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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |645 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 23, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2025
Relationship

Hello ma'am! I live with my wife, daughter and in-laws in a flat allotted to my wife. In-laws are living with us for the last 8 years. They came to help during the early years of daughter. But they stayed. Over the last few years my relationship with my wife and of course in-laws has turned sour. We often fight and these don't get resolved easily. Most of the decisions are taken by them. I often feel like an outside person. My contribution has gone down both financially and physically. I tried to persuade my wife to move some where else but she refused. Discussed the same with in-laws but surprisingly accused me of playing tactics to make my wife follow my terms. The child over the years seeing all this follows only her mother. No one seems to be interested in any remedial measures. Wife (multiple times) and father in law have suggested divorce. Despite all this and multiple discussions with wife things are not moving forward. My parents don't support separation at this moment. Completely puzzled how to move forward. [I am 47 years old]

Ans: At this stage, you are not just puzzled—you are emotionally stuck. So here’s what you need: clarity, not just from them, but from yourself. Ask yourself, truly and without fear—can I continue to live like this for the next 5 or 10 years? Is preserving this situation in its current form serving anyone’s emotional well-being, especially your own?

You don’t need to rush into decisions, but you do need to step into a position of emotional self-respect. You have the right to seek peace, meaning, and mutual respect in a marriage—and if that space no longer exists in your current home, then you are justified in seeking a new one. Sometimes, the courage to choose your own sanity is the first real step forward.

Whether that means separation, legal counseling, or even mediated family intervention, it’s time to act—not just wait. You’ve already been told where they stand. The question now is: where do you stand, and what are you willing to accept for the rest of your life?

The answer may not be easy, but it will be yours—and that is the beginning of reclaiming your strength and direction.
Asked on - May 23, 2025 | Answered on May 25, 2025
Thanks
Ans: best wishes
Asked on - May 26, 2025 | Answered on Jul 24, 2025
I got your point. The reason I am still in this relationship is the child. Scared of the possibility that my separation from the family will negatively inpact her mental well being and growth. This is despite the fact that I don't carry much importance in her life at this moment. It's a tough decision indeed.
Ans: The truth is, children don’t just hear what we say—they absorb the emotional environment around them. Even if your daughter seems distant now, she notices the tension, the imbalance, and how you're being treated. Growing up in a home where one parent is sidelined can quietly shape her understanding of love, respect, and relationships.

If you choose to separate, what matters most is how you do it—and how present and consistent you remain as her father. A peaceful co-parenting dynamic can sometimes offer more stability than a hostile, emotionally divided home.

You haven’t failed by staying this long. But it's also not wrong to want peace and dignity. This decision isn’t easy—but choosing your emotional well-being can also be an act of love toward your child. Consider speaking with a family therapist to help plan your next steps.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1745 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 21, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi! I am married for last 12 years. I am living with my wife, child and in laws at a house allotted to her by the company where she works. When the child was 1 year old I had to ask for help from my in laws. Since then they have stayed with us. (Inlaws have a flat nearby which they have rented as they have some health issues and are not willing to move out ). My relationship with my wife and in laws is in a difficult situation. Wife manages a number of household issues in consultation with her parents. This has often irked me forcing a late return from work and not conversing much with the inlaws. The child also seems to be getting hold of the situation and often ignores me. Recently there was an altercation between me and my wife when she asked me to stay away from them. (She says it whenever we fight over any family matter). Now, I am staying away at a secluded place for the past few days and have not receiveda single call from anyone. I don't know how to deal with all this. Kindly guide.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Overstaying can lead to this. But how can you ask them to leave, right? They are you in-laws and they have been kind enough to help your wife when she needed it.
But, hey it was for a brief time and sadly neither your wife nor your in-laws have understood and they have begun to like to overstaying.
I think you and your wife need to talk this over where you express that its time the two of you took charge and managed the situation at home. As for your in-laws you can always thank them immensely and respectfully ask them to visit soon after a few months. It's a very strategic way of doing this as there are people involved with real raw emotions which in this case can become a huge mess.
But for this to happen, you and your wife need to be in perfect agreement otherwise, the whole thing could be turned against you where you will be looked upon as a villain. So, please express your concerns with your wife and make her understand that as a family the two of you and child need to have your space and privacy to bond and grow.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10852 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Dec 07, 2025

