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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |148 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Oct 03, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2024
Relationship

I am 23 year old. One of my ex who is married now told me about a job opportunity in his company where I applied and got selected he became my boss. He was recently married and was staying alone in Bangalore. He made alot of things easier for me, even arranged flight tickets, hotels for me from company's expenses. From first day I reached Mumbai he kept on saying me he loves me and has no intimacy with his wife it was a forced marriage and he can't live without me he came to check me at my hotel and he tried kissing me and when I resisted he said he has never touched his wife, it was his dream to loose his virginity with me only once he wants to have sex with me it was his dream I am his first love he can never be happy with that lady but this one moment will be enough to keep him happy and healthy convinced me to the level I gave up and we had sex that day. Later that day I got to know that he had clicked pictures of whatever happened. When I confronted him he said whenever he will miss me he will see this. I was like u did dis without my knowledge it's wrong without my permission. I left that company and Mumbai immediately in few days. I feel really bad, how I got into his words although I was single but I have a guilty of helping him in cheating his wife. Now he is having 2 children and a very happy mai life and I still keep blaming myself for having a thing with a married man and immense guilty for helping him cheating his wife. I have lost my mental peace. Is it all my fault??? It been 5 years since this things happened. I am happily married now and have no contact with that man but is it correct myself for it. Was it completely my fault. Have i cheated his wife or i myself got cheated by a liar?

Ans: 1. Was it your fault - 23 you are an adult, and someone who can take decisions, you decided to give in, allow him to take photographs - not about fault, but you gave consent
2. Have you got cheated by a liar - yes you did
3. Did you cheat his wife - he cheated his wife and you cheated yourself

Please make sure you BLOCK him from all social media handles, your phone number - surprised that you are still tracking him. And get out of your guilt and focus on your life.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |546 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 14, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 26, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Dear sir, I am a widow of 44 yrs reputed officer and I am also working at a reputed post. I have a daughter also. 2 yrs back I gave a matrimoni adv on a online site for remarriage. I received a call from an Sr. Scientist. I was serious about this because he was a nice educated fellow and working as scientist, his case of divorce was in process, which he told that it is going to over soon. After around two months talk over the phone I liked the person and I met him. I liked him, later I invited him at my place as well as I also visited his place we came close to each other physically. Every thing was going fine he shared so many things about his family and wife as well as I also shared. Everything was going on fine suddenly he changed his nature and started avoiding and ignoring me. He told me that I will bring you my home nicely. Now we have fought. I am telling home to meet face to face. he is threatening me and me that if you will meet me and co e toy place will ruin you. Now he is running from me and telling go away and blocked me from all social media. He has used me and left me after wasting my two years. I am at a juncture of life that after my daughter I will be alone. Now after this cheating i have got so scared that not able to belive on any one. What should I do? Should I meet him once at his place? Should I tell all story to his father? I feel depression and anxiety. What should I do pl suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear about the issues you are facing. You certainly did not deserve it. I suggest you hold your head high and do not contact him again. If he has blocked you and is trying to cut you out of his life, that's his loss. You are missing nothing losing a man like that. Count your blessings that you did not end up committing to him and bringing your daughter into the equation. Look at the bright side; you dodged a bullet.

There are plenty of kind and genuine men who would be lucky to partner up with you. Do not give up on love. Take your time; heal from this. I am sure it isn't easy to get back into the dating field and, on top of everything, have an experience like this. But this is just one man; everyone is not the same. You will surely find someone much better and worthy. As for what to do with him- just leave. Do not try to contact and do not take him back if he tries to come back. You deserve more.

Best Wishes!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |555 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I got married three months ago, during courtship period my ex was in my office but then my marriage wasn't fixed properly ,when it got yeses from both the side I changed my office,but I couldn't tell this to my husband and also I lied about my virginity,he was also not virgin and after marriage I confessed all this ,now he is not forgiving me for my dishonesty and not letting me come home also he abuse me verbally ,slapped me..I also feel like cheated for not letting me know this side of him before marriage..How should I go ahead?
Ans: I'm truly sorry to hear about the difficulties you're facing in your new marriage. It's concerning to hear that you're experiencing verbal abuse and physical violence from your husband. No one deserves to be treated this way, and it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being.

First and foremost, if you are in immediate danger or feel unsafe, please reach out to local authorities or a trusted friend or family member for support. Your safety is paramount.

In terms of next steps, it's essential to seek support and assistance from professionals who can help you navigate this situation. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationships and domestic violence. They can provide you with guidance, support, and resources to help you make informed decisions about your next steps.

Additionally, you may want to consider reaching out to organizations or hotlines that specialize in supporting individuals experiencing domestic violence. They can offer confidential support, safety planning, and resources to help you leave the abusive situation and rebuild your life.

It's also crucial to recognize that you are not responsible for your husband's abusive behavior, and you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect in your marriage. If your husband is unwilling to seek help or change his behavior, it may be necessary to consider your options for leaving the relationship to ensure your safety and well-being.

