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My Hindu BF's ultimatum: My Christian parents refuse. Help?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

Hi sir/mam, Im a Christian girl, Ive been in a relationship for 4years with a hindu guy. He is a gud person and used to take a very gud care of me but he has anger issues. Once when we were having a dispute he msged my mom for the first time saying all negative about me and our relationship in anger with a video clip of ours. After he sended he inforeked me and asked forgiveness and i forgave him. My parents after seeing those msgs asked me the story and then made me call him. They talked and he said all lies about himself in fear of being filed a case on him by parents. And they didnt lyk this as they knew he was lying. After this i tried to convince my parents a lot by taking stand for him but there was no use as they needed answers from him but he was telling to talk to his parents and my parents didnt agree tht.. they had been doubting on him due to fear tht he may hurt me in future after marriage due to his msg. And in final ive asked him for some time but he says his father has fixed his marriage and has given 2 options, one is to get match fixed by my parents with his parents and second option is to marry the girl his father says. He doesnt want to come forward to talk to my parents to ask for me but he says me to convince my parents by myself to talk to his parents at any cost. But here my parents are not all agreeing to talk unless he shares his and his family's details with them and explains them about surity and safety of me and my family. What should i do in this situation, ive lost hope and not knowing wht to do.. i cant leave my parents and now how much ever i try to convince my parents they wont agree. Please tell me wht to do?

Ans: Let’s be honest. Your boyfriend made a serious mistake when he sent that message to your mother in anger — especially with a personal video clip. Even if he apologized later, that moment damaged more than just your parents’ trust — it showed that under pressure, he could act impulsively and without protecting your dignity. Now, when you need him to be strong, honest, and step forward like a man truly ready to marry you, he's stepping back and asking you to convince your family alone. That isn’t love backed by action — that’s love hoping to escape responsibility.

On the other side, your parents are not being unreasonable. They’re asking for basic accountability — that he take responsibility, that they get to know who he is and what kind of family he comes from. They're not making you choose a religion or forcing you into someone else's marriage — they're asking for respect and clarity, which is valid, especially after what happened. They're also trying to protect you because they saw him react in an unstable way once already.

Now you’re left holding all the emotional weight, trying to build a bridge between two sides that aren’t willing to meet halfway.

Here’s the truth: you cannot hold a relationship alone. If he wants you, truly wants to marry you, he should show the maturity and courage to meet your parents, take ownership of his mistake, and explain his family's intentions. If he's too afraid or unwilling to do even that, then you have your answer.

You don't need to make a decision right now. But do ask yourself: Is this the kind of support and courage you want in a life partner? Not just someone who says they love you, but someone who will stand for you when things get hard. So far, it seems like you’ve done all the standing.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 24, 2024Hindi
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Hello, I fell in love with a boy 6 years younger than me. Besides knowing that family and society will not accept this relationship I fell in love with him and we spend a beautiful nice happy moments with each other. My parents when get to know they forced me to stop my job snatched my phone stopped me to use any social media so that I cannot contact him. And I was not allowed to leave house alone. It's been 9 years now I still don't have my own mobile phone or are not allowed to leave house alone. In these years twice or thrice my partner's parents have called my father regarding our marriage proposal but my father refused. I have tried him alot of time that I can't marry anyone else we want to be with each other we love each other he just don't understand. I have even told him if not him I will always stay here without marrying anyone he said okay love here but I will not allow you to marry him. They are not of our standard he is younger than you he can't keep you. They even have told me false things like he has a girlfriend outside we have seen him with girl. He is alcoholic etc. my partner is now out of patience he said I need you with me now and when are you coming your parents are not agreeing it's been 9 years and same situation. So I initiated a healthy calm talk to my father again three days back. I told him I am 32 now and it's my decision I want to marry him. It might be a bad decision like you think but it would be my decision and I will bear the responsibility of that. And it will also help me to move on. I want to give a chance and want you to respect my decisions and he said you decision or wrong. He is not a good guy his mother has insulted me. And I said I am not living with his mother its him I want to spend my life with. He said I can't see your future their but I was firm on my decision and than he said I will think about it. Today my mother told my younger brother that father has said no to my decision. I don't understand i don't trust my mother she has lied to me before many times. And I am feeling stucked here
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, whatever the reason, it is not fair to make your partner wait any longer. 9 years is a long time and from their side, they have tried to approach your family.
Why your family does not want this to happen can have many reasons, but what is it that you want? What makes you stuck? 32 is a great age to start taking decisions of life, you don't think? Move on this else, you will wait another couple of years and then realize that you have wasted enough time.
So, for once, keep your side of the family aside (in thoughts) and then ask yourself: Am I ready to marry my partner?
If YES, you know what to do and if NO, then you are perhaps making your family an excuse and not willing to move into marriage.
Reality check, but a necessary one...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

