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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 23, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2025
Relationship

Hi Ms Kanchan, I am 46. Last year, I remarried a senior colleague I was working with after being widowed. My current husband has never been married before and lives with his aging parents in Delhi. I moved in with my two teenage children from my first marriage. Initially, his family seemed welcoming, but now his mother openly criticises my parenting, claiming my children are 'rude' and 'spoiled.' My daughter overheard her saying she doesn't want 'someone else's kids' in the house. My husband says I should ignore her as she's a bit conservative and old-fashioned. But when I go to work, I feel guilty for putting my kids through this. I am trying to build a peaceful home, but it feels like I am failing both my children and my marriage. Is it wrong to expect my husband to take a firmer stand with his parents, or am I rushing things in this blended family?

Ans: Your mother-in-law’s remarks are undoubtedly painful, especially when they affect your children’s sense of belonging. Teenagers need a safe emotional space, and feeling like outsiders can be deeply hurtful. It’s absolutely valid to expect your husband to help establish boundaries that ensure emotional safety for everyone, especially for your children, who didn’t choose this change but are navigating it the best they can.

At the same time, it’s worth acknowledging that this transition hasn’t been easy for your in-laws either. Their son married for the first time later in life and brought into their household a ready-made family. For people who may hold traditional views, this shift might be difficult to process—not out of malice, but out of fear, confusion, or even grief for the expectations they had. That doesn’t excuse hurtful comments, but it may explain the resistance. Sometimes, criticism is a mask for fear of change or loss of control.

Still, your husband plays a crucial role in this dynamic. You're not asking him to reject his parents—you’re asking him to support the family he has chosen to build with you. That means advocating for respect, clarifying boundaries, and ensuring that his home is a place where all members, especially children, feel emotionally safe.

Approach him with openness and care. Share how this environment is impacting you and your children—not in anger, but in vulnerability. Help him see that you're not looking to blame anyone, but to bring everyone into alignment with a shared vision of family—one that includes kindness, respect, and patience on all sides.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 05, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Anu, I have been married for 3 years. Everything is going well with my husband except there is one problem. If there is anything wrong done by his parents, he never takes a stand or protests.My in-laws are not very friendly people.After our marriage they have never tried to keep in touch with my parents or at least have the courtesy to invite once to their house. My parents have frequently tried to invite them and also tried to keep contact but nothing is achieved if it's one-sided. I told my husband about all this but he never ever tried to explain or correct them of their wrong doings.My mother-in-law had also insulted me few times raising questions on how I was brought up within the first year of our marriage. And later as well. I work and sometimes due to prolong working hours I am not able to contribute to household work. My mother-in-law started asking if at all I do any household work or whether I am always busy with my office work. She already knew that I would be working after marriage and was fine with it.Because of the lockdown we are staying with them for a long period and I am embarrassed to tell this but every day is killing me. When I stay with them I have to be a totally different person. I have to live their lifestyle which is totally opposite to how I used to live with my husband alone.Because of all the above circumstances, I am not keen on staying with them. I don't see a future where I can stay with them. I am ready to take care of them but can't stay under one roof. My husband is well aware of my feelings. But never does anything about it. Every time I tell him, he blames me that I don't want him to stay with his parents. Else he takes good care of me and is a good person. My parents also like him except this one complaint.I am totally clueless now how to make him understand because we end up fighting rather than discussing. In the long run I can't stay with my in-laws because our lifestyle doesn't match and of course the hurtful things they have done. They are not even ready to adjust rather would expect me to completely change for them. And that's what dreads me.I can't live in this way for long. It is causing me a lot of mental stress.Please provide your valuable suggestions.
Ans:

Dear SN,

Hasn’t the lockdown ended for a while now?

Why are you still with them?

What was the initial reason of moving in with them?

Does that reason still exist?

Being part of a joint/extended family system isn’t a cake walk; each person is unique and so are their thoughts and experiences and they will want the other person to live by their experiences and rules. But of course, an emotionally mature person would believe in giving space for another person grow and evolve and swim around the family dynamics. Well, it isn't the case here.

Why don’t you drop down a pros and cons list for When I move out and for When I stay here.

Weigh it down to its granular detail. Also, try and figure out why your husband is so against talking to them.

