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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |657 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 22, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025Hindi
Relationship

Inam finding difficulty to get second marriage after my first marriage ended in divorce. I am 39 year female. Please suggest ways to get a good companion how to choose at this age and also I am looking guy with no issues/children and within same community which I belong.

Ans: First, be clear within yourself about what you truly seek — not just "no past baggage" but also shared values, lifestyle compatibility, emotional maturity, and a sense of peace when you're with him. You’re not just choosing a partner — you’re choosing a future that aligns with the person you’ve grown into.

Since you are specific about the community and the absence of children from a previous marriage, you may need to be strategic but open in where you look. Along with trusted matrimonial platforms (you may try both community-based ones and modern curated matchmaking services), also let friends or extended family you trust know that you’re open to exploring proposals — sometimes word-of-mouth alliances bring surprisingly good connections.

While choosing, don’t just assess background or profession — give time to observe his emotional depth, communication style, respect for your past, and how he responds to small differences or stress. These are the real foundations for peace and partnership.

Also, give yourself permission to set boundaries without guilt. You are not obligated to compromise your standards just because it’s a second marriage or because of age. You deserve companionship, not adjustment.

And perhaps most importantly, don’t let societal timelines cloud your confidence. You are 39, not late — just clearer than before. Be honest, hopeful, and patient with yourself.

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2023

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Relationship
Sir. After 2 unwanted marriages, the first fiXed by my 2nd half-brother and then my mother i am now staying alone for the last 20 years and am 72 going on 73. The thing is that i need a lady companion to ease my remainang years...how should i go about the companion thing. I am fit and hale and normal built happy. Ride a Honda Hornet to get aroung and i love riding bikes and gave up my car mobility when i left the gulf job.. Thanks
Ans: It's wonderful that you're looking for companionship to add joy to your life in your later years. Here are a few steps you could consider taking to find a compatible companion:

Social Activities: Engage in social activities that align with your interests. This could include joining clubs, groups, or hobby-related gatherings that involve activities you enjoy, such as biking clubs, book clubs, or local community events. Participating in these activities can help you meet like-minded individuals who share your interests.

Online Platforms: There are various online platforms designed to help people connect and find companionship. You could explore senior-specific dating sites or social networks that cater to individuals in your age group. Be cautious and take your time getting to know people before making any commitments.

Local Community: Attend events and activities in your local community. This could include attending workshops, classes, lectures, or volunteering opportunities. These events provide opportunities to meet new people and strike up conversations.

Mutual Friends: Your existing circle of friends and acquaintances may have connections to individuals who are also looking for companionship. Don't hesitate to express your interest in finding a companion to those around you.

Travel and Adventure Groups: Since you enjoy biking and adventure, consider joining travel or adventure groups that focus on activities you're passionate about. This can be a great way to connect with others who share your interests.

Be Open and Approachable: When you're out and about, be open to striking up conversations with people you meet. A friendly and approachable demeanor can make it easier for others to approach you.

Take Your Time: Finding the right companion is important, so don't rush into anything. Take your time to get to know people, their interests, and their values before considering a deeper connection.

Stay Safe: While seeking companionship, be cautious and prioritize your safety. Be mindful of sharing personal information too quickly and meet new people in public places initially.

Communicate Clearly: When you start forming connections, communicate openly about your intentions, expectations, and the kind of companionship you're seeking. Honesty can go a long way in building meaningful relationships.

Friendship First: Focus on building a foundation of friendship before moving towards a romantic relationship. Companionship can come in various forms, and starting as friends can lead to deeper connections.

Remember that finding the right companion takes time and effort. Be patient and enjoy the process of meeting new people and forming connections. Keep an open heart and mind, and you might just find a wonderful companion to share your interests and experiences with in your later years.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |657 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am 42 Female currently, last marriage didn't go well, afraid of new start, I neither type of person who can go to club etc etc to "find someone" - What's the best way to move forward, Do we have genuine way of finding someone who can become reliable partner too (No tinder etc as again I knw myself now at this age, I can't) - Please guide
Ans: One of the best ways to meet someone compatible is through shared interests and environments where you feel at ease. Consider engaging in activities or communities that resonate with you. This could include joining local interest groups, volunteering, or taking classes in areas you’re passionate about. These settings not only provide opportunities to meet like-minded individuals but also allow connections to develop organically over shared experiences and values.

Another valuable approach is to lean on your existing network. Friends, family, and colleagues often know you well and can introduce you to others who might be a good match. These introductions can be more comfortable and trustworthy since they come from people who understand your personality and values.

It’s also important to give yourself time and space to heal and grow from past experiences. Building a reliable and meaningful relationship starts with being in a place where you feel confident and whole on your own. This self-awareness and emotional readiness will naturally attract the right kind of partner who values and respects you for who you are.

Remember, there’s no rush or specific timeline you need to adhere to. Allow relationships to develop at a pace that feels right for you, and focus on building connections that are based on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. Trust that the right person will come into your life when the time is right, and until then, prioritize your own happiness and well-being.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |657 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hello I am 41 years old but due to careless in life I can't take decision for marriage but now I am realising something wrong happened i started searching alliance but didn't get I want to be relation soon. Please guide me
Ans: It’s completely okay to have taken time figuring out what you wanted in life. Sometimes we don’t move forward simply because we weren’t ready, or we lacked the clarity or emotional support needed at the time. But that doesn't mean you're behind. Everyone’s timeline is different, and yours is still very much unfolding.

