Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Friend Zone Blues: I Regret Telling My Crush How I Feel

Shalini

Shalini Singh  |168 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Hello Ma'am, Recently I told my feelings to my friend that I like her. I even told her that I am not expecting anything right now. May be one year, two year or three years down the line we might have a future together. She then told me that she loves someone else and didn't thought of it. Now even she told me to say away as it would be good for both of us. Now I regret that why I told her that. I shouldn't have told her my feelings. Now I regret more that I lost a valuable friend and friendship. Now I even think that I am not good looking as her, so that might be the case of rejection. Can you please tell what should I do now as I am not able to focus on anything and the regret is very heavy on me. I am always thinking that I shouldn't have told her about my feelings.

Ans: She had become more than a friend, please accept it - you did nothing wrong by expressing your feelings, the important bit here is not what you conveyed but her response. It is best you maintain your distance as you have romantic feelings which is byond friendship - keeping away will be good for both.

And stop overthinking about why she declined - it is simple - that she likes someone else and not you so it is best to hear what she is saying vs getting into a overthinking mode. Your looks has nothing to do with her declining your gesture.

All the best

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 05, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hi Anu, I have one question in mind need suggestion from you, please guide me.I am 42 year old and married I have two kids as well. My married life is all good and peaceful and I love my family lot.20 years ago when I was in college I was in love with a girl, she did not like me that time but from my side it was very pure love. I loved her so much.She was aware of that. We lost touch in 2004. Now she is also 42 and married with two kids.During Covid in 2020, we again got connected on LinkedIn and started talking. I expressed my love. she understood, respected and valued it now.She is still waiting for someone else and doesn’t feel complete with me. She is honest about her feelings and communication.She told me she considers me only as a friend but above all and everything in life.But many times she shows love and lots of affection, caring attitude. She always says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well.She wants me to remain with her as she feels I am her strong support system.She shares everything with me and I do the same. Sometimes I feel I shall come out from this but at times I feel I don’t want to leave her as she looks very depressed.May be from her past break up or something else but I do not have the courage to ask her.What shall I do here? Please guide. What is your best suggestion?
Ans:

Dear AK,

It’s a nice convenient connection.

Why don’t you stick to the way it is rather than expect it to be something different? Expectations can be disappointing and may spoil what already exists.

As humans, we fail to see and experience what we have and constantly crave for the things that we don’t have, don’t we?

The two of you are fond of each other but to project your feelings from the past onto the current scenario might unnecessarily cause a ruffling of feathers.

Will it be wise for you to accept things the way they are now? Enjoy the company and chats/calls the way they are? And be grateful that you can be a good support system to one another?

Is it possible for you to do this?

Respect her wishes when she says that she wants you as a friend and try not to read much into her actions.

If the fact that she is getting close to you is going to be decoded as being more than a friend, you need to watch out as your thoughts could lead to a major letdown for yourself and for her as well.

