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Kanchan Rai |646 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Question by Rehana on Jun 24, 2025Hindi

What questions can and should a boy's mother ask when going to see a bride for him?

Ans: it’s important that the conversation is warm, respectful, and focused on getting to know the girl as a person — not as a checklist. She can begin by asking the girl about her interests and passions, to understand what brings her happiness and how she spends her time. Questions about the girl’s thoughts on her future, like what kind of life she envisions after marriage, help give insight into her goals and whether she wants to continue working or pursue any dreams.
It’s also thoughtful to ask about the values that have shaped her while growing up, which opens a space for connection rather than judgment. Asking how she sees her role in a family — not just as a wife but also as a daughter-in-law — can lead to an honest discussion about expectations and boundaries in a shared home, if that’s the arrangement.

Instead of assuming, it’s better for the mother to gently inquire about how the girl handles tough situations or disagreements. This shows her emotional maturity and communication style. The tone should be conversational, not interrogative — the idea is to build comfort, not pressure. Ultimately, these questions should be guided by curiosity, empathy, and the genuine intention to understand whether the girl and the boy can build a respectful and fulfilling partnership together.

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Love Guru | Answer |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 28, 2022

Question by Manali - Oct 28, 2022Hindi

Dear Love Guru,I am 30 and have not been able to find a partner.So have agreed to look at bridegrooms my parents suggest and consider an arranged marriage.What kind of questions do you think I should ask the men I meet on our ‘arranged dates’.Thank you,Manali

Ans:

Dear Manali,

Arranged or not, there has to be some initial attraction or interest when you meet all these would-be Romeos.

The manner of a person matters; how well-spoken he is, how open, honest, good-humoured.

You could ask what expectations he has of marriage and a life partner, for a start? Personal beliefs, religious beliefs, political affiliations... all of these are important when you're considering spending the rest of your life with a person.

Speak freely, and know that conversation is the way to go, not a QnA session Kaun Banega Crorepati style!

And most importantly, do not settle for someone. Please note, I'm saying it again -- some kind of spark should be there in order to pursue things.

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