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Intercaste Love Breakup: Torn Between Family and Love, What Do I Do?

Shalini Singh |149 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Question by Unique on Dec 07, 2024Hindi

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Relationship

Hy mam, my boyfriend broke up with for our caste he is Brahmin and I am khyatriy,so his parents denied our relationship and told him to broke up with me. we have only 2 month relationship.he also blocked me from every where,I love him so much so what should I do

Ans: He is not interested in taking this ahead...the sooner you accept this the better it is.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Hindi

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Hii Ma'am my boyfriend said our relationship will not be possible because of intercaste relationship and he told me his parents will not agree and my parents too. As I'm from schedule caste family and he is from general, his mother doesn't like me and she wants us to break up our relationship. So my boyfriend had break up with me, what should I do?

Ans: Hello Ms,
sorry to hear that you're going through a challenging situation. Inter-caste relationships can sometimes face societal and familial pressures, which can be difficult to navigate Try to understand the pressures your boyfriend may be facing from his family. Similarly, share your feelings and concerns with him. Empathy and understanding can be crucial in such situations. Consider your own values and priorities in a relationship. It's important to be with someone who respects and supports you despite societal norms. Assess whether you and your boyfriend share common values and are willing to navigate these challenges together.While it's important to fight for love, it's equally important to respect each other's choices. If, despite your efforts, your boyfriend is not willing to continue the relationship, it may be necessary to accept his decision and focus on healing. Remember, it's essential to be in a relationship where both partners feel respected and valued. If your boyfriend is unwilling to reconsider the relationship, it might be important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being in the long run. Take care of yourself emotionally and mentally. Breakups can be tough, and it's crucial to prioritize self-care during this period. Surround yourself with positive influences and engage in activities that bring you joy.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi

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Hi ma'am, I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday because he's not fully sure that he'll be able to convince his parents for the marriage. I am a Schedule caste and he's a Brahmin. I don't want to continue because it will make difficult for me to move on afterwards. Neither can I give up on him. He has been crying since last night but I think if he ever loved me he ought to take a stand for me.

Ans: i'm really sorry you're going through this. Breaking up with someone you love is incredibly hard, especially when it's due to societal and familial pressures. Your decision to step back reflects your strong understanding of your needs and boundaries, given the challenges of an inter-caste relationship.

Your boyfriend's distress shows he cares deeply, but it’s also clear that he’s struggling between his love for you and his family's expectations. Love involves making tough choices, and it’s valid to want a partner who can take a stand for you.

Take time to reflect on what you truly want and seek support from those close to you. Consider having an honest conversation with him to gain clarity about your future together. Remember, prioritizing your well-being and values is crucial, even when it means making difficult decisions.

Anu Krishna |1595 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 27, 2024Hindi

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Hi Ma'am. I love my boyfriend very much and it has just been 4 months to our relationship.He is the greenest ever flag I hv ever seen.he makes me happy and takes care of me really well.But when we think about our future,my parents are not gonna allow it as I am frm general caste and he is of scheduled caste.intercaste marriage won't be allowed by my parents.But I cant leave my boyfriend either. I love him.what should I do.shoukd I wait till the age of marriage and try my maximum to convince parents or breakup now knowing my parents won't allow it which I'm not able to as I love him

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
For now, focus on studies and build a future for yourself. You are young now and thinking of marriage can happen after a few years. Why waste time on thinking of what will happen and what won't when you should be building your career?
And it's just 4 months into the relationship; don't be too quick in painting colors on the flag. Also, how are you sure that it's not just a crush and it's a serious thing?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1595 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

