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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach 

130 Answers | 32 Followers

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 20, 2024Translate
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Kanchan mam, I feel underappreciated at work. I have been working in this IT research company for 4 years now. No promotion, no increment or bonus. My manager doesn't have the time or feel the need to train me or share feedback. I feel like I am underutilised here and I am always questioning my abilities. How can I get over this phase? What do you suggest I do?
Ans: It's understandable to feel frustrated and undervalued in your current work situation. Schedule a meeting with your manager to discuss your concerns. Express your desire for more challenging work, feedback on your performance, and opportunities for growth within the company. Be specific about what you're looking for and how you believe it will benefit both you and the company.If your manager is unable to provide regular feedback, consider seeking it from other colleagues or mentors within the company. Their perspective can help you gain a better understanding of your strengths and areas for improvement Define your career goals and discuss them with your manager. This can help align your work with your long-term objectives and demonstrate your commitment to professional development.Look for opportunities to take on new responsibilities or projects that interest you. This can demonstrate your value to the company and showcase your skills and capabilities.Consider taking courses or certifications to enhance your skills and stay current in your field. This can make you more valuable to your employer and increase your confidence in your abilities.If you feel that your current job is not meeting your needs, consider exploring other opportunities within or outside the company that align better with your career goals and values.
Remember to approach these steps with a positive attitude and a willingness to take action. By proactively addressing your concerns, you can take control of your career and work towards a more fulfilling professional life.
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Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2024Translate
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I am a 41 year old married man with two sons and I make a decent living. Since few months my relationship with my wife has deteriorated significantly with no apparent reason other then finance. She is always trying to find a fault with me and as soon as she does, she just starts scolding me. I tried hard not to give her a reason to scold me, but that's making her even more frustrated as she creates even more drama when she finds a smallest of a fault which may not be necessarily mine but of my kids. She wont allow me to touch. She wont talk to me, she has this strange anger in her tone whenever she says few things to me. I am even taking her to a Foreign trip this march and we did quiet expensive trip last summer. I dont know what to do? I have tried to sit with her and talk. But no success
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your marriage. It sounds like you're trying hard to make things work, including taking your wife on trips to strengthen your relationship. It's positive that you've tried to sit and talk with her, even though it hasn't been successful so far.Communication is key in any relationship, so it's important to keep trying to have open and honest conversations with your wife. Perhaps you could suggest couples counseling as a way to facilitate these discussions in a more structured setting. A counselor could help both of you understand each other's perspectives and find constructive ways to address your issues. Going on trips is great, but also focus on spending quality time together in everyday life. Find activities you both enjoy and make time for each other. Ultimately, it will take effort from both you and your wife to improve your relationship. It may also be beneficial to explore the underlying reasons for the tension, such as financial stress, and work together to find solutions that address both of your needs and concerns.
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Answered on Feb 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 19, 2024Translate
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Hi Kanchan,I am 42 year old male and have been separated from marital relationship and i don't have children,since 13 years and living alone where my father and mother had passed away few years ago.I was searching for brides profile from matrimony websites and found a widowed woman who is selfemployed. I called and talked her. she is equivalent of my age.She has one son aged of 24.I was willing to marry her but she does not want to marry anybody rather she expressed her interest and consent to live in a cohabitation(Living together relationship).(She said that her son is a grown up boy and preparing for competitive exams and she loves him a lot,She added that it is not possible to convince him for marrying another person.I accepted it and said ok. Later on we had date and moved on.Whenever she come for a date she asks me to spend and buy apparels,asking me to recharge mobile,asking me to buy provisions ,watches and to pay water taxes of her house.I did it without hesitation and she asks me for gold ring and ear-studs.She is not having contentment and i feel that she is greedy and she does not shows any form of courtesy towards me and further she did not spend even a single rupee for me .I am worried that she is exploiting me.I was wondered and shocked that during a little discussion with her she said that she could move away from me at any point of time if she finds any other person whom she likes her.I was dejected.I said that i am not your Money wallet to swindle me.I am not ready to spend money to a girl who informs me that she will be leaving from me.I scolded her. Even when have planned to marry at that time the woman asks me that whether i am a dominating person and asking about the details of my earlier marriage and testing about my genuinity. Now the relationship has broken between us and i am very much worried that whether i have taken a correct decision or not from stepping away from her because whenever i like to see her she ask me to make surprises for her.In turn no love and affection is being received from her. Kindly advice me that whether i have taken correct decision from quitting her relationship or i have hurried a lot by taken a wrong decision. Please advice and guide me and do the needful in this regard.
Ans: It sounds like you've been through a lot and have put a lot of thought into your relationship with this woman. From what you've described, it seems like her behavior, particularly asking for financial support without reciprocating affection or showing respect, was not healthy or sustainable for a fulfilling relationship.

You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel valued and respected. It's understandable that you would feel hurt and confused by her actions, especially her indication that she could leave if she finds someone else. Trust and mutual respect are important foundations for any relationship, and it's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness.

It seems like you made a thoughtful decision to end the relationship, and it's okay to take time to reflect on that decision. Trust your instincts and prioritize your own needs and feelings. If you're unsure, you could consider seeking advice from a counselor or therapist who can provide support and guidance as you navigate this situation.
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Answered on Feb 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 11, 2024Translate
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I am working in a central psu and my wife works for state govt and both are 48 yrs. We are married for 20 yrs and have 2 sons (20 &16). She is never expressive nor vocal, because of this our marital relationship have not seen even a single day of happiness. Her parents never ever made her realised that problem can be from her side too nor asked me even a single time whats is bothering me. She is over ambitious in her job and neglects everything in the personal life. This negligence started from the day 1 of the married life. She never try to understand the problem and reasons behind and just ignore and move ahead. This makes life miserable and likewise 20 yrs passed.. Its like when sons are moving out of home, I feel very much alone and sometimes feels to runaway from life...She dont show any emotions, giving the reasons that its her nature...She says loves me, but whats that love which is not felt by me for a single day...I wanted a wife not a nurse.. What to do....I lost my hope of life.
Ans: It's clear that communication and understanding between you and your wife have been lacking for quite some time. It's important to remember that marriage is a partnership, and both partners need to be willing to work on the relationship for it to thrive. It's also common for individuals to have different communication styles and emotional expressions, but it's crucial to find common ground and ways to connect despite these differences. Have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how you're feeling. It's important for her to understand the impact her behavior is having on you and your relationship. Establish boundaries around work and personal life to ensure that both of you are making time for each other and your family. Encourage your wife to prioritize your relationship and family time.Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This might involve engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with friends and loved ones, and seeking support from a therapist or counselor for yourself. change takes time, and healing a relationship requires effort and commitment from both partners. It's okay to feel discouraged and overwhelmed, but please don't lose hope. There are resources and support available to help you navigate this difficult time. You deserve to live a fulfilling and happy life, and it's never too late to work towards that goal.
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Answered on Feb 05, 2024

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Hi mam, I have very close friend of mine. He is a doctor and very cool by personality. He is married for the last 26 years but he is not in good terms with his wife ( who is also a Govt. officer) . Actually they are very different persons by nature. His wife always try to convenience him on certain religious faiths but he is a practical guy who believes in doing good with all humans in touch . She still always jeer him in very taunting ways about his belated parents' behavior with her. He has already calmed her by offering her apologies on their behalf. But still she continues again and again. My friend has tried many a time to convince her for new start of relationship but it goes for only 2-3 days and again the same drama starts. I as family friend has also tried to settle the things between both of them (with their permission) but all in vain. Both are 50+ and not now my friend is having blood pressure problems too, He now has started to avoid the situations at home and tries to remain out of home . But this is not the permanent solution of this problem. According to my observation it is really very difficult to convince her on any point. But still I want to help them. Please suggest any possible way-out.-Thanks.
Ans: Dear Yogesh,
Dealing with longstanding relationship issues can be challenging, and it's admirable that you want to help your friend and his wife. Suggest that both your friend and his wife consider seeking professional marriage counseling. A licensed therapist can provide a neutral and structured environment for them to express their concerns, improve communication, and work towards resolving underlying issues. Encourage them to set realistic expectations for their relationship. It's essential for both parties to understand that perfection is not achievable, and compromise is crucial in any long-term relationship.Emphasize the importance of respecting each other's differences. It's okay to have different beliefs and values, but acknowledging and accepting those differences is key to a harmonious relationship. If they are open to it, suggest mediation to facilitate communication and conflict resolution. A neutral third party can help guide discussions and find common ground It's important to note that while your intentions are positive, the decision to seek help ultimately rests with your friend and his wife. They both need to be willing participants in any process aimed at improving their relationship. If they are resistant, it might be challenging to make significant progress.
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Answered on Feb 01, 2024