Now that you're feeling ready for a serious relationship, here are a few steps you can take to approach this new chapter with confidence and self-awareness.

Start with clarity. Reflect on what kind of partner you're looking for—not just in terms of age or background, but emotionally and mentally. What values matter to you? What kind of connection are you seeking? Are you open to someone who has been married before? Children? When you’re clear, it becomes easier to recognize the right person when they appear.

At the same time, look inward. Do some emotional housekeeping. Ask yourself: What kind of partner do I want to be? Am I emotionally available? Am I still carrying regret, fear, or pressure about being “late” to marriage? Because entering a relationship out of guilt or urgency often leads to settling. But entering it from a place of self-respect and genuine desire creates something meaningful.

Since you're actively searching, it’s okay to use all tools at your disposal—matrimonial sites, family networks, friends, or even a good matchmaker if culturally appropriate. But be patient and realistic. Finding someone who is also ready, aligned with your values, and emotionally compatible can take time.

Also, try not to let pressure—internal or external—rush you. You don’t need a "perfect" partner; you need someone who sees you, respects you, and is willing to grow with you.

And here’s something to hold on to: many people find love in their 40s, 50s, even later—and those relationships are often more conscious, mature, and fulfilling, because they’re built on real-life experience and emotional wisdom, not just youthful impulse.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11151 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 22, 2026

Money
If I want to withdraw 1.5 lac per month, which SWP is better and how much should I invest in it?
Ans: It is very good that you are planning SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) in advance. Planning monthly income properly helps protect your capital and gives stable cash flow.

To withdraw Rs 1.5 lakh per month, the correct SWP structure depends mainly on:

– your age
– investment horizon
– whether income is required lifelong or for limited years
– existing retirement corpus
– risk tolerance

Still, I will guide you with a practical structure that suits most long-term SWP income needs.

» How much investment is required to withdraw Rs 1.5 lakh per month

Normally, safe SWP withdrawal rate should be around:

– 6% yearly for very safe structure
– 7% yearly for balanced structure
– 8% yearly for growth-oriented structure

Based on this:

Approximate investment required:

– Conservative structure: around Rs 3 crore
– Balanced structure: around Rs 2.5 crore
– Growth-oriented structure: around Rs 2.25 crore

This allows income sustainability without early capital depletion.

If withdrawal period is limited (example 15 years), required corpus may be lower.

If income required lifelong, higher corpus is safer.

» Which mutual fund categories are best for SWP income

Best SWP income normally comes from a combination approach.

Ideal structure:

– 40% Multi asset allocation category fund
– 30% Balanced advantage category fund
– 20% Flexi cap category fund
– 10% Short duration debt category fund

This structure provides:

– income stability
– inflation protection
– market downside control
– long-term capital sustainability

Avoid using only pure equity category funds for SWP.

Avoid using only debt category funds also because inflation reduces value.

Combination approach works best.

» Why multi asset allocation category fund works well for SWP

This category invests across:

– equity
– debt
– gold

It adjusts allocation automatically and supports stable withdrawal planning.

Very suitable for retirement-style monthly income planning.

» Tax efficiency advantage of SWP

SWP is more tax-efficient compared to interest income.

Because:

– only capital gain portion is taxed
– equity mutual fund LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– debt fund gains taxed as per income slab

So proper category selection improves post-tax income.

» How to structure SWP correctly

Better approach:

– keep 2 years withdrawal amount in short duration debt category fund
– keep remaining corpus in multi asset + balanced advantage category funds
– review once per year
– increase withdrawal gradually based on inflation

This protects income continuity during market corrections.

» Important preparation before starting SWP

Before starting SWP ensure:

– emergency fund available separately
– health insurance active
– no high-interest loans pending
– nominee details updated

These steps protect retirement income stability.

» Finally

To withdraw Rs 1.5 lakh monthly comfortably, target corpus should ideally be between Rs 2.25 crore and Rs 3 crore depending on risk level.

Use combination of multi asset, balanced advantage, flexi cap and short duration debt category funds instead of relying on a single category. This improves income stability and protects capital for long-term sustainability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |11050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 22, 2026

Career
Namaskar, My son has got 93.60 percentile in JEE mains 2026 with General rank 100144 and OBC NCL rank 32618. I request you to kindly guide me can he get admission in SGSITS, Indore in CSE / IT / ETC branch having MP domicile or any other better option as per your recommendation.
Ans: Govind Sir, With 93.60 percentile, CRL 1,00,144 and OBC-NCL rank 32,618 (MP domicile), your son should try both MP BE counselling and JoSAA. For SGSITS Indore, recent MP-counselling data show General home-state closing ranks around CSE 18,410, IT 37,589, ETC 48,484 in 2025, so CSE looks difficult, IT is borderline, and ETC appears the most realistic; OBC-MP quota may improve chances somewhat. For JoSAA, at OBC 32,618, expect mainly lower-demand branches in mid/lower NITs, IIITs and GFTIs, not CSE/IT in top institutes. My recommendation: SGSITS ETC/IT first, then good MP colleges like IET-DAVV/JEC, while keeping JoSAA + CSAB as backup. (I suggest you also cross-check the JoSAA opening and closing ranks data from the last 2–3 years before filling in the maximum number of your son’s preferred institutions and branches during counselling). ALL the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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