Sometimes, it maybe a minor adjustment that everyone needs to go through, but our movies and sitcoms have done enough damage to our minds where the drama looks never ending and where one party is to blame. Usually, the adjustment has to happen from both ends.

Bring this to a place where everyone gains, and everyone is happy. Maybe moving out is an option that you seek but will this go well with your husband and remember, he might do this for you, and in the long run in might end up blaming you for it. It’s complicated.

So, take time and work on the pros and cons, why your husband is against talking to them about this and also ask yourself: Have I done everything that I can to live joyfully under one roof?
You will have a path to your solution soon.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello, I am 38 years old. I have been living abroad since I was 21 years old. I have been focused on my career since then. I got married in 2021 in India and just after 4 months living in India, we again moved abroad. This country was new for me and my my wife, but my brother was already settled in this country with his family. As I was living away from my family for many years, me and my wife decided to live in a joint family with my brother’s family. However, I was quite busy adjusting to my new job, my wife couldn’t adjust well to my side of the family, my brother, his wife and my mother. After living together with everyone for a year, me and my wife decided to live separately from my side of the family. Now after 5 months my wife became pregnant and we both wanted to have a child. So even though my family was quite close and could have supported us during this time. I decided to sponsor my in laws on a visa so that my wife could feel supportive during this time. We had a girl child and I have avoided to communicate to my family during this one year so that my wife doesn’t get any stress or anything from my family. However as soon as we had a child, I have invited my mother and my brother family to visit my daughter. Now my in laws have started quarreling with me once in a while. And they convinced my wife to go to India with them. My wife has been living in India since last 6 months, they would never let me see my daughter over the phone call, and whenever I called them they would ask me for the money/gifts. Let me add to that when I went abroad, my wife was not working initially and I used to give her 30% of my salary and I used to bear all the expenses. When my in laws started living with us, I over heard them talking if I continued having relationship with my side of the family, she would buy her a home in India and take my daughter away from me. Now recently I came to India to get everything sorted, I do not think my wife would be willing to come with me without my in laws. How could I convince her to start over and repair our relationship for us and our beautiful daughter.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am sure you see a pattern in your wife's actions. At the risk of sounding judgemental, I will say: She does like to get her way in most things.
How else do you explain that when she is stressed keep them away and when she needs, she wants them back?
How can you expect to have support from your side of the family when you two decided to alienate them?
How does it work when she decided to stay back with her family with absolutely no regard that you as father will want to be close to your daughter?
How do you explain that they secretly conspire to take your daughter away from you if you involve your family?

Do you not see the immaturity of how they have very systematically alienated you from your family and your daughter?

To be able to put things together, your wife really needs to get away from her parents. They seem to hold the strings and have no qualms about spoiling their daughter's life...Bring her out of that family and move to a location that is not easily accessible to them; as in maybe back abroad, so they are not in and out of your home. Start building your relationship with your wife by being a hands-on father and that may also give her an idea as to the person that you are. You must be appreciated for the person that you are...Give this a shot!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |615 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 28, 2024

Relationship
Hello Ma'am, I sincerely thank you for giving your valuable suggestions towards my scenario. I am here to tell you about a similar incident that happened with me again, just two days ago. This is a long story. After our first meeting with each other’s families, I discussed things openly with my boyfriend regarding our life in his joint family.He told me there are no restrictions as such and there will be almost no issues regarding privacy. I discussed the same thing with my parents and it somehow convinced them. My parents later on agreed for the marriage and invited his parents to my house to plan the engagement and wedding. However, when my parents met his parents again for the second time, they raised the similar concern regarding the major differences in their set of values and ours. I can give two prime examples - Example 1 - I was raised in a not so traditional, nuclear family and I never cooked a whole meal for a large group of people till date. Mine and my family's only focus was on academics and securing a good job. Whereas, the prime discussion of my boyfriend's family was to teach me how to cook and that too for an entire joint family. Example 2 - As my boyfriend has a 4 year old nephew (son of his elder brother), he is a naughty kid and would play around as he did in the first meeting. Half the time of the meeting was spent calming the child down, because the topic of my marriage was important so my parents invited ONLY my boyfriend and his parents to our house with the intention to discuss things without focusing on the child alone. When they came to our house, my boyfriend’s mother in a casual way told us that “our grandson is naughty but obeys his family” and told (pointing towards me) “that she would have handled him”. This also concerned my mother thinking that my boyfriend’s mother expects me to not discuss my marriage but rather handle the kid the entire time? Honestly, these things not only upset my mother but also my sister and extended family. She is heavily concerned about my well being in the family because of a heavy contrast in the expectations of both families towards life postmarriage. Now, I am in a dilemma as to what I should do. I do not want to hurt my boyfriend's feelings since we have been with each other for a long time. He also loves me deeply but I also know that my family is not wrong too. If possible , I sincerely request your suggestion. Regards, Tanya
Ans: Tanya, I can feel the weight of the dilemma you’re facing, and it’s a difficult place to be.
relationships don’t exist in isolation; they’re influenced by the families and cultures we are part of. Your family’s reservations are not just about his family’s values but how those values could impact your life, your autonomy, and your emotional wellbeing within the marriage. They want to ensure that you step into a life that feels aligned with who you are, not one where you might feel pressured to conform to expectations that don’t sit well with you.