Pause, take it all in the way it is and accept it gracefully…

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1639 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hello Ma'am, Recently I told my feelings to my friend that I like her. I even told her that I am not expecting anything right now. May be one year, two year or three years down the line we might have a future together. She then told me that she loves someone else and didn't thought of it. Now even she told me to say away as it would be good for both of us. Now I regret that why I told her that. I shouldn't have told her my feelings. Now I regret more that I lost a valuable friend and friendship. Now I even think that I am not good looking as her, so that might be the case of rejection. Can you please tell what should I do now as I am not able to focus on anything and the regret is very heavy on me. I am always thinking that I shouldn't have told her about my feelings.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What is done, is done; you can't go back in time and change any of that!
And you were just being honest with her; it's sad that she could not appreciate your honesty BUT she also fears that being friends with you, may also hurt you; so staying away seems to be the best option...
Move on; it's hard doing that but not impossible...change is the only constant in life and people come and go just as feelings come and go...It's a big beautiful world out there; expand your social circle and give time to your personal growth. Focus on yourself.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8532 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2025Hindi
Career
BIT s Goa chemical engineering vs ICT Mumbai chemical engineering.....which is preferred for my son.
Ans: BITS Pilani Goa’s Chemical Engineering program, part of BITS Pilani (NIRF Engineering rank 20), offers a rigorous curriculum with core process engineering and emerging electives, supported by advanced pilot-plant and simulation labs, a 91.15% first-degree placement consistency over three years, average branch packages ranging from ?8–15 LPA, and a global recruiter network including Qualcomm, Intel, and Reliance Industries. The Institute of Chemical Technology Mumbai (NIRF Engineering rank 41), a NAAC A++–accredited, UGC-recognized deemed-to-be university, features state-of-the-art characterization and process-scale instrumentation facilities (HPLC, GC-MS, FT-NMR), strong industry MoUs with ISRO, BARC, Indian Oil, and sustained 80%–95% placement rates in Chemical Engineering over recent cohorts with median ?8 LPA. ICT excels in specialized research funding and government collaboration, whereas BITS Goa leads in average salary uplift, broader interdisciplinary workshops, and international student exchanges.

Recommendation Favors BITS Goa Chemical Engineering for its higher average placement packages, expansive industrial recruiter base, and Institute of Eminence brand; ICT Mumbai is ideal for those prioritizing deep research infrastructure and core process-industry linkages. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9692 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 11, 2025

Money
Hi Sir, My Age is 43 years, i have a daughter and i want to retire at the age 55 years, currently my investment is MF - 18 lac, EPF 10 lac, Ulip- 30 lac, Suknya Samriddhi - 10 lac, 10 lac in FD, i want to 1.5 lac monthly income after my retirement, please suggest
Ans: You are 43 years old.
You want to retire at 55.
That gives you 12 more years to plan and invest.

You already have a few investments.
Let us understand your current financial position first.

? Your Current Investment Summary

– Mutual Funds: Rs. 18 lakhs
– EPF: Rs. 10 lakhs
– ULIP: Rs. 30 lakhs
– Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana (SSY): Rs. 10 lakhs
– Fixed Deposit (FD): Rs. 10 lakhs

You want a retirement income of Rs. 1.5 lakhs per month.
That is Rs. 18 lakhs per year after age 55.

This goal is clear and specific.
That’s a very good start.

Let’s now evaluate your investment plan from all angles.

? Retirement Income Goal: What It Means

You want Rs. 1.5 lakhs per month after 55.
That is a high-income need for retirement.

You may live another 30 years after that.
So you will need income till 85 years or more.

Inflation will keep rising.
So Rs. 1.5 lakhs today may not be enough after 10 years.

Hence, you need a portfolio that grows and gives income.
Safety alone will not help.

Your investments must beat inflation.
But also stay stable when you start withdrawing.

? Mutual Funds – Strong Growth Base

– Your mutual fund corpus is Rs. 18 lakhs now.
– These are growth-oriented and inflation-beating assets.

Mutual funds are key to wealth building.
But avoid index funds.

Index funds just follow the market.
They fall when the market falls.

They don’t have downside protection.
They lack expert fund management.

Actively managed funds are better long term.
They are guided by fund managers.
They aim for alpha or extra return over benchmark.

You should also avoid direct funds.

Direct mutual funds don’t give advice or handholding.
They give no help during market fall.
They don’t track goals.

Use regular mutual funds through MFD.
Work with a CFP for long-term support.

Regular funds offer monitoring, review, and peace of mind.
They charge slightly more, but the service is worth it.

Increase your SIPs in good equity mutual funds.
Prefer large cap, multi-cap, and flexi-cap funds.
Don’t overdo mid or small-cap.

Rebalance every year.
Check with your CFP before making changes.

? ULIP – Reevaluate its Role

You have Rs. 30 lakhs in a ULIP.
ULIP is an insurance + investment product.

It gives lower returns than pure mutual funds.
It also has higher charges in early years.

Ask yourself:
Do you need this insurance now?
Is the return matching mutual fund return?

