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Arranged Marriage: Should I message him on LinkedIn?

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |161 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Sep 28, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Sep 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Hi ma'am, I met one guy through arrange marriage setup . I had strong instincts since I saw his bio that he is the one. Never felt like this before for anyone. After that, I didn't receive any clear answer from him or his family. I tried to connect with him on LinkedIn. He accepted my connection invite, which was really unexpected from him. Its been 15 days , I want to message him also but families were involved so I am afraid that if either his or my family got to know about this then what if they will misjudge me for directly contacting him. What should I do?

Ans: 1) Identify your instincts - what you read means the person meets your must-haves and nothing more
2) It is ok you contacting him - ask him directly if he is meeting others and if he and his family wishes to engage with you and your family, given this came from your family - if he does not respond ignore and block him after a few weeks and if he says a no block him asap
3) Having said this he accepted your Linkedin but he may have no clue who you are and how you know him - so you may be overthinking
4) Dont waste time obsessing about someone you do not know at all except on paper.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |599 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 29, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Around 2022, I got a marriage proposal from a mutual acquaintance of a guy who us also known to my family . At that time I was in a relationship with someone else so my family told that I am currently focusing on my studies . But recently , I am single and saw his account on social media . We started chatting with each other and I realised that we are conpatible in many aspects . But after some days ... my mother started pressuring me that they will start to see marriage prospects for me. Also I felt that he also feels the same for me because how he talked to me... So out of pressure ,I asked him and told about my feelings for him and told why it will be profitable if we consider ourselves as a couple .He told that he has a lot of pressure from his family to settle for a well paying job (though he is working in a private company)and also wants to focus on his passion too. Also he had brojen his heart 2 times. Although he assured that he is not saying no and also he would think over this proposal and would give me an answer . But the next day I saw he blocked me from social media . I would have appreciated if he had an open communication with me as I had the same . Btw now he is 27 and I am 23 .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am very sorry to hear that you had to go through this. Some people do not have the emotional maturity to say a simple no or speak their truth. He might not have wanted to make things awkward or thought he was sparing you some pain but ultimately that isn't the case. But the important thing to remember here is that his action reflects on him and what kind of a person he is; it does not highlight your worth. I know it hurts right now, but it will get better and you will find someone who loves you.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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