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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |186 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on May 09, 2025

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2025
Relationship

Hi Ms Shalini. I have been using dating apps for 3 years now. I have noticed that after a while, everything starts to feel repetitive. The same conversations, silly jokes and the same dead ends. What can I do to break this pattern and find something meaningful?

Ans: Do not put in efforts and time in getting to know the person unless you have met a few times. google on blogs written by me - I do write on how to date....

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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Relationship
Hello sir, thanks for your previous response. I am a bit curious about how relationships fall into routine and predictability. We all know that every relationship has a phase where passion wanes and people settle in routine and predictable life. But only some of them get attracted towards potential partners outside while some don't. Why this happens and is it different for men and women?
Ans: Relationships, like any dynamic process, evolve over time. Initially, there's a phase filled with excitement and discovery, often driven by passion and novelty. As time progresses, this high-energy state transitions into a more stable and predictable pattern, which can sometimes be perceived as mundane. The predictability in relationships is not inherently negative; it provides a sense of security and trust. However, the challenge lies in maintaining the balance between comfort and excitement.

Why Some People Seek Excitement Outside the Relationship:
Unmet Needs:

When certain emotional, psychological, or physical needs aren't met within the relationship, individuals might seek fulfillment elsewhere. This isn't necessarily about dissatisfaction but about finding what they feel is missing.
Desire for Novelty:

Humans are naturally inclined towards novelty and excitement. Some individuals have a higher need for variety and may seek new experiences or connections outside their relationship to satisfy this craving.
Emotional Distance:

Over time, couples can drift apart emotionally. If there's a lack of emotional intimacy or unresolved conflicts, one might look for connection outside the relationship.
Validation and Self-Esteem:

Some people seek validation and a boost in self-esteem from new admirers. This external validation can be intoxicating, especially if they feel underappreciated within their current relationship.
Differences Between Men and Women:
While individual differences often overshadow gender differences, certain trends have been observed:

Social Conditioning:

Men and women are often socialized differently, affecting their approach to relationships and infidelity. Men might be conditioned to seek multiple partners to prove their virility, while women might seek emotional connections.
Emotional vs. Physical Needs:

Generally, women may seek emotional fulfillment, while men might be more inclined towards physical satisfaction. However, this is not a rule and varies greatly among individuals.
Communication Styles:

Women often emphasize emotional sharing and communication, which can prevent emotional drift. Men might struggle with this, leading to unmet emotional needs.
Risk vs. Reward:

Men might be more willing to take risks for immediate rewards, while women might consider the broader implications and long-term effects on the family and relationship.
Maintaining Balance and Preventing Predictability:
Open Communication:

Regularly discussing desires, needs, and concerns can prevent emotional drift and unmet needs.
Shared Activities:

Engaging in new activities together can reignite the spark and bring novelty into the relationship.
Emotional Intimacy:

Building and maintaining emotional intimacy through shared experiences, empathy, and understanding can strengthen the bond.
Self-Reflection:

Individuals should reflect on their own needs and communicate them effectively. Understanding oneself is key to understanding the relationship dynamics.
Appreciation and Gratitude:

Regularly expressing appreciation and gratitude can boost self-esteem and reinforce the positive aspects of the relationship.
In the end, each relationship is unique, and understanding the individual needs and dynamics at play is essential. By fostering open communication, emotional intimacy, and mutual respect, couples can navigate the phases of their relationship with greater ease and fulfillment.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1778 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I’m a 28-year-old woman who has been single for almost three years now. I’ve recently started dating again. I met some great people, but I can’t seem to stop overthinking every little thing. Like, did I text too much? Was I too quiet during the date? Why did he take 5 hours to reply? Honestly, it’s exhausting, and it’s making me feel like I’m self-sabotaging potential connections. I know I’m a good person and have a lot to offer, but my mind just won’t stop analysing. How can I stop overthinking every interaction and just enjoy the dating process without this constant mental chatter?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You can keep thinking and still won't get a satisfactory answer to your whats and whys.
The key to stop overthinking is to actually STOP it. The 3 year gap and a possible fact of seeing your age group women already having settled down may have put you on an alert mode that tells you: Make sure that you don't goof it up!

When you tell yourself not to goof it up, invariable you will focus on what can and might go wrong and that's enough to exhaust you. Instead enjoy the dating process and go with that flow; things may go fine or not; just be in that moment...be aware of what's important to you and where you will draw boundaries. This check point will make sure that you put yourself out there and yet will keep you reined in without ruining your peace of mind. Enjoy the process...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11091 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 31, 2026

Money
I am Snehansu Ranjan Roy. I am holding one Motilal oswal midcap mutual fund for more than One year now. Initially it was going well in 2024-25. By by end of 2025 the fund was loosing steam and now has lost almost 15% from its peak. Now I understand that due to low return in IT stocks in their port folio the fund is underperforming. I would like your advice as to hold on for some more time now or switch gradually from this fund to some Multi asset fund which are giving better returns in todays market, since I was thing of starting SwP from the fund since it is more than one year now. Thanking you, Snehansu Ranjan Roy.
Ans: You have taken a very thoughtful step by reviewing your mutual fund performance after one year and also thinking about starting SWP. This shows good financial awareness and discipline. Many investors react emotionally during mid-cap corrections, but you are analysing calmly. That is a strong positive sign.

Now let us evaluate your situation properly before deciding whether to hold or switch.