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we had joint family almost 10 years back, we are two brothers ,mother ,father and 2 children to both brothers, I am elder brother, Problem started almost 5 years , My brother lost his temper and started heated argument and violence in family although he is introvert and hold negative thought since long back ,all family members tried to convince him to keep him positive but issue increased day by day reached to a level when father decided my family to protect and advise us to move out of joint family. afterwards also situation remains the same their and ultimately my parents also moved out of the house. We never had any communication around 2 years , but afterwards father had some critical health issue related to kidney and we informed them, Communication started with them again but father expired and again we have seen their violent face during rituals. We understand he having serious psychiatric issue but non of their family like his wife , Son is cooperating us for medication without his consensus as my brother never thought that he having any issue. I am very much worried that some day something wrong can happen as he is keeping very pity issues in mind and ready to fight always. He relation and neighbor's also he did the same and now no one is in talking terms with him.Please suggest how to handle ,is their any agency who can help us in sorting this issue. dont want to go in legal.
Ans: Hello Manish,
mental health issues can be complex, and professional guidance is crucial. Consult with mental health professionals to create a plan tailored to your family's specific situation. It's important to prioritize the safety and well-being of your family. If your brother's behavior becomes threatening or harmful, it may be necessary to maintain physical and emotional distance while encouraging him to seek help. Look for support groups or organizations that specialize in helping families dealing with mental health issues. They can provide guidance, resources, and a network of people who have faced similar challenges. Consider arranging a family intervention, facilitated by a mental health professional, where you can express your concerns about your brother's behavior and encourage him to seek help. It's important to approach this with empathy and understanding. while you mentioned that you don't want to go the legal route, in extreme cases, you may need to consider legal options like obtaining a court order for involuntary psychiatric evaluation. This should be considered as a last resort and only if your brother poses a serious threat to himself or others.
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Answered on Feb 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 16, 2024Translate
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Hi I am 64 years old. Still workig in a Private company. My mother is 85 years old and she is with me since my father's death in 1985. I have lost my brother in an accident in 1985. I have three sisters all are living in my city only. My mother is almost bedridden. My wife, 62 years old is a heart patient and recently she has fallen and her knee got fractured. My wife and my mother never liked each other and always quarrel. My mother , being very week and helpless, always scolds my wife. We have made an arrangement with a catering guy who takes care of my mother's lunch. But dinner i have to prepare everyday which i have been doing for the last 20 years. My three sisters often come to visit my mother and give her fruits etc etc to please her. The problem is they agree to keep my mother in their homes once in while for two or three days but i have to beg them always when i have to go for any functions or to visit places , temples. But they never come forward to support me even if i am sick or if i have to attend any marriages, functions. This gives a scope for my wife to quarrel with me and many times we have cancelled our tickets just to be at home to look after my mother. Please tell me what to do do. I am also becoming old and want to take my wife with me to attend functions and to show her the places, as a husband. And my wife always quarrels with me that if at this age when we are able to walk and capable of going to places, when can we go ? I am not able to convince my three sister(elder one is already bedridden so i can not ask her )_ nor i am in a position to do justice to my wife's pleas. Please suggest me.
Ans: Hello Sir,
It's clear that you're facing a challenging situation, juggling responsibilities between your elderly mother, your wife, and your own desire for some personal time. Balancing these caregiving responsibilities while maintaining a healthy relationship with your wife can be emotionally and physically exhausting. It's essential to find a balance that works for everyone involved, including yourself. Seeking support from your extended family, exploring professional caregiving options, and prioritizing open communication can contribute to finding a more sustainable and harmonious caregiving arrangement. Have an open and honest conversation with your sisters about your situation, expressing your need for support. Emphasize the strain it's putting on your relationship with your wife and the importance of having some time for yourselves. Consider organizing a family meeting where you can discuss the caregiving responsibilities and come up with a plan that works for everyone. This can help distribute the load more evenly and address any concerns or misunderstandings Explore the option of hiring a professional caregiver or nurse to provide assistance to your mother. This could ease the burden on you and provide a more structured care plan for your mother's needsTake care of your own health and well-being. Work with your sisters to establish a schedule for them to take turns caring for your mother. This way, you can plan your personal time in advance and ensure that your wife's concerns are addressed. Ensure you are not neglecting your physical and mental health in the midst of caregiving responsibilities.
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Answered on Feb 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2024Translate
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Please dont disclose my identity.I am aged 40 and not married.My father expired 13 year back and sister got married ten years. I started trying for arranged marriage by asking relatives but two of my mothers brother and family involved and distruct all my efforts by saying false stories. Idont drink smoke or have no bad habits.They made false stories to my mother relatives and father relatives. So i got tired of this drama .then i quit my job and start a business.i have confident that i can run a business smartly and it was going smooth for last 7 years. My i only idea is to recruit some staff so that if got a good one i can marry.i dont fibd any help from others.i got attached with one of my staff but after 2 years she said not interested. She also heavily attack me mentally by saying bad words about me to my partner. I got shocked of her sudden behavior and even after 8 months i have not recovered. I purely love her and done everything she said she likes.even after this shift of behavior and harassment she came to job for 1 more month. I never had a bad word or any type of misbehavior with her even for a second, as i love her completely. She also knows that but she dont know that i love her. I have her voice messages but not even once i oppose what ever she said. I dont want to make her feel any guilty. Then onwards i have not send any messages call or any attempt to see her. But day by day i loose my self and loose interest to live. I dont know what to do further
Ans: I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. It sounds like you've faced challenges in your personal and professional life, and the recent experience with someone you cared about has added to your emotional distress. Coping with rejection and the emotional toll it takes can be incredibly tough. Talk to friends or family members about what you're going through. Sharing your feelings can be a relief and help you gain perspective.If the emotional burden becomes too much to handle, consider seeking the support of a mental health professional. They can provide guidance and strategies to cope with the challenges you're facing. Reflect on your personal goals and priorities. While finding a life partner is important, it's also crucial to ensure you are content and fulfilled in other aspects of your life. Reconnect with activities or hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment. This can help take your mind off the challenges you're facing and bring positivity into your life. Healing takes time, so be patient with yourself. It's okay to feel the way you do, and acknowledging your emotions is an essential step in the healing process.
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Answered on Jan 25, 2024

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Hello, I am recently divorced after a simple case as per due legal SOP, staying with my 2 sons who are coming to terms with the reality. my ex-wife had the affair for very long time during which she left home twice (I brought her back), lied, cheated, manipulated, and made misuse of my trust, my home, my belongings and my efforts to restore near normal life (minus physical intimacy) for the sake of my sons. It has been a very tough time for me, not to mention the continuous stress on my innocent lovely sons. I have a good mind to seek legal recourse and get retribution (not revenge) for the severe injustice done to me. She and her partner have to face the consequences of their actions and cannot simply be happy away, leaving my house in shambles, after all the love and equality bestowed by me, my sons, my parents and society, which was her right as long as she was virtuous, and can be called my grace since the time she became illicit. Indian Laws do not have strong sections in such case but I can sue for breach of trust, house tresspass and perhaps 1-2 other clauses. The process will take time, expense, patience and the result may not be imprisonment, but compounding by a small fine. But I am more interested in the conviction. I want them to realise, through legal recourse, that you cannot destroy someone's life and sit happily elsewhere, you have to bear the fruit of your deeds, after mis-using all that I and our society has provided. She is aware that the divorce is decreed and is expecting me to accept it and get over with it. Please provide your guidance.
Ans: Remember that legal processes can be time-consuming, emotionally draining, and may not always bring the emotional satisfaction you seek. It's crucial to weigh the potential benefits against the costs and consider what will be in the best interest of you and your children in the long run.

Ultimately, the decisions you make should align with your goals for the future and contribute to your overall well-being and that of your family.
Asked on - Jan 25, 2024 | Answered on Jan 26, 2024
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Madam, Thanks for your prompt reply. In the interest of the future and overall wellbeing of my family, I had provided several chances for rectifying her behaviour but to no avail. All false promises and cheating with impunity. She has also threatened by sons against disclosing the situation to me, all these years. She has taken mis-advantage of my tolerance, did not mend her ways and has shown a very bad example to my kids. Such irresponsible outright impune behaviour must not go unpunished (in the proper legal way)
Ans: Dear Abhijit

Divorce and betrayal can be emotionally taxing. It's understandable that you might be seeking a sense of justice and accountability for the actions that have hurt you and your family.Consult with a lawyer to get a clear understanding of your legal options and the potential outcomes of pursuing a case against your ex-wife and her partner. They can provide guidance based on the specific laws applicable to your situation. Ensure that your primary focus is on the well-being of your sons. Divorce can be especially tough on children, and their emotional health should be a top priority. Focus on your personal growth and healing. Sometimes, moving forward and building a positive future for yourself and your children is the best form of "retribution". Consider whether pursuing legal action will truly bring you the closure you seek. Sometimes, the legal process can be lengthy, expensive, and emotionally draining. Assess whether it's worth the investment of time and energy for the outcome you desire.
Asked on - Jan 27, 2024 | Answered on Feb 01, 2024
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Madam I value your advice. Thanks a lot Abhijit
Ans: most welcome Abhijit.
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Answered on Jan 07, 2024