Leaving an abusive relationship can be challenging, but you don't have to face it alone. There are people and resources available to support you every step of the way. Please prioritize your safety and take steps to protect yourself from further harm. You deserve to live a life free from abuse and violence.

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Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |284 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Mar 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 13, 2025Hindi
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Career
I am a bsc graduate and in two months I will be 23 years old but mbbs is my dream and goal. I would like to purse it now and preparing for neet exam. Can you give you advice on this sir
Ans: ELIGIBILITY RELATED TO AGE:
Eligibility for appearing in NEET (UG), as per related Regulations of NMC
and DCI are as follows:-
5.1.1. He/she has completed 17 years of age at the time of admission or will
complete that age on or before 31 December of the year of his/her
admission to the first year of the Undergraduate Medical Course.
Accordingly, the lower age limit shall be as under:
For Candidates of General (UR)/General-EWS born on or
before
31.12.2008
For Candidates of SC/ST/OBCNCL/
PwBD/PwD Category
5.1.2. Upper age limit: As per Letter No. U-11022/2/2022-UGMEB,
dated 09 March 2022 received from National Medical
Commission (NMC), Under Graduate Medical Education Board
(UGMEB) regarding the upper age limit, there is no upper age
limit.

ELIGIBILITY RELATED TO COURSE:
CODE: 06
B.Sc. Examination of an Indian University provided that
he/she has passed the B.Sc. Examination with not less than
two of the subjects Physics, Chemistry, Biology (Botany,
Zoology)/Biotechnology and further that he/ she has passed
the earlier qualifying examination with Physics, Chemistry,
Biology, and English.

KINDLY NOTE: Based on the facts and guidelines surrounding NEET, I would like to offer the following comments.
There is no need to worry about the age limit because the NTA is not concerned about your upper age limit. However, your educational qualifications must match the requirements. You fall under the Code 6 category.

If you have completed your undergraduate degree in Science (which you didn’t mention, but I’m predicting), consider whether stating your BSc is worthwhile. Ultimately, your eligibility depends on matching your Higher Secondary Certificate (HSC) qualifications. If your HSC does not align with the requirements, you will not be eligible to appear for NEET. If you are eligible based on your HSC, then focus on your HSC score rather than Code 6.

Wishing you the best of luck!

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1553 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 07, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I had a very bad past where I was in physical relationship with like 10 guys that was due to the earlier relationship I had where I was being used financially and physically that hurt and me and I got really f***** up in my mind so I started dating guys just for physical relationship then the last guy I was in relationship with I got pregnant with a baby and I aborted it because I did not want to have a future with him and also I did not have confidence to grow that baby. then 4 months later I met my husband I fell in love with him at the first meet and we had physical thing at the very first meet. during the second meet he read the group chat between me and my friends where we spoke bad words ,my husband was not okay with that and he was really feeling bad about it and he started to talk about our break up.I was waiting for my final yr results when I met him soon I got my result then I have to start my internship my husband paid 5 lacs rupees for me but he was anxious that I will be with the friends who I was talking bad words with in college and he wanted to have a breakup and he fighted everyday with that reason .I promised him that I will not be that person anymore and I won't talk to my friends. one day I helped my friend with work for which my husband got angry and he wanted to have a break up and he started to talk about the last guy which I said that he was a friend before and I don't talk to him anymore then he raised question about him and then I told him that I was having a Friends with benefit relationship with him, then things got bitter and he seriously wants break up this time,.everyday he talks to me about that and fights with me I stop going to college .one day I made a suicide attempt and then 2 days after he started talking to me normally. soon again he started asking all those questions about the last guy I have been with, he asked very minute questions about the day and dates and he fighted with me everyday for that. there is a friend of mine who knows everything about my past ,in all these chaos,things got bitter between me and her and we stop talking. one day my husband talked to her and he asked everything about me and he got to know all about my past and he said that he took all the history of my chats ,apps and photos and asked me questions repeatedly and I told him everything completely without hiding anything. then things got messed up. I was really distressed, then my family got involved and things got very bitter, he told everything about my past to my mother. one day, they made me stop talking to him. he sent message to my sister in law and brother about my past, then my mother went to my husband's sister and told her that my husband is making a big mess not allowing me to go to internship and he has all our intimate pictures then things got Messed up more and he stopped talking to me. he was just asking me the 5 lakhs rupees he paid for me and then we stopped talking for about a week, I turned completely insane during that period and I sent him txt that I am not able to live without him .then we started talking, few days after he was okay with me going to the college then again he started fighting he was not ok with me to go to college. then we decided to get register married which a day later he denied.then I ran away from my house to him ,he received me and I was with him for 3 months we lived together for 3 months during which period he spoke really bad of me because of my past which I endured because I was really feeling guilty of my past and I thought I deserved it. he was asking even all those small personal things and he hurted me so much with his words which was mere verbal abuse ,meanwhile I got pregnant then he introduced me to his family and then we got married registered in front of our family. it was an inter religious marriage. all this time he controls me for every little thing like I should do this and I should do that which I did not take seriously then. now everything got secured my mom wanted me to complete my degree in my hometown because I was not able to complete it anywhere else but my husband was not ok with me going to my hometown to complete my degree because of my past things. I have financial things to take care of because of the money spent for my degree so I was thinking to make a deal either to finish my degree or I wanted my husband to give back the money that was spent for my degree because he said so but then later he started to humiliate my family for expecting money from me and he told that they we just see me as an investment to earn back the money they spent on me. But my family wanted me to complete the degree at the first place.this created a lot of arguments between me and him . Finally,one day my mom approach his family and she wanted me to come with her to complete my degree but my husband was not ok with it and I was still supporting him my mom told that she will die if I didn't complete my degree because that was all that she dreamed for me her entire life. then they sent me to my hometown with my mom to complete my degree. after coming here my husband did not talk to me for 2 days, then he texted me that he does not want to live with me. he told that I and my family were being fake and we were using him and we broke him into pieces and made him go through the pain which he did not deserve. I got really emotional and I told him that I wanted to go back to him. he told me that he will take me to him the next day that he will book a bus for me to reach back to him but he did not contact me the next day .then a day later he started making arguments again this time, he said that he wanted divorce from me because he cannot have a life with me .he told that he does not want to be in my life and our child's life, if I want he can give financial support for my child's growth. I denied the money and I told him that I am not willing for a divorce unless or otherwise he wants to marry another girl then he 3 hrs later, he sent a letter of intent to divorce and I did not reply for it .what should I do now?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As bad or hurtful as it may sound to you, you have simply thrown your life at the mercy of others. They have used you as a puppet only because you have given them permission to do so...past relationships and even now.
What you should do now is:
1. Ask an elder member (not your mother) of the family to intervene and talk to him and his side of the family to see if there is any scope for reconciliation. If there is, then your husband has got to stop playing these games of wanting you one day and then not wanting you the next. It's highly toxic to live with someone who trusts you for a moment and then asks you to prove your innocence the next moment. The two of you will need to get into Intensive Therapy as a couple to put things back together.
2. If there is no scope for reconciliation, please get a good lawyer who can secure the baby's future and yours.