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hi maam im in love with a guy who i met in hyd im 24 years nd he is 28 we both r in love with eachother and wanna marry eachother but the prblm is that i come from a christian family and he comes from a hindu family my mom is not ready to accept him just because he is a hindu and my family r forcing me to get married to a christian guy itself they r mentally forcing me everyday to leave him just because he is a hindu nd our caste is different my family seperated me from him and forcing me to get married to a guy of their choice and in my family there r 16 members who have had love marriages i took help of my relative who also had a love marriage to convince my parents and help us to get married but she is the one who add more fake rumors and more fuel about him that he is doing timepass even if they talk to him in calls they say that he is not lifting our calls at all i have all the recordings but still they r lying to me nd my mom saying that he is not ready to talk about her it became difficult for me to convince them my mom listen to my relatives as they say and so they do i dont have anyone to support me to get married to my bf plz help i wanna marry him only and i see future with him he is the only one who make me laugh play with me like how a dad plays with his daughter i havent got the love from my parents when im getting the love from him they seperated me from him and forcefully bought me to my native place nd not letting me meet or see him im depressed asking my parents to meet him but they r like no we dont like him my parents r not ready to understand and they r saying he is with u only for ur money he also told my relatives that i dont want money but still they r keeping on adding fuel and mentally harrasing me to get married to someone else they r forcefully trying to get me married to someone else i wanna marry him only what should i do plz help i love him so does he
Ans: Dear Niveditha,
What caught my eye was the fact that you seem to have found the love that parents give their children with this person. This is not healthy as you are searching for what you lack in someone else. Work on this...and if this is the reason that you actually are in love with this person, you really need to work it.
Now when it comes to your parents' acceptance, your partner has to put in efforts to win them over and on your part rather than playing this emotionally with them, make your parents see what you see in your partner in terms of traits, qualities etc...And the less you involve family members into this circus, the better. At times, people come to have their share of fun by making things worse...So, be wise about who you involve.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 17, 2025

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Iam 27 years old .me and my boyfriend were in relationship from the last 5 years.he is my childhood class met.during corona time we reconnected through social media .we are from same place .initially we both were good friends later we decided to start our relationship.i belong to low caste.and he belongs to upper caste.in those 5 years we shared our happiness, sorrows together .he was with me in every situation.he helped me emotionally mentally and financially.every thing went well .we planned out future together.later our parents got to know about our relationship.i convinced my parents.but his parents are not accepting our love because of my low caste..i even took my father and brother along with me to talk with his mother . I even begged his mother by touching her feet to accept our love.she told me that she wants to do his sons marriage with a girl who belong to their caste. His parents are telling him that they will leave the home town and go somewhere else if he marries me.my boyfriend is telling me that his parents especially his mothers health will be effected if he marry me and asking me to move on..I asked me that whether he is ok to marry the girls of their parents choice..he told me that he doesn't have any option other than listing to his parents..I'm totally devasted .I'm suffering with anxiety, depression and continuous thoughts ..i want him.he also loves me but he is not daring to marry mee.he is worrying about his parents..how to deal with this situation..pls help mee
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Honestly, drop him...the reason for this must be obvious to you by now. When he is not willing to take a stand for his love, what makes you think he's ever going to support you later in life?
Also, maybe he does not want to or fears going against his family. How can you change that? Surely your love isn't enough to convince him of being with you in this relationship; then what else can?