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Hi, my only son aged 27yrs is in relationship with a girl aged 22yrs and she kept him as guarantor in her home loan of 20 lacs and took personal loan of 5 lacs from my son (which he took from NBFC and gave it to her). This all done without informing any of us in our family. She is from other state and she donot any family members except her single mom. We have undivided family with conservative mind set. Our family members are not willing to accept her in the family as she taking undue advantage from my son and feels untrustworthy....plz advice
Ans: Dear Srinivas,
While it's important to address the concerns within the family, it's also crucial to respect the individual choices and relationships of your adult son. Striking a balance between expressing concerns and allowing autonomy can be challenging but is essential for maintaining a healthy family dynamic Offer support to your son while guiding him about responsible financial decisions. Help him understand the potential consequences of being a guarantor and lending money Seek to understand the dynamics of your son's relationship with the girl. It's essential to know whether they have a stable and healthy relationship or if there are any red flags. Consider having a conversation with the girl to understand her intentions and reasons for involving your son in her financial matters.Keep the conversation respectful and non-confrontational to foster open communication Establish clear boundaries about financial involvement in relationships. Encourage your son to communicate with the family before making significant financial commitments.
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Answered on Jan 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 19, 2023Translate
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I am 40+. I worked for a few years after Post Grad and due to family constraints had taken a long sabbatical. About 5 years ago I went to back to work moved from small firms to a corporate. However, I find myself still at the entry level position. My colleagues at the same level were not even born when I finished my college. I really feel very old amongst them and cannot gel with them also it bugs me that people of my age in the firm are at very senior position.Switching over jobs I dont will make sense either as it will be the same trend everywhere. I dont know how to address this issue. Please suggest
Ans: career paths are unique for each individual, and success is not solely defined by age or job title. Focus on your personal growth, contributions to your organization, and finding fulfillment in your workUnderstand that your age and experience bring unique strengths to the table. You likely have a wealth of knowledge and skills that can be valuable to your current organization. Identify and leverage these strengths in your current role. Consider investing in professional development opportunities to update your skills and stay current in your field Build relationships with colleagues, both younger and older, through networking Networking can help you feel more connected and open up opportunities for mentorship or collaboration. Connect with more senior colleagues or mentors within your organization. They can provide guidance on career advancement, share their experiences, and help you navigate the corporate culture Understanding the expectations for career progression can help you set realistic goals Find common ground with your colleagues, regardless of age differences. Engage in team-building activities, attend social events, and try to connect on a personal level. Building strong relationships with your team members can improve collaboration and create a more positive work environment.
Career progression can take time, especially when re-entering the workforce after a break. Stay persistent, continue to demonstrate your skills and dedication, and be patient as you work towards your goals.
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Answered on Dec 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2023Translate
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Hi I am working in an compnay since 4 yrs i had and friendship with my senior and he ia married but staying alone. His family was at native place. We both r maaried and we know about we had family but now we are in relationships since 3 years. As his family was not here i helped him in every manner in covid situtation. We know pur priority is family first. But since his family is here from one year last. He has stopped chatting talking to me. Only we are mostly having one side fight. He is now feeling irritation in talking to me normally also. During my job i m doing better than also everytime he feels irritated. I dont know what to do. Now he is saying he dont have time. He dont want to leave me. But stopped everything's. Only when he needs help he speaks to me or replies to message. I dont want to leave my job nor complaint to someone. What shoul i do dont understand. I have ensured him that i dont want him also to leave his family. Nor i want to leavemy family. I m confused what to do. I have done everything for him and now he has forgot evething. He says he love me he dont want to leave me. But at this situtation what should i do.
Ans: Hello Ms.
It's important to approach this with sensitivity and consideration for everyone involved. Understand that his family is a significant part of his life, and he may need time to adjust to the changes. Respect his commitments and responsibilities towards his family. Think about the long-term implications of the relationship. Consider whether it's sustainable in the current circumstances and whether it aligns with your personal values and priorities. Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and the dynamics of your relationship. Consider whether this situation is bringing you happiness and fulfillment, or if it's causing you distress. Establish clear boundaries in your relationship to ensure that both of you are comfortable and that these boundaries are respected. If he is feeling overwhelmed or stressed with the recent changes in his family situation, it might be helpful to give him some space. Encourage open communication make sure you both are on the same page about the nature of your relationship and the level of communication you both desire.Be prepared for the possibility that the relationship may need to change or come to an end. Reflect on your own priorities and boundaries. Ensure that your relationship doesn't negatively impact your personal and professional life. It's essential to maintain a healthy balance and focus on your own well-being. While this can be difficult, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of everyone involved.
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Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Translate
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Hello, I'm in need of guidance for mending my troubled marriage. My wife and I have been living separately since October. Our nine-year marriage, which blossomed after a five-year relationship, is now in jeopardy. A major challenge arose three years ago when I found out about my wife's affair with someone we know. This discovery was particularly hard, considering our daughter was only five at the time, and led to numerous disputes, sometimes in our daughter's presence. We eventually decided to reunite for the sake of our daughter and focused on creating joyful family moments. However, the issue resurfaced when the same individual appeared near our home, and my wife started planning activities at times when he was around. This has caused me great discomfort and resulted in further arguments, though not in front of our daughter. When I brought up my concerns to my wife, she and her family told me to handle it on my own and to be mentally stronger. Unfortunately, a recent dispute on this issue resulted in her leaving with our daughter and contemplating divorce. I deeply miss our family life and am eager to restore trust with my wife, who seems unsupportive at the moment. This situation is affecting both me and our daughter profoundly, and I would greatly value some advice on how can I restore peace back in my life.
Ans: the process of rebuilding a relationship takes effort, commitment, and mutual understanding. Professional guidance can provide valuable insights and tools to help navigate these challenges. It's important for both partners to be willing to actively participate in the healing process. Clearly express your feelings, concerns, and the impact her actions have had on you. Encourage her to share her perspective as well Clearly define and communicate your boundaries regarding the person involved in the affair. Discuss and agree on acceptable behavior to rebuild trust. Both partners need to be willing to make compromises for the sake of the relationship. Keep in mind the impact of your actions on your daughter. Ensure that your discussions and disputes are handled away from her, as exposing children to conflicts can be emotionally challenging for them. Your daughter's well-being should be a top priority. Reflect on your own role in the relationship dynamics. Acknowledge any areas where you can improve and be willing to take responsibility for your actions. Rebuilding trust and resolving complex issues take time. Set realistic expectations and be patient with the process. Avoid pressuring your wife to make immediate decisions and allow space for healing. a relationship takes effort from both parties. It's crucial to address the underlying issues, communicate openly, and work towards mutual understanding and resolution. If your wife is unwilling to engage in the process, you may need to consider what is best for your own well-being and that of your daughter.
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Answered on Dec 26, 2023

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I am 40 years divorced man. I am off late feeling lonely Looking for relationship but failing to find. Matrimonial sites or events are leading nowhere as I am freelancer. dating apps is just time pass. how do I kill my loneliness. Even do not have much friends. Most of my friends maintain professional do not have genuine friends. don't know how to go about it
Ans: Dear Vaibhav,
Dealing with loneliness can be challenging, but there are various strategies you can consider to build connections and enrich your social life Engage in activities or hobbies you enjoy. This could be a great way to meet like-minded individuals and form connections based on shared interests. Attend workshops, classes, or local meet-ups related to your hobbies. Consider volunteering for a cause you're passionate about. Not only does this provide an opportunity to make a positive impact, but it also allows you to meet new people with similar values. Look for social events, gatherings, or local community activities where you can interact with others. Attend meet-ups, networking events, or social clubs to expand your social circle. While many of your friends maintain professional relationships, consider networking within your industry. Attend conferences, workshops, or industry events where you can meet people with similar professional backgrounds. Reach out to old friends or acquaintances. Sometimes, rekindling past connections can be fulfilling, and they may introduce you to new people Remember that quality connections often come from shared experiences and genuine interactions. Take small steps, be open to new opportunities, and focus on building connections that bring value to your life.
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Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2023Translate
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I have been dating a guy since last year and we are serious about each other. Our families know about us and are quite accepting towards our relationship. But there is a problem idk what to do. I'm single child and my father passed 10 years ago so its just me and my mom. I cant just leave her after marriage. I want all of us ( me my bf his parents and my mother ) to stay together after our marriage but he says that his parents will have a problem with it. Idk what to do i just cant leave my mother but i also love this guy.
Ans: It's understandable that you're facing a challenging situation with conflicting priorities. Balancing your commitment to your mother and your love for your boyfriend can be difficult, but open communication and compromise are essential in such casesTalk about your expectations for family life after marriage. Understand what he envisions and what compromises can be made to accommodate both your wishes. This may involve discussing living arrangements, responsibilities, and boundariesIf possible, involve both families in the discussion. Sometimes, concerns can be addressed more effectively when everyone is aware of each other's perspectives. This can also help in finding common ground and building mutual understanding. finding a solution that respects both families and allows for a harmonious marriage may take time and effort. Patience, understanding, and compromise are key. It's important to create an environment where both you and your boyfriend feel heard and valued.
Ultimately, the decision should be based on what feels right for both of you as a couple. Consider what compromises are reasonable and whether there are creative solutions that can satisfy both your desire to care for your mother and your commitment to your relationship.
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Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 18, 2023Translate
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I am currently in my late 30s and i am unmarried. Currently i am chatting with a person whom i found on a matrimonial site but he is an introvert so i am.But is is extremely introvert he is not opening up completely its going to be one month since we are chatting. He calls me everyday.But he talks very formally.Does he has interest in me we are going to meet for a second time in a few days.Pls help.Should i marry him?
Ans: It's positive that you've been in communication for a month and that he makes an effort to call you every day. However, it's important to recognize that everyone has their own communication style, and being introverted doesn't necessarily mean a lack of interest. Some people take time to open up, especially in the early stages of getting to know someone. Introverts often prefer to think before they speak and may be more reserved in expressing their thoughts and feelings. If he is consistently reaching out and maintaining contact, it could be a sign of interest, even if the communication seems formal. Meeting in person can provide valuable insights into his personality. People may be more comfortable and expressive in person than they are online or over the phone. Pay attention to his body language, facial expressions, and overall demeanor during your second meeting. Encourage open communication by asking open-ended questions that invite him to share more about himself. This can help create a more relaxed and natural conversation If you feel comfortable, you might express to him that you would like to get to know him better and that you appreciate open and honest communication. This can create an environment where both of you feel more comfortable sharing. Before making any decisions about marriage, it's crucial to have open and honest conversations about your values, goals, and expectations for the future. Take the time to understand each other's personalities and communication styles, and assess whether you share common values and interests.

