Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Shalini

Shalini Singh  |180 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2025

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2025Hindi
Relationship

I'm a software engineer from Bangalore. I am 28, and I am dating my girlfriend who is a Punjabi for four years now. She comes from a modern family, eats non veg and has a carefree lifestyle. She suggests we go for a live-in relationship, but my conservative Tamil parents strongly disapprove. They feel our cultures and lifestyle don't match and we should not hurt each others' emotions and families. Can a live-in relationship affect our future? What should I do?

Ans: Live-in relationship is form of an exclusive committed relationship which means - you are as committed to as one is when one is married - which means committed socially, emotionally, physically, financially.

The key difference between marriage and a live-in relationship is the legal approval — marriage comes with a legal

That said, both marriage and live-in are committed relationships, and both require continuous effort. They are, in their own way, lifelong works-in-progress.

As for your journey with your partner, you might choose to begin with a live-in and add the legal stamp later.
If you plan to have children and continue living in India, it’s important to understand how live-in relationships are viewed under local laws, as these vary across countries.

Now, about your cultural backgrounds — one Tamilian, the other Punjabi — yes, they’re different. But that’s also the beauty of it. This is a wonderful opportunity to explore each other’s culture, language, and traditions. With time, families can also come together and find common ground.

And who knows? Once your families see the two of you living together, happy and compatible, they may come around and fully embrace your choice.

Wishing you both the very best
If you’d like to discuss this more personally, feel free to book a one-on-one interaction with me:
https://andwemet.com/relationship-guidance

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Im a 21 years old telugu girl and my boyfriend is 34 yrs tamil guy. He's smart, good looking and well settled. My family doesn't support for love marriage. He's the best and gentleman i ever dated. He cares for me and supports me and intendes to marry me after a year. He's ready to talk to my parents about us but im afraid. My family is orthodox and conventional. They strictly follow the traditional values, castes and customs etc. Apart from this, age gap is a big issue as well. I dont want to disappoint my parents as well as my boyfriend. Whenever i say that our relationship doesn't work, he gets mood off and avoids to talk about it further. He's saying that he'll take of everything when the right time comes of. I dont know what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Someone will be disappointed; so learn to deal with that...
An ideal life where everyone is happy around you is an unrealistic expectation.
So, let your boyfriend talk to your parents...yes, your parents may disapprove, and if they do, figure out how you are going to tackle that. if you have boyfriend who is moody, know that he is at an age where he is not interested in drama and wants things to go a particular way. Is he willing to be patient through your parents' disapproval and work with it? Make sure to let him know that avoiding a topic, upsets you and watch how he reacts to it.

Also, have you thought of your future? You are 21...where is your career in all of this? Do focus on that as well...It will help you steady your mind and instill a lot of confidence to deal with challenges.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |646 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 22, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hii ma'am... I'm in relationship with my boyfriend for about 5 years and we both love each other a lot..We are doing MBBS and preparing for IAS alongside..He is an amazing human being.. considerate kind honest compassionate...He is really smart intelligent and determined to achieve everything he sets his eyes on...He is just so confident... a good human being...He respects me a lot..never been a time in 5 years he yelled at me in loud voice or he said or did something bad to me...like he loves me a lot and says he is doing everything for me.. his studies achievements and all are for me..He is everything I will want in a husband The problem is ... I'm a Jaat girl and he is Brahmin boy..His family agreed to our marriage...my parents are not ready at any cost for an intercaste marriage I'm from a well off family..my parents both are in govt jobs..He isn't from a rich family so my parents say that there needs to be a family background otherwise you will face problems...They say that I should find a boy who matches me in the looks.. They don't like his looks...Also his and mine home are almost 300 km from each other adding to the problem...my parents say that they won't want me to live so far from them that they can't even meet me regularly...They say that you will be busy in jobs and being so far we won't be able to meet you and you also won't be able to come..he should've been from same district... Their main objections are.. Intercaste..His looks.. Family background..Money.. Distance They have sacrificed a lot for me and I've always been a child who didn't ask for anything..never saying no to my parents..and all.. Always been close to them..it is very difficult for me to hurt them...but I love this boy so much..I can't even imagine marrying someone else..He is everything I would ever want in a husband... Ma'am please consider all the aspects and please advise accordingly what should be done..are my parents right..or they aren't...what should I do.. I'm stuck..
Ans: One thing that’s important to consider is that, ultimately, the person you marry will be the one who you will spend your life with—not your parents. It’s you who will navigate the everyday realities of this partnership. You’ve already seen the kind of partner your boyfriend is, and it sounds like you trust him deeply. He’s shown commitment, love, and respect, and those qualities are foundational to a long-lasting, fulfilling relationship.

