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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |81 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2025Hindi
Relationship

I am currently facing issues in my marriage. My husband is extremely hurt and angry with me and wants separation because of a blunder committed by me. I am extremely remorseful of my actions and want reconciliation with my husband and daughter. How can I convince my husband to give me another chance. I really want to redeem myself and prove myself to him

Ans: Hello mam. Well, we always have choices in our life, it may be with our married life also. We have to make intelligent choices so that we do remain happy and content in our life. May be your husband also had such options available but he chose loyalty. Now, the next step is to apologise to your husband about this and convince him that your daughter needs both parents for development. If your daughter is devoid of any one of parent, she will be depressed and her personality will get distorted. It may take time, but let your husband cool down a little then may be he ll understand the situation.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on:
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |663 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 29, 2024

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Relationship
Hi I am 44 years old and divorced twice. I have married second time due to family pressure and emotionally, but the same has not been succeed because I was in love with my first spouse and our daughter. I have completed all legal formalities for the same and there is not any legal binding with anyone. I have one daughter who is 15 years old with my first spouse. After long time I realised that I am in love with my first spouse and my daughter. I never seen to my first spouse after divorce since 2009. But I used to go and meet my Daughter on her Birthday to wish with the permission of inlaws. They respect my Father and Sister. I got divorced from my first spouse due to my mistakes which have done unknowingly in 2008. I have written letter to my first spouse and my daughter to ask for sincere apology.Also they knows about my second marriage and divorce also. I am staying alone and my question is whether we will succeed if my first spouse will agree to reunite again with my daughter. Also need some tips to stay happily with them. I have never seen to my spouse after divorce but only mate to my daughter but still I love her. Also give Tips for how can I convince to my first spouse for reunite. My desire will fulfill if we reunite again. Need your advice . Thanks
Ans: Hello Mahendra,
I can sense the depth of your emotions and the genuine desire to reconnect with your first spouse and daughter. It's clear that you’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on your past and understanding where things went wrong. This self-awareness is a crucial first step towards any meaningful reconciliation.

Rebuilding a relationship after many years is a delicate process. It involves not only rekindling the love and connection you once shared but also addressing and healing the past wounds. Given that you haven't seen your first spouse since the divorce, it’s essential to approach this situation with patience, empathy, and a deep respect for her feelings and boundaries.

Start by opening a line of communication. A heartfelt letter or message can be a good way to express your thoughts and feelings without overwhelming her. Share your reflections on the past, your realizations about your mistakes, and how you’ve grown as a person. Let her know how much you value the possibility of reconnecting, not just for yourself but for your daughter’s sake as well.

When you write or speak to her, be prepared to listen as much as you talk. She may have her own perspectives and feelings about the past that need to be heard. Respect her space and her process; reconciliation is a journey that you both must navigate together, at a pace comfortable for both of you.

In your interactions with your daughter, continue to show her your love and commitment. Build on the moments you’ve shared and let her see the positive changes in you. Your consistent presence and genuine efforts will speak volumes.

If your spouse is open to it, consider suggesting professional support, like family counseling, to help navigate this complex process. It can provide a safe space to address old wounds and rebuild trust.

