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Overly Polite and Timid: How Can I Change at 45?

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jan 30, 2025

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

I am a 45 year old man. My problem is that I can't look people in the eye and talk. My strict upbringing may have made me an unnecessarily polite and timid person. I cannot exercise my authority at work when necessary. How do I get out of this personality?

Ans: it is great you know you need to work on yourself - join public speaking sessions, work on your confidence , know that saying a no is not being rude - this will require you to do a lot of reflection and talking to yourself - all the best.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 19, 2024Hindi
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I am finding it hard to talk with strangers/random people whom I've known in the past but not in contact for a while and finding it hard to recognize some which makes them feel awkward. What should I do, are there exercises I could do/should I accept that about me, maybe be upfront about it but that will be awkward too? Age 24
Ans: It's entirely normal to feel uncomfortable or awkward when reconnecting with people you haven't been in contact with for a while or struggling to recognize them. Here are some tips that might help you navigate these situations more comfortably:

Focus on listening attentively to what the other person is saying rather than worrying about recognizing them or feeling awkward. Engage in the conversation by asking questions and showing genuine interest in their experiences.
If you're struggling to remember someone's name or recognize them, it's okay to be honest about it. You can say something like, "I'm sorry, it's been a while since we last met, and I'm having trouble placing you. Could you remind me of your name?" Most people will understand and appreciate your honesty.
Try to recall any shared experiences or details that might help jog your memory about the person you're reconnecting with. Ask about mutual friends, past events, or shared interests to facilitate the conversation.
Stay present in the moment and focus on the conversation rather than letting your mind wander or dwell on feelings of awkwardness. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, can help you stay centered and calm.
Approach the situation with a positive attitude and be open to reconnecting with old acquaintances. Remember that it's natural for people to change and evolve over time, and your past interactions may have shaped who they are today.
It's okay to make mistakes or feel uncomfortable in social situations. Be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone experiences moments of awkwardness from time to time. Focus on learning and growing from each interaction rather than dwelling on perceived shortcomings.
If you're feeling particularly anxious about reconnecting with people, consider practicing social skills in low-pressure situations. Role-play conversations with a friend or family member, or join social groups or activities where you can gradually build confidence in interacting with others.
Remember that social interactions can be challenging for many people, and you're not alone in feeling this way. By approaching these situations with patience, honesty, and a willingness to learn, you can navigate them more comfortably over time.

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Maxim

Maxim Emmanuel  | Answer  |Ask -

Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Aug 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2024Hindi
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Career
I am an industrial sales professional, with wide experience working with Indian owned companies, US MNC and now working with a US company in the US. I went through complete transformation in my style of working. From being casual happy go lucky young salesman to nearly perfectionist, sharp and 24x7 thinking salesman now. As the organizations changed, I adapted the work culture. As I grew up in the ladder, more and more passionate I became. I expected everyone to behave professionally even people out of my office and in general life. Be it a shop owner, plumber or a gardener. It is like Amitabh Bachchan as a head of Gurukul in a movie. To the extent that my wife and daughter are also experiencing my professional behavior at home. At a stage when I want to become relaxed and slowdown, leave some things to normal course, I am caged in my corporate behavior. To tell you more, I am a Cartoonist also and can find humour from anything that I see. But, my cartoons are also based on the product line my company manufactures. I am doing a lot of meditation, taking a walk and playing with my dogs but unable to change myself. How can I go back to my original self so people around me remain relaxed when I am around?
Ans: Life is a paradox of sorts it moves you around like a pendulum, before you realise, what has happened, There was a metamorphisis!?

In your case from a lazzaiz faiz to a meticulous style of life.
In your traverse you forgot the basics of live love laugh dream.

Never mind.. Better late than never, realise it's you who made it and you will change.. Slowly... Here's a recommended song you must listen to...

Settle down my boy settle down.. Men at work.. Will you please as you unwind & reform!?