Remember, the decision to marry someone is significant, and it's important to feel a genuine connection and mutual understanding. If you have any doubts or concerns, it's advisable to address them before making any commitments.
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Answered on Dec 26, 2023

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HI, I am married person aged 45 , i am in a relation with girl who used to work in our office , now she is working somewhere else, but we are in still in touch only in calls and whats app, from last 4-5 months she is asking help me out her form some financial crysis, i am helping her also. but she is treating me like second grade citizen after i am helping her financially and talks me rudely. few time we had heated arguments also, we never had physical relation, whether i should contine or not.
Ans: Dear Avinash,
Your situation is complex, involving both emotional and financial aspects. Reflect on your priorities and values. Consider the impact this relationship may have on your overall well-being, your marriage, and your personal life. It's important to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. If you are comfortable doing so, consider discussing your feelings and concerns with your spouse. Open communication is crucial in maintaining trust and understanding in a marriage.Consider the long-term prospects of this relationship. If it is causing more harm than good, it may be worth reevaluating whether continuing the relationship aligns with your personal goals and values. Evaluate the nature of the financial assistance you are providing. If you feel taken advantage of or if the person is not appreciative of your help, it's crucial to reassess whether continued financial support is appropriate. Establish clear boundaries regarding your relationship, especially given your marital status. If the relationship is causing strain on your marriage or personal well-being, consider whether those boundaries need to be adjusted or reinforced.
Remember, it's essential to prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of those around you. If the relationship is causing distress or negatively impacting your life, it may be time to reassess and make decisions that are in your best interest. Seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can provide valuable perspectives during challenging times.

PS: I have replied this question earlier also
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Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Translate
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Hii Ma'am my boyfriend said our relationship will not be possible because of intercaste relationship and he told me his parents will not agree and my parents too. As I'm from schedule caste family and he is from general, his mother doesn't like me and she wants us to break up our relationship. So my boyfriend had break up with me, what should I do?
Ans: Hello Ms,
sorry to hear that you're going through a challenging situation. Inter-caste relationships can sometimes face societal and familial pressures, which can be difficult to navigate Try to understand the pressures your boyfriend may be facing from his family. Similarly, share your feelings and concerns with him. Empathy and understanding can be crucial in such situations. Consider your own values and priorities in a relationship. It's important to be with someone who respects and supports you despite societal norms. Assess whether you and your boyfriend share common values and are willing to navigate these challenges together.While it's important to fight for love, it's equally important to respect each other's choices. If, despite your efforts, your boyfriend is not willing to continue the relationship, it may be necessary to accept his decision and focus on healing. Remember, it's essential to be in a relationship where both partners feel respected and valued. If your boyfriend is unwilling to reconsider the relationship, it might be important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being in the long run. Take care of yourself emotionally and mentally. Breakups can be tough, and it's crucial to prioritize self-care during this period. Surround yourself with positive influences and engage in activities that bring you joy.
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Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Translate
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I am married for 23 years .Both me & my wife are doing job.I have one son staying with me. After 17 years of marriage I inquired that my wife has sexual relationship with another man . This has hurt me a lot as she betrayed me . As a result she gave no attention to me , my son and my parents . When I got this information , my wife left my house taking hand loan from neighbors . I never lodged any complain with police or file divorce case , rather I took it challenging. I took proper care of my son .Due to hard work & logistic support from me , my son qualified in NEET & continuing MBBS in Govt. college.As my son has grown up & knows the actual fact ,he dislikes his mother & has no contact with her since long.Gradually we have started forgetting her. After 6 years of staying outside , now my wife is trying to come back again forcefully which we do not want. Therefore I request that please advice me what to do.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenging situation you've been through. It's understandable that trust has been broken, and emotions must be complex. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and that of your son during this time. If you feel comfortable, have an open and honest conversation with your wife about the reasons for her return. It's crucial to express your feelings and concerns. It might be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, to facilitate the conversation. If she continues to pursue a return against your wishes, you may want to consult with a legal professional to understand your options and rights. Given the complexity of your situation, it might be beneficial to seek legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities. A lawyer can help you explore options and provide guidance on how to proceed. Take into account the well-being and feelings of your son in any decision-making process. His opinion and comfort level should be considered, especially if he has chosen not to maintain contact with his mother. Decisions made under emotional stress might not be the best ones. Give yourself time to reflect, assess the situation, and decide what is in the best interest of you and your son Ultimately, the decision of whether to allow your wife back into your lives is a personal one. Consider what is in the best interests of you and your son, taking into account your own well-being and the well-being of your family.
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Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 26, 2023Translate
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I lied on my CV. Basically, I added details of projects that were managed by my team to get an overseas role in a new company. Recently, one of my colleagues jokingly mentioned that he would make an anonymous call to HR and reveal the details. I am a bit scared. What should I do? I don't want to lose the job
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Lying on your CV is a serious matter and can have significant consequences if discovered. It's important to address the situation with integrity and take appropriate actions to rectify the situation Acknowledge that you made a mistake by providing inaccurate information on your CV. It's better to admit the error before it becomes a bigger issue .Update your CV with accurate details, removing any false information. Be honest about the projects you were involved in and your specific role within those projects. If the opportunity arises, consider apologizing to your colleague for your actions. Explain that you recognize the mistake and have taken steps to correct it. If possible, address the issue with your supervisor or HR proactively. Explain that you recently became aware of an error on your CV and have taken corrective action. This demonstrates accountability.Familiarize yourself with the company's policies on employee conduct, ethics, and honesty. Understand the potential consequences of providing false information Be prepared for potential consequences, such as a reprimand, warning, or even termination, depending on the severity of the situation and the company's policies. If confronted, be honest and take responsibility for your actions. Apologize to your employer, colleagues, and anyone else affected. Work diligently to rebuild trust with your colleagues and superiors by consistently demonstrating honesty and integrity in your actions
Remember that the best way to handle a situation like this is to address it honestly and proactively. It may be challenging, but taking responsibility for your actions is a crucial step toward rebuilding trust and maintaining your professional reputation.
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Answered on Dec 26, 2023