Though you haven't asked me this, for your own good I suggest:
Please understand that no man is going to make you happy. So, depending on them despite the fact that can act toxic, is only draining you mentally and emotionally. Evaluate for yourself what you want from life besides being in relationships constantly. A break from it all will actually help you, you know. At least it will give you sense of how you can be by yourself and what you value the most in your life. Once you get past this stage, you will be stronger to draw boundaries and know how to enforce them. No one will be able to walk over you and you will be able to reclaim your identity.
You come first and your baby is going to need a strong mother raising them. So, step up NOW!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |284 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Mar 16, 2025

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1553 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My father in law dislikes my cooking. My husband also feels I can learn a thing or two from my mother in law. Honestly, I am not passionate about cooking or household chores. I can make my tea, fold my clothes, keep my room organised. Beyond that I cannot contribute because I also have a day job. I don't like being compared to other women who can cook, clean, do the dishes and also manage their work. This conversation always leads to arguments at home. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Integrate yourself well into the family; showing interest in cooking and actually doing it are two different things. At times, family members just end up testing you through what you do or not do. Showing interest and in fact praising you mother-in-law and actually learning a dish or two the way she makes it isn't going to hurt you or put a dent in your work life. In fact, they will appreciate that you tried and leave you alone.
Going on a tangent to prove that you have a day job and that you don't like to be compared etc leads to unwanted conversations and arguments. But what is it getting you other than putting you on a spotlight where they target you again. Instead take the spotlight off of you by integrating better; they will leave you alone and in fact even support you. Right now, all this nagging is only to gain your attention and you are giving into it...Integrate...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1553 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 05, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I caught my partner cheating on me with other women on a discreet dating app. He apologised once saying he joined it for fun, he wasn't serious. But I am unable to get over the incident. Recently, I discovered that he has changed his phone's password. I don't know if I should trust him again. If I find out that he is cheating on me again, it will break my heart. We have been together for 7 years. Can one incident really change your relationship? Since I confronted him, I have become more suspicious. Am I overthinking? Should I give him another chance or slowly part ways?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Honesty is the core of any relationship and when this is in question like in your relationship, it's obvious that you are going to think and process every move and action of his.
The key here is to separate his actions from what is important to you. Let's assume for a moment that what is important to you is Honesty...then all is actions will be evaluated against this, isn't it? This game will go on and stress you. Instead, hold on to the fact that honesty is non-negotiable and that's that!
Now, assure him that at any point in time he has the space and liberty to talk to you about anything. This will ensure that you are accommodating. Being in a understanding space can put men at ease and who knows his wayward ways may end soon. But, hey you know best...But also know this, once the seed of doubt is set in, it's only going to grow. So, decide whether you want to trust him and if he really is someone you can put your trust on. You will know that being with him for 7 years...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

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