I was in a 5-year relationship with a man I met online. We were really close and knew each other well but since last year things have been starting to feel off. We used to live in briefly and one day he changed his phone's password and became really secretive with his phone. I didn't bring it up because I didn't want to seem paranoid, but later I found out through his friend's social media that he was seeing someone else. I felt betrayed. It broke my trust, and I felt hurt. I've slowly begun to second guess every relationship since then. He didn't even apologise, but behaves like everything is normal. I have shifted to a new city but something inside me feels broken. How do I move on and feel normal again?

Hello Anu ma’am, I’m 30 years old female, working at an IT firm. I have been married for a year now. The marriage with my husband was arranged by our family members. I met him 2 months before we got married. We talked more during that period and the conversations were always pleasant and I felt care in them and finally made the decision that he is my match. Once we got married, things were good-to-okay in the first few months. I used to live with my in-laws and slowly noticed that he is moving away little by little. My connection with him started to feel weak. He and his mother would stop talking when I entered the room. I had to help more with house chores. I tried quite a lot to keep up with in-laws, husband, and work but soon sensed that mother in law and son have teamed up against me and everything I did was never satisfactory. The first thing that came up to my mind was to move out of the house with my husband and to start our relationship afresh. He didn’t like the idea and for my work reasons, I moved out and to the city where I work (which is a 3-hour drive from where he lives). This made the connection even worse. I used to go see him once or twice in a month but the relationship felt strained so I moved back within 3 months. Around this time he downloaded some dating apps on his mobile. When I asked him about it he said he downloaded out of curiosity and didn’t use it, but I can feel the change in him. Within 2 months I started to realise he’s being secretive with his phone or iPad and is spending a lot of time with them either texting or calls. I also noticed that he is talking to someone during the night while he is sleeping next to me. I felt betrayed and shattered to my core. All the things I learnt for him, all the things that I have done for him and his family, all the time and energy I have spent felt useless. When I confronted him he never accepted it and says it’s all in my head. I gave him some time leaving it aside thinking he would bounce back once he is done with it. So I asked him to move in with me so we could bond and spend time alone. We moved in together finally but things didn’t go as I expected. When I leave for work he would either go meet the woman or worse bring her home. He continued it and I ran out of patience. I talked about it with my family and his. My family supports my decision with whatever I would want to do and his family would back him up saying that they have brought their son up my utmost values and he wouldn’t do such a thing. So finally they have sent us back to our homes hoping things will be fine. He still talks to the woman every night and God knows how many times I cannot make it out in the day time. I’m sorry it’s a long read for you but I wasn’t sure what to express and what not to, for you to help me with a suggestion.I have tried to catch his act using technology but he is too clever to be caught. Trust me, I’m a tech lead at an IT firm and I have tried a lot of methods to catch him but all of them are valid-invalid proofs and he is quite a story teller to make them all look null.I feel nothing inside most of the times and simply want to come out of this but not without showing his true form. For once, I want to win. Win huge this way. If you can help me out I will be grateful for that. Please keep me anonymous if you could.Thanks a lot for reading this.

Dear Love Guru, From where should I begin? It's a rather complex one. Well, I was in a 6-year-old long distance relationship (we met on Facebook) it was a good one and he was the best friend I thought I wanted. Over the years though, I started seeing a controlling streak in him in whatever I did. Though we were only connected online but applications like Discord, having access to my accounts and passwords became a tool to keep tabs on me. I had no privacy of my own and the sad part, I didn't even realise it was toxic. He had taken hold of a lot of aspects of my life and I didn't even realise how unhealthy it is. It was last year when I lost my mother (having lost my father years back) when life hit me. I was completing first year of my MBA programme when this tragedy occurred. Her passing amidst the COVID 2nd wave was terrorising, to say the least. Thankfully, I had gem of friends who were there throughout. It was amidst this that I realised that there was an element of control in the support he provided. He didn't understand the magnitude of what I was going through and always undermined my efforts. There was no respect in him for me and for me there was no love left (when I introspect now I think I was more in love with idea of love rather than loving him) but I didn't realise this because I was so habituated with him. My MBA summer internship started and I was paired with this batchmate who was also a classmate. I didn't know him because COVID ensured that first year of PG is completely online. When I first met him. I found him to be stiff, rude and cribbing. I didn't realise he was an introvert. Eventually, I started warming up to him with us travelling almost two months together there developed a thickness. We bonded over our shared state, food and sadness of losing our mothers. I didn't even realise when I started getting attracted to him and neither did he. But when I did the first thing that I did was to break up with the guy I was with because for the first time in six years I was tilting towards someone else and I knew that this was it for us. The break-up was long, tiresome and hurtful for both of us. I hated hurting him but I couldn't be with him and suffocate myself any longer. We tried to wish each other well but then when has all this been anything but ending up in a train wreck and now we don't have any contact with each other. I keep him in prayers and wishes because I know he is not a bad human being it's just that I allowed him to walk over me and he kept on doing it without realising what he is doing is mental abuse. But it's not the story of me and my ex. It's the story of the guy I have come to love. The rude, stiff and cribby guy… who knew he would turn out be this sensitive, loving and appreciative soul. I got what I always wanted from someone I loved: respect, trust and appreciation. It's not like I don't have fights with him or arguments but there is a dialogue at the end. He understands where he went wrong and so do I. I am finally in a happy, healthy relationship. The only issue here is we both are from two different religions, I am H and he is M. This often makes me feel that there is a timer to us. We are two highly educated people from urban India, completing our post-graduation from one of India's top B-schools with great placements in hand and still the noose of society and religion is tied around our neck. I try not to think of us in the long term but I am on that side of 20s now that settling down is always on my mind. Especially after losing my parents, I often crave a family that is my own. There is also a hint of loss hovering over me. I still haven't moved on from losing my mother and I don't think I ever will. But last one year has been a roller coaster ride with major decisions and incidences. How do I wrap my head around all of this? Now, here I am between love, life and ambitions. Asking you what to do? Where to go? Which road should be taken? Regards, R PS: Please ensure anonymity.

Currently, I am in a relationship with my boyfriend for the past 5 months. He has been in love with me for the last 5 years and I have been aware about it. We had a love hate relationship for the last 5 years where I have also dated another guy. But after getting into a relationship with him, I came to know that he had gone out with other girls, while he had claimed that he was in love with me and could not be with anyone else. I am aware that since we were not together, he was allowed to hangout with other females and maybe get a bit physically close to them, but now I cannot wrap my mind around the fat that he did those. The thought of him with someone else disturbs me, and I have a pretty hard time trusting him. We have had discussions at length with him, but nothing seems to dissolve my uncomfortability towards it. I do love him a lot and want this to work out and he claims to love me a lot as well. What do I do?

Hi Mam.. I'm 44 yrs female widow resides with my 2 children and my MIL. In the year 2022 i lost my husband due to heart attack and currently working in state government education department. Last year i joined a social media group and interact with a person. He is a married man but we both agreed to this relationship. This is our anniversary year and since from starting of this month he is acting differently. No calls, no messages, only does when it is suitable to his time frame. There were difference of options and fights included which we both denying. Earlier it was not like this. We met thrice in a year. Since I'm emotionally committed to the person I can't forget him and don't even want to move on but it seems there is nothing left between this relationship anymore, especially my intuition sensing the future. Kindly help me and suggest what I can do to overcome this. TIA.