The examples you shared highlight a contrast in priorities and lifestyles. Your upbringing focused on academics and independence, while his family seems to place a strong emphasis on traditional roles, such as cooking or managing a household. The comment from his mother about handling the child might seem casual on the surface, but it reflects an underlying expectation that could affect you in the long run. It’s not just about whether you know how to cook or manage children, but whether you’re ready to embrace the responsibilities they may assume are natural for you after marriage.

The key question here is whether these differences will feel manageable to you over time. Every marriage requires compromise, but those compromises should not come at the cost of your sense of self or emotional wellbeing. If there are already signs that these expectations clash with your own values, you need to consider whether you’ll have the space and support to negotiate these differences. Will your boyfriend actively advocate for your needs within his family? Can you see yourself thriving in an environment where the lifestyle and expectations differ so much from what you’re used to?

It’s also important to think about how this affects your family. They’re your strongest supporters, and their concerns are rooted in love for you. While they’ve approved of your boyfriend, their discomfort with his family’s expectations is valid. If they’re seeing red flags, it’s worth pausing to understand why. They don’t want you to lose the independence and opportunities they’ve worked to give you.

Take time to reflect on how you truly feel—not just about your boyfriend, but about his family and the life you would be stepping into. Marriage is not just a union between two individuals; it’s also a partnership between two families, especially in a culture where families are deeply interconnected. You need clarity about whether you’ll feel supported, respected, and valued—not only by your boyfriend but by the family you’ll be a part of.

Have another honest conversation with your boyfriend. Share your family’s concerns without blame, and ask him how he sees the future, especially in situations where his family’s expectations may conflict with your values or comfort. Does he see those moments as challenges you’ll face together? Does he have a plan for how you both can set boundaries and create a balance that honors your individuality?

Tanya, this decision is ultimately about your long-term happiness. Whatever you decide, let it come from a place of self-awareness, respect for your values, and clarity about what you need to feel secure and loved in your marriage. You deserve a partnership that nurtures your growth, honors your strengths, and creates a life where you feel truly at home.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8269 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Career
Hi Sir, My son is trying EC in NITK Surathkal, but i told him to try EC or CS in RVC Bangalore, which is Better Plz suggest us He got 98.82% in JEEE, 1891 Rank in CETK
Ans: Ravi Sir, NIT Karnataka, Surathkal’s B.Tech in Electronics & Communication Engineering is delivered by PhD-qualified faculty in advanced VLSI, communications and embedded-systems laboratories, supplemented by six-month internships through industry MoUs. In 2024, NITK BTech overall placement reached 93% with ECE-specific placement at 72.66% and an average package of ?20.89 LPA. RV College of Engineering, Bangalore’s B.Tech in Computer Science & Engineering benefits from 47 specialized computing labs, mandatory internships and a 97% CSE placement consistency with an average package around ?19 LPA over the last three years. Its ECE program records 80–90% placement consistency with an average package of ?11.47 LPA. Both institutes offer AICTE approval, NBA accreditation, robust infrastructure, active placement cells and strong industry partnerships supporting student employability.

