Arranged Marriage: Should I message him on LinkedIn?

Ans:

Dear A,

He is seeking attention, validation and care from you and you are also getting that in return from him.

Does this qualify to be in a relationship with a married man? You know the answer to it and the complications that will arise alongside.

You are confused because in your heart you know that something is amiss.

Listen to what your heart points out to and if you feel breaking up with him is the best thing like you did thrice, the next time stick with it.

Why retract? Maybe because you feel weak at that moment and give in.

Every time you give in, you are back to the same confusion. So, time to evaluate your thoughts and ask yourself: What will happen if I move on without him?

What life can I have an opportunity to create on my terms in complete clarity and away from this confusion?

Will this life that I create be better for me and my child in terms of being at peace?

What if I seek a relationship with someone who is in a similar space like I am in now?

Do this reality check and then do the right thing. You know you can do this, and you want to for a life that can be lived in clarity and harmony.

All the best to you!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
He was perhaps only testing how you are in different social contexts and whether you gel well with his mind in all these situations.
He could have been mature about it and actually told you about it rather than testing you this way and then dropping you like a hot potato. In all likelihood, he's just using his parents as an excuse to actually say NO to the alliance.
What commitment are you referring to? Did he promise to marry you? Did you actually believe that so soon?
It takes a while to get to know someone and actually develop a level of trust to believe what they say. But you mention that you 'fell' for each other...
Is it possible that you 'fell' for him and he was just testing the whole time and you forgot to read the signals?
Eagerness to please and be in someone's life can lead to you dropping your guard and not seeing red flags when you must. Now, when you say he cheated on you, what does that mean? Was there any sort of formal or informal agreement as a couple? If NO, there is no cheating involved, right? Yes, you are hurt, but better that he did what he did now than later after a commitment, yeah?

There are a few gaps in what you have shared and I can only gather something to suggest to you: Please move on, the next time when you meet someone, take time to evaluate the person before placing your heart out on a plate...Value and love yourself a lot and that will translate into respect from the other person.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It is difficult to tell what is going on in someone's mind and it is better not to assume. The best thing to do here would be to ask him directly. You are both adults. There is no harm in asking him if he likes you or if he sees any future with you. It would help you avoid misinterpretation and waste your time.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am very sorry to hear that you had to go through this. Some people do not have the emotional maturity to say a simple no or speak their truth. He might not have wanted to make things awkward or thought he was sparing you some pain but ultimately that isn't the case. But the important thing to remember here is that his action reflects on him and what kind of a person he is; it does not highlight your worth. I know it hurts right now, but it will get better and you will find someone who loves you.

Best Wishes.