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Dear, I am a 44 yr old man. I have an issue for which I need some support. We are Bengalis, I am an engineer & was married in 2004. It was an arranged marriage with all those astrological compatibility etc. My wife is 5 yrs younger than me. After my marriage I found that she was very adjusting,loving & people will say that we are an ideal match even today I will also say she is the perfect wife one can have, but one thing I noticed immediately is that she is very unlucky for me. Whenever she is around there will be no success & even things that are working will go wrong. Within 1 yr of marriage, we had a daughter. When she went for delivery I got an opportunity to go to Canada, after a few months she & my daughter joined me & my project closed & I was sent back. Knowing the issue I again sent her for higher education, when she was not around, I got an opportunity to go to the USA, again when they joined me I was sent back. I can give many examples like this, many times we talked about it and met astrologers but all will say our match is perfect. We stayed in Pune. With our daughter around we continued with our family life which I will say was happy, many people will give examples of our family & ostensibly perfect partners we were. But I will tactfully avoid her in times when it was crucial like appraisal etc, & things will work. But I always felt & feared the misfortune she brings. During Covid, this avoidance could not be done & Jan 2023 I was told to leave my job by June 2023. I tried for a lot but could not get a job with her around. In May I sent her to our native & I got a job in Bengaluru. My daughter is in Class 12 in Pune so could not shift my family. In my Pune job , I had a reportee Sumit a Marathi who became somewhat like a friend or better an office tea partner. Many times at tea he would talk about his wife's misbehavior & in the discussion I would tell him how my wife behaves, but my wife had never met with Sumit. They were a childless couple & in Dec 2022 he started living separately from his wife. I being a senior never discussed any private things like family etc with him, One day in May this year out of shear frustration I told him about the bad luck my wife brings, and he responded that" many times one may bring bad luck to one person but maybe good luck to another" Before moving to Bengaluru I called him to our house for lunch since he was staying alone & was having a problem with food etc. Something in my intuition told me that he & my wife may go well, but I never told anyone. A few days later my wife told me that Sumit had sent a Facebook friend request to her & asked me if she should accept it, I said its up to her, she accepted it. My wife has a habit of sending "good morning" messages to a lot of people & I soon found she sent one to Sumit also. I had her Facebook password so could see the messenger messages also. I soon saw Sumit responding to her & they having chats. Initially, she used to tell me about the talks she is having with Sumit but now she has stopped When I moved to Bangalore in June I used to have daily calls & sometimes hot video calls also, I go to Pune every month & we used to have physical relationship but this month when I went to Pune my wife refused getting physical with the reason of she having periods, in Nov she made a purposeful fight with me so that we dont get physical. For 2 months she doesn't do the hot video calls also but regular calls are ongoing. I am in a dilemma, I am happy with my wife but she brings too much bad luck & she has understood it. If I keep quiet now I know by Dec 24 my wife will be Sumit's wife & there traits they will be very happy. But if I even now want I strongly feel that I can stop her drifting further, but I cannot decide if I should do it. Since I think that she going away from my life will stop bringing the misfortune she brings & she & Sumit will be really good partners & will be happy. But I also feel very sad about her leaving me. Please help me with how I should decide. My daughter will complete her 12th next year & I am hopeful by June next year she will be in an engg college hostel & will not be directly affected by this change of relationship.
Ans: Dear Bappa,
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging situation. Deciding whether to confront your wife about her growing relationship with Sumit is undoubtedly a difficult and personal choice. It's important to approach this situation with empathy and open communication. Take some time to reflect on your own emotions and the impact your wife's actions are having on you. Consider both the positive and negative aspects of your relationship, as well as your own needs and desires. Choose an appropriate time to have an open and honest conversation with your wife. Avoid accusations and blame, but express your concerns and feelings. Discuss how her relationship with Sumit makes you feel and inquire about her perspective on your marriage Reflect on what you want for your future and whether you believe your marriage can overcome the challenges. Reflect on your own feelings about your marriage. Consider whether your concerns about bad luck and misfortune are based on tangible evidence or if there might be other factors influencing your perception. Consider the impact on your daughter and how decisions might affect her as well. While she may be heading to college soon, a separation or divorce can still affect her emotionally. Consider her well-being in any decisions you make.
Sometimes, people need time for personal growth and self-discovery. This doesn't necessarily mean the end of a marriage but could lead to a stronger relationship in the future. Both partners might need to work on themselves to contribute positively to the relationship It's crucial to make decisions based on your own values, priorities, and the specific dynamics of your relationship. If needed, don't hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or professionals who can provide guidance and assistance during this challenging time.
Asked on - Feb 14, 2024 | Answered on Feb 14, 2024
Dear Thanks for your quick response to my earlier query, during the last 2 months I have tried to follow your advice & have also started support from our office counsellor, I am writing to you again as some aspects I felt ashamed to discuss with the office counsellor & some to have a 2nd opinion. I had deeply thought about my expectations from my marriage & wife. In the last 6 months as I am staying separate in Bangalore, I have found much better & am much more communicative with my wife, discussing & sharing emotionally. When we stay together the continuous expectation would put both of us in a panic & irritation ultimately resulting in fights & also finally not sharing & the bad luck of seeing her face will add oil to the fire, with many of my outbursts not being very parliamentary. So I see our relationship is better if it is long-distance. I discussed this with my wife & she also agrees somewhat, but the basis of husband-wife relationship is to stay together, where we fail. Since we stayed together for 17 yrs we know each other’s problems & historical facts which no one else knows, so frankly I need a long-distance person with whom I can share emotionally, but for my wife she requires someone who is also close to her physically. One idea that I got is to let things be as it is i.e. let her stay in Pune while I stay in Bangalore & she be in a relationship with Sumit & maybe stay with him without legally separating, maybe when my daughter is having holidays, we can have short trips. This will keep the social well-being intact as people will not know as we don’t have any close relatives in Pune. But I am worried about the long-term impact will our marriage last especially what plans should I make in old age. Want your opinion & what precautions do I need to take. In the last 2 mnths, I have been to Pune 3 times for the reason of my daughters JEE for which I help her. I talked with my wife about Sumit in early Jan & she said they are good friends & they share a lot of intimate talks; she was not ready to tell me anything more than that. On asking about physical relationships she was elusive . But she said she doesn’t want to legally separate from me. I also discussed if she wants, we can have a long-distance relationship supporting each other (without naming Sumit) she did not respond. Though Sumit talks to me once in 7-10 days we never talked about his relationship with my wife, we talk about status of his divorce, old office stuffs etc. 2 weeks ago my wife told me that Sumit's parents, divorced sister who had come for a visit to Pune will be coming to our house to meet her. Later she posted some photos in her WhatsApp status for everyone it will look as if some friend had to come to visit her (everyone will think some lady friend). In mid-January in one of my old office colleagues (who is a friend with Sumit) Facebook I saw that in his son's birthday my wife is there (he doesn’t know or have seen my wife), I tactically asked him who that lady was, he said it is Sumit’s friend. Can you please help me if she is going in the same way I am thinking about the future of our relationship. The last point is something which I could not ask anyone. During my last 3 visits to Pune I had sex with my wife. I will like to tell that my wife is always (since our marriage) very passive in sex she has to be told what to do 1 by 1, (though for me it gave me some amount of pleasure command) which she will do properly & maybe sometimes do 1-2 things on her own or ask me to do. She was same this time also. I never had sex relationship with anyone else so this acts maybe in a distance timeframe gives me a lot of pleasure. I am worried what will be this relationship be if she starts staying with Sumit, what is your advice? My counsellor advised me to sit & talk with Sumit & my wife together but really, I am not seeing any reason to do it, do I need to do this joint meeting & if so, what do I need to discuss
Ans: Dear Bappa,

It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into your relationship and your future with your wife. It's positive that you're able to communicate more effectively when you're physically apart. However, the idea of allowing your wife to be in a relationship with Sumit while you stay in Bangalore raises several complex issues, especially concerning the long-term viability of your marriage and your plans for old age.

Firstly, it's important to consider the emotional implications of such an arrangement. While it may alleviate some of the pressures and conflicts in your current relationship, it could also lead to feelings of loneliness, jealousy, or insecurity for both you and your wife. Additionally, maintaining this arrangement without legal separation could create legal and financial complications in the future, especially when it comes to issues like inheritance, healthcare, and support in old age.

Regarding your concern about your wife's relationship with Sumit, it's challenging to determine the nature of their relationship based on the information you've provided. It's possible that they are just good friends, as your wife has stated, but it's also understandable that you might have doubts given the circumstances. Ultimately, trust and open communication are key in any relationship, so it might be helpful to have a candid conversation with your wife about your concerns and expectations.

As for the idea of a joint meeting with your wife and Sumit, while it may provide some clarity, it's important to carefully consider the potential outcomes and whether it will truly address your concerns. It might be beneficial to seek the advice of a counselor or therapist who can help you navigate these complex emotions and decisions.

In summary, it's crucial to prioritize open and honest communication with your wife, as well as seek professional guidance to ensure that any decisions you make are in the best interest of both parties involved.
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Answered on Dec 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2023Translate
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Hello Sir!!!!! I m a divorcee guy n dating a girl since sept 2022. Soon she is going to file a divorce. She is good in nature. Just 1 month back i came to know she is parkinson +ve. I don't understand wat shld i do? Continue dating or stop. I know all the -ve side of parkinson diseases. I m very confused. Please help me wat shld i do.
Ans: It's understandable that learning about a serious health condition like Parkinson's disease can be a significant and emotional experience. When faced with such situations, it's important to consider your own feelings, the dynamics of your relationship, and your capacity to provide support. Take the time to learn more about Parkinson's disease, its symptoms, and the challenges individuals with the condition may face. Understanding the illness can help you better comprehend your partner's situation Reflect on your own feelings and consider whether you are emotionally prepared to support someone through the challenges that may come with Parkinson's disease. It's essential to be honest with yourself about your own capacity for support.Discuss long-term plans and how you both envision the future. Understanding each other's expectations and being on the same page about how to handle the challenges can be crucial Consider the overall dynamics of your relationship. Are there strong emotional connections, shared values, and mutual support? Evaluate whether the foundation of your relationship is strong enough to withstand the challenges that may arise Ultimately, the decision to continue or end a relationship is a personal one. It's important to prioritize your well-being and happiness while being compassionate and understanding towards your partner. If you're uncertain, taking the time to explore these feelings with a professional or confiding in trusted friends and family can be helpful. Remember that relationships require open communication, understanding, and a commitment to supporting each other through life's challenges.
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Answered on Dec 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2023Translate
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Hii, I am a married man aged 54 years. My wife is aged 50 years. she has undergone menopause about a year ago. Since then her sexual desire has finished and she is not at all interested in sex. On the other hand, I am sexually active having urge for sex. We have't had sex for last more than six months. I am now getting restless. My friend has suggested that I should go for paid sex to satisfy my urge, but I feel it will be like cheating on my wife who has been faithful to me for the whole life. I am in a fix. Please advice,
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that your situation is challenging and can be emotionally difficult. It's important to approach such matters with sensitivity and communicationTalk to your wife openly and honestly about your feelings and desires. It's crucial to have a calm and non-confrontational conversation. Express your needs and concerns while also being empathetic to her perspective. Menopause can lead to changes in a woman's libido due to hormonal shifts. It may be beneficial for your wife to consult with a healthcare professional to discuss her symptoms. There could be medical interventions or lifestyle changes that may helpWhile sex is an important aspect of a relationship, intimacy can take many forms. Explore other ways to connect emotionally and physically that don't necessarily involve sexual activity. This may help strengthen your bond with your wife If you find it challenging to cope with your own feelings and desires, seeking individual counseling for yourself could be beneficial. A counselor can provide support and help you navigate your emotions. If both you and your wife are open to it, you might discuss the possibility of finding a solution that respects both of your needs and boundaries. This could involve finding a compromise or an arrangement that works for both parties Remember, every relationship is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. The key is to communicate openly, seek understanding, and work together to find a resolution that respects both partners' feelings and needs.
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Answered on Dec 09, 2023

Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2023Translate
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Hi Ma'am, I have been in a relationship for almost a decade now i.e. since graduation and now me and my bf are doing good in our respective jobs. Since we come from different religions, we have been trying to convince our family very much for last two years to let us happen and get married and in these scenarios during covid I lost my father too now that it's just me and my mom and my elder sister due to societal pressure also they were not agreeing for us but then I could feel now that his family was some how just dragging us showing fake acceptance for me but still being very orthodox but in this process me and my bf got committed to each other very seriously in terms of physical ways but now his family is completely denying the fact that they don't us to happen and are literally forcing his son to marry in their caste. On this thing, the guy is trying to make me understand with false accusations that it's not his family butine which doesn't want us to proceed since my family wanted a mutual ways of marriage and not just his culture thing or else court marriage was the last opt but my guy is saying no I can never go against my family this and that you better understand and I don't know I'm feeling very cheated that now at this stage after being this close where he should have been standing strong with me he's pushing me to set back I don't know iam so clueless I got no energy to get back to being productive in my life or something whereas this acts of his and his family's forcible nature is somehow triggering me to opt for legal methods....I need guidance it's all dark for me and feeling too used.
Ans: Hello Dear,
I'm truly sorry to hear about the challenges you're facing in your relationship. It's a complex and emotionally charged situation, and it's understandable that you're feeling hurt and confused It's okay to take some time for self-reflection and self-care. Understand and acknowledge your emotions before making any decisions. Give yourself the space to process the situation and its impact on your well-being. Have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about your feelings. Share your concerns, fears, and expectations. Encourage him to express his feelings and concerns as well. Effective communication is crucial at this stage. Reflect on your priorities and values in a relationship. Consider whether the current situation aligns with what you envision for your future. Be honest with yourself about what you need and deserve in a partnership. If you're contemplating legal steps, it's advisable to seek legal advice to understand the implications and options available to you. Consult with a lawyer who can provide guidance based on your specific situation and laws. While it's crucial to address the relationship concerns, also focus on your personal growth and well-being. Pursue activities that bring you joy, engage in self-improvement, and consider your long-term goals. Assess whether the relationship is healthy and supportive. Consider whether both partners are willing to work through challenges and make compromises for the well-being of the relationship. Establish clear boundaries for yourself. Determine what you are willing to accept and what you cannot tolerate in the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your own well-being. If both families are open to it, consider seeking the help of a mediator or counselor who can facilitate discussions and help find common ground. Mediation can be a constructive way to address conflicts and find solutions.
Ultimately, prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If the relationship is causing you significant distress, it's important to evaluate whether it's a healthy and fulfilling partnership for you. it's okay to seek professional help or legal advice if needed. Making decisions about your future can be challenging, but it's crucial to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. If you find it difficult to navigate these issues on your own, seeking guidance from professionals or supportive friends can make a significant difference.
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Answered on Dec 08, 2023

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Hello ma'am hope you are fine and doing well! My question is regarding with your previous two question-answers. In 1st question a man's wife has confessed to him that she was in contact with another man and in second question a man discovered his wife was in relation with another man as she was feeling emotionally down. So my question is that how can be determined that our partner is cheating as many of us are in contact or talking to our friends from opposite gender. How can we draw boundaries because in both the above cases at first glance it doesn't seems wrong if they were just talking to another men . But still it is cheating. Please clear my doubts
Ans: Hello Samrat,
I am doing well, thank you for asking. hope you are doing well too, coming to your question determining whether a partner is cheating can be a sensitive and complex issue. It's important to recognize that the definition of cheating can vary from person to person and from relationship to relationship. What one person considers acceptable behavior may be seen as a breach of trust by another. Open and honest communication is crucial in any relationship. Clearly express your expectations, boundaries, and feelings to your partner. Discuss what each of you considers acceptable behavior and what constitutes a breach of trust. Setting boundaries collaboratively helps ensure that both partners are comfortable with the agreed-upon rules. If you have a gut feeling that something is off, don't ignore it. While intuition is not foolproof, it can be a valuable signal that something may need addressing. Trust your instincts but also approach the situation with a level-headed mindset. Cheating is not always about physical involvement. Emotional infidelity, where a partner develops a deep emotional connection with someone else, can be just as damaging to a relationship. Discuss how you both define emotional boundaries A healthy relationship often involves transparency. This doesn't mean constant surveillance, but it does involve being open about friendships, activities, and interactions. Hiding communication or being secretive may raise concerns. Trust is built on respecting boundaries. Make sure you're not excessively invading your partner's privacy without valid reasons. It's important to reflect on your own expectations and ensure they are realistic. While it's reasonable to expect honesty and faithfulness, being overly controlling or possessive can strain a relationship.