Question by Krushika - Feb 14, 2025Hindi

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Iam 27 years old .me and my boyfriend were in relationship from the last 5 years.he is my childhood class met.during corona time we reconnected through social media .we are from same place .initially we both were good friends later we decided to start our relationship.i belong to low caste.and he belongs to upper caste.in those 5 years we shared our happiness, sorrows together .he was with me in every situation.he helped me emotionally mentally and financially.every thing went well .we planned out future together.later our parents got to know about our relationship.i convinced my parents.but his parents are not accepting our love because of my low caste..i even took my father and brother along with me to talk with his mother . I even begged his mother by touching her feet to accept our love.she told me that she wants to do his sons marriage with a girl who belong to their caste. His parents are telling him that they will leave the home town and go somewhere else if he marries me.my boyfriend is telling me that his parents especially his mothers health will be effected if he marry me and asking me to move on..I asked me that whether he is ok to marry the girls of their parents choice..he told me that he doesn't have any option other than listing to his parents..I'm totally devasted .I'm suffering with anxiety, depression and continuous thoughts ..i want him.he also loves me but he is not daring to marry mee.he is worrying about his parents..how to deal with this situation..pls help mee

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Honestly, drop him...the reason for this must be obvious to you by now. When he is not willing to take a stand for his love, what makes you think he's ever going to support you later in life?
Also, maybe he does not want to or fears going against his family. How can you change that? Surely your love isn't enough to convince him of being with you in this relationship; then what else can?

It's going to be hard to get away from all those feelings BUT you are better off without someone who is unable to take a stand for you. And when it comes to anxiety, practice deep breathing...it does help...If this is getting unbearable, then do seek professional help from someone who can guide you through this break-up and thereafter healing.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
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Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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I’m sorry to say that education is not like a vegetable market or a biryani stall; it's not something that can be resolved in a single day. Education is about building a career.

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Question by Jayesh - May 08, 2025

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Hi, My son got 18256 rank in JEE Mains 2025. His interest is in AI and machine learning. Based on last year's cutoff, we see that he may get admission in following colleges in either AI or CSE. 1. NIT Agartala, 2. BIT Mesra, Ranchi, 3. IIITDM, Kancheepuram, 4. IIIT, Naya Raipur In which order should we prefer these institutes? Do you suggest any other govt colleges? Thanks, Jayesh

Ans: Hello Jayesh.
Congratulations to you and your son. The options you put are all excellent. There is no need to search other options if he is getting admission to one the mentioned institutes.Yet to suggest, you can prefer either BIT Mesra or IIIT Raipur. Best of luck to your son for his bright future.
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My Son resident of MUMBAI, has Secured 17K Rank in the VITEE ENTERANCE EXAM and 75% In His HSC (12th BOARD - PYSC 65 CHEM 71 MTHS 55). He wants to JOIN VIT - VELLORE for B.Tech. Computer Science and Engineering (Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning). Will He be able to QUALIFY for the Above Course At VIT - VELLORE and What are Your Suggestion / Recommendation to Him. Also Which GOOD & REPUTED INSTITUTES CAN HE TARGET FOR THE SAME COURSE IN MUMBAI.

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You may shortlist health insurers based on following factors:

1. Incurred claims settlement ratio for 3 years atleast, preferable if available for 5 years.

2. List of network hospitals across the country and around the places that you generally operate. The more the better.

3. List of black listed hospitals so as to avoid them.

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Dear Guru's, I didn't renew my co-operate health insurance for my mom this year, thinking I'll get a private health insurance and my research kept on dragging till now to find one private health insurance..I did find...but suddenly now we have a situation for varicose vein treatment for my mom..now I'm without insurance in the hand....is there anything I can do...my co-operate insurance covers with no waiting period (can only purchase next year apr-2026)..but if I take a private health insurance now after 3 yr the treatment will be covered. I'm stuck now.. wether i should pay out of my own pocket or wait until next year...?

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It is entirely your mistake therefore no point in your Mother bearing brunt for the same by suffering with the disease till health cover is back.

Pay it from your pocket. If she is above 70 then Ayushman Bharat Yojana is applicable. If she is above 60 some state govt schemes are there but you need to check with state of her domicile.

Many charitable hospitals may offer treatment/surgery discount to senior citizens above 60 age.

And please do take adequate health care cover for you parents at the earliest.

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