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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |70 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 24, 2025Hindi
Relationship

My husband ignores me unless he needs something. Like he will not say Good morning or ask how my day was. But he will ask me where his wallet is, whether dinner is ready. Beyond that, I barely exist in his world. We live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, but we don't have a real conversation in weeks. He scrolls through his phone all evening, and shows no interest in how I feel or what I do all day. Even when we go out shopping, he will not share any feedback. I feel invisible in my own marriage. I have seen my parents behaving like this. Is this how marriage becomes over time?

Ans: Hello mam. Well, mam as time goes by in marriage both partners take each other for granted. That communication slowly fades away and only few things are left. May be your husband must ve feeling the same and is longing for your attention coz when kids are around then us time of couple vanishes. But this communication and spark can be returned by the efforts of both partners. You should take initiative. Plan some dinner out, just both of you. Spend some quality time together. Things will be good in a few weeks.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1705 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 27, 2022

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 I have been married for 9 years now with 3 kids. But my husband negates everything I say to him thinking I want to hurt him. When he says something and I try to see it the other way, he sees it as confrontational and also flares up during the conversation. He does not allow me to talk saying he already knows what is in mind. He complaints about everything in the house. In terms of sex, he does not want to know if I am tired or sick.Even though we usually make love at least two times in a week, he talks as if he is denied of his rights. He says any time he wants, he must have it. The main issue now is I’ve noticed he has locked his phone. I know he has a date with someone because he told me he has a concert to attend and won't be coming home that night. When I asked if I could go with him, he said No. Now that I have also locked my phone, he's accusing me of infidelity.
Ans:

Dear RT,

He’s playing the cool guy who wants it all and when doesn’t get it wants to act all hurt and instead of taking responsibility of his emotions finds it convenient to blame you and make you feel guilty for not fulfilling his emotional and physical needs.

How do you solve something like this? Kindly ask him to speak to someone who can make him see sense else all you will do is clean up the mess caused by his baseless emotions.

This will be the constant pattern until he realises that his self-esteem and self-worth are not something that others can create for him.

If he refuses external help, do ask a person close to him to drive some sense into his thoughts where he sees an alternate perspective.

To keep your sanity intact, dissociate from his emotions and start behaving like they don’t impact you; over time you will realise that he is just trying to be a child asking for your attention in an inappropriate way.

Take time our for yourself to indulge in a lot of self-care and self-love that will go a long way in managing your emotions and self-worth as well.

Depending on him for your sanity at this point in time is like hitting your head against the wall.

So, be right to yourself from this moment on and make sure that you spend a lot of time nurturing the children as much as you nurture yourself.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |636 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

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Relationship
But he is never ready for any counselling. Even my parents tried to counsel him. Since our marriage the relationship with his parents got strained and neither of us talk to them. I feel that must be one reason. He never talks openly about anything to me. I try to show love to him in many ways. But i don't know what exactly he wants. He never answers basic questions of what he wants to eat today. How are you feeling and all. I feel so emotionally detached from him. Even when I cry or be sad he never tries to console me. In these years i never saw him completely joyful. Whenever I ask him he says I'm the way I'm. I was always like this. I'm a very joyful talkative person. He is polar opposite. Even a small joke is crack he never understands them and additionally he even feels irritated. I'm changing day by day. More serious, not enjoying, not going out. It's like I have given up on my little happiness.
Ans: First, recognize that your happiness and well-being are important. While it's commendable that you've tried to support your husband and show him love in many ways, it's also crucial to take care of yourself. Make time for activities that bring you joy and help you recharge, whether it's spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies, or simply taking a break for yourself.

Second, consider expressing your feelings to your husband in a calm, non-confrontational way. Share how his lack of communication and emotional detachment are affecting you. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory, such as, "I feel lonely and disconnected when we don't communicate or share moments of joy."

Since he resists counseling, look for alternative ways to open up communication. Sometimes indirect approaches, like writing him a letter, can help express your feelings without immediate pressure. If he continues to resist, focus on creating a supportive environment where he might eventually feel more comfortable opening up.

It's also important to reflect on your own boundaries and limits. If you've been trying to reach out and improve the relationship but see no reciprocation, consider what you're willing to accept and where you might need to draw the line for your own mental and emotional health.

Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or support groups. Talking to others who understand can provide emotional relief and practical advice. Even if he is unwilling to attend counseling, you might benefit from individual therapy to help process your feelings and develop coping strategies.

Finally, if the situation remains unchanged and continues to impact your well-being, it may be necessary to evaluate your long-term options. Your happiness and mental health are vital, and you deserve to be in a relationship where your emotional needs are met.