It's going to be hard to get away from all those feelings BUT you are better off without someone who is unable to take a stand for you. And when it comes to anxiety, practice deep breathing...it does help...If this is getting unbearable, then do seek professional help from someone who can guide you through this break-up and thereafter healing.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

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Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |234 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Dec 09, 2025

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Dear Naveen Sir, I am 55 Years old and have five more years in superannuation. My monthly take home is approx. 6 Lacs PM . I have accumulated 2 Cr. in MF , 1.5 Cr in PF , 1 Cr FD and NPS and LIC put all together will be approx 50 Lacs and payout will start from 2028 onwards. I have just booked one 4 BHK and take home loan which is construction linked plan . Possession will be in 2029. My Daughter and Son are on Marriage age but both are also earning handsomely as they are in 30% bracket of IT . Have parental property approx 1.5 Cr which i will get in due course of the time. Monthly expenses are approx 1 Lacs only . Please suggest the way forward for next 5 Years .....how and where i start investing ....
Ans: Dear Sir
For a comprehensive QPFP level financial planning and retirement assessment we request the following details. These inputs will allow financial planner to prepare an accurate inflation-adjusted roadmap covering risk protection, income stability, investment strategy and long-term financial security.
________________________________________
1. Personal and Family Details
Your age and planned retirement year.
Spouse’s age, working status and future income expectations.
Number of dependents and their financial reliance on you.
Any major medical conditions in the family.
________________________________________
2. Parents’ Health and Financial Dependence
Current health condition of parents.
Do they have their own medical insurance cover.
Sum insured and type of policy.
Any critical illness or pre-existing conditions.
Monthly financial support you provide to them if any.
Expected future medical or caretaker expenses.
________________________________________
3. Income and Cash Flow
Monthly take home income.
Expected increments or bonuses for the next five years.
Monthly household expense structure.
Existing EMIs and financial commitments.
Monthly surplus available for investments.
Any expenses expected to rise due to inflation or lifestyle changes.
________________________________________
4. Home Loan and Liabilities
Sanctioned home loan amount, interest rate and tenure.
Current disbursement status under construction linked plan.
Your plan for EMI servicing and part-prepayment.
Any other loans or financial liabilities.
________________________________________
5. Real Estate Profile
Is this 4 BHK your first home or do you own other properties.
Any rental income from existing properties.
Purpose of the new 4 BHK after retirement for self, parents or children.
Your plan for the parental house. Retain, sell or rent.
Where you plan to settle post retirement.
________________________________________
6. Investment Portfolio
Current mutual fund corpus and category-wise split.
SIP amounts and investment horizon.
PF, EPF, PPF and other retirement scheme balances.
Fixed deposit amounts, maturity periods and ownership structure for DICGC protection.
NPS allocations Tier 1 and Tier 2.
LIC policies with surrender value and maturity year.
Any bonds, NCDs, PMS, private equity or invoice discounting exposure.
________________________________________
7. Emergency Preparedness
Current emergency fund value.
Loan facility available against MF or FD.
Any credit line for medical or sudden expenses.
________________________________________
8. Insurance Protection (Self and Spouse)
Term insurance coverage and policy details.
Health insurance sum assured and insurer.
Top-up or super top-up cover details.
Critical illness and accident cover status.
Adequacy of insurance after accounting for inflation.
________________________________________
9. Children’s Goals and Planning
Are you contributing financially to your children's planning.
Any corpus set aside for their marriage.
Children’s own investment and insurance setup.
Any future goals involving them.
________________________________________
10. Retirement Vision and Income Planning
Expected retirement lifestyle and monthly cost adjusted for inflation.
Your preferred retirement income structure
SWP from mutual funds
Annuity or pension products
PF interest
NPS annuity
Rental income
Plans to monetise or downsize real estate if needed.
Any travel, medical or lifestyle goals post retirement.
________________________________________
11. Estate and Succession Planning
Will availability and last update date.
Nominations across MF, PF, NPS, FD, LIC, demat and bank accounts.
Any instructions for asset distribution.
________________________________________
Next Step
Only Once you share these details, financial planner can prepare a complete five year roadmap covering asset allocation, inflation-adjusted corpus projections, loan strategy, insurance adequacy, medical preparedness, pension and SWP planning, liquidity management and post-retirement income stability.


Disclaimer / Guidance:
The above analysis is generic in nature and based on limited data shared. For accurate projections — including inflation, tax implications, pension structure, and education cost escalation — it is strongly advised to consult a qualified QPFP/CFP or Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD). They can help prepare a comprehensive retirement and goal-based cash flow plan tailored to your unique situation.
Financial planning is not only about returns; it’s about ensuring peace of mind and aligning your money with life goals. A professional planner can help you design a safe, efficient, and realistic roadmap toward your ideal retirement.

Best regards,
Naveenn Kummar, BE, MBA, QPFP
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered MFD
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai
044-31683550

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10876 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 09, 2025

Money
Im aged 40 years and my husband is aged 48 years. We have one son aged 8 years and daughter aged 12 years. We both are in business. What should be the ideal corpus to meet their education at the age of 18 years for both children? Present business income we can save Rs.50000 pm
Ans: You are thinking early. That itself is a smart step. Many parents postpone planning and later struggle with loans. You are not in that situation. So appreciate your approach.