When it comes to your parents, their concerns about caste, financial background, and distance are understandable, but these are challenges that many couples can and do overcome. Financial stability can change with time, and distance is something that can be managed with compromise, especially if both you and your partner have career goals that align. What matters most is the emotional connection and support you offer each other. It’s possible that once your parents see how happy and fulfilled you are with him, they may come around, even if it takes time.

I think one of the most crucial steps here is communication—not just with your boyfriend, but with your parents. You mentioned that you’ve always been a respectful and compliant child, and that’s a beautiful testament to the relationship you’ve shared with them. However, this might be the moment where you need to lovingly express your desires and assert your independence as an adult. Your happiness and well-being in a marriage should be the central concern. Try having an open, calm conversation with them where you acknowledge their concerns but also explain how deeply you feel for your boyfriend, emphasizing the qualities that truly matter to you—his kindness, his respect for you, and the life you want to build together.

While it’s natural to want your parents’ approval and blessing, it’s also important to recognize that they might not fully understand your relationship unless they see it from your perspective. It’s not about rebelling or hurting them—it’s about being honest with them about who you are now and what you want for your future. It may take time for them to come to terms with it, but as they see the strength of your commitment, they may begin to soften their stance.

If, after many conversations, they still cannot accept your choice, you’ll have to weigh your options. You can continue to work on slowly helping them see your perspective, or you may have to make a decision that prioritizes your happiness, even if it’s difficult in the short term. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and being with someone who supports, loves, and respects you as your boyfriend does will be far more valuable in the long run than external factors like caste or background.

Ultimately, it’s about what kind of life and partnership you envision for yourself. If your boyfriend is the one who aligns with your values, dreams, and emotional needs, you might need to help your parents understand that, even if it means navigating some tough conversations ahead.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |677 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 29, 2024