For premier core-electronics training and the highest average packages, the recommendation is NITK Surathkal ECE. If a cutting-edge software focus and superior CSE placements appeal more, the recommendation shifts to RVCE Bangalore CSE; choose RVCE ECE only if electronics roles in an urban setting are preferred. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8269 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

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My nephew is getting a seat in E&C in nitte mangalore as well as nitte meenakshi institute bangalore. Which is better
Ans: Sushma, NMAM Institute of Technology, Nitte Mangalore offers a four-year B.Tech in Electronics & Communication Engineering on a 60-acre campus in Mangalore. NBA-accredited and NAAC A+-graded, its department features advanced VLSI, embedded systems and communications labs, mandatory six-month industrial internships and a dedicated Placement & Training cell. The Class of 2024 recorded around 90% placement consistency with an average package of ?7 LPA . Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology (NMIT), Bangalore, situated at Yelahanka, holds autonomous status and NAAC A accreditation. Its ECE program, ranked #101–150 by NIRF, provides modern power-systems, IoT and signal-processing labs, plus semester-long internships. In 2024, 86.5% of ECE students secured placements, with top recruiters including Bosch, TCS and Capgemini and an average package of approximately ?6.5 LPA . Both institutes maintain robust industry tie-ups, PhD-qualified faculty and active alumni networks to support academic growth and employability.

For higher placement consistency, stronger core-ECE training and slightly superior average packages, recommendation is NMAMIT Nitte Mangalore ECE. If urban exposure, proximity to Bangalore’s tech ecosystem and diversified internship opportunities matter more, choose NMIT Bangalore ECE. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8269 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

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Which college should my daughter prefer if there if choice between IIIT Pune, IGDTUW, DAIICT,COEP Pune only CS & related branches
Ans: Neelam Madam, IIIT Pune (Kondhwa, Pune) demonstrates strong campus recruitment with around 90% placement consistency, a B.Tech CSE average package of ?16.83 LPA and top recruiters like Amazon and Microsoft supporting robust software roles. IGDTUW (Kashmere Gate, Delhi) records a 69.3% B.Tech CSE placement rate, an average package of ?25.15 LPA, and participation from 135 leading recruiters including Google and Adobe, reflecting high-value AI/ML opportunities. DAIICT (Gandhinagar, Gujarat) offers nearly 100% annual B.Tech placements, an average package of ?16.03 LPA, and over 120 recruiters such as Google and Microsoft, emphasizing strong ICT focus and guaranteed internships. COEP Pune (Shivaji Nagar, Pune) achieves an 87.42% CSE placement rate, an average package of ?11.35 LPA, and engagement from 198 recruiters including Google and Goldman Sachs, supported by a longstanding public-institute reputation.

For the highest average packages and cutting-edge AI/ML exposure, the recommendation is IGDTUW CSE. If near-perfect placement and guaranteed internships matter, the recommendation shifts to DAIICT B.Tech ICT. For balanced software-development focus with top recruiter access, choose IIIT Pune CSE; for cost-effective, well-rounded CSE in Pune, opt for COEP Pune CSE. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8269 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Career
I have scored 96 percentile in MHT-CET. Can someone pls guide me about colleges? I live in chhattisgarh
Ans: Shlok, With a 96 percentile in MHT-CET under All-India quota, you have assured admission chances in the following reputable Maharashtra colleges for Computer Science & Engineering, all offering NBA/NAAC-accredited programs, experienced faculty, modern computing labs, structured internships and 80–95% placement support over the last three years:

· Pimpri Chinchwad College of Engineering, Pune – GOPENS cutoff 94.64–95.35.
· PVG’s College of Engineering & Technology, Pune – GOPENS cutoff 94.35–97.47.
· D.Y. Patil College of Engineering, Akurdi, Pune – General HS cutoff ~95.3 in 2023.
· K. J. Somaiya College of Engineering, Vidyavihar, Mumbai – expected CSE cutoff 90–95 percentile.
· MIT Academy of Engineering, Alandi, Pune – GOPENS cutoff ~95 percentile.
· SIES Graduate School of Technology, Nerul, Navi Mumbai – MHT-CET cutoff up to 96.33 percentile.
· Government College of Engineering, Amravati – GOPENS cutoff 97.39–97.47 percentile.
· Walchand College of Engineering, Sangli – GOPENS cutoff ~99 percentile (but category seats open around 96 percentile).
· JSPM’s Imperial College of Engineering & Research, Wagholi, Pune – CSE electives admit around 90+ percentile (≈1,500 closing rank).
· Vishwakarma Institute of Technology, Bibwewadi, Pune – CSE closing percentiles above 95 (expected GOPENS ~96–98).