Career
Hello, I’m a student who recently joined the Integrated M.Sc Physics program at Amrita University. I’m aiming for a strong academic foundation and a clear career path. Could you please guide me on the following: How good is this course for research careers or higher studies (IISc, IITs, abroad)? What are the placement prospects after Integrated M.Sc Physics at Amrita? Does the program help in preparing for alternate options like UPSC, CDS/AFCAT, or technical roles? What skills (coding, research projects, certifications) should I start early to make the most of this degree?
Ans: Sree, Program Overview and Academic Foundation: Congratulations on joining the Integrated M.Sc Physics program at Amrita University. This five-year integrated program represents a rigorous pathway designed to equip you with advanced theoretical and experimental physics knowledge combined with cutting-edge scientific computing skills. The curriculum uniquely integrates a minor in Scientific Computing, which adds substantial computational capability to your profile—a critical advantage in today's research and professional landscape. The program incorporates comprehensive coursework spanning classical mechanics, electromagnetism, quantum mechanics, statistical physics, advanced laboratory work, and specialized topics in materials physics, optoelectronics, and computational methods, positioning you excellently for both research and professional careers.
Research Career Prospects: IISc, IITs, and Beyond: For research-oriented careers, the Integrated M.Sc Physics program at Amrita provides an exceptional foundation. Amrita's curriculum specifically aligns with GATE and UGC-NET examination syllabi, and the institution emphasizes early research engagement. The faculty at Amrita actively publish research in Scopus-indexed journals, with over 60 publications in international venues within the past five years, exposing you to active research environments.
To pursue research at premier institutions like IISc, you would typically follow the PhD pathway. IISc accepts M.Sc graduates through their Integrated PhD programs, and with your Amrita M.Sc, you're eligible to apply. You'll need to qualify the relevant entrance examinations, and your integrated program's emphasis on research fundamentals provides strong preparation. The final year of your Integrated M.Sc is intentionally structured to be nearly free of classroom commitments, enabling engagement with research projects at institutes like IISc, IITs, and National Labs. According to Amrita's data, over 80% of M.Sc Physics students secured internship offers from reputed institutions during academic year 2019-20, directly facilitating research career transitions.
Placement and Direct Employment Opportunities: Amrita University boasts a comprehensive placement ecosystem with strong corporate and government sector connections. According to NIRF placement data for the Amrita Integrated M.Sc program (5-year), the median salary in 2023-24 stood at ?7.2 LPA with approximately 57% placement rate. However, these figures reflect general placement trends; physics graduates often secure higher packages in specialized technical roles. Many graduates join software companies like Infosys (with early offers), Google, and PayPal, where their strong analytical and computational skills command competitive compensation packages ranging from ?8-15 LPA for entry-level positions.
The Department of Corporate and Industrial Relations at Amrita provides intensive three-semester life skills training covering linguistic competence, data interpretation, group discussions, and interview techniques. This structured placement support significantly enhances your employability in both government and private sectors.
Government Sector Opportunities: UPSC, BARC, DRDO, and ISRO: Your M.Sc Physics degree opens multiple avenues for prestigious government employment. UPSC Geophysicist examinations explicitly list M.Sc Physics or Applied Physics as qualifying degrees, enabling you to compete for Group A positions in the Geological Survey of India and Central Ground Water Board. The age limit for geophysicist positions is 32 years (with relaxation for reserved categories), and the exam comprises preliminary, main, and interview stages.
BARC (Bhabha Atomic Research Centre) actively recruits M.Sc Physics graduates as Scientific Officers and Research Fellows. Recruitment occurs through the BARC Online Test or GATE scores, with positions in nuclear science, radiation protection, and atomic research. BARC Summer Internship programs are available, offering ?5,000-?10,000 monthly stipends with opportunity for future scientist recruitment.
