Should I say yes to an arranged marriage with a man I like but my mom doesn't?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry for your loss. It is certainly not easy to put yourself out there and find love. And it might seem that you should have to settle because it's difficult to find a kind man, but you shouldn't. While I would like to point out that looks don't last forever; it's people's nature, their kindness, and their behavior that stays in the long run, that doesn't mean you must settle down with the first man who ticks the boxes. If your heart isn't into it, you should not have to rush. Give it some time. If you are okay with it, maintain a friendly relationship with him. If, with time, you grow to like him, then that's amazing. If you don't, that's perfectly fine too.
My only suggestion here is don't rush. A good nature, though hard to find, is still the bare minimum. Also, please don't focus on outward appearances only. They can be deceiving.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear anonymous,
I will say this again: Address whatever concerns they have whether it is about caste, religion, money...If it is about caste obviously it is a deep-rooted belief that cannot be changed easily. Don't fight it, but rather address it.
Maybe if over some time spend time with the boy and get to know him, they may change their opinion. But that may not happen, so be prepared for that as well.
It's only about making an attempt without really expecting the best outcome. Who knows it might turn out for the best...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Appearance does not last a lifetime. Are you sure it is that important for you? After all, you fell in love with a man whose appearance isn't his best quality. Makes me wonder if you are just giving into the societal construct of wanting to marry for good looks.

Next, if you are concerned about your future in his house, it is best not to rush anything in terms of getting married. Think about it; have a clear discussion with him about the kind of future he can offer you. Love isn't the only thread that holds onto a relationship.

I cannot tell you if you should pursue this relationship, but I can tell you that you shouldn't break up with someone because they are not fair or handsome by your standards.

Best Wishes.

Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.