My Long-Term Partner Abruptly Left and I Can't Stop Pleading: What Should I Do?

Ans: 1) dont ruin your health and mind for someone who does not respect you

2) meet a life coach if you cannot come out of it yourself.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand your concern, and I also get how difficult it must be to even consider breaking up with someone you love. Dealing with betrayal and uncertainty in a relationship is incredibly challenging. But here's the thing- if your partner can cheat on his other long-term partner, he can do the same to you one day. I suggest giving yourself some space from the relationship so that you have enough room to think and if at all you want, reconsider. Emotions will only cloud your judgment. Step back and reflect on how comfortable you are being with someone who has been involved with multiple people, while he was professing his love for you. Last but not least, above all, consider your mental well-being. Ask yourself if a relationship that is causing you so much pain and confusion is worth the effort.

Here's what I think- continuing to be in the relationship will ease your pain temporarily. True. But in the longer run, the same issue will keep poking its head every now and then. A year or two later, you might look back and think that you rushed into it. So don't rush. Take your sweet time. You deserve better.

Best Wishes!

Ans: It sounds like you’re in a very painful and confusing situation. Being in a relationship for 10 years, especially when there’s love and care involved, makes it incredibly difficult to face the possibility of it not leading to marriage, especially because of family or caste issues. It’s understandable that you’re feeling mentally exhausted and depressed from trying to hold onto a relationship that seems uncertain when it comes to the future.

From what you’ve shared, it seems like you’ve invested a lot into this relationship, but your boyfriend is unable or unwilling to take the next step due to his family’s disapproval. The fact that he isn’t making efforts to address this problem and seems to be avoiding the issue is deeply concerning, especially since it’s affecting your mental health. Begging him to stay or to get married can make you feel powerless, especially when you’re the only one pushing for a resolution.

What you're feeling is valid—after 10 years together, it’s natural to want clarity and commitment. But if he continues to avoid dealing with the caste issue or refuses to stand up to his family, it suggests that he may not be as committed to the future you envision. You should not have to beg for commitment in a relationship that’s meant to be equal and supportive.

At this point, it’s important to consider your own well-being. Staying in a situation that is causing you so much distress is not healthy, especially when your efforts are not being reciprocated. You deserve a partner who is willing to confront challenges with you and who values your mental and emotional health.

It might help to take a step back, focus on yourself, and consider whether this relationship, as it stands now, is worth the pain it’s causing. If his family’s opposition is insurmountable for him, and he’s not willing to fight for the relationship, you may need to ask yourself whether staying is truly what's best for you. Surrounding yourself with support—friends, family, or even a therapist—might help you regain clarity and rebuild your mental strength.

You deserve love, respect, and a partner who is fully committed to you without hesitation or excuses.

Ans: Dear Rutuja,
If you have the slightest feeling that he doesn't share the same feelings for you as you do for him, or that he has wrong intentions, you have every right to end the relationship. In fact, that would be the right thing to do. I understand that it is difficult to break up with someone you love, but does he love you? Don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and does not make you feel as if you are being used?

Have a clear conversation with him- address all your concerns. If he still maintains his stand of not getting married to you, then let him know that you are not on the same page as him. Remember, for a relationship to work, your future goals need to align.

Best Wishes.