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29-Year-Old Man Worries if Avoiding Relationships Will Hurt His Marriage Prospects

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |187 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Sep 01, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Aug 31, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am 29 years old man. My concern is related to love. I have never really been in a relationship. I'm not sure how much success I would have had if I even would have tried. I have been complemented by women saying that they find me attractive. But didn't go beyond that and I never really pursued it beyond that. The reason being I never wanted to risk being emotionally attached to someone who wouldn't necessarily be there for me in the long term. That's why I never pursued a relationship. I'm not socially awkward or easily get anxious. I used to think that it is better if I wait for marriage as well. But given the times I'm made to feel like that is now considered a 'red flag' these days. I just wanted to know if this would hurt my marriage prospects. I do believe in women having an equal opinion in the relationship. I don't hold any opinions that could be considered misogynistic or sexist. But I just wish to know is it really a red flag and if it is what do I do to tackle the same

Ans: Are you asking if not being in a relationship will hurt your marriage prospects? Being in a relationship is a personal choice and you can be in one at any age before you marry - highly recommended to be friends with the person you decide to marry. all the best

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |720 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 02, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 01, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi,i am a 28 year old woman being at crossroads when it comes to relationships. I am one of the unluckiest souls in this universe.An old school romantic being following the philosophy of one man woman.My love life consists of numerous one sided loves,crushes,2 three year old failed long distance relationships and terminating one potential long term romance(this was also long distance)See,I would want to be in a loving and long term relationship resulting in marriage.I guess i have always dated to marry. But unfortunately, my search for that one true love is still not coming to an end. I don’t know where am i going wrong? Am i asking for too much? Because the moment i said yes or responded to their advances ,they would become way too busy and i become an option. Before i say yes,they would always court me. I have to initiate the conversations every single time. As i result i stopped looking for love and start working on myself. I don't mind being single forever and skip marriage.I know there's something wrong in my apporach. Just tell me where am i going wrong?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

There's nothing wrong with your approach but I want to share a piece of advice that might help you in your dating journey. Instead of approaching relationships with the sole intention of finding a life partner, consider dating for the sake of love and happiness. Not every person you meet will be your soulmate, and that's perfectly okay. Sometimes, we need to experience a few heartbreaks and failed relationships before finding the right one. I appreciate that you have started focusing on yourself, but that does not mean you have to stop looking for a companion. Both are not mutually exclusive. And it's sad but some men indeed lose their interest in a woman as soon as the "chase" is over. But the good news is, it is only some men, not all.

I say stop looking for a man to settle down with because that might lead to compromises to make the relationship work. Instead, find a man who makes you happy. Enjoy the process of dating and evaluate the individual based on genuine compatibility and shared happiness.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |720 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hey love Gurus I am 24 year old male. Well educated and decent looking. But i have never had a girlfriend not had i ever kissed a girl. I have also never bothered much on this until my 20 year of age. But now for past year or 2 it has started haunting me a bit because I am scared of what would happen when i get married. I don't have any sort of experience and this scares me. I know it's too early to think of marriage but still I feel low when this topic comes to my mind. Please guide me. I really need a good advice Is it that I am thinking too much?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It's totally normal to feel anxious about the future and any relationship to come your way in the future. Here are some advice-

• Be kind to yourself. You are not alone in this. Not everyone moves at the same pace. Some start dating early, some start late. Some have more experience than others. But everyone has to face firsts. While it is natural to feel anxious, with the right partner and at the right timeline, things often tend to work out better than we imagine.
• Focus on building confidence. You are more than your dating experience. Pursue a hobby, socialize, work on developing new skills, work to improve your body and mind. Everything in turn will increase your confidence level.
• Educate yourself. You can read books on anxiety or if you have a clear idea of what about a relationship or what about marriage is making you conscious, you can educate yourself on that part. What is known to us, rarely makes us feel anxious. We mostly fear the unknown.
• For your future first relationship- take it slow. Communicate. What you are comfortable with, what you aren't, communicate everything.
• If your anxiety is interfering with your day-to-day activity, I recommend seeing a professional. It's still early and nipped in the bud, this anxiety will lead to nothing serious. But if you let it take root, it might be more difficult to manage.