Remember that you're not alone, and it's okay to seek help and take steps to ensure your own well-being. Your efforts to maintain the relationship are commendable, but it's also important to recognize when it's time to prioritize yourself.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1705 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 15, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
My husband stopped being intimate with me after the birth of our second son. We have been married for 11 years but all we ever talk about is related to our children, their academics, and future. I have tried to speak to my husband about this but he feels everything is normal. We live in a 2BHK apartment in Pune. My mother-in-law visits us sometimes and she doesn't like me. But I am cordial with her. My husband never discusses his work or personal stuff with me. There is no love or intimacy between us. He takes care of all other needs of the house and my children. Is this normal? Am I worrying too much? Please help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You are right when you worry about the way things are between you and your husband. Obviously sexual intimacy is one of the pillars for a strong marriage (and not the only pillar). And you have noticed that this intimacy has stopped after the birth of your second child.
Now, one way of looking at it is that many couples get drained in responsibilities of raising babies and building the family and this means sex can be off the table for a long long time. Is this the same with the two of you as well?
OR
It can also be that many people use sex simply as means to have children (reproduce) and not as an activity to be indulged in other than for bringing children into the world. Is your husband one of those people?
OR
When you say there is no love and intimacy between the two of you, surely this could be another reason as both of you have not bothered to take out time for yourselves where you brought in the element of trust, care, affection, love...this is the basis for other forms of intimacy as well.
Work on this better...try and become each other's friend first...he need not just assume the role of a provider and take it on so seriously that he forgets that there is a wife that needs his care. At the same time, do not insist on sex till you also make an effort to bring him into a space where he sees you as his friend and starts to trust you...

What happens in the bedroom, starts first outside the bedroom with small gestures like laughing, watching movies together, cooking, holding hands...don't jump into sex instantly...wait...be patient...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1705 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 14, 2024Hindi
Relationship
I'm 40 years old and my husband is 50 years old. We have been married for 12 years now. We have a son who is 8 years old. My husband has always been a workaholic, which I have known from the beginning and have accepted it. He is a doting father to my son. But for the past year, he seems to have changed a lot. He still continues to be a doting father, his behaviour with me has changed a lot. We hardly talk, except regarding matters related to our son. I have confronted him on this and he says he is very busy with work. He says nothing is bothering him. But it feels like that is not true. It feels like he is angry with me but denies it. I feel ignored and like he is avoiding me. How do I resolve this?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, firstly, you were okay with something that you were not okay to start with (him focusing on work mostly) and that has set a stage for your relationship that you are and will be okay with it and he will continue to be that way without addressing his role as a husband.
Now, what is the reason for the change in his behavior, you can just keep guessing by playing games in your mind. The only way to resolve this is: to actually learn how to communicate with each other as adults, as husband and wife. The two of you have never bothered with it, yeah? Then now bother yourself by learning this new skill. Talk, communicate, listen and then take on the role of a wife in the marriage. Do the things that you would have wanted to, small expectations, those little arguments...even these can be communication letting the man know that as a wife you care and you do want your man to fulfill little things for you.
He then will start to feel useful in the marriage which is a big thing for men and once he feels that is being valued, he will tear down his wall and show up as a man and as a husband and not just a father.
So, a lot of work from your end as well for him to reciprocate and then it's a constant momentum from thereon...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1705 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu I need advice for my marriage. Ours was love cum arrange marriage 14 yrs ago.For first few years all was good .I am financially independent with good salary. My spouse s self employed. We hav one child 10 yrs old.My married s become more like a suffocating situation which I am not able to change.My husband is not at all interested in me now.He treats me invisible when it comes to husband wife relationship. He s good father and human being.But since last few yrs i am not having any emotional relationship with him.We spent so many days and time together yet not a single word of love emotions between us.He s busy with his calls mobile netflix all night while i keep awake all night.I have confronted him many times everytime he says you are always fighting with me and Want all this nonsense. He seem to avoid me all day. He want to discuss about his son and finances since i am earning more than him. its been years i cant handle it now.I want someone to look at me talk to me praise me love me.I deserve happiness but since my son is too small i can't think of living separately but i will die like this one day.I dont knw whats wrong with me seems its like he dont want to touch me as there s no physical relationship between us if we are home alone also.He tortures me mentally but remails happy.I failed as a wife despite giving my everything. I have none to discuss such embarrassing life .Pls advice what shall i do ?Should i found someone else as i dont have capacity to beg again and again?Its very difficult to imagine such long life with a partner who treats u invisible since years ?shall i shift to another city with my son?I am completely lost.Pls help everything. I cant beg for love and attention everytime
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There's almost and always a reason for any behavior change. Maybe you might want to understand what exactly made your husband lose interest in you. Did something happen for him to look the other way?
It's really hell living with a spouse who cold shoulders and stone walls you...My suggestion: Rather than blame yourself, have a discussion and not confrontation with him. Confrontations invariably lead you nowhere as you will be caught in an ego tussle. Discussion is where you try and understand what's on his mind and share how you feel.
Now, will he want that? Maybe not...but if this continues, you may want to give him an ultimatum. He must know that he isn't making a great point by ignoring you and that he must communicate the same with you instead.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 09, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 37 year old software engineer earning 2.6 lakhs per month. I have been saving aggressively and have corpus of 1.2 crores in mutual funds and 30 lakhs in fixed deposits. I am single and have no plans to marry. I want to retire by 45 and travel India. Is my current corpus sufficient? Should I continue SIP of 80,000 per month or increase it?
Ans: You have done extremely well in your 30s. A Rs 1.5 crore corpus at 37 shows strong discipline and consistency. Your goal of retiring by 45 to travel India is inspiring and possible with proper structure and planning. Let us review your situation in detail and understand what steps will help you reach your dream confidently.