You asked about ideal corpus for higher education. Education cost is rising fast. So planning early avoids financial pressure later.

You have two kids. Your daughter is 12. Your son is 8. You have around six years for your daughter and around ten years for your son. With this time frame, you need a proper structured plan.

» Understanding Future Education Cost

Education inflation in India is high. It is increasing year after year. Even professional courses are becoming costly. College fees, hostel fees, books, digital tools and transportation also add cost.

You need to consider this inflation. Higher education cost will not remain at today’s value. It will grow.

So if today a standard undergraduate program costs around a few lakhs, in six to ten years the cost may go much higher. That is why estimating corpus should consider this future cost.

You don’t need exact numbers today. You need a target range to plan. A comfortable range gives clarity.

» Typical Cost Structure for Higher Education

Higher education cost depends on:

– Private or government institution
– Course type
– City or abroad option
– Duration

For engineering, medical, management or technology courses, cost goes higher. For government colleges the cost is lower but seats are limited. Private colleges are more accessible but expensive.

So planning based only on government college assumption may create funding gaps. Planning based on private college range gives safer margin.

» Suggested Corpus for Both Children

For your daughter, considering next six years gap and inflation, a target range should be higher. For your son, you have more time. So his corpus can grow better because compounding works more with time.

For a comfortable education corpus that covers most course possibilities, many families plan for a higher number. It gives flexibility to choose better college without stress.

So you can aim for a larger goal for both children like this:

– Daughter: Target a strong education fund for next six years
– Son: Target a similar or slightly higher fund for the next ten years because future costs may be higher

You may not need the whole amount if your child chooses a less expensive route. But having extra cushion gives peace.

» Your Savings Ability

You mentioned you can save Rs.50000 monthly. That is a strong saving capacity. But this saving should not go entirely to a single goal. You will also need future retirement planning, emergency fund and other life goals.

Still, a reasonable portion of this amount can be allocated towards education planning. Some families divide savings based on urgency and time horizon. Since daughter’s goal is near, she may need a more stable allocation.

Your son’s goal is long term. So his part can stay in growth asset for longer.

» Choosing the Right Investment Style

A long term goal like your son’s education needs equity exposure. Equity gives better potential for long term growth. It beats inflation better than fixed deposits.

But for your daughter, pure equity can create risk because goal is nearer. Market fluctuations may affect final corpus. So she needs a balanced asset mix.

So investment approach must be different for both.

» Asset Allocation Strategy

For your daughter with six year horizon:

– Higher allocation to a balanced type category
– Some allocation to equity through diversified categories
– Step down equity allocation in final three years

This structure protects capital in later years.

For your son with ten year horizon:

– Higher equity allocation at start
– Continue systematic investing
– Reduce risk allocation gradually closer to goal period

This helps growth and protection.

» Avoiding Wrong Investment Products

Parents often buy traditional insurance plans or children policies for education. These policies give low returns. They lock money and reduce wealth creation potential.

So avoid purely insurance based products for education goals. Insurance is separate. Investment is separate. This separation creates clarity and better growth.

If you already hold any ULIP or investment insurance product, it may not be efficient. Only if you have such policies then you may review and consider if surrender is needed and reinvest in mutual funds. If you don’t have such policies, no need to worry.

» Role of Actively Managed Mutual Funds

For long term goals, actively managed mutual funds offer better flexibility and expert management. They are designed to outperform inflation. A regular plan through a mutual fund distributor with CFP support helps with guidance. They also track your goal and give advice in volatile phases.

Direct funds look cheaper on expense ratio. But they lack advisory support. Long term investors often make emotional mistakes in direct investing. They stop SIPs or switch wrong schemes. So advisory backed investing avoids costly behaviour mistakes.

Index funds look simple and low cost. But they only follow the market. They don’t protect during corrections. There is no strategy or research. Actively managed funds adjust holdings based on market research and valuation. For life goals like education, smoother growth and strategy are needed.

So regular plan with advisory support helps you avoid unnecessary emotional decisions.

» Importance of Systematic Investing

A fixed monthly SIP gives discipline. It also benefits from market volatility. When markets fall, SIP buys more units. In rise phase, the value grows.