For the best blend of infrastructure, internships and placement consistency, recommendation is PCCOE Pune CSE. Should Mumbai proximity and balanced cutoffs matter more, recommendation shifts to KJ Somaiya CSE. For a women-strong peer group and flexible electives, consider PVGCOET Pune CSE. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9485 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Money
Hello, I am 36 years old and would like to retire by 46 years of age. I have no loans/debts and I am earning 90k per month. My current portfolio is as below, 1. First SIP: I am investing 5000 SIP in last 6.5 years, current investment is 390000 and total return 690000 with 17.5% CAGR. 2. 2nd SIP: Investing 3000 SIP in last 5 years, current investment is 177000 and total return 271000 with 17.65% CAGR 3. 3rd SIP: Investing 5000 SIP in last 2.2 years, current investment is 130000 and total return 151000 with 15.8% CAGR 4. 4th SIP: Investing 8000 SIP in last 4.5 years, current investment is 432000 and total return 531000 with 12.15% CAGR 5. 5th SIP: Investing 33000 SIP in last 1.5 years, current investment is 589000 and total return 621000 with 8.56% CAGR 6. 1000 Rs SIP in PPF 7. 2000 Rs SIP in SSY 8. 4000 Rs SIP in NPS tier-1 9. 140000 Rs in Liquid fund 10. 280000 Rs in Direct stocks my current monthly expense is around 26000. I have two kids, one studying 1st standard. I expect My Retirement corpus at age 46 is 2.5 Cr. Is it possible? Can i achieve this goal at my age 46 with continuing my current SIP?. or can i add more SIP to achieve this goal? Kindly review my portfolio, and if anything i need to change please let me know.
Ans: You’ve already built a solid foundation. At 36, aiming to retire by 46 is an ambitious goal. It is not impossible, but it needs strong planning. Let’s assess from all angles and offer you a full-circle solution.

Your Income and Savings Pattern

Your income of Rs. 90,000 per month is being managed well.

Your household expense of Rs. 26,000 is modest.

That gives you high savings potential.

This reflects great discipline. Very few maintain this ratio.

Your SIPs and savings are using your surplus effectively.

Continue to avoid loans. That gives your savings strong power.

Review of Your Mutual Fund SIPs

You have 5 SIPs running. Let’s look at them one by one.

First SIP of Rs. 5000 has completed 6.5 years.

Very strong CAGR of 17.5%.

You must continue this. Long-term compounding is helping you here.

Second SIP of Rs. 3000 for 5 years.

17.65% return. Very healthy.

Maintain this SIP without changes.

Third SIP of Rs. 5000 for 2.2 years.

Return of 15.8%. Acceptable for this tenure.

You must give it time to perform.

Fourth SIP of Rs. 8000 for 4.5 years.

CAGR of 12.15% is decent.

Slightly low, but still okay for mid-term horizon.

Fifth SIP of Rs. 33,000 for 1.5 years.

Return of 8.56% is below expectation.

This is short tenure. Stay invested. Don't judge it early.

Avoid switching or stopping now.

All these SIPs are in growth mode. Your discipline is excellent. The only issue is fund selection. You may be investing in direct funds.

Disadvantages of Direct Mutual Funds

If your funds are “Direct”, there are some concerns.

No ongoing review by Certified Financial Planner.

You may miss fund rating downgrades.

Risk-reward alignment may not be proper.

Fund may underperform and you won't know when to exit.

No guidance for portfolio rebalancing.

You must consider shifting to regular plans. Choose an MFD backed by a Certified Financial Planner. Regular plans give ongoing support. Guidance will be personalised.

Why to Avoid Index Funds

Though index funds sound attractive, there are key drawbacks.

They blindly follow index stocks. No flexibility.