Remember, the path to reconciliation is rarely straightforward. It will require patience, understanding, and a willingness to work through the challenges together. By showing your commitment to change and your deep love for your family, you create the foundation for a potentially beautiful new chapter in your lives.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 23, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 48 year old mature,responsible and independent working lady. Married to the person whom i loved. 7 years of relationship before marriage and now 20 years of married relationship. My husband is very egoistic and irresponsible about our relationship but at the same time very helpful towards others. He lacks emotional intelligence between us. He lacks to understand my feeling which was never his priority. Due to this attitude after 6 years of marriage i got involved with one of my office colleagues wherein i use to consider him as a big supporter who is beside me whenever i feel depressed or want to express. Since my husband did had such understanding of spending quality time with me. However i was caught by my husband after few month since he had recorded few of my conversation. That chapter got closed as i sincerely apologize by husband and made him understand why was i in to that situation, which he also realized and accepted his mistake. We started a fresh journey as husband and wife. After 13 years post 2009, my husband was cheating on me which i discovered with the help of one agency. He was going around with one married lady. Luckily i cud figure this out in time with proofs and informed that ladies husband also. Post this revelation my husband has changed. He was not feeling guilty at all of what he did as he had lot of plans of leaving me and my 2 kids. He wanted to get separate and stay with his parents only, he was not interested in our family anymore and did not wanted to take any responsibility of our 2 kids, he started playing victim card that when my wife had an affair i did not revealed to anyone,then why is that she has revealed. Its now more than 6 months he is still not back on track, neither he feels guilty nor talk with me. Manipulate the conversation and his action every time. Not able to understand his behavior and this behavior is affecting my daily life. He doesn't update where.does he go, what is he doing. He is jobless since last 7 years. Hence i am only the earning member staying with i laws and kids. Day by day my patience are getting over. Please advise should i get separated from him and stay.with my kids only. Pls suggest
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, it's classic behavior when there is no emotional bond within a marriage; seeking that outside of marriage...Now, with both of you having stepped out of it, it's going to take not just your efforts to put things together BUT a discussion on whether you two want this marriage to work. If YES, then work at it...
You will need to together work at dropping past baggage and starting on a clean slate.
But if NO, that's a decision that also needs a lot of deliberation. Are you willing to get out of the marriage as over time we get habituated with a person even with all they are and they are not. Think of how your life will pan out with your husband in it and not in it? Weigh this carefully and then decide what must be done next. This becomes important as there are children involved and it impacts them in a big way as well.
Take some time, confide in a trusted person and go into the depths of the pros and cons which will enable you take a step and move ahead...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 23, 2024

Relationship
Thanks for your Answer, Anu Ma'am. I have tried everything that you have Suggested in your Reply. I have been putting a lot of Efforts from my side to gain his Love & Trust. But he seems to be completely unmoved. I'm feeling exhausted but I can't afford to End this Marriage & lose out on the Social Status & Financial Security which he provides me with. My Parents would also be ashamed of me & in our Community, it's quite difficult for a Divorced Woman to get Re-Married & in my case, it would be near impossible if the word spreads around that my Husband has Divorced me because I wasn't Virgin. Please give me any other alternative suggestions. Shall I try threatening my Husband that I would commit Suicide or File a False 498A Case against him & his entire Family, in order to make him Love me again? Or shall I find another Partner who can satisfy my Sexual & Emotional Needs, Secretly, while continuing along with this Marriage?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
While putting back the marriage, threats and lies never work. Do you think in fear he's going to love you? When he realizes that you have lied again about something, things are going to get worse. So, this time around, go the sane way and something that your husband understands.
Gaining his love and trust is going to be a slow process and not something that will happen overnight. For you this entire thing maybe silly, but his beliefs around 'virginity' are set in stone.
Now, for him to come around, you really need to work at it and WAIT...If this marriage is important to you, then go about it slowly without pressuring yourself into immediate results...He wants facts and truths; give it to him. He may not accept it, but eventually at least you can in a conversation at least tell him that truth is what will bring the marriage to a workable space and that you are willing to put in that work...ask him for his support in it!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2025Hindi
Relationship
, I have been married for almost 14 years and have a 10 year old. A few months ago my husband found some intimate chats of mine with someone else. I am extremely remorseful of my actions. Honestly those chats happened because my husband never showed me any love or concern. However I know that's not excuse to have those chats. After seeing those chats he got extremely angry and threw me out of the house. It's been more than 3 months. He is not willing to forgive me. He wants separation and he has told our daughter also that we are separated. I am so heartbroken that because of my blunder I lost my husband and daughter. Is there any way I can get back with my husband
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There are always going to be reasons to do something or not do something and there is no point mulling over it.
For your husband, his trust has been broken!
Now, is it hard to bring back that trust? Yes, especially with the way your husband has reacted on it. He does seem sensitive about the whole thing and understand that it has possibly hit the pride of a man who is meant to keep his family happy and safe. Suddenly, the world that he had protected is encroached upon by another man. Your husband is bound to feel 'less', 'inadequate' and 'worthless'. That is why he has opted to separate as he finds it difficult to reconcile or even think of why he could not take care of his family.
Now, rather than beating yourself up for it, gather the courage to talk to your husband requesting him for a one on one chat with you. If you want this marriage to work, even your husband needs to work with you...no point acting on it the way he has and not take the responsibility of connecting with you emotionally that could possibly have been one of the reasons that you sought comfort elsewhere. An expert intervention will help provided your husband is also willing.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11156 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 26, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 26, 2026Hindi
Money
I am 41, earning 1.6L/month, dependent family with a kid of 9 years. Home loan of 43L, emi 50k + 10 k part payment every month. SIP : 33k/month accumulated to 12 L Shares : 25 L ESOP : 10 L MF : 15 L Expense : 50 k EPF 12k/month Corporate health insurance. No term insurance, as company sponsoring 50L term insurance. Kindly guide me any improvements in the current strategy and an approach for passive income which would turn into active after the corporate career .
Ans: You have built a strong base already. Your income, savings habit, and discipline in loan repayment are very good. With some fine-tuning, you can move from “stable” to “financially independent with choice”.