A structured SIP helps both goals. For daughter, SIP should shift towards low volatility funds slowly. For son, SIP can run longer in growth-oriented funds before reducing risk.

Your contribution amount may change based on future business income. But start now with whatever comfortable.

» Protecting the Goal With Insurance

Since you both are running business, income stability may fluctuate. So ensuring life security is important. Term insurance is the right option. It is low cost and high coverage.

This ensures child’s education is protected even if income stops.

Medical insurance also matters. A medical emergency should not break education savings.

» Reviewing the Plan Periodically

A fixed plan is good. But markets and life conditions change. So review once every twelve months.

Points to review:

– Are SIPs running on time?
– Is allocation suitable for goal year?
– Any need to shift from equity to safer category?
– Any tax planning advantage needed?

But avoid checking portfolio every week. Frequent checking creates stress.

» Education Goal Withdrawal Plan

As the daughter’s goal comes close:

– Stop SIP in high risk category
– Start shifting profit to debt type fund over systematic transfers
– Keep final year money in safe option like liquid category

Same formula should be applied for your son when his goal approaches.

This protects against last minute market crash.

» Emotional Side of Planning

Education is an emotional goal. Parents feel pressure to provide the best. But planning removes fear.

Saving consistently gives confidence. Having a plan helps avoid panic decisions. It also brings clarity of future expense.

This planning sets financial discipline for your children as well.

» Taxation Factors

When redeeming funds for education, tax rules will apply. For equity fund withdrawals, long term capital gains above exemption are taxed at 12.5% as per current rules. For short term within one year, tax is higher.

For debt investments, gains are taxed as per your tax slab.

So plan the withdrawal timing to reduce tax.

Tax planning near goal year is very important.

» What You Can Do Next

– Start separate investments for each child
– Use SIP for disciplined investing
– Choose growth-oriented asset for son
– Choose balanced and phased investment approach for daughter
– Review allocation yearly
– Protect the goal with insurance cover

Following these steps helps achieve the target corpus smoothly.

» Finally

You are already thinking in the right direction. You have time for both goals. You also have a good saving frequency. So you can build a strong education fund without stress.

Your children’s future will be secure if you continue with a structured and disciplined plan.

Stay consistent with your savings. Make investment choices carefully. Review and adjust calmly over time.

This journey will help you reach your ideal corpus for both children.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10876 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 09, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, Regarding recent turmoils in global economic situation and trends, Trump's tariffs, relentless FII selling, should I be worried about midcap, large&midcap funds that I have in my mutual fund portfolio? I have been investing from last 4 years and want to invest for next 10 years only. And then plan to retire and move to SWP. I'm targeting a 10%-11% return eventually. And I don't want to make lower returns than FD's. Is now the time to switch from midcap, laege&midcap to conservative, large, flexi funds? Please suggest.
Ans: You have asked the right question at the right time. Many investors panic only after damage happens. You are thinking ahead. That is a strong habit.

You also have clarity about your goal, time horizon and expected returns. This mindset will help you handle market noise better.

» Current Market Sentiment and Global Events
The global economy is seeing stress. There are trade decisions, tariff announcements, and geopolitical issues. Foreign institutional investors are selling. News flow looks negative.
These events can cause short term volatility. Midcaps and small caps usually react faster during these phases. Even large caps show some stress.
But markets have seen many crises in the past. Elections, governments, conflicts, pandemics, financial crashes and tariff wars are not new events. Markets always recover over time.
Short term movements are unpredictable. Long term wealth creation depends more on patience and asset allocation.

» Your Time Horizon Matters More Than Market Noise
You have been investing for 4 years. You plan to invest for the next 10 years. That means your remaining maturity is long term.
For a 10 year goal, equity is suitable. Midcap and large and midcap funds are designed for long term investors. They are not meant for short periods.
If your time horizon is short, it is valid to worry about downside risk. But with 10 more years ahead, temporary volatility is normal and expected.
Short term fear should not drive long term decisions.

» Should You Switch to Conservative or Large Cap Now?
Switching based on panic or temporary news is not ideal. When you switch now, you lock the current lower value permanently. You also miss the recovery phase.
Large cap and flexi cap funds offer stability. But they also deliver lower growth potential during bull runs compared to midcaps.
Midcaps usually fall deeper when markets drop. But they also recover faster and often outperform in the next cycle.
Switching now may protect emotions but may reduce long term wealth creation.