Remember, the key is to have open and ongoing communication with your partner. Building and maintaining trust is a continuous process that requires effort from both sides. If you have concerns, addressing them constructively rather than making assumptions is the best way to move forward.
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Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 13, 2023Translate
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Hello, Kanchan. I earlier wrote to you earlier (link: surl.li/ncpnu) regarding my vulnerabilities - my being jobless since more than a year, financial hardships & toxic atmosphere at home, specifically my wife from being nagging to being nasty, never caring about what I go through at times. I do acknowledge and appreciate that she does most of the stuff- cooking, going to work & teaching our kid. But so do I- I play my part as much as I can while dealing with energy issues & depression- but that doesn't mean I don't do anything- I do all kinds of non-economic auxilliary work at homefront which does not go appreciated or acknowledged. I help her carry on with her job like dropping/picking her at work, and at home I do help her with chores, taking care of outdoor work, groceries, listening & empathising how her day at work went, etc. There are many balls we are juggling & I know for sure that we should not be handling one too many as we can't do justice to any of them or at worst we may miss the priorities! But we are helpless since there is no help at hand. I contemplated speaking to her but firstly, I never get enough time to discuss in the issues in pragmatic manner (she loses patience and cool very soon & not a very good critic of herself- something she accuses me of as well), and secondly even if time permits, never get a calm, relaxed atmosphere that would ensure non-judgemental attitude to tackle things head on. Such times it is difficult even to help her- I even mentioned this repeatedly to her that she's becoming like a cactus- that anyone even trying to help her is bound to get hurt & that's the reason people would rather prefer to keep a distance from her. I have been concerned about her BP rising due to her overwhelming insecurity, but all she says such times is the only solution would be when I find a good job, something which I have a very limited control over, given 1) my age factor which hampers learning; 2) gaps in my employable skills & 3) inability to deal with emotions while trying to deal with too many things at a time. I know that retorting back would not serve the purpose hence try to cool/balance things off & try to act calmly with her. If I mention inability due to my mental state, she just gets furious thinking that I am making excuses and doesn't empathise with me at all, even though she herself went through similar phases in recent months, but only difference is that she got an opportunity due to her goodwill easily while I continue to languish, engaged in self-defeating emotions and thoughts. As a result, my efforts are half-hearted, bearing no positive results and day by day, I lose motivation. Hesitate to seek any professional help due to some reasons: 1) it is costly & time consuming. 2) Me alone putting efforts in getting cured won't serve any purpose (it may relapse due to unsupportive environ at home) unless there's attitudinal shift with family members too. I don't know what to do, please help.
Ans: Hello..I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging time. It sounds like you're dealing with a complex set of issues, including joblessness, financial hardships, a toxic home environment, and personal struggles with mental health. Coping with these difficulties can be overwhelming,Try to find a calm and appropriate time to have an open and honest conversation with your wife. Express your feelings, concerns, and frustrations, emphasizing that you both need to work together to find solutions. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory. Acknowledge the contributions your wife makes and express gratitude for the work she does. This might help create a more positive atmosphere for communication. While you've expressed hesitation about seeking professional help, therapy or counseling can be incredibly beneficial. Some therapists offer sliding scale fees or may provide services on a reduced cost basis. Discussing your concerns with a mental health professional can offer you tools to cope and may help facilitate better communication within your family. Continue working on your job search and consider acquiring new skills that might make you more employable. Online courses and workshops are available, and you can often find free or low-cost resources to build upon your skills. Take time for self-care, both physical and mental. Even small activities like a short walk, reading a book, or practicing mindfulness can make a significant difference in managing stress and depression. Acknowledge your limitations and set realistic expectations for yourself. Understand that you can only do so much, and it's okay to ask for help or delegate tasks when needed.
Remember that it's okay to ask for help and take steps at your own pace. It's essential to prioritize your mental health and well-being. If you find it challenging to address these issues alone, reaching out to a professional for support can be a crucial step in the right direction.
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Answered on Dec 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 07, 2023Translate
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I am dating my boss for the last 5 years. I am unmarried and he is committed to another woman. It started as a fling but now I am getting serious and stressed. My colleagues gossip about me and I want to quit as this relationship is affecting my work as well. How do I control my emotions and walk away with dignity?
Ans: Hello there, It's understandable that navigating a relationship with your boss, especially when it's causing stress and affecting your work environment, can be challenging Clearly communicate your boundaries to your boss. Let him know how the relationship is affecting you and your work. Establishing boundaries will help you maintain a professional environment and signal that you are serious about your decision. Plan your exit strategy from both the personal relationship and your job. This might involve finding a new job or preparing to face potential challenges at your current workplace if you decide to stay Focus on maintaining professionalism at work. Regardless of the gossip or workplace dynamics, continue to perform your job to the best of your ability. This will help you leave on good terms and maintain a positive professional reputation. If the workplace gossip is becoming unbearable or if the relationship is affecting your ability to work, consider talking to someone in HR or a supervisor. They can provide guidance and support, and they may be able to help address any negative impacts on your work environment. Understand that leaving the relationship and, potentially, the job may bring about significant changes. Be mentally prepared for these changes and focus on the positive aspects of moving forward. Prioritize self-care during this challenging time. Focus on activities and practices that bring you joy, relaxation, and a sense of well-being. When you're ready to end the relationship, communicate your decision clearly and calmly. Choose a private and neutral setting to have this conversation. Be honest about your feelings and the reasons behind your decision. Remember, it's essential to prioritize your well-being and make decisions that contribute positively to your life in the long run. Ending a relationship and making changes in your professional life can be challenging, but it's a crucial step towards your own personal growth and happiness.
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Answered on Dec 04, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2023Translate
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Sir, I have a successful career, my wife has a habit of calling my workplace female colleagues everytime and embarassing me. This has happened in Last 3 organization and inspite of strict warning she done that again where she called a very junior female staff coz she saw our team photos and starters abusing her. I somehow managed the situation at work and apologized to the employee and her family. This got spread anyway. She recently walked into my office for opening accounts and surprised me, which was noticed by my organisation. Such behaviour has given wrong clues at my office about my character and I am now in a very vulnerable state. My wife speaks to her male colleagues openly, and once clicked objectionable snaps with them which was highlighted to me by her colleague but I respected her office stature and didn't create a scene. Please help.
Ans: before proceeding, small correction its mam or madam or Kanchan not sir :)
It sounds like you're dealing with a challenging situation that is not only affecting your professional life but also potentially damaging your reputation at work. It's important to address this issue carefully and proactively. Choose a calm and private setting to discuss your concerns with your wife.Express how her actions are impacting your professional life and reputation.
Be honest about the consequences of her behavior and how it's affecting your career.Encourage open communication to understand her perspective and concerns as well. Clearly communicate and establish boundaries regarding personal and professional matters.Discuss and agree on acceptable behaviors and actions within and outside the workplace. If trust has been compromised, work together to rebuild it. This may involve setting mutual expectations and following through with them. If your wife's actions have affected colleagues or subordinates, consider offering a professional apology. Make it clear that her behavior does not reflect your professional values Reinforce the importance of keeping personal and professional lives separate. Discuss the potential consequences of intertwining the two. Consider reflecting on the overall health of your relationship. Determine whether there are underlying issues that need to be addressed for the sake of both your personal and professional well-being. Remember, it's crucial to address these issues delicately and professionally to minimize further impact on your career and personal life. If the situation continues to escalate, it may be helpful to seek guidance from professionals who specialize in relationship counseling or workplace conflict resolution.
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Answered on Nov 30, 2023

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Hi , I am married have a kid and staying happily. My brother-in-law married 3 year back .Now the problem is my brother-in-law and her wife does not have baby. They both consult doctor and the doctor told that my brother-in-law is not capable of produce child. They did not disclose this to any body. Recently I have visited my in law home .My brother-in-law wife's explain this to me. She told me that we need your help (In details she told me that she want to do sex with me for a baby ) then suddenly i got shocked. I did not expect this thing from her. She told me that she already discuss with my brother-in-law regarding doing sex with me for a baby.my brother-in-law agree on that and told her that you only discuss . They are very depressed now. By seeing this sometime i feel that i will help them but the other side i feel that indirectly i am cheating my kid and wife. I am very much love with my kid and wife. So need your suggestion what will be better for me.
Ans: Dear Saroj,
It's understandable that you are facing a challenging and sensitive situation. Have an open and honest conversation with your brother-in-law and his wife. Discuss your concerns and the potential impact on your own family. Make sure all parties involved fully understand the emotional and ethical complexities of such a decision. Reflect on your own values and beliefs. Consider how this decision may align with your principles and the impact it might have on your relationships with your wife and child Think about the potential long-term consequences for all parties involved. This includes the emotional impact on your own family, as well as the potential challenges and dynamics that may arise if a child is born as a result of this arrangement. Discuss the situation with your spouse. Open communication is crucial in a marriage. Share your thoughts, feelings, and concerns, and consider how your spouse feels about the proposal. Explore other options for your brother-in-law and his wife, such as adoption or alternative fertility treatments. These options may provide a way for them to achieve their goal without creating potential complications within your own family. Remember, it's essential to prioritize the well-being of your own family while also approaching the situation with empathy and understanding. Take the time to carefully weigh the potential outcomes and make a decision that aligns with your values and the best interests of everyone involved. If needed, seek professional guidance to navigate through this complex and sensitive situation.
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Answered on Nov 30, 2023

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HI, I am married person aged 45 , i am in a relation with girl who used to work in our office , now she is working somewhere else, but we are in still in touch only in calls and whats app, from last 4-5 months she is asking help me out her form some financial crysis, i am helping her also. but she is treating me like second grade citizen after i am helping her financially and talks me rudely. few time we had heated arguments also, we never had physical relation, whether i should contine or not.
Ans: Dear Avinash,
Your situation is complex, involving both emotional and financial aspects. Reflect on your priorities and values. Consider the impact this relationship may have on your overall well-being, your marriage, and your personal life. It's important to prioritize your own happiness and mental health. If you are comfortable doing so, consider discussing your feelings and concerns with your spouse. Open communication is crucial in maintaining trust and understanding in a marriage.Consider the long-term prospects of this relationship. If it is causing more harm than good, it may be worth reevaluating whether continuing the relationship aligns with your personal goals and values. Evaluate the nature of the financial assistance you are providing. If you feel taken advantage of or if the person is not appreciative of your help, it's crucial to reassess whether continued financial support is appropriate. Establish clear boundaries regarding your relationship, especially given your marital status. If the relationship is causing strain on your marriage or personal well-being, consider whether those boundaries need to be adjusted or reinforced.
Remember, it's essential to prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of those around you. If the relationship is causing distress or negatively impacting your life, it may be time to reassess and make decisions that are in your best interest. Seeking support from friends, family, or professionals can provide valuable perspectives during challenging times.
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Answered on Nov 30, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 29, 2023Translate
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My boss doesn't respect my work and often criticises me in front of other colleagues during meetings. He later apologises in private but continues to behave in the same way. I love my job but I don't want to encourage this attitude. Should I talk to the HR or quit my job out of self respect? I don't know how to handle the situation. Please guide me
Ans: Dealing with a situation where your boss consistently criticizes you in front of colleagues can be challenging. Keep a record of specific instances where your boss criticizes you publicly. Note the date, time, location, and details of each incident. This documentation may be useful if you decide to escalate the issueSchedule a private meeting with your boss to discuss your concerns. Clearly and calmly express how the public criticism is affecting you and your work. Use specific examples to illustrate your points. Share your desire to improve the working relationship and seek constructive feedback. During your conversation, make it clear that you expect professional and constructive feedback in private rather than public criticism Ask for specific examples or details when receiving criticism. This can help you better understand your boss's expectations and address any concerns they may have. After your conversation, send a follow-up email summarizing the key points discussed, including any agreements made about the communication process. This provides a written record of your efforts to address the issue. If the problem persists, and your efforts to resolve the issue with your boss prove unsuccessful, consider reaching out to your Human Resources (HR) department. Provide them with the documented incidents and details of your conversation with your boss. HR may be able to mediate or offer guidance on how to proceed.Familiarize yourself with workplace policies and your rights as an employee. This knowledge can help you understand whether your situation constitutes a violation of company policies or labor laws. Remember, it's essential to prioritize your well-being and professional growth. If the workplace environment is consistently detrimental to your mental health and job satisfaction, exploring alternative opportunities may be a valid consideration. Before making any decisions, weigh the pros and cons and carefully assess the impact on your career and personal life.
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Answered on Nov 30, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 30, 2023Translate
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I have been married for one year. My mother in law has no respect in her talking towards me. She expects me to do all the household things and she doesn't want her daughter to do any kitchen works. Most of the time I feel like she made her son marry me just to do household things. I don't need any appreciation but I can't bear her disrespectful words. And her cunning character and lies. What can I do in such situations
Ans: Dealing with a challenging mother-in-law can be a delicate situation, but it's important to address these concerns to maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse and in-lawsStart by discussing your feelings with your spouse. Share your concerns about your mother-in-law's behavior and how it's affecting you. Ensure that you both are on the same page before addressing the issue with her. When you decide to talk to your mother-in-law, pick a calm and private setting. Avoid confrontations in the heat of the moment, and try to have a rational conversation. Clearly and calmly communicate how her words and actions make you feel. Use "I" statements to express your emotions without blaming her Make it clear what behavior is unacceptable and establish boundaries. Politely but firmly communicate what you are willing and unwilling to tolerate in terms of comments and expectations. If direct communication doesn't yield positive results, consider involving a neutral third party, a trusted family member, to mediate the conversation. Strengthen your relationship with your spouse and build a support system with friends and other family members. Having a strong network can provide emotional support during challenging times. Remember, it may take time to see changes, and it's essential to approach the situation with patience and understanding. Every family dynamic is unique, and finding the right balance may require ongoing effort and communication.
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Answered on Nov 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 25, 2023Translate
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Hi Kanchan! I am a 36 yrs old guy married for 5 years now and we have a 2 yrs old daughter also. My wife has serious mood swings issue. When she is happy, she keeps everyone at house very happy with her jolly nature but when she gets upset, she cribs about being alone rather than having a marital setup and even threatens to leave me. This keeps me distressed and everyone at home has to daily judge her mood and act accordingly which is frustating for them also. I believe she is genuinly a good hearted person and love her too but I always remain in doubt that she will leave me one day and that thought keeps me distressed. Please guide me how to cope up with this.
Ans: Hello there,
Dealing with a partner's mood swings can be challenging, and it's understandable that you're feeling distressed Encourage her to share her feelings and concerns, and express your own thoughts as well. Healthy communication is vital for understanding each other's perspectives Suggest the idea of seeking professional help together, such as couples therapy. A trained therapist can assist in identifying the underlying issues contributing to the mood swings and offer strategies for managing themEmphasize the importance of self-care for both of you. Encourage your wife to engage in activities that bring her joy and relaxation. Additionally, make time for your own self-care to manage stress Learn more about mood swings, potential causes, and coping mechanisms. Understanding the nature of mood swings may help you approach the situation with empathy and patience Reinforce the stability and commitment in your relationship during moments of calm. Remind each other of the positive aspects of your connection to build a sense of security Explore mindfulness or relaxation techniques together. These practices can help manage stress and enhance emotional well-being.

