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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |168 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2025

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Relationship

My ex and I broke up mutually after dating for 3 years. We stayed in touch casually on WhatsApp. He told me he got a new job in Bangalore and signed up for a dating app. I didn't react. A few months ago, I found out that he's getting arranged-married. I congratulated him casually. Since then, he has been sending me long, emotional texts at night saying how much he misses me, how he misses my food, hugs, how I once used to be his home, safe place. I feel confused and emotionally triggered again. I do have feelings for him, but I am not sure if this is the right time to reconsider, especially since there is another girl in his life right now. He said wanted to talk to me and find out if there is hope. If I respond, I feel like I am emotionally cheating on his fiancee. I feel bad and long for our old days. But my roommate says I should block him immediately. I feel selfish wanting him back. I also miss his companionship. Honestly after our break up, I haven't been able to date again. But is it too late now? Or is this destiny's way of correcting my mistake? I am 32, he is 34.

Ans: If we were you we would listen to your room-mate

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2022

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Dear Anu, I started a relationship with this guy, who I met on a dating app like a year back. I started to like him and everything was going fine. We started talking and soon our conversations steered towards talking about our future. However, he suddenly told me out of nowhere that he is a divorcee. His marriage was called off at the altar due to dowry issues. He and his family are embroiled in a dowry case which is going on. I was shocked and wanted to know the entire truth but he never came clear about what exactly happened. He told me that he cannot think of marriage and the future and wants to keep it casual. I was heartbroken and we fought a lot after which he suddenly stopped talking. After sometime he started talking again and said that he wants me back. He always makes plans to meet in hotels and spend nights with him. I started to grow distant, stopped taking his calls and tried to push him out. I also started to look out for matches, based on my age. I am 32, but nothing is materialising there. I started missing him and recently messaged him again. I lied to him that I am getting hitched and he said ‘okay let’s meet and spend a night together.’ I really don't know. I am amused that all he is really interested in is getting into my pants all the time. I am genuinely in love with him and he says it again now also he loves me. But his thoughts and words are not in sync. I am just not able to get over him. I have been trying hard since I decided to move on. Some thing or the other brings me back to him again and again. I am becoming more lonely, depressed all the more coz the marriage thing is also not picking up and I have no one.Please help.
Ans:

Dear BG,
What does it tell you about a person when he chooses to hide the fact that he is a divorcee and that too with a reason like dowry?

Doesn’t this ring any bell for you as a sign to the fact that he possibly can never be trusted when he can’t come clean with his life story?

And now the complication of being physically involved has added a dimension that makes you want to be around him even more?

The very fact that you have written to me is because you are revaluating your thoughts about him and GOOD, you must and ask yourself:

Is he really worth my love, time and energy?

Has he done anything to earn my trust?

If it’s a big NO, you know that this guy isn’t the last man on the planet and that just because you are unable to find a suitable life partner, you need to settle for this man.

No, you don’t need to settle and pine for someone who has not bothered to take your feelings into considerations and not much of thought as to: if she finds out about my past, how will she react?

So let me be the one to tell her rather than she hear it from someone else.

Instead, he chooses to defend his decision of hiding this and to top it all stops talking to you.

Why exactly is he playing the victim when he isn’t? Because, he feels that it isn’t his problem and that it is yours and that you need to be making all the adjustments IF you want a future with him.

Did all this give you a good perspective?