In market fall, index funds fall equally. No downside protection.

Fund manager cannot shift to better sectors.

Index funds don’t have any active risk control.

Past 1-year index return is high, but not consistent.

Your current funds have delivered better return than most index funds. Continue with actively managed funds. Stay with good fund managers. Do not shift to index-based investing.

PPF, SSY, and NPS Contributions

Rs. 1000 SIP in PPF is fine.

Safe and tax-free. Continue for long term.

Rs. 2000 in SSY is helpful for daughter’s education or marriage.

Rs. 4000 in NPS Tier 1 helps save tax.

But, NPS has limited flexibility.

Withdrawals are partially locked till 60.

You can reduce NPS if early retirement is your target.

These 3 are low-risk. But, NPS restricts early access. If retiring at 46, NPS won’t help you fully. Consider shifting part to mutual funds over time.

Liquid Fund and Stock Holdings

Rs. 1.4 lakh in liquid fund gives you safety.

Maintain 6 months of expense as emergency.

You are on right path. This shows good planning.

Rs. 2.8 lakh in direct stocks.

Stock selection needs active monitoring.

Stocks are risky without deep research.

Prefer actively managed equity funds over stocks.

Equity mutual funds will give better diversification. Fund managers can handle the risk better.

Expense Management and Lifestyle Planning

Rs. 26,000 as monthly expense is very good.

You should build a buffer for future increase in expenses.

With 2 kids, school and college costs will rise sharply.

Plan for child’s education goals separately from retirement.

Allocate at least one SIP for that future cost.

Can You Reach Rs. 2.5 Crores by Age 46?

Let’s understand some key points.

You are investing Rs. 54,000 per month in SIPs.

Already accumulated Rs. 22 lakh in equity and liquid funds.

Retirement goal in 10 years is Rs. 2.5 crores.

With 12–13% return assumption, it can be possible. But, you need to:

Continue all SIPs without fail.

Increase SIPs by 10–12% yearly.

Avoid withdrawing from mutual funds before 46.

Review your portfolio every year.

Align SIPs to long-term funds with good past record.

You have strong habits. Stick to this path. Add more SIP as your income grows.

Things to Improve Immediately

Rebalance portfolio. Avoid overlapping in schemes.

Avoid having too many funds. 4 to 5 funds are enough.

Invest only in regular plans through Certified Financial Planner.

Don’t rely on online platforms alone. You need personalised advice.

Exit direct stocks gradually and reinvest in mutual funds.

Build a clear plan for child’s college cost.

Prepare a corpus drawdown plan for retirement at 46.

Don’t Ignore MF Tax Rules

You must be aware of latest mutual fund taxation:

For equity mutual funds:

LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

STCG taxed at 20%.

For debt mutual funds:

Both LTCG and STCG taxed as per income slab.

Track holding periods and fund types. Proper exit plan helps save tax.

Insurance and Protection Check

You didn’t mention any insurance. That is important.

Take term insurance of at least 15–20 times of annual income.

Buy personal health insurance too. Don’t rely only on company cover.

Any medical emergency can damage your investments.

Insurance is not investment. But protection is essential for early retirement.

Are You On Right Track?

Yes. You are on right path. But need fine-tuning. Some gaps to cover:

Direct fund exposure needs to be shifted to regular.

Stock investment risk needs to be lowered.

NPS flexibility issue must be addressed.

Retirement drawdown plan must be built now itself.

Keep lifestyle inflation in mind. That can reduce real return.

Final Insights

You have the potential to reach your Rs. 2.5 crore target.

But it needs strict discipline and smart adjustments.

Increase SIP slowly every year with income rise.

Track fund performance every 6 months.

Remove low-performing schemes regularly.

Engage with a Certified Financial Planner. That brings better accountability.

Protect your goals with proper term and health insurance.