Understand that it is okay where you are. Also, as you mentioned, you are too young to worry about it. But since you are already worrying, I am glad that you seeked help.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |720 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 07, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I am 32 year old male. I have contentment in all major aspects of life such as job, money, friends, family, fun etc. But everytime I try to bring a girl into my life everything just turns in to chaos. There is a lot of pressure from from family, friends and almost everyone that I know for me to get married. But I cannot accept just anyone in my life through matrimony sites or references. I am afraid that the hard work that I have put in all these years to make my life comfortable will be shaken up by marriage. I cannot choose people by their attributes but have to just develop a liking for them. Similarly I have no interest in how a girl looks, what job she does or any material aspects. I am happy with someone who choses me completely and is committed to me. Unfortunately I couldn't find anyone such and I am in the phase of saying no to marriage completely as life is good as it is. I had a girlfriend when I was 25 and she left me after 5 years of relationship because her parents did not accept which I respected. Could connect with anyone else until this year who also left me after an year because her parents will not agree as my parents are not rich enough. I cannot connect with anyone else physically or emotionally. I think it's injustice to the woman I marry if I marry her just for the sake of society. I am completely confused, could you please share your expertise on this. Thanks in advance!
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It's amazing how you are putting other people's needs over yours. That's very selfless of you. If you don't feel you are ready to commit, there is no rush; no matter what people say. I understand that societal pressure can be very tough, but as you said, being in an incompatible relationship will be tougher on both you and the woman. All I can say here is wait. You are content with your life, and that is more than most people have. Focus on that. Make it even better. If and when the time is right, you will meet someone, and things will fall into place. It might sound cliche, but trust me, this is the best thing to do. Again, I repeat, do not give in to peer pressure. No good things can come out of it.

Best Wishes.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |720 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 07, 2024
Relationship
I (27M) am well Educated & well settled in a High-paying Job. Tall, Handsome & Fit. I am a Sociable & Outgoing person, but I never had a Girlfriend because I believe in having an Arranged Marriage with a Girl from the same Community, who's Family background is known to Parents. I strongly believe in abstaining from any kind of Sexual Intimacy until I get Married, due to my Personal, Moral, Ethical, Emotional as well as Religious & Socio-cultural Values. I'd want to experience even my First Kiss, only after getting Married to my Life Partner. And obviously, I expect my Future Life Partner also to Share similar Values. I cannot settle for Marriage with a Girl who had Pre-marital Sex (or even Kissed) anyone else in a Romantic Relationship, prior to Marriage. I would Reject such a Girl, however Beautiful, Well-Educated & Well-Earning she might be (all other Qualities being Subjective). Now, my Family has started looking up suitable Brides for me, within my Community. The Problem is that most Girls of our Community, in this Generation, are Well Educated & Financially Independent, staying in Cities, away from Parents & most of them, probably had Romantic Relationship(s) & experienced Physical Intimacy, at any Base Level. I know this by closely observing & discussing with many Girls of my Community (including my Female Cousins, Female Friends & Neighbours etc). They all are ridiculing me for my Preferences & advising me to forsake my Values, as they are Outdated in this Age. Now, I am Worried that I might never get to Marry a Girl who shares my Values. My greatest Fear is not ending up Unmarried, but getting Married to a Woman who lies about her Past (I consider it as Cheating). Can you please advise me on, how can I be absolutely Sure that a Girl is an Un-Kissed Virgin? How do I bring up this topic with any Girl before Marriage & ask her, without coming off as Creepy? How can I be Sure whether the Girl is being absolutely Honest about her Past or not? What are some other ways to find out about the Past of a Girl, apart from having an open conversation with herself? Please advise me regarding this, my Heart is not letting me foresake my Values, which are my Core Principles. I am willing to compromise on some other Qualities i.e., I'd happily settle down with a Girl who's Below Average in terms of Looks, Education & even Unemployed, as long as I can be Sure that she's an Un-Kissed Virgin. How can I be absolutely Sure of that?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You don't have to forsake your values based on others' opinions of it. If it makes you happy, you should stick to it. Having said that, you cannot force the same values on others. I understand you want a partner who has a similar mindset. The only way to get what you want is an open conversation- when you speak to a match, you can open up about your outlook and clear it from your end that you want the exact same values in your partner and politely request them to reject the alliance if she has any past relationships or has been intimate with anyone in any form. Let her know that you are not judging her, but this part is very important for you. Make it about yourself, because it is. Do not let the woman feel that there is some flaw in her, or start investigating her past.