» Current Financial Position – Healthy but Slightly Unbalanced

Income vs expense gap is strong. You save well.
Good mix of assets: MF + shares + ESOP + EPF
Home loan is under control with part prepayment – this is a big positive
However, risk protection and asset allocation need correction

» Risk Protection – Immediate Gap

You are depending only on company term insurance (Rs 50L)
This is risky because it stops if you change job or lose job

You should:

Take a personal term insurance of at least Rs 1.5 to 2 Cr
Keep corporate cover as backup, not primary

Health insurance:

Corporate cover is good, but add a personal family floater policy
Reason: continuity after retirement or job change

» Emergency Fund – Must Improve

You have not mentioned a clear emergency fund
Your EMI + expense is ~Rs 1 lakh/month

You should:

Maintain at least 6 months = Rs 6 lakh in liquid form
Keep in savings + liquid mutual fund

» Asset Allocation – Needs Rebalancing
Your current structure:

Shares (Rs 25L) + ESOP (Rs 10L) = high company/market risk
MF (Rs 15L) + SIP (Rs 33k/month) = good
EPF = stable

Concern:

Too much concentration in equity and ESOP
ESOP risk is double – job + investment in same company

You should:

Gradually reduce ESOP exposure over time
Move that into diversified mutual funds
Keep equity but reduce concentration risk

» Loan Strategy – Good but Balance Needed

EMI Rs 50k + Rs 10k prepayment is disciplined

But:

Do not over-prioritise loan closure at the cost of investments

Balanced approach:

Continue EMI
Reduce part payment slightly if it affects investments
Equity over long term can give better growth than loan interest saved

» Investment Strategy – Strengthen for Goals
You are investing well, but need structure:

Separate investments by goals:
Child education (9 years left)
Retirement (15–20 years)
Continue SIP but:
Increase SIP by 5–10% every year
Focus on diversified, actively managed funds
Avoid over-exposure to direct stocks unless you track regularly

» Passive Income to Active Income Transition
This is where you need clarity now (very important stage)

Phase 1 – Build Passive Income

Grow MF corpus steadily
Add some debt allocation closer to retirement
Aim for income-generating corpus

Phase 2 – Convert to Semi-Active
Choose one path based on your interest:

Financial knowledge → advisory / consulting
Skill-based → teaching / coaching / freelance
Business → small scalable service

Key idea:

Start part-time before leaving job
Build income slowly for 3–5 years

» Retirement Direction – Early Planning Advantage

You are 41, so you have time
Your discipline is your biggest strength

You should:

Define retirement age clearly (say 55 or 60)
Build a corpus that can replace at least 70–80% of income
Gradually reduce risk 5–7 years before retirement

» Tax Efficiency Awareness

Continue using EPF as safe component
For mutual funds:
Hold long term to benefit from lower tax (above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%)
Avoid frequent churning

» Finally

Protect first (term + health insurance)
Build emergency fund
Reduce ESOP concentration risk
Keep investing consistently and increase yearly
Start building second income stream now, not later

If you follow this path, your shift from salary income to independent income will be smooth and stress-free.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

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