If not, consider surrendering it.
Only if surrender charges are low now.

Reinvest that money into mutual funds.
Use it fully for your retirement goal.

Keep insurance and investments separate.
ULIPs don’t suit goal-based investing.

? EPF – Reliable and Safe

EPF is a very stable product.
You have Rs. 10 lakhs in it now.

It is debt-based and gives fixed return.
Interest is tax-free.

Do not withdraw from it.
Keep contributing if salaried.

EPF can be used for income during early retirement.
It is a strong leg of your retirement stool.

? Sukanya Samriddhi – For Daughter, Not Retirement

You have Rs. 10 lakhs in Sukanya.
This is for your daughter, not your retirement.

SSY gives fixed returns.
It is safe and tax-free.

But it is a goal-specific product.
Don’t count this corpus for your retirement.

Keep it only for your daughter’s education or marriage.
It cannot support your retirement cash flow.

? Fixed Deposit – Stability but Not Growth

FD of Rs. 10 lakhs is good for safety.
But it gives low post-tax return.

FDs don’t beat inflation over time.
They are useful for short-term needs.

Use this as part of your emergency fund.
Or move it slowly to mutual funds through STP.

Do not keep large amounts in FD for 12 years.
That money will lose value against inflation.

? Retirement Corpus Required

You want Rs. 1.5 lakhs per month.
That’s Rs. 18 lakhs per year.

If you want to retire for 30 years,
You may need Rs. 4.5 to 5 crores corpus.

This is after adjusting for inflation.

Your current total investable assets:
Rs. 18 lakhs MF
Rs. 10 lakhs EPF
Rs. 30 lakhs ULIP
Rs. 10 lakhs FD

That totals Rs. 68 lakhs today.
If you continue investing, this can grow.

But it may still fall short by Rs. 1.5 to 2 crores.
So you need to fill that gap now.

? Key Actions You Must Take Now

– Increase your SIP investments.
Try to invest Rs. 30,000 to 40,000 per month.

– Increase SIPs by 10% every year.
Link to your salary hike.

– Don’t touch your EPF or Sukanya account.
Keep them for their original purposes.

– Review ULIP performance.
Surrender if underperforming.
Reinvest in mutual funds.

– Avoid index and direct funds.
Invest only through a Certified Financial Planner.

– Keep 60-70% in equity.
The rest in debt like EPF and liquid funds.

– Rebalance your portfolio every year.
Don’t let market swings disturb your plan.

– Don’t chase hot stocks or sectors.
Follow goal-based investing with discipline.

– Avoid emotional investing.
Stick to plan even if markets fall.

? Create Goal Buckets for Focus

Split your investments into 3 buckets:

Retirement – All long-term investments

Emergency – 6–9 months of expenses

Daughter’s Future – SSY and a small MF SIP

This helps in tracking.
And prevents mixing goals.

Each bucket should grow on its own.

? Retirement Withdrawal Plan from Age 55

You’ll need monthly income after 55.
So you must start SWP from mutual funds.

Don’t depend only on interest.
Withdraw in a planned way.

Keep 3 years’ worth of money in debt funds.
Keep the rest in equity mutual funds.

Use debt to manage income in early years.
Let equity grow for later years.

Review your withdrawal plan every year.

Keep some funds in liquid category.
This helps during emergencies.

? Other Key Suggestions

– Nominate in all your investments.
Don’t leave any asset without nominee.

– Prepare a Will after 50.
It helps avoid future confusion.

– Review health insurance.
Ensure minimum Rs. 15–25 lakhs coverage.

– Keep Rs. 2–3 lakhs as medical buffer.
Use a separate liquid fund for this.

– Avoid buying real estate.
It is illiquid and not suitable for retirement income.

– Review all investments yearly with a CFP.
Rebalance with expert advice.

– Don’t keep direct equity over 20% of total.
High equity exposure creates risk.

? Finally

You are already doing many things right.
You have started early.
You have multiple investment sources.