Now, coming to your other query, how to be absolutely sure that she is telling the truth about her experiences- there is no such technique. You have to trust her. Moreover, you should understand that as much as you believe your values are important, trust in your partner is equally important in having a healthy and happy relationship. While you work on finding the partner of your choice, work on having a little more faith in people.
Hope this helps.

Best Wishes

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11151 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 22, 2026

Money
If I want to withdraw 1.5 lac per month, which SWP is better and how much should I invest in it?
Ans: It is very good that you are planning SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) in advance. Planning monthly income properly helps protect your capital and gives stable cash flow.

To withdraw Rs 1.5 lakh per month, the correct SWP structure depends mainly on:

– your age
– investment horizon
– whether income is required lifelong or for limited years
– existing retirement corpus
– risk tolerance

Still, I will guide you with a practical structure that suits most long-term SWP income needs.

» How much investment is required to withdraw Rs 1.5 lakh per month

Normally, safe SWP withdrawal rate should be around:

– 6% yearly for very safe structure
– 7% yearly for balanced structure
– 8% yearly for growth-oriented structure

Based on this:

Approximate investment required:

– Conservative structure: around Rs 3 crore
– Balanced structure: around Rs 2.5 crore
– Growth-oriented structure: around Rs 2.25 crore

This allows income sustainability without early capital depletion.

If withdrawal period is limited (example 15 years), required corpus may be lower.

If income required lifelong, higher corpus is safer.

» Which mutual fund categories are best for SWP income

Best SWP income normally comes from a combination approach.

Ideal structure:

– 40% Multi asset allocation category fund
– 30% Balanced advantage category fund
– 20% Flexi cap category fund
– 10% Short duration debt category fund

This structure provides:

– income stability
– inflation protection
– market downside control
– long-term capital sustainability

Avoid using only pure equity category funds for SWP.

Avoid using only debt category funds also because inflation reduces value.

Combination approach works best.

» Why multi asset allocation category fund works well for SWP

This category invests across:

– equity
– debt
– gold

It adjusts allocation automatically and supports stable withdrawal planning.

Very suitable for retirement-style monthly income planning.

» Tax efficiency advantage of SWP

SWP is more tax-efficient compared to interest income.

Because:

– only capital gain portion is taxed
– equity mutual fund LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– debt fund gains taxed as per income slab

So proper category selection improves post-tax income.

» How to structure SWP correctly

Better approach:

– keep 2 years withdrawal amount in short duration debt category fund
– keep remaining corpus in multi asset + balanced advantage category funds
– review once per year
– increase withdrawal gradually based on inflation

This protects income continuity during market corrections.

» Important preparation before starting SWP

Before starting SWP ensure:

– emergency fund available separately
– health insurance active
– no high-interest loans pending
– nominee details updated

These steps protect retirement income stability.

» Finally

To withdraw Rs 1.5 lakh monthly comfortably, target corpus should ideally be between Rs 2.25 crore and Rs 3 crore depending on risk level.

Use combination of multi asset, balanced advantage, flexi cap and short duration debt category funds instead of relying on a single category. This improves income stability and protects capital for long-term sustainability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |11050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 22, 2026

Career
Namaskar, My son has got 93.60 percentile in JEE mains 2026 with General rank 100144 and OBC NCL rank 32618. I request you to kindly guide me can he get admission in SGSITS, Indore in CSE / IT / ETC branch having MP domicile or any other better option as per your recommendation.
Ans: Govind Sir, With 93.60 percentile, CRL 1,00,144 and OBC-NCL rank 32,618 (MP domicile), your son should try both MP BE counselling and JoSAA. For SGSITS Indore, recent MP-counselling data show General home-state closing ranks around CSE 18,410, IT 37,589, ETC 48,484 in 2025, so CSE looks difficult, IT is borderline, and ETC appears the most realistic; OBC-MP quota may improve chances somewhat. For JoSAA, at OBC 32,618, expect mainly lower-demand branches in mid/lower NITs, IIITs and GFTIs, not CSE/IT in top institutes. My recommendation: SGSITS ETC/IT first, then good MP colleges like IET-DAVV/JEC, while keeping JoSAA + CSAB as backup. (I suggest you also cross-check the JoSAA opening and closing ranks data from the last 2–3 years before filling in the maximum number of your son’s preferred institutions and branches during counselling). ALL the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

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