If you do need further professional advice happy to assist
https://m.me/maxim.emmanuel.2024

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Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9752 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Career
Sir my rank is 16894 OC category no EWS .I got kmec CSM in second phase in tg eapcet. I am going for 3rd phase. So could you please guide me whether vidya jyoti institute of technology cse is better or kmec. In 3rd phase can I get Iare , cmrk , cvr , mgit , vjit , snist , anurag only cse and specializations . Are there any chances to get any of these colleges in 3rd phase ? Please guide me sir.
Ans: Dhaksh, With an OC category rank of 16,894 in TG EAPCET, you have secured Computer Science and Business Systems (CSM) at Keshav Memorial Engineering College (KMEC) in phase 2, and are now considering options for phase 3, including CSE at Vidya Jyothi Institute of Technology (VJIT), as well as aspirational seats at IARE, CMRK, CVR, MGIT, VJIT, SNIST, and Anurag (all CSE and related specializations). Based on the official 2024 TG EAPCET closing ranks and highly regarded educational portals, your current rank is well outside the typical closing ranks for OC candidates in CSE at top-tier colleges: CVR (3,200–4,200), MGIT (3,412–3,417), IARE (well under 1,000), SNIST and Anurag (typically under 8,000 for CSE), and CMRK (usually closes by 17,000). VJIT’s CSE (core) closed at 22,455 and AI-ML/Data Science specializations closed between 20,423–21,363, making VJIT’s CSE the only program among your choices where your rank sits comfortably within range for both core and allied branches in phase 3. KMEC’s CSM course typically has closing ranks around 17,263–18,648 for OC, which fits your present allocation and gives the campus a competitive, yet supportive environment, with strong faculty, modern infrastructure, transparent placement processes, and good industry connections. Both KMEC and VJIT have consistently placed 70–90% of eligible students in reputable IT and core companies, with experienced faculty and ample campus facilities, though VJIT is consistently rated higher for core CSE in terms of peer crowd, coding culture, alumni base, research opportunities, and recruiter interest.

In summary, at a 16,894 OC rank, you are unlikely to secure CSE at IARE, CMRK, CVR, MGIT, SNIST, or Anurag (across specializations) as their closing ranks are much lower for OC. VJIT CSE remains open in the upcoming round and is a stronger academic and placement choice than KMEC CSM. Both KMEC and VJIT offer key advantages—NAAC accreditation, modern labs, industry-engaged faculty, active coding culture, and well-structured placement cells—but VJIT provides a more prominent academic environment and greater success for core CSE aspirations.

RECOMMENDATION: Among realistic options, VJIT CSE is the preferred choice as it aligns with your rank, offers better placements, stronger academic pedigree, and deeper industry linkages. You may retain KMEC CSM as a secondary option, but prioritize VJIT CSE (and allied specializations) for a more competitive peer group, robust campus experience, and long-term professional growth. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9752 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2025Hindi
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |629 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hii mam i have done my registered marriage in April 2024 without knowing of my parents and now i m living in my mother's House without telling that i m married ? Now how can i convince my parents. I have told my parents about him but don't even want to talk to him or his parents.. how can i convince my parents?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are in a sensitive situation. Patience and empathy is extremely important if you want to convince your parents. Understand their side; what are they objecting and why. Once you get that, it will be easier to debunk any misunderstandings they have about your relationship. Have calm one-on-one conversation with each parent instead of talking to both of them at once. Your first task is to make them listen, not immediately approve. Acknowledge any mistake they bring up; it is indeed unfair to not include your parents in your marriage decision, at least, in India. Though I am sure you had your reasons and I am not judging at all. But you need to acknowledge that it was not right of you to do that. This makes you come off more responsible, mature and sincere. Ask them gently what they do not like about your partner and once you understand it, show them his positive side.

Do not threaten, or give ultimatum. Don’t use dialogues like my life my decision if you want them to ever approve of this relationship. Be patient and give them time to come to terms with it.