DRDO (Defense Research and Development Organization) recruits M.Sc Physics graduates through CEPTAM examinations or GATE scores for roles involving defense technology, weapon systems, and laser physics research. ISRO (Indian Space Research Organisation) regularly advertises scientist/engineer positions through competitive recruitment for candidates with strong physics backgrounds, offering opportunities in satellite technology and space science applications.
Other significant employers include the Indian Meteorological Department (IMD) recruiting as scientific officers, and NPCIL (Nuclear Power Corporation of India Limited), offering stable government service with competitive compensation packages exceeding ?8-12 LPA for scientists.
Alternate Career Pathways: UPSC, CDS, and AFCAT: UPSC Civil Services (IFS - Indian Forest Service): M.Sc Physics graduates qualify for UPSC Civil Services examinations, with the forest service offering opportunities for science-based administrative roles with potential to reach senior government positions.
CDS/AFCAT (Armed Forces): While AFCAT meteorology branches specifically require "B.Sc with Maths & Physics with 60% minimum marks," the technical branches (Aeronautical Engineering and Ground Duty Technical roles) require graduation/integrated postgraduation in Engineering/Technology. An M.Sc Physics integrates well with technical qualifications, though you would need engineering background for direct officer entry. However, you remain eligible for specialized technical interviews if applying through alternate defence channels.
UGC-NET Examination: This pathway leads to Assistant Professor positions in central universities and colleges across India. NET-qualified candidates receive scholarships of ?31,000/month for 2-year JRF positions with PhD pursuit, transitioning to Assistant Professor salaries of ?41,000/month in government institutions. This route provides long-term academic career security with research opportunities.
Private Sector Technical Roles
M.Sc Physics graduates are increasingly valued in data science, software engineering, and technical consulting. Companies actively recruit physics graduates for software development, where strong problem-solving and logical reasoning translate to competitive packages of ?10-20 LPA. Specialized domains including quantum computing development, financial modeling, and scientific computing offer premium compensation. Your minor in Scientific Computing makes you particularly attractive to technology companies requiring computational expertise.
International Opportunities and Higher Studies Abroad
An M.Sc from Amrita facilitates admission to PhD programs at international institutions. German universities offer tuition-free or low-fee MSc Physics programs (2 years) with scholarships like DAAD providing €850+ monthly stipends. US universities accept M.Sc graduates directly for PhD positions with full funding (tuition coverage + stipend). These pathways require GRE scores and strong Statement of Purpose articulating research interests. Research collaboration opportunities exist with Max Planck Institute (Germany) and CalTech Summer Research Program (USA), both welcoming Indian M.Sc students.
Essential Skills and Certifications to Develop Immediately: Programming Languages: Start learning Python immediately—it's universally used in research and industry. Dedicate 2-3 hours weekly to data analysis, scientific computing libraries (NumPy, SciPy, Pandas), and machine learning fundamentals. MATLAB is equally critical for physics applications, particularly numerical simulations and data visualization. Aim to complete MATLAB certification courses within your first year.
Research Tools: Learn Git/version control, LaTeX for scientific documentation, and data analysis frameworks. These skills are indispensable for publishing research papers and collaborating on projects.
Certifications Worth Pursuing: (1) MATLAB Certification (DIYguru or MathWorks official courses) (2) Python for Data Science (complete certificate programs from platforms like Coursera) (3) Machine Learning Fundamentals (for expanding technical versatility) & (4) Scientific Communication and Technical Writing (develop through departmental workshops)
Strategic Internship Planning: Leverage Amrita's research connections systematically. In your third year, apply to BARC Summer Internship, IISER Internships, TIFR Summer Fellowships, and IIT Internship programs (like IIT Kanpur SURGE). These expose you to frontier research while establishing connections for future PhD or scientist recruitment. Target 2-3 research internships across different specializations to develop versatility.