» Current Financial Position

You are earning Rs 2.6 lakhs per month, which gives strong savings potential. Your corpus includes –

Rs 1.2 crores in mutual funds

Rs 30 lakhs in fixed deposits

This totals Rs 1.5 crores of financial assets, which is excellent for your age. Being single, your lifestyle needs are likely moderate, giving you flexibility in saving and planning early retirement.

Your SIP of Rs 80,000 per month also shows clear intent towards financial freedom. With eight years to your target retirement at 45, you still have a meaningful time horizon for compounding.

» Retirement at 45 – Key Understanding

Retiring at 45 means you may live for another 35 to 40 years post-retirement. That means your investments should generate sustainable income for four decades.

When you retire early, two factors matter most:

The amount of corpus accumulated.

The rate of withdrawal every year.

Your focus should shift from mere accumulation to ensuring longevity of wealth.

» Evaluating Your Current Corpus

Rs 1.5 crore corpus at 37 is a strong start. However, for retirement at 45, the adequacy depends on your annual expenses.

Suppose your annual expenses today are Rs 12 to 15 lakhs. With inflation at even 6%, they will double roughly in 12 years. That means at 45, your annual expenses could touch Rs 25 to 30 lakhs.

To generate that income sustainably after retirement, you will need a retirement corpus close to Rs 6 to 7 crores, assuming moderate withdrawal and conservative growth post-retirement.

This shows your current corpus is not yet sufficient for full retirement at 45. But the good news is, you are on track and have the right habits to bridge the gap in the next eight years.

» Role of SIP in Your Future Wealth

Your monthly SIP of Rs 80,000 is powerful. Over eight years, this can grow substantially. But whether to continue or increase depends on your surplus cash flow and financial comfort.

If your monthly savings rate allows, increasing your SIP by 10% every year can accelerate your compounding. Even a small annual rise can add a few extra crores to your wealth by age 45.

Remember, wealth creation is not just about the SIP amount but also about staying invested and consistent in quality funds through market cycles.

» Review of Asset Allocation

Your asset mix now shows around 80% in mutual funds and 20% in fixed deposits. This is aggressive but aligns with your age and goal.

Still, inside mutual funds, it is vital to ensure proper diversification –

Around 60–65% in equity mutual funds for long-term growth.

Around 20–25% in hybrid or balanced advantage funds for stability.

Around 10–15% in short-term debt funds or liquid funds for flexibility.

Your fixed deposits can serve as an emergency and short-term reserve. But they shouldn’t dominate long-term wealth since post-tax returns are low compared to inflation.

» Importance of Reviewing Mutual Fund Portfolio

Regular fund review is necessary, not fund hopping. Many investors stay in poor-performing funds or wrong categories without knowing.

If your funds have lagged peers for two to three years, it is time to switch to better-managed options.

Actively managed mutual funds handled by skilled fund managers can outperform passive strategies.

» Why Actively Managed Funds Are Better for You

Some investors think index funds are better. But they have limitations. Index funds cannot protect during market falls because they mirror the index.

Actively managed funds can change sectors or cash positions when markets turn risky. A professional fund manager can take timely calls, which helps reduce volatility.

For someone aiming early retirement, stability matters as much as growth. Active funds allow a Certified Financial Planner to adjust risk dynamically, whereas index funds lack this flexibility.

» Importance of Investing Through Regular Funds

Many believe direct mutual fund plans give higher returns. But that small difference comes at a bigger cost – lack of professional review.

Investing through regular plans with a Certified Financial Planner gives you ongoing monitoring, rebalancing, and strategy updates.

