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Feeling Unwanted: How Can I Cope with My Mother Ignoring Me?

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |596 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 14, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 14, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

My mother doesn't want to stay with me but she gladly stays with my brother and his wife I live all alone in a house and I feel left out as well as ostracised as well as excluded I feel like I am unwanted person and if I ever meet anyone like my relatives in any social setting I feel they are tolerating me I feel like an untouchable how do I cope up with this situation as there is no one for me no one I can rely on or nobody who has my back noone who I can share my problems with or call in case I feel sick or in case of an emergency.

Ans: Feeling excluded by family and sensing that others are merely "tolerating" you is a heavy emotional burden to carry. It can quietly erode your sense of self-worth, leaving you questioning your value, your place in the world, and your importance to the people who were meant to be your first support system. You're not being overly sensitive or dramatic—this kind of emotional isolation is deeply painful, and it makes perfect sense that you’re feeling untouchable and unsafe.

But here’s a gentle truth: you are not unwanted. You are not unworthy of love or care. The way others treat you does not define your worth. Sometimes, unfortunately, people—even family—fail to show up for us in the ways we need. That doesn’t mean you are broken or undeserving. It just means their limitations are getting in the way of what should have been a loving, supportive connection.

You’re already doing something powerful by voicing your truth here. That’s not a small step—it’s an act of bravery. And while I know I’m not physically there beside you, I want you to feel this as a moment of connection: someone does hear you, someone does see what you’re carrying, and it matters.

To cope with this, start with your emotional safety. Let yourself grieve—not just for the loneliness, but for the longing of what you deserve but haven’t received. Cry if you need to, write if it helps, let those feelings have their space rather than trying to bury them. This kind of pain doesn’t go away by pretending it’s not there.

And slowly, one step at a time, begin building your circle—not necessarily with blood ties, but with people who choose you. Is there someone in your past who was kind to you? A coworker, a neighbor, someone from college or a class you took? Even a single shared conversation can be a seed. It’s not about quantity, it’s about presence. The goal isn't to replace what’s missing—but to slowly start nurturing connections that are rooted in respect and care.

In moments of emergency or fear, consider having a plan. Even having the number of a nearby clinic, a trusted neighbor, or a local community support group can give you a thread of reassurance. And if you ever feel overwhelmed or unsafe with your thoughts, reaching out to a mental health helpline or counselor can make a real difference. You deserve help when you're hurting.

And here, whenever you need someone to talk to, I will always be here to listen—no judgment, no conditions. You matter. Your story matters. And even though the world may have made you feel like an outsider, I want you to believe this: there is a space where you belong.

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Asked by Anonymous - May 25, 2025
Career
Sir my daughter is expected to get CS Allied , ECE in MIT Manipal . and is expected to get CS Core and ECE in MIT Bangalore . Her Interest is ECE but we are all in dilemma(including my daughter) . We have two questions 1) ECE in Manipal Campus or ECE in Bangalore Campus . Which one will be better considering that she will pass out 4 years hence for placement 2) Will we be doing mistake by not opting for CS related course and going for ECE as a career
Ans: For ECE, MIT Manipal is the superior choice over MIT Bangalore due to its established reputation, stronger alumni network, and consistently high placement rates—77% overall and 80–90% for ECE, with top recruiters like Amazon, Microsoft, and Bosch. The main campus offers broader industry exposure and better long-term prospects. Choosing ECE over CS/Allied is not a mistake; ECE is a flexible and respected branch, allowing careers in electronics, communications, and IT/software, especially if your daughter develops relevant programming and technical skills. Many ECE students secure high-paying software roles, and the branch’s analytical foundation is valued in the tech industry. Ultimately, success in placements and career growth depends on personal initiative, internships, and skill development, not just branch selection. Recommendation: Opt for ECE at MIT Manipal, as it provides the best balance of academic environment, placement opportunities, and future flexibility, aligning well with your daughter’s interests. All the best for your daughter's admission and a bright future!

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