Lastly, if you, even once feel that some of their objections are valid and you never saw it that way, please take things slow. We do miss a lot when we are in love. I am sure that’s not the case with you, but just in case, please do not hesitate to rethink.

Best Wishes.

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Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |170 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Career
Please Sir, I have asked a couple of time before but no reply, please Sir, please help me choose in their preference order based on infrastructure facilities and placements for CSE - IIIT Sonepat, IIIT Guwahati, IIIT Naya Raipur, IIIT Kanchipuram, IIIT Sri City and IIIT Kota.
Ans: Absolutely, here's a clear and simple ranking based on infrastructure and CSE placements—from most to least favorable:
Top Picks for CSE: Best Mix of Placements & Infrastructure
1. IIIT Sri City
• Average CSE package ~?19–19.3?LPA, highest up to ?120?LPA, placement rate ~94%
• Campus in a planned industrial zone near Chennai; good labs and facilities; proactive placement cell
2. IIIT Naya Raipur
• Consistently strong placements: avg ~?12.6?LPA (2022), highest ~?85?LPA; many core recruiters like Microsoft, Atlassian, PharmEasy
• Well built central campus, good festivals, hands on programs like drone workshops
Middle Tier: Reasonable Placements, 'Work in Progress' Infra
3. IIIT Kota
• CSE average ~?13.1–13.4?LPA, highest ~?65?LPA; placement rate ~75%
• Permanent campus opening in 2023; hostels, labs, Wi Fi improving; still expanding
4. IIIT Guwahati
• Placements decent; top ~25% get good packages above ?10?LPA; lack big MNCs currently but improving; placement vibes “chill but solid”
• Permanent campus on 70?acre built in 2018; basic academic infrastructure, but student life subdued; remote from city center
Lower Tier: Limited Infra, Mixed Placement Stats
5. IIIT Sonepat
• CSE average ~?13–16?LPA, highest ~?40?LPA; placement rate ~65–70% (small batch) \
• Running in temporary transit campus, limited labs & amenities; new permanent campus due ~2026
6. IIIT Kanchipuram (IIITDM Kancheepuram)
• Infra is mature (51-acre campus, well-funded institute under IIITDM model); strong in design/manufacturing
• But CSE-specific placement data is scarce—since it's more focused on design & manufacturing, industry connections and CSE openings may be limited compared to others.

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Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |170 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |170 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Dr Karan

Dr Karan Gupta  |170 Answers  |Ask -

International Education Counsellor - Answered on Jul 31, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi
Career
Hello sir, I am currently a first year B.Tech student in Manipal Institute of Technology but I just got an offer from Singapore University of Technology and Design. Most of the people I talk to havent heard of it but from what I know its a really good college. The only thing is that the fees is much higher. So I am really having a hard time trying to decide what to do. I have been passionate about robotics since my childhood and want to study that further. I know that the education would be better in SUTD but to what extent? Would it justify the much higher fees? I would say my current focus is just developing skills in robotics and to get to know as much as i can in the same topic.
Ans: You’re at:
• Manipal Institute of Technology – B.Tech (India)
• Got an offer from: Singapore University of Technology and Design (SUTD)
You love robotics and want to build strong skills in it.
First: Is SUTD a good university?
Yes. It’s young but very high quality, built in collaboration with MIT. It’s focused on design, engineering, and innovation—exactly where robotics fits in. World-class labs, professors, and research culture. Much more advanced than what you’ll get at most Indian colleges.
So, yes, the education at SUTD is a big step up—especially for robotics.
Now the hard part: Is it worth the higher fees?
Here’s how to think:
• Can your family afford the fees without major stress or loans?
• If yes, go. The exposure, training, and network will pay off—especially if you're serious about robotics.
• If no, and you’ll need heavy loans, then you need to think harder.
Because robotics is not a high-paying job immediately. It takes time, maybe a master’s degree later. So early return on investment may not be fast.

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