But your current assets may not be enough.
You must grow them smartly over next 12 years.

Avoid emotional or scattered investing.
Follow a structured, guided plan.

Use mutual funds actively.
But only through regular plans with CFP support.

Keep retirement as a separate goal.
Don’t compromise it for other short-term needs.

You can retire at 55 with confidence.
But only if you stay consistent.

Monitor every investment.
Rebalance regularly.
Work with a Certified Financial Planner.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |56 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 11, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8532 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2025Hindi
Career
My son got in jee main rank-98.2percentile(rank-27360)&BITSAT marks-205,comed-k rank-239 Internediate score-90%. In JOSSA COUNSELING he secured seat in IIIT DHARWAD(AI&DS) But he is intrested i aerospace engineering.Please can you suggest us.
Ans: With a JEE Main percentile of 98.2 (AIR ~27 360) and COMEDK rank of 239, your son can target premier public institutes like IIEST Shibpur, which closed around 20 369 in JoSAA 2024, and NIT Delhi, whose Aerospace cutoffs extended to ~11 260 in 2024. Top private institutions accepting COMEDK for Aerospace include Acharya Institute of Technology (Bengaluru), ACS College of Engineering (Bengaluru), Dayananda Sagar University (Bengaluru), Reva University (Bengaluru), MSRIT (Bengaluru), BMS College of Engineering (Bengaluru), RV College of Engineering (Bengaluru), SIT Tumakuru (Karnataka), KLE Technological University (Belgaum), PES University (Bengaluru), RV University (Bengaluru), East West Institute of Technology (Bengaluru), Jain Institute of Technology (Bengaluru), GITAM University (Bengaluru), and Cambridge Institute of Technology (Bengaluru). These institutions boast NAAC/NBA accreditations, modern aerodynamics and propulsion labs, strong industry MoUs, dedicated placement cells with 80–95% record over three years, and robust research centres.

Recommendation Prioritize IIEST Shibpur for leading public-sector exposure, NIT Delhi for high national standing, and Acharya Institute (Bengaluru) for private-sector engineering excellence. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8532 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 11, 2025

Career
Hello sir what i prefer iiit ranchi ece, iiit bhagalpur cse, iiit una ece, iiit dharwad ece.please sir I want decent placement expected 9 to 10 lpa in future.please suggest me.
Ans: Rakesh, IIIT Ranchi’s ECE programme, established in 2016 as a public–private Institute of National Importance, holds NBA accreditation and achieved an average package of 12.36 LPA with an 84.7 percent placement rate in 2025, supported by recruiters like Google, Amazon, and Deloitte and multidisciplinary electronics labs fostering VLSI and communication research. IIIT Bhagalpur’s CSE offering, launched in 2017, boasts an average CSE package of 11.17 LPA (median 9 LPA) and a 96.97 percent placement rate in 2024, driven by Atlassian, Amazon, Microsoft, and a robust industry–academia interface through its Training and Placement Cell and specialised computing centres. IIIT Una’s ECE, part of a 2014 cohort, recorded an average package of 8.49 LPA (median 9.25 LPA) with an 83.33 percent placement rate in 2025, enriched by coding bootcamps, MOUs in AI/IoT, and hands-on laboratory modules in signal processing and embedded systems. IIIT Dharwad’s ECE, founded in 2015, secured an average package of 10 LPA (median 8 LPA) with a 66 percent placement rate in 2025, leveraging Practice School internships, CAD/CAM labs, and tie-ups with Cognizant, IBM, and Intel on its new 100-acre campus. Each institute features modern infrastructure, NAAC/NBA accreditation, and growing research centres.

Recommendation prioritizes IIIT Ranchi ECE for its highest average packages, strong placement consistency, and national importance status; IIIT Bhagalpur CSE follows for superior placement rate and industry linkage; IIIT Dharwad ECE is third for balanced ROI and infrastructure; IIIT Una ECE, while solid, ranks fourth based on average package trends. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x