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10854 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello, I am currently in Class 12 and preparing for JEE. I have not yet completed even 50% of the syllabus properly, but I aim to score around '110' marks. Could you suggest an effective strategy to achieve this? I know the target is relatively low, but I have category reservation, so it should be sufficient.
Ans: With category reservation (SC/ST/OBC), a score of 110 marks is absolutely achievable and realistic. Based on 2025 data, SC candidates qualified with approximately 60-65 percentile, and ST candidates with 45-55 percentile. Your target requires scoring just 37-40% marks, which is significantly lower than general category standards. This gives you a genuine advantage. Immediate Action Plan (December 2025 - January 2026): 4-5 Weeks. Week 1-2: High-Weightage Chapter Focus. Stop trying to complete the entire syllabus. Instead, focus exclusively on high-scoring chapters that carry maximum weightage: Physics (Modern Physics, Current Electricity, Work-Power-Energy, Rotation, Magnetism), Chemistry (Chemical Bonding, Thermodynamics, Coordination Compounds, Electrochemistry), and Maths (Integration, Differentiation, Vectors, 3D Geometry, Probability). These chapters alone can yield 80-100+ marks if practiced properly. Ignore topics you haven't studied yet. Week 2-3: Previous Year Questions (PYQs). Solve JEE Main PYQs from the last 10 years (2015-2025) for chapters you're studying. PYQs reveal question patterns and difficulty levels. Focus on understanding why answers are correct, not memorizing solutions. Week 3-4: Mock Tests & Error Analysis. Take 2-3 full-length mock tests weekly under timed conditions. This is crucial because mock tests build exam confidence, reveal time management weaknesses, and error analysis prevents repeated mistakes. Maintain an error notebook documenting every mistake—this becomes your revision guide. Week 4-5: Revision & Formula Consolidation. Create concise formula sheets for each subject. Spend 30 minutes daily reviewing formulas and key concepts. Avoid learning new topics entirely at this stage. Study Schedule (Daily): 7-8 Hours. Morning (5:00-7:30 AM): Physics concepts + 30 PYQs. Break (7:30-8:30 AM): Breakfast & rest. Mid-morning (8:30-11:00): Chemistry concepts + 20 PYQs. Lunch (11:00-1:00 PM): Full break. Afternoon (1:00-3:30 PM): Maths concepts + 30 PYQs. Evening (3:30-5:00 PM): Mock test or error review. Night (7:00-9:00 PM): Formula revision & weak area focus. Strategic Approach for 110 Marks: Attempt only confident questions and avoid negative marking by skipping difficult questions. Do easy questions first—in the exam, attempt all basic-level questions before attempting medium or hard ones. Focus on quality over quantity as 30 well-practiced questions beat 100 random questions. Master NCERT concepts as most JEE questions test NCERT concepts applied smartly. April 2026 Session Advantage. If January doesn't deliver desired results, April gives you a second chance with 3+ months to prepare. Use January as a practice attempt to identify weak areas, then focus intensively on those in February-March. Realistic Timeline: January 2026 target is 95-110 marks (achievable with focused 50% syllabus), while April 2026 target is 120-130 marks (with complete syllabus + experience). Your reservation benefit means you need only approximately 90-105 marks to qualify and secure admission to quality engineering colleges. Stop comparing yourself to general category cutoffs. Most Importantly: Consistency beats perfection. Study 6 focused hours daily rather than 12 distracted hours. Your 110-mark target is realistic—execute this plan with discipline. All the BEST for Your JEE 2026!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1840 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2025
Career
Dear Sir/Madam, I am currently a 1st year UG student studying engineering in Sairam Engineering College, But there the lack of exposure and strict academics feels so rigid and I don't like it that. It's like they don't gaf about skills but just wants us to memorize things and score a good CGPA, the only skill they want is you to memorize things and pass, there's even special class for students who don't perform well in academics and it is compulsory for them to attend or else the student and his/her parents needs to face authorities who lashes out. My question is when did engineering became something that requires good academics instead of actual learning and skill set. In sairam they provides us a coding platform in which we need to gain the required points for each semester which is ridiculous cuz most of the students here just look at the solution to code instead of actual debugging. I am passionate about engineering so I want to learn and experiment things instead of just memorizing, so I actually consider dropping out and I want to give jee a try and maybe viteee , srmjeee But i heard some people say SRM may provide exposure but not that good in placements. I may not be excellent at studies but my marks are decent. So gimme some insights about SRM and recommend me other colleges/universities which are good at exposure
Ans: First — your frustration is valid

What you are experiencing at Sairam is not engineering, it is rote-based credential production.

“When did engineering become memorizing instead of learning?”

Sadly, this shift happened decades ago in most Tier-3 private colleges in India.

About “coding platforms & points” – your observation is sharp

You are absolutely right:

Mandatory coding points → students copy solutions

Copying ≠ learning

Debugging & thinking are missing

This is pseudo-skill education — it looks modern but produces shallow engineers.

The fact that you noticed this in 1st year already puts you ahead of 80% students.

Should you DROP OUT and prepare for JEE / VITEEE / SRMJEEE?

Although VIT/SRM is better than Sairam Engineering College, but you may face the same problem. You will not face this type of problem only in some top IITs, but getting seat in those IITs will be difficult.
Instead of dropping immediately, consider:

???? Strategy:

Stay enrolled (degree security)

Reduce emotional investment in college rules

Use:

GitHub

Open-source projects

Hackathons

Internships (remote)

Hardware / software self-projects

This way:

College = formality

Learning = self-driven

Risk = minimal

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x