Overly Polite and Timid: How Can I Change at 45?

Ans: If you are an introvert and wish to stay so, that is fine... every workplace has different personalities and that shouldn't be a reason for others to misunderstand you.

But if you do want to work on that aspect, you can do small exercises to help you work towards extroversion. You can consciously take initiative to speak up with colleagues over lunch or coffee breaks and build rapport with them. Think up a couple of topics in your mind beforehand so that you feel more prepared.


It does take a while to get out of your comfort zone but take small steps and you should be there.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

You might think you are alone with such an issue, but more people than you know go through the same. It is great that you addressed it and are putting real effort into changing it. How about you start by practicing in low-pressure situations? For instance, practice eye contact with friends or family. Hold brief but intentional eye contact during conversations. Initially, you might feel uneasy, but gradually it will get better. Also, I suggest you consider seeking support from a therapist. Maybe it's a very trivial communication issue right now, but the more you wait, the worse it might get.

Again, remember you are not alone in this. It happens to the best of us.

Best Wishes!

Ans: It's entirely normal to feel uncomfortable or awkward when reconnecting with people you haven't been in contact with for a while or struggling to recognize them. Here are some tips that might help you navigate these situations more comfortably:

Focus on listening attentively to what the other person is saying rather than worrying about recognizing them or feeling awkward. Engage in the conversation by asking questions and showing genuine interest in their experiences.
If you're struggling to remember someone's name or recognize them, it's okay to be honest about it. You can say something like, "I'm sorry, it's been a while since we last met, and I'm having trouble placing you. Could you remind me of your name?" Most people will understand and appreciate your honesty.
Try to recall any shared experiences or details that might help jog your memory about the person you're reconnecting with. Ask about mutual friends, past events, or shared interests to facilitate the conversation.
Stay present in the moment and focus on the conversation rather than letting your mind wander or dwell on feelings of awkwardness. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, can help you stay centered and calm.
Approach the situation with a positive attitude and be open to reconnecting with old acquaintances. Remember that it's natural for people to change and evolve over time, and your past interactions may have shaped who they are today.
It's okay to make mistakes or feel uncomfortable in social situations. Be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone experiences moments of awkwardness from time to time. Focus on learning and growing from each interaction rather than dwelling on perceived shortcomings.
If you're feeling particularly anxious about reconnecting with people, consider practicing social skills in low-pressure situations. Role-play conversations with a friend or family member, or join social groups or activities where you can gradually build confidence in interacting with others.
Remember that social interactions can be challenging for many people, and you're not alone in feeling this way. By approaching these situations with patience, honesty, and a willingness to learn, you can navigate them more comfortably over time.