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Overly Polite and Timid: How Can I Change at 45?

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |187 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jan 30, 2025

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jan 30, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

I am a 45 year old man. My problem is that I can't look people in the eye and talk. My strict upbringing may have made me an unnecessarily polite and timid person. I cannot exercise my authority at work when necessary. How do I get out of this personality?

Ans: it is great you know you need to work on yourself - join public speaking sessions, work on your confidence , know that saying a no is not being rude - this will require you to do a lot of reflection and talking to yourself - all the best.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |657 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 19, 2024Hindi
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I am finding it hard to talk with strangers/random people whom I've known in the past but not in contact for a while and finding it hard to recognize some which makes them feel awkward. What should I do, are there exercises I could do/should I accept that about me, maybe be upfront about it but that will be awkward too? Age 24
Ans: It's entirely normal to feel uncomfortable or awkward when reconnecting with people you haven't been in contact with for a while or struggling to recognize them. Here are some tips that might help you navigate these situations more comfortably:

Focus on listening attentively to what the other person is saying rather than worrying about recognizing them or feeling awkward. Engage in the conversation by asking questions and showing genuine interest in their experiences.
If you're struggling to remember someone's name or recognize them, it's okay to be honest about it. You can say something like, "I'm sorry, it's been a while since we last met, and I'm having trouble placing you. Could you remind me of your name?" Most people will understand and appreciate your honesty.
Try to recall any shared experiences or details that might help jog your memory about the person you're reconnecting with. Ask about mutual friends, past events, or shared interests to facilitate the conversation.
Stay present in the moment and focus on the conversation rather than letting your mind wander or dwell on feelings of awkwardness. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, can help you stay centered and calm.
Approach the situation with a positive attitude and be open to reconnecting with old acquaintances. Remember that it's natural for people to change and evolve over time, and your past interactions may have shaped who they are today.
It's okay to make mistakes or feel uncomfortable in social situations. Be kind to yourself and recognize that everyone experiences moments of awkwardness from time to time. Focus on learning and growing from each interaction rather than dwelling on perceived shortcomings.
If you're feeling particularly anxious about reconnecting with people, consider practicing social skills in low-pressure situations. Role-play conversations with a friend or family member, or join social groups or activities where you can gradually build confidence in interacting with others.
Remember that social interactions can be challenging for many people, and you're not alone in feeling this way. By approaching these situations with patience, honesty, and a willingness to learn, you can navigate them more comfortably over time.

..Read more

Maxim

Maxim Emmanuel  | Answer  |Ask -

Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Aug 03, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2024Hindi
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Career
I am an industrial sales professional, with wide experience working with Indian owned companies, US MNC and now working with a US company in the US. I went through complete transformation in my style of working. From being casual happy go lucky young salesman to nearly perfectionist, sharp and 24x7 thinking salesman now. As the organizations changed, I adapted the work culture. As I grew up in the ladder, more and more passionate I became. I expected everyone to behave professionally even people out of my office and in general life. Be it a shop owner, plumber or a gardener. It is like Amitabh Bachchan as a head of Gurukul in a movie. To the extent that my wife and daughter are also experiencing my professional behavior at home. At a stage when I want to become relaxed and slowdown, leave some things to normal course, I am caged in my corporate behavior. To tell you more, I am a Cartoonist also and can find humour from anything that I see. But, my cartoons are also based on the product line my company manufactures. I am doing a lot of meditation, taking a walk and playing with my dogs but unable to change myself. How can I go back to my original self so people around me remain relaxed when I am around?
Ans: Life is a paradox of sorts it moves you around like a pendulum, before you realise, what has happened, There was a metamorphisis!?

In your case from a lazzaiz faiz to a meticulous style of life.
In your traverse you forgot the basics of live love laugh dream.

Never mind.. Better late than never, realise it's you who made it and you will change.. Slowly... Here's a recommended song you must listen to...

Settle down my boy settle down.. Men at work.. Will you please as you unwind & reform!?

If you do need further professional advice happy to assist
https://m.me/maxim.emmanuel.2024

..Read more

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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 25, 2026Hindi
Money
Lic policy jeevan aadhar for handicap son taken 1995 for 20 years. Life assured was my self father. Last premium paid in2015. 2026 son expired who was nominee This policy how our paid money with benefits wd be returned. Please advice. My age 70 and appointee 67 my wife still alive. Thanks.
Ans: I am very sorry to hear about your loss. This is an emotional situation along with a financial question. I will explain this in a simple and clear way so you can take the right steps.

» Understanding your policy structure

You have mentioned:

– Policy taken in 1995
– Premium paying term completed in 2015
– Life assured is yourself (father)
– Nominee/beneficiary was your son (who is now expired)
– You and your wife are alive

This type of policy was meant to support a dependent (your son) after the life assured.

» What happens when nominee (son) expires before claim

In such cases, the policy does not get cancelled.

Since:

– life assured (you) is still alive
– policy has already completed premium payment

The policy continues in force.

But the nominee benefit cannot be paid to your son now.

So the benefit will be payable to legal heirs or as per updated nomination.

» What are your options now

You have two main options.

Option 1 – Continue the policy till maturity or claim event

– policy will pay maturity or death benefit as per terms
– proceeds will go to legal heir / updated nominee
– you can update nomination now (for example, your wife)

Option 2 – Surrender or exit (if allowed)

– you may receive surrender value (if applicable)
– amount may be lower than full benefit
– depends on policy terms and current status

Before taking this step, it is important to check surrender value.

» Important step you must do immediately

Please update the nomination.

Since your son (nominee) has expired:

– submit a nomination change request
– add your wife or legal heir as nominee

Without this, claim settlement may get delayed later.

» How the money will be paid eventually

Depending on policy terms:

– either lump sum amount
– or annuity/pension type benefit

This will now go to the updated nominee or legal heir.

» Documents you should keep ready

– policy document
– your ID proof
– your son’s death certificate
– nominee update form
– bank details

These will be required for any future claim or update.

» Best practical step now

– visit nearest LIC branch
– explain full situation
– check current policy status
– confirm maturity benefit or claim structure
– update nomination immediately

Avoid relying only on assumptions because this policy type has specific conditions.

» Finally

Your policy is still valid because you (life assured) are alive. The benefit will not go to your expired son, but can be redirected to your legal heir after updating nomination.

Immediate action required is nomination update and policy status confirmation with LIC.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

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