detaching is not easy for me. I guess Im attached to this person also somewhere and constantly thinking if I should msg or ignore. I was open to talk to others and see but unfortunately nothing worked out and dint get to talk to anyone else in this time. Please advise me, these thoughts are eating me up.

Hi Mam, I would like to stay anonymous. Im 27F, recently got engaged and my wedding is in 5 months from now. This match is arranged by my parents within our community. Initially things went well, but after the engagement when we went outside for dinner he was speaking well but before leaving he said this is a suggestion from my end and told that there is slight space between my two teeth in the front and while smiling it creates black image in the photos. So it would be best if i would use invisible aligners so that before wedding it would be fixed adding to this he said he will take care of the expenses and he said he had this thought for a week so its better to disclose it with me. He also said that he didn't tell this to his parents he wanted to check my thoughts on this first, also he said he wanted myself to look very very pretty on the wedding and his relatives should say "Wow, we have never seen such a pretty bride", also he commented about my hair being short actually its medium length but i like to keep my hair short. I really got frustrated when he said all those things this got me very irritated. I didn't speak much, i said i wanted to leave and he dropped me at my place. The next day i asked him if we can meet again to get clarification on this thing, when i asked him the next day about this he said "its just a suggestion if you can take it its fine or you can leave it its upto you". He never accepted that he hurted me or made a wrong statement he kept on saying he didn't mean that way i took it very personally and im creating unnecessary ruckus. at last he said i could have said things differently but he didn't ask for sorry at all. I thought he wont talk about my features again but then after a week he again asked me you were eating outside food for a week you should have gained weight(trying to be funny here), i said no. Because him and his mother already asked about my weight like "why are you so thin? you could have put up some weight know"? I have been in this weight for many years, how much ever i eat my weight remains the same its because of the genetics. But people dont understand this and easily ask some body shaming questions. After this event he is not talking like before and even i dont push him, one of my friend asked me to take initiative and make calls to stop this awkward situation and i took lead called him four times in a week he spoke but he didn't bothered to call me again he was only texting after that too im okay with that but still i feel he might ask me to make changes in my feature, weight etc before the wedding. Im not sure how to deal with this.