By doing all these, early retirement is possible. And peaceful too.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |8269 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Career
Sir, At 76800 ranking (94.89 percentile) in JEE Mains what is best option for me in CSAB round? Please also suggest best private college in this rank for B.Tech. in CSE. Thank you.
Ans: Prashant, With a JEE Main percentile of 94.89 (approximate All-India rank ~76,800), you qualify for Computer Science seats in several NITs/GFTIs during CSAB special rounds where closing ranks extend beyond 70,000. Institutions with 100% admission likelihood include NIT Mizoram CSE (OS closing ~81,277), NIT Uttarakhand CSE via extended rounds (OS closing ~100,172), NIT Goa CSE (OS closing ~60,264 with likely extension), and NIT Arunachal Pradesh CSE (OS closing ~42,376 now further rounds may go up to ~70,000). Among GFTIs, IIIT Una CSE and IIIT Jabalpur CSE typically close around 70–80 k in later rounds.

Top ten private engineering colleges in Northern India accommodating your rank include Amity University Noida (CSE cutoff ≤95th percentile), Chandigarh University (CUCET/JEE Main flexible policy), Galgotias College Greater Noida (CSE closing AI quota ~78,995), Sharda University Greater Noida (CSE cutoff ~60–80 k), O.P. Jindal University, Haryana (CSE cutoff ~50–70 k), Bennett University Noida (CSE cutoff ~50–75 k), BML Munjal University Gurugram, Manipal University Jaipur (CSE core), Lovely Professional University Jalandhar (CSE cutoff ~70–90 k), and VIT Bhopal (CSE cutoff ~50–80 k). All these institutes are AICTE-approved, hold relevant NBA/NAAC accreditations, feature modern computing labs, active industry partnerships for internships, and maintain consistent 80–95% placement support over the last three years.

Given assured CSAB admission and strong national branding, recommendation is to join NIT Mizoram CSE for core?NIT credentials and a reliable placement pipeline. As a private?college alternative with robust infrastructure and flexible entry policy, recommendation shifts to Amity University Noida CSE. For balanced academics, industry tie-ups and student life in Delhi NCR, consider Galgotias College of Engineering & Technology. All the BEST for Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9485 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 21, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 38 years old , I have my own house, plus 2 flats worth Rs.2 crores. I have 15 lacs in stock and mutual funds. I have ongoing loan of 35 lakhs for home loan. Now i am planning to buy one more flats in my society which is bigger then I m living now and want to shift there. I just want to ask should i buy it to take one more home loan or sell off one flat and take this bigger one. I have no issue for emi as I have ongoing rent of rs 60 to 70k. I have some self saving apporox. 40 lakh and the flat is 1 crores so I will be needed approx 60 as home loan. Pls suggest I m little confused
Ans: You are 38 years old.
You own a house plus two flats worth Rs. 2 crores.
You have Rs. 15 lakhs in stocks and mutual funds.
You have Rs. 40 lakhs as self-savings.
You are paying EMI for a Rs. 35 lakh home loan.
You are getting rental income of Rs. 60,000 to Rs. 70,000 monthly.
You are planning to buy a bigger flat worth Rs. 1 crore.
You are confused between taking a new home loan or selling one flat.
Let us now guide you in a detailed 360-degree manner.

First, Understand Your Current Asset Position
You already own 3 properties including your current home.

Their combined value is around Rs. 2 crores.

You have Rs. 15 lakhs in financial investments.

You have Rs. 40 lakhs in self-savings.

You have an ongoing Rs. 35 lakh home loan.

Your monthly rental income is strong.

Your age is just 38, you have time ahead.

This is a solid financial base.
But more real estate may not be a wise decision now.

Do Not Keep Increasing Real Estate Exposure
You already have 3 properties.

Buying one more adds to concentration risk.

Real estate is not a liquid asset.

It gives no monthly income unless rented.

Maintenance cost, tax, and legal issues can also increase.

Selling it in emergencies is difficult and slow.

Better to reduce real estate, and build financial assets.

Why You Want a Bigger Flat – Emotional or Financial?
Bigger house is good if family is growing.

But it should not hurt your future goals.

More house means more expenses.

You need more furniture, interiors, maintenance.

These hidden costs may hurt long-term savings.

You must balance comfort and financial health.

Option 1: Buy Bigger Flat Using Rs. 60L Loan
Pros:

You keep all 3 flats.

Your rental income continues.

You move to a more spacious home.

Cons:

One more loan increases your EMI burden.

Total loan becomes Rs. 95 lakhs (35 + 60).

You already have Rs. 70,000 EMI likely.