» Understanding why your midcap fund is correcting

– Midcap funds normally move faster up and also faster down compared to large cap funds
– A 15% fall from peak is not unusual in midcap category
– Underperformance due to sector exposure like IT is usually temporary, not permanent
– Fund performance should be judged across one full market cycle (minimum 3–5 years)

So one year is too short a time to judge a midcap strategy.

Many midcap funds corrected during late 2025 because valuations became high earlier. This correction is part of the cycle.

» Whether starting SWP from a midcap fund is suitable now

This is a very important point.

SWP works best when:

– fund volatility is low
– returns are stable
– downside risk is limited

Midcap funds do not match these conditions.

If SWP starts from a volatile fund:

– units get redeemed during market fall
– long-term growth reduces
– capital erosion risk increases

So starting SWP from a midcap fund is generally not ideal.

» Whether shifting gradually to a multi asset fund makes sense

Your thinking here is practical and mature.

Multi asset funds invest across:

– equity
– debt
– gold and sometimes other assets

Because of this:

– volatility reduces
– downside risk becomes lower
– SWP sustainability improves
– emotional comfort increases

This category is suitable especially when investor wants income stability along with moderate growth.

So your idea of gradual switching is sensible.

» How to switch in a safer way

Instead of switching full amount immediately:

– shift gradually in 4 to 6 stages
– spread switching across few months
– continue holding some portion in midcap for growth
– move SWP portion into multi asset category

This keeps balance between growth and stability.

» Tax impact before switching

Since your holding period crossed one year:

– gains become long term capital gains
– tax applies only if gains exceed Rs 1.25 lakh in a financial year
– LTCG tax rate is 12.5% beyond exemption limit

So gradual switching helps manage tax efficiently.

» A balanced strategy suitable for your stage

Considering your approach and your earlier planning style shared in previous discussions:

– keep midcap allocation for long-term growth
– move SWP portion into multi asset category
– maintain some exposure to flexi-cap category for stability plus growth
– avoid withdrawing aggressively during market correction phase

This creates both income comfort and capital protection.

» When you should continue holding the midcap fund

Continue holding if:

– investment horizon is more than 3 years
– fund management quality remains consistent
– correction is sector-specific not structural
– portfolio still aligned with your risk level

Selling only because of short-term underperformance is usually not beneficial.

» Finally

Your thinking about risk reduction before starting SWP is correct and timely. Instead of exiting the midcap fund completely, a partial and gradual shift towards a multi asset category is a more balanced and practical solution. This helps you protect capital, support SWP stability, and still keep long-term growth opportunity alive.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11091 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 31, 2026

Money
I am 70 yrs old. No financial commitment right now. Retired from Bank 10 yrs ago. I am expecting around 1.00 cr from immovable property sale. Please suggest, where I can invest.
Ans: You are in a comfortable and strong position at age 70. Having no financial commitments and receiving about Rs 1 crore from property sale gives you a valuable opportunity to create stable income for life and protect capital for future medical needs and family support. This stage requires capital protection first, income second, growth third.

Below is a structured approach suitable for your age and situation.

» First Priority – Keep Emergency Medical Reserve Separate

Before investing the full amount:

– Keep about Rs 10–15 lakh in safe and liquid options
– This amount should be available immediately for health needs
– It should not be linked to market movement
– This gives peace of mind and avoids forced withdrawals later

At age 70, this step is very important.

» Second Priority – Monthly Income Planning

Your investment should generate regular income without risk to capital stability.

Suggested approach:

– Allocate around 40% into conservative mutual funds suitable for income withdrawal
– Start Systematic Withdrawal Plan (monthly income)
– Withdraw only moderate amount so capital lasts longer

This helps create pension-like income without locking money permanently.

» Third Priority – Stability Allocation

Another 30–35% can be placed in safe interest-oriented instruments like:

– senior citizen eligible deposit structures
– post office backed income options
– short-duration debt-oriented mutual funds

Purpose:

– predictable returns
– low volatility
– steady support income

» Fourth Priority – Growth Portion (Important Even at 70)

Even at age 70, some allocation to growth is necessary because:

– inflation reduces purchasing power
– medical costs rise every year
– life expectancy now extends beyond 85

So allocate about 20–25% into carefully selected diversified equity-oriented mutual funds through staggered investment.

This portion protects long-term wealth value.

» Avoid Investing Entire Amount in One Option

Many retirees make this mistake:

– putting full amount into deposits
– locking full amount into one scheme
– giving money for high-return private offers
– lending to relatives without structure

Diversification is the protection shield at this stage.

» Tax Efficiency Planning Is Important

Property sale creates capital gains implications.

So before investing:

– calculate capital gains tax properly
– explore legal reinvestment strategies available
– structure investments in phases instead of lump sum deployment

This preserves more of your wealth.

» Nomination and Estate Planning Must Be Updated

Since you have no commitments now:

– ensure nominee details are correct
– prepare a simple Will
– document investment structure clearly
– inform family members where records are stored

This prevents confusion later.

» Suggested Allocation Structure (Simple Model)

A balanced structure may look like:

– 10–15% emergency reserve
– 30–35% stable income options
– 40% income-support mutual funds
– 20–25% growth mutual funds

This creates:

– monthly income
– liquidity
– inflation protection
– capital safety balance

» Health Insurance Check

Even if you already have coverage:

– review whether coverage is sufficient today
– add top-up if required
– keep separate medical reserve anyway

Medical inflation is the biggest risk after retirement.

» Finally

At age 70, the goal is not maximum return. The goal is steady income, capital protection, and independence with dignity. With proper allocation of this Rs 1 crore, you can comfortably create reliable income support for the rest of your life while preserving wealth for future needs and family support.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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