» Target Return of 10% to 11% is Reasonable
Aiming for 10%-11% return with a 10 year investment horizon is realistic.
Fixed deposits now offer around 6.5% to 7.5%. After tax, the return becomes lower.
Equity funds have potential to generate better returns compared to FD over a long tenure. Midcap allocation contributes to this return potential.
So moving fully to conservative funds may reduce your ability to beat inflation comfortably.

» Impact of FII Selling
FII selling creates pressure on the market. But domestic investors including SIP flows are strong today. India is seeing strong structural growth.
Retail investors, mutual funds and systematic flows act as stabilizers.
FII selling is temporary and cyclical. It is not a permanent trend.

» Economic Slowdowns Create Opportunities
Corrections make valuations reasonable. This can benefit long term SIP investors.
During downturns, your SIP buys more units. During recovery, these units grow.
This mechanism works best in volatile categories like midcaps.
Stopping SIP or switching during dips blocks this benefit.

» Midcap Cycles Are Natural
Midcap funds move in cycles. They have phases of strong growth followed by correction. The correction phase is painful but temporary.
Every cycle contributes to future upside. Staying invested during all phases is important.
Many investors exit during downturns and enter again after markets rise. This behaviour produces lower returns than the mutual fund performance.

» Role of Portfolio Balance
Instead of exiting fully, review your asset allocation. You can hold a mix of:
– Large cap
– Flexi cap
– Midcap
– Large and midcap
This gives stability and growth potential.
Midcap should not be more than a suitable percentage for your age and risk tolerance. Since you are 36, some meaningful midcap exposure is fine.
If midcap exposure is very high, you can reduce slightly and move that portion to flexi cap or large cap funds slowly through a systematic transfer. Do not do a lump sum shift during panic.

» Behavioural Discipline Matters More Than Fund Selection
Market cycles test investor patience. Consistency in SIP and holding through declines builds wealth.
Most investors do not fail due to bad funds. They fail due to fear-based decisions.
Your approach should be systematic, not emotional.

» Do Not Compare with FD Frequently
FD gives predictable return. Equity gives volatile but higher potential return.
Comparing FD returns every time the market falls leads to wrong decisions.
FD is for safety. Equity is for growth. They serve different purposes.
Your retirement plan and SWP plan depends on growth. Only equity can provide that growth.

» Should You Change Strategy Because Retirement is 10 Years Away?
Now is not the time to exit growth segments. You are still in accumulation phase.
When you reach the last 3 years before retirement, then reducing equity exposure step by step is required.
At that stage, a glide path helps preserve gains. That time has not yet come.
So continue building wealth now.

» Market Timings and Shifts Rarely Work
Many investors try to predict markets. Most of them fail.
Switching based on news looks logical. But news and market timing rarely align.
Staying consistent with your asset allocation gives better results than frequent changes.

» Portfolio Review Approach
You can follow these steps:
– Continue SIPs in all categories
– Avoid stopping based on short term fears
– If midcap allocation is above comfort level, shift only small portion gradually
– Review allocation once in a year, not every month
This structured approach prevents emotional decisions.

» Tax Rules Matter When Switching
Switching between equity funds involves tax impact.
Short term capital gains tax is higher.
Long term capital gains above the exemption limit are taxed at 12.5%.
Switching without purpose can create avoidable tax leakage.
This reduces your compounding.

» When to Worry?
You need to reconsider only if:
– Your goal horizon becomes short
– Your risk appetite changes
– Your allocation becomes unbalanced
Not because of headlines or temporary corrections.

» Your Retirement SWP Plan
Once your accumulation phase is completed, you can shift to:
– Conservative hybrid
– Flexi cap
– Balanced allocation
This will support a smoother SWP.
But this transition should happen only closer to the retirement start date. Not now.

» SIP is Designed for Turbulent Years
SIP works best when markets are volatile. The hardest years for emotions are the most powerful for compounding.
Your long term discipline is your strategy.
Do not interrupt it.

» What You Should Do Now
– Stay invested
– Continue SIP
– Avoid panic selling
– Review allocation once a year
– Use a steady plan, not reactions
This will help you reach your target return range.

» Finally
You are on the right path. The current volatility is temporary. Your 10 year horizon gives enough time for recovery and growth.
Switching right now based on fear may reduce your future returns. Staying invested and continuing SIPs is the sensible approach.
Your goal of better return than FD is realistic. Equity can deliver that with patience.
Stay calm and systematic.
Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |6740 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Dec 09, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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