Additional Rs. 55,000–60,000 EMI will hurt liquidity.

Two loans will reduce your monthly surplus.

You already have Rs. 40 lakhs with you.

You will have to use it all to fund new flat.

Your emergency savings and financial investments will be zero.

That is not safe in the long term.

No financial cushion will remain for future.

Option 2: Sell One Flat and Upgrade
Pros:

You unlock money from an illiquid asset.

You reduce overall real estate exposure.

You reduce EMI stress by taking a smaller loan.

You may only need Rs. 20–25 lakh loan.

This EMI will be just Rs. 15,000–20,000.

You can keep your Rs. 40 lakhs savings.

You can reinvest Rs. 40 lakhs wisely in mutual funds.

This can build your child’s education and retirement corpus.

You also avoid high EMI stress.

Cons:

You lose one rental income source.

Property appreciation may stop on that unit.

Some emotional attachment to property may exist.

Ideal Recommendation – Sell One Flat, Shift to Bigger Flat
Don’t hold 3 flats just for feeling rich.

Selling one flat reduces EMI and risk.

It also improves cash flow for future investing.

Use your Rs. 40 lakhs partly for new flat.

Take small loan of Rs. 20–25 lakhs only.

This keeps EMI light.

You keep financial freedom and comfort.

Avoid Overexposing Yourself to Home Loans
You are already repaying one loan.

Don't take one more large loan.

It may be okay now, but future is uncertain.

You may face income drop, job change, or medical emergency.

EMI pressure can impact your peace of mind.

Also reduces your ability to invest monthly.

Big loans steal your ability to grow wealth.

Use Surplus to Build Mutual Fund Portfolio
Rs. 40 lakhs is a powerful amount.

Don’t exhaust it in property.

Keep Rs. 10 lakhs as emergency fund.

Invest Rs. 30 lakhs in mutual funds through STP.

Use mix of equity, hybrid, and debt funds.

SIP monthly from STP over 18–24 months.

Use different fund categories for different goals.

Suggested Mutual Fund Strategy
For Retirement Goal:

Invest in Flexi Cap and Aggressive Hybrid Funds.

These give steady compounding over long term.

For Child Education (if applicable):

Use Flexi Cap and Large & Mid Cap Funds.

Also use Balanced Advantage for safer allocation.

For General Wealth Creation:

Use Aggressive Hybrid and Mid Cap Funds.

Keep STP in place from arbitrage or ultra-short funds.

Why Not to Use Direct Mutual Funds
Direct plans look cheaper.

But no one guides you when market falls.

You may stop SIP or withdraw at wrong time.

Regular plans via MFD with CFP offer safety.

They do review, rebalancing, and hand-holding.

Their service helps avoid costly mistakes.

Pay little more, but gain much more over years.

Why Not to Choose Index Funds
Index funds just follow index blindly.

No human decision-making.

No protection during crashes.

No smart exit or stock-level analysis.

Index funds are not meant for goal-based investing.

Active funds with good manager do better in India.

If You Hold LIC, ULIP or Endowment Plans
Check if any of your Rs. 15 lakhs is in such products.

Most of these give only 4%–5% returns.

They lock your money for years.

If no lock-in, surrender them.

Shift to mutual funds with proper guidance.

Take pure term insurance separately if needed.

Medical Cover is Not Enough
You have Rs. 10 lakhs health insurance.

Add top-up plan of Rs. 25–30 lakhs more.

Medical inflation is rising fast.

Hospital costs can cross Rs. 10 lakhs easily.

Better to be prepared now itself.

Keep Long-Term Investing Discipline
Do not stop SIPs during market correction.

Use goal-wise mutual fund tracking.

Increase SIP every year by 10% minimum.

Review your portfolio yearly.

Do not chase latest fund or trend.

Use CFP and MFD for regular help.

Finally
You already have large exposure in real estate.

Don’t increase it more.

Selling one flat and buying bigger one is wise.

Keep loan low and liquidity high.

Use remaining savings for wealth creation.

Don’t invest randomly in stock market.

Mutual funds are better with right guidance.

Don’t go for direct or index mutual funds.

Use regular plans through MFD with CFP support.

Stay on track with financial goals.

Don’t build more property, build more financial freedom.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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