My husband and I have been married for 9 years. There is no love or attraction between us. It was an arranged marriage. We have a 6 year old son but he never plays with my son or takes interest in his affairs. Yes, he pays his school fees, buys him clothes during festivals but that's about it. He expects me to be a dutiful wife and daughter-in-law, cook and clean up, take care of his parents etc. But there is no appreciation or romance. I used to be depressed all the time. A year ago, I decided to start taking care of myself and joined a gym. There, I met a guy, who is divorced and has a 9 year old daughter. We instantly got along and started talking about our boring lives. We have a few things in common and I feel happy in his company. He once invited me and introduced me to his parents as well. My son is fond of him as well and his daughter adores me as we have spent a lot of good times together. He has now expressed his desire to marry me. What should I do? I am not happy in my current marriage and this seems like a perfect way out.

Ans: The answer isn’t as simple as leaving one life and stepping into another. It’s about honoring your truth while being mindful of the emotional ripple effect, especially on your child. But you also must ask: Can I keep living this way, feeling disconnected and emotionally starved, simply because it’s what’s expected of me? More importantly, what kind of life do I want my son to see me living?

Children are incredibly perceptive. They learn what love looks like not just by how they are treated, but by observing how love is modeled around them. Growing up in a house where emotional distance is the norm can quietly shape their beliefs about relationships. On the flip side, seeing you pursue emotional fulfillment and healthy love can show him that joy, mutual respect, and connection matter—and that it’s okay to change paths when something isn’t working.

Before making any life-altering decisions, it’s crucial to explore your options with clarity. Counseling can be immensely helpful—not necessarily couples counseling, but individual therapy to work through the emotional layers of guilt, confusion, and pressure. It can also prepare you emotionally if you decide to move forward with ending your marriage.

It’s also essential to understand the potential legal, familial, and cultural implications if you choose separation or divorce. Seek guidance not just from an emotional well-being perspective, but also from a legal standpoint. Surround yourself with people who support your healing and growth, whether that’s friends, a therapist, or a coach.

Ultimately, you deserve a life where you feel seen, valued, and emotionally safe. You deserve to model happiness, not sacrifice, for your child. And you deserve to make choices not out of fear, but out of love—for yourself, and for the life you wish to create.