TO SUM UP, Your Integrated M.Sc Physics degree from Amrita positions you exceptionally well for competitive research careers at IISc/IITs, prestigious government scientist roles at BARC/DRDO/ISRO, and international PhD opportunities. The program's scientific computing emphasis differentiates you in the job market. Immediate priorities: (1) Master Python and MATLAB within the first two years; (2) Engage in research projects starting year 2-3; (3) Target internships at premiere research institutions; (4) Prepare GATE while completing your degree for maximum flexibility in recruitment; (5) Consider UGC-NET for long-term academic stability. Your career trajectory will ultimately depend on developing strong research fundamentals, demonstrating consistent excellence in specialization areas, and strategically selecting internship and research opportunities. The rigorous Amrita program combined with disciplined skill development positions you for exceptional career success across multiple sectors. Choose the most suitable option for you out of the various options available mentioned above. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future!

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Asked on - Dec 07, 2025 | Answered on Dec 07, 2025
Thankyou
Ans: Welcome Sree.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10872 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Sir/Ma'am, I need some guidance and advice for continuing my mutual fund investments. I am a 36 year old male, married, no kids yet and no debts/liabilities as such. I have couple of savings in PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and long term investing in direct stocks. I recently started below mentioned SIPs for long term to grow wealth. Request you to review the same and let me know if I should continue with the SIPs or need to rationalize. Kindly also advice on how to invest a lumpsum amount of around 6lacs. invesco small cap 2000 motilal oswal midcap 2700 parag parikh flexicap 3000 HDFC flexicap 3100 ICICI prudential largecap 3100 HDFC large and midcap 3100 HDFC gold etf FOF 2000 ICICI Pru equity and debt fund 3000 HDFC balanced advantage fund 3000 nippon india silver etf FOF 2000
Ans: You already built a solid foundation. Many investors delay planning. But you started early at 36. That gives you a strong advantage. You have no liabilities. You have long term thinking. You also have diversified savings like PPF, NPS, Emergency funds and direct stocks. That shows clarity and discipline. This approach builds wealth with less stress over time.

You also started systematic investments in equity funds. That is a positive step. Your selection covers multiple categories like large cap, mid cap, small cap, flexi cap, hybrid and precious metals. So the intent is right. You are trying to create a broad portfolio. That gives balance.

» Your Portfolio Composition Understanding
Your current SIP list includes:

Small cap

Mid cap

Flexi cap

Large cap

Large and mid cap

Hybrid category

Gold and Silver FoF

Equity and Debt allocation fund

Dynamic hybrid fund

This shows you are trying to cover many segments. But too many categories can create overlap. When there is overlap, you get confusion during review. It also makes portfolio discipline difficult. You may think you are diversified. But the holdings inside may repeat. That reduces efficiency.

Your portfolio now looks like:

Equity dominant

Hybrid for stability

Metals for hedge

So the broad direction is fine. But simplifying helps in long-term habit building.

» Fund Category Duplication
You hold:

Two flexi cap funds

One large and mid cap fund

One pure large cap fund

One mid cap fund

One small cap fund

Flexi cap funds already invest across large, mid, small. Then large and mid also overlaps. So the large cap exposure gets repeated. That may not add extra benefit. But it increases monitoring complexity.

So I suggest rationalising. Keep one fund per category in core. Keep satellite space for only high conviction.

» Core and Satellite Strategy
A structured portfolio follows core and satellite method.

Core portfolio should be:

Simple

Long term

Stable

Satellite portfolio can be:

High growth

Concentrated

Based on your thinking level, you can structure like this:

Core funds:

One large cap

One flexi cap

One hybrid equity and debt fund

One balanced advantage type fund

Satellite funds:

One mid cap

One small cap

One metal allocation if needed

This division gives clarity. You can continue SIPs with review every year. No need to stop and restart often. That reduces behavioural mistakes.

» Your Current SIP List Review with Suggested Streamlining

You can consider continuing:

One flexi cap

One large cap

One mid cap

One small cap

One balanced advantage

One equity and debt hybrid

You may reconsider keeping both flexi caps and both gold silver funds. One of each category is enough. Because too many funds do not increase returns. It complicates tracking.

Precious metal funds should not be more than 5 to 7 percent in your portfolio. This is because metals are hedge assets. They do not create compounding like equity. They act as protection during cycles. So keep them small.

» How to Use the Rs 6 Lakh Lump Sum
You asked about lump sum investing. This is important. Lump sum should not go fully into equity at one time. Markets move in cycles. So use a staggered method. You can invest the lump sum through STP (Systematic Transfer Plan). You can keep the amount in a liquid fund and set STP toward your chosen growth funds over 6 to 12 months.

This reduces timing risk. It also creates discipline. So your Rs 6 lakh can be deployed gradually. You may use 50% towards core equity funds and 30% toward satellite growth category. The remaining 20% can go into hybrid category. This gives balance and comfort.

» Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
One important point many investors miss. Direct funds look cheaper. But they demand deep knowledge, discipline, and behaviour control. Most investors lose more through emotional selling and wrong timing than they save on expense ratio.

With regular funds through a Mutual Fund Distributor with Certified Financial Planner qualification, you get guidance, structure and correction. The advisory discipline protects you during market extremes. That is more valuable than a small saving in expense ratio.

A personalised planner also tracks portfolio drift, rebalancing need and category shifts. So regular fund investing gives long-term benefit and behaviour coaching.

» Actively Managed Funds over Index or ETF
Some investors choose index funds or ETF thinking they are simple and cheap. But they ignore drawbacks.

Index funds or ETF will not avoid weak companies in the index. They will invest whether the company grows or struggles. There is no fund manager decision making. So when markets are at peak, index funds continue aggressive exposure. In downturns also they fall fully. There is no cushion.