Do the right thing and Love yourself. All the best.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |609 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
A guy had a crush on me. He started contacting me then confessed that he likes me. . Then gradually i happened to really like him. I started reciprocating my feelings and we were constantly in touch after being vocal on how much we like each other. After few months he started to show low energy then stopped contacting me. When i tried to reach him again he said we can be bestfriends and that I'll always be his crush. Nothing more than that. I was extremely hurt. Suddenly after week's he texted me saying Thankyou as he cleared his university Exam (i helped him out) . What should I do now. Shall I respond or not. And does he want me back or what's going inside him
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is very difficult to tell what’s going on in someone’s mind, or how feelings change suddenly; it is unfair but it’s very common. If he has clearly mentioned that he does not want anything romantic with you, it is best to not pursue. I understand that it has hurt you, and maybe somewhere, it has also hurt your ego, but it is best to respect his boundaries. Coming to responding to his message- since he has thanked you for your help, it would be decent to reply; you can do it with a simple “you are welcome.” But I won’t force you to do it; if you think that he doesn’t deserve it, then you can avoid it. But if you are wondering if he wants you back, as an onlooker, I didn’t see any indication of that. Then again, as I mentioned, it is difficult to tell what’s going on in someone’s mind. If you want clarity, you should have an open discussion and ask him about it. That much explanation he owes you.

Hope this helps

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I was in a relationship rather I can say love bonding with a man who is 7yrs elder to me. We both loved each other. It was 2yrs of relationship and it was strong from my side. But we had a religious/spiritual constraints to get married . Elders did not agree to get us married. Finally he left because of this reason and married another girl. I was depressed for 2 yrs then gradually came back to normal. My instincts still tell that he liked me but he never reached out to me after that. It’s been 15yrs and I still think of him even though I’m happily married. There is never a single day I don’t think about him. Recently I texted him casually without bringing the past in our conversation. He was chatting normally , but suddenly he restricted me and stopped texting. He came into my life like a rescue as I was mentally very weak facing family issues. I can never forget him For being with me and for having given me happy days atleast until He was with me. I used to Feel so happy to be with him and talk to him all day. Off late I’m thinking of him all the time and want to see him and talk to Him. I know it’s wrong and not good to disturb his life but why not just 10mins to express how I felt when he left me?? I really miss that I am Not able to spend the rest of my life with him.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, you have chosen not to move on...Yes, as hard as that hits you, this is the truth...you are still pining for someone who has clearly moved on. Your attempts at reaching out to him in the hope that he will respond has already been met with disappointment!
Why go through the pain all over again?
Now, let's get to the main point of your LOVE right now...does it not seem that you are finding reasons to be with him...like, he helped me out during this time and that...that you felt happy talking to him all day...
When you base your happiness on anything/anyone outside of you, do know that it is temporary and never ends well...So, rather than basing all your happiness on him, find other reasons to be happy without involving him or anything else.
A bit difficult initially, but not impossible!
De-focus by building strong personal and professional goals for yourself. Reach out to a friend who will be of support as your go through this phase of releasing your past. Physical pain is real, Emotional pain is a choice...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2025Hindi
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Dear Anu, I am a highly introvert girl with no friends and is preparing for a tough competitive exam. I love a guy and was dating him for 5 years. Due to our diametrically opposite career choices, uncertain future, and for 2 years long distance, he broke up with me. We talked about reconciliation in future if things turned out in our favour. But I feel he is indifferent regarding the breakup as he went to Goa just after that. In frustration I texted a guy from my inbox who wanted to meet me. So I met him. He is good, intellectual and highly principled. We never formally asked each other to date but he was helping me out for my exams and we achieved many milestones together. But after some time I got introduced to his short temper and dominating behaviour which bothers me a lot and I talked about it many times with him. I cry every single day (it's been 5 months now) since I broke up. Met a new guy I don't really love but he has done a lot for me so I don't want to hurt him. I am facing this mental turmoil whether to stay in this new relationship or should I wait for my ex to reconcile with me as I still love him a lot.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What you need is a good break away from relationships. Till you learn to appreciate yourself, no one else is going to!
You have just on a rebound gotten into another relationship and obviously when you are in a weak place, his dominant nature is going to be prominent.
Heart breaks are very difficult BUT before you process it, you have jumped into the arms of another. When I say, 'process', it means evaluating what went wrong and what was right in the previous relationship. This will help you in understanding what you want in a relationship and how to spot red flags in one.
That is why I keep stressing on: Heal from a relationship fully before jumping into another one.
So, at this point, you need a break from it all...you will be doing yourself a huge favor...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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