Best wishes
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Answered on Nov 24, 2023

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Hi Ma'am, I got married in 2009 and had a girl in 2010. My wife gained weight after giving birth and didn't make any effort to lose it. We both are working IT professionals. In 2016, her health began to deteriorate, so I sought assistance from my friend who is both an IT professional and a fitness enthusiast. It took her 2 years to get slim, but she keeps training. She began dating that friend, as his wife lives in a different city. After losing his wife in the first wave of COVID-19, they became closer. After that, they began working together. He is rich, handsome and has a very strong position now. Whenever he switches a company, she follows next. She has been more successful than I have been. I lost my job last year and didn't work for 5 months before joining a junior position. I knew they were having a physical relationship but couldn't confront it as I love my daughter a lot and don't want her to suffer. Furthermore, I am not that good in bed and don't have much desire for sex. Their relationship has made her more polite, calm, and caring. Our relationship had many problems before, but now there are very few. I don't want to lose her. I started drinking, but don't enjoy drinking. I am uncertain about the future of this relationship.
Ans: Hello Varun,
sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult and challenging situation. It sounds like there are multiple layers of complexity in your relationship, and it's understandable that you're feeling a range of emotions. Take some time to reflect on your own feelings, desires, and goals. Consider what you want from the relationship and from your own life. Understanding your own needs and desires can help you communicate more effectively with your wife. Drinking to cope with stress and emotions may provide temporary relief but can contribute to long-term problems. If you find yourself turning to alcohol as a coping mechanism, consider seeking healthier alternatives such as exercise, hobbies, or speaking with a mental health professional. While it's natural to want to shield your daughter from any negative impacts, it's also important to consider what is in her best interest in the long run. Children are perceptive, and maintaining a healthy and stable environment is crucial for their well-being.Reflect on the dynamics of your relationship. Consider whether both you and your wife are satisfied with the current arrangement and whether there are changes that can be made to improve the situation Reflect on the dynamics of your relationship. Are there patterns of behavior that need to be addressed? Understanding the root causes of issues can be a crucial step in finding solutions. Remember that every relationship is unique, and there are no one-size-fits-all solutions. Professional guidance can provide personalized support and strategies for navigating through these challenging times. Ultimately, the decisions you make should align with your own values and aspirations for a healthier and more fulfilling life.
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Answered on Nov 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 23, 2023Translate
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Hello Ma'm, My would be wife was an employee of a Private bank & got herself involved in a scam. We fought the legal battle for last 3-4 years, but last year HC ruling went against her & since then she has been jailed. Another 2 years plus term remaining. The prison stay probably has weakened her as off lately she is constantly pushing to break off, says things like forget me & I am not worth you, etc. I keep telling her during the visit hours that I am there for her, but, kind of emotionally she is not able to cope up. Pls guide as I am unable to figure out how to keep her well emotionally & save the relationship.
Ans: hello Mr, Anonymous,
I'm sorry to hear that you and your soon-to-be wife are going through such a challenging situation. Coping with legal issues and imprisonment can be incredibly emotionally draining for both individuals involved. Try to understand her perspective and validate her emotions. Facing imprisonment can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and a sense of worthlessness. Reassure her that you are not judging her and that you want to work through this together. Consider encouraging her to seek emotional support from professionals, such as counselors or therapists. They can provide a safe space for her to explore and process her emotions, helping her cope with the stress and challenges she is facing. Stay connected as much as possible, whether through letters, phone calls, or visits. Regular contact can provide a sense of continuity and emotional support, even during challenging times. Suggest activities that can positively impact her emotional well-being, such as reading, writing, or engaging in hobbies. Encourage her to participate in any available programs or activities within the prison that can contribute to personal growth Discuss plans for the future, both during her time in prison and afterward. Having a vision for the future can provide hope and motivation. This could include plans for reintegration into society and rebuilding your lives together Take care of yourself as well. Supporting a loved one through such a challenging time can be emotionally draining for you too. Make sure you have your own support system and outlets for managing stress.
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Answered on Nov 22, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 21, 2023Translate
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Hi, I have been married to my love for the last 20 years and have a 15 yr old son. I had a restaurant for 3 years and had got attracted to the executive chef who later became a partner in my restaurant. He is not married. During these years and from before that my married life had been very depressing. My husband stays abroad for work and even when he comes we do not gel because we have been living away for too long. We don’t relate to each other any more. We also do not have a sex life during the time I had my restaurant. The chef knows all about my family and often have visited and partied with my husband too. We have crossed the line and have still been in love for the last 4 yrs. He is unmarried and is much younger to me but he is fully committed to me. I can’t understand what to do. Please guide.
Ans: hello there,
It sounds like you are in a complex and emotionally challenging situation. Infidelity and emotional involvement with someone outside of your marriage can be difficult to navigate Decisions about relationships and marriages are significant and often take time. Avoid making impulsive decisions and give yourself the time needed to carefully consider your options.Take into account the impact of your decisions on your son. Children can be profoundly affected by changes in their parents' relationship. Ensure that any decisions made consider his well-being Reflect on what you want for your future. Do you want to work on your marriage, or do you feel that it's irreparable? Make decisions based on what aligns with your values and long-term goals. Assess your relationship with the chef. Consider the potential consequences of continuing this relationship, especially given your commitment to your husband. Understand the impact it may have on all parties involved Open and honest communication is crucial. If you haven't already, have a frank conversation with your husband about your feelings, the state of your marriage, and any areas that need improvement. This may be a difficult conversation, but it's an essential step in understanding each other's perspectives.

All the best.
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Answered on Nov 22, 2023

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I am 43 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some reason they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide
Ans: Dear P,
This is undoubtedly a complex and emotionally challenging situation. It's important to approach it with care and consideration for both your feelings and hers. Reflect on your own feelings and desires. Consider what you want in a relationship and whether you can realistically achieve those goals in this situation Talk to her about your concerns, fears, and the impact this situation has on both of you. Discuss the future and what you both want. Ensure that you're on the same page about your expectations and the potential challenges that may arise Understand the potential consequences of continuing this relationship. Consider the impact on her family, your own well-being, and the well-being of any children involved. Be realistic about the challenges you may face. Consider the long-term implications of the relationship. If there is no possibility of it evolving into a more conventional partnership and that is something you desire, you may need to evaluate whether continuing the relationship is in your best interest Ultimately, the decision you make should align with your values, desires, and what you believe is best for your overall well-being. It may be a difficult decision to make, but taking the time to reflect, communicate, and seek guidance can help you navigate this challenging situation.
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