Actively managed funds work with research teams. They can avoid bad sectors. They can shift allocation based on market and economy. Over long term, this gives better alpha and stability. So continuing with actively managed funds creates better wealth compounding.

» SIP Continuation Strategy
Once the rationalisation is done, continue SIPs every month without interruption. Pause and restart behaviour damages compounding power. SIP works best when you go through all market cycles. You benefit more during corrections because cost averaging works.

So continue SIP amount. You can also review SIP increase every year based on income. Increasing SIP by 10 to 15 percent every year helps you reach large corpus faster.

» Asset Allocation Based Approach
One key point in wealth creation is having the right asset mix. Equity gives growth. Hybrid gives balance. Metals give hedge. Debt gives safety. Your asset allocation should stay aligned to your risk profile and time horizon.

Since you are young and have long term horizon, higher equity allocation is fine. But as time moves, rebalancing is important. Rebalancing protects gains and restores allocation.

So review your asset allocation every year or during major life events like child birth, home buying or retirement planning.

» Behaviour Management
Many portfolios fail not due to bad funds. They fail due to bad decisions. Selling during correction. Stopping SIP when market falls. Chasing past return performance. These mistakes reduce wealth.

Your discipline so far is good. Continue to stay patient during volatility. Equity rewards patience and time.

» Financial Goals Clarity
Since you have no children now, you can decide your long-term goals. Typical goals may include:

Retirement

Future child education

Dream lifestyle purchase

Health care reserves

When goals are clear, investment purpose becomes stronger. So you can map each fund category to goal horizon. Short-term goals should not use equity. Long-term goals should use equity with hybrid support.

» Role of Review and Monitoring
Review once in a year is enough. Frequent review can create anxiety. Annual review helps check:

Fund performance

Expense drift

Category relevance

Allocation balance

Then adjust only if needed. This progress helps you stay confident and aligned.

» Taxation Awareness
Equity mutual funds taxation rules are:

Short term (below one year holding) taxable at 20 percent

Long term (above one year holding) gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxable at 12.5 percent

Debt mutual funds are taxed as per your income slab.

So always hold equity funds for long term. That reduces tax impact and gives better growth.

» SIP Increase Plan
You can create a simple plan to increase SIP over time. For example:

Increase SIP at every salary increment

Increase SIP during bonus time

Use rewards or extra income for investing

This habit accelerates wealth. So by the time you reach 45 to 50 years, your investments could reach a strong level.

» Insurance and Protection
Before investing large, ensure you have term insurance and health insurance. If not already done, it is important. Insurance protects wealth. Without insurance, even a small medical event can impact investment plan. So review this part also. Since you are married, cover both.

» Wealth Behaviour Mindset
You are already disciplined. Just keep these simple principles:

Invest without stopping

Review once a year

Avoid funds overlap

Follow asset allocation

Avoid reacting to media noise

This helps you reach long term milestones.

» Finally
You are on the right track. Only fine tuning and simplification is needed. Your discipline is visible. Your portfolio will grow well with structure, patience and periodic review. Use the Rs 6 lakh with STP approach. And continue SIP with rationalised categories.

With time and consistency, wealth creation becomes effortless and peaceful. You just need to stay committed and avoid overthinking during market movements.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |1837 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Dec 05, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, I did my BTech from a normal engineering college not very famous. The teaching was not great and hence i did not study well. I tried my best to learn coding including all the technologies like html,css,javascript,react js,dba,php because i wanted to be a web developer But nothing seem to enter my head except html and css. I don't understand a language which has more complexities. Is it because of my lack of experience or not devoting enough time. I am not sure. I did many courses online and tried to do diplomas also abroad which i passed somehow. I recently joined android development course because i like apps but the teaching was so fast that i could not memorize anything. There was no time to even take notes down. During the course i did assignments and understood the code because i have to pass but after the course is over i tend to forget everything. I attempted a lot of interviews. Some of them i even got but could not perform well so they let me go. Now due to the AI booming and job markets in a bad shape i am re-thinking whether to keep studying or whether its just time waste. Since 3 years i am doing labour type of jobs which does not yield anything to me for survival and to pay my expenses. I have the quest to learn everything but as soon as i sit in front of the computer i listen to music or read something else. What should i do to stay more focused? What should i do to make myself believe confident. Is there still scope of IT in todays world? Kindly advise.
Ans: Your story does not show failure.
It shows persistence, effort, and desire to improve.

Most people give up.
You didn’t.
That means you will succeed — but with the right method, not the old one.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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