If you go direct, no one tracks performance, risk exposure, or suitability. For long-term goals like retirement, expert guidance adds far more value than the minor cost difference.

» Managing Risk Before Early Retirement

Retiring at 45 means your investments must sustain long after you stop working. Hence, capital protection becomes as important as growth.

Before retiring, shift 30–40% of your corpus into safer categories like hybrid or debt-oriented funds. This will reduce volatility when you start withdrawals.

At the same time, maintain at least three years of expenses in liquid or short-term instruments. This ensures you do not sell equity funds during a market fall.

» Planning for Inflation During Travel Years

You wish to travel across India after retirement. That is a wonderful goal. But travel costs rise faster than general inflation.

So, plan travel as a separate goal, not under basic living expenses. Maintain a distinct “Travel Fund” that continues to earn even during retirement.

You can keep it partly in balanced advantage or hybrid funds to grow safely.

» Insurance and Health Coverage

Being single does not mean skipping insurance. You must have strong health insurance to protect your savings.

Hospitalisation costs rise every year. Buy a comprehensive health cover of at least Rs 25–30 lakhs. Also, maintain personal accident insurance for peace of mind.

Without proper cover, one medical emergency can disturb your early retirement plan.

» Emergency Fund and Liquidity

Keep at least six to eight months of expenses in a liquid fund or bank account. This protects you from short-term shocks like job loss or large repair costs.

Your fixed deposits can be part of this emergency reserve.

» Tax Efficiency in Your Plan

Mutual funds are tax-efficient compared to fixed deposits. Under current rules:

Equity fund gains above Rs 1.25 lakh a year are taxed at 12.5% (LTCG).

Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.

For debt funds, gains are taxed as per your income slab.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide you to withdraw or rebalance in the most tax-efficient manner before retirement.

» Withdrawal Strategy After 45

When you retire, you should not withdraw randomly. Create a systematic withdrawal plan.

Use equity mutual funds for growth and hybrid or debt funds for regular income. Withdraw only from safer categories in the early years and let equities grow longer.

This approach extends the life of your corpus.

Avoid traditional annuities since they give low returns and no flexibility. Mutual fund withdrawal plans are far more efficient and transparent.

» Planning for Future Cash Flow

Even after retiring, it is wise to have some small income sources. You can consider part-time consulting or remote work to reduce pressure on your corpus during the first few years.

It also keeps you mentally active and allows your investments to compound longer.

» Avoiding Common Mistakes

Many early retirees make a few common mistakes:

Overestimating post-retirement income and underestimating inflation.

Ignoring medical and travel inflation.

Investing too conservatively early or too aggressively near retirement.

A Certified Financial Planner can help maintain the right balance through annual review.

» Rebalancing Regularly

Review your asset allocation every year. If equity has grown too much, shift some profits into hybrid or debt funds.

This simple rebalancing keeps risk under control and locks your gains.

Avoid reacting to market noise. Stick to your plan through all cycles.

» When to Increase Your SIP

If you receive salary hikes or bonuses, increase your SIP gradually. Even a 5–10% rise each year can make a big difference.

Your lifestyle should grow slower than your income. The extra savings should directly go into your SIP.

With this, you can reach your target corpus faster and maybe even retire before 45.

» Building Emotional Readiness for Retirement

Financial freedom is not only about money. It is also about purpose.

Since you plan to travel India, start exploring now during holidays. This helps you visualise the lifestyle you want later.

This emotional clarity supports long-term financial discipline.

» Role of Certified Financial Planner

A Certified Financial Planner can help you in several ways –

Reviewing your mutual fund mix and returns annually.

Rebalancing asset allocation for each life stage.

Creating a step-by-step withdrawal and income plan post-retirement.

Ensuring all decisions align with your early retirement goal.

Professional oversight removes guesswork and improves long-term results.

» Finally

Your current savings show strong intent and clarity. You have already built a powerful base of Rs 1.5 crores.

With your income and discipline, your dream of retiring at 45 is realistic. You only need to –

Stay consistent with SIPs and raise them yearly.

Keep reviewing your funds with a Certified Financial Planner.

Gradually build safer assets as you near 45.

Avoid emotional investment decisions.

Maintain health insurance and emergency reserves.

With these actions, you can achieve both early retirement and freedom to explore India without financial stress.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 09, 2025Hindi
Money
I am 35 years old software engineer earning 1.8 lakhs per month. I took home loan of 85 lakhs two years back and still have outstanding of 78 lakhs with EMI of 82000. Additionally I have personal loan of 8 lakhs EMI 18000. My wife earns 60000 and we have one year old baby. Should I use my mutual funds of 25 lakhs to prepay personal loan or continue EMIs? We are struggling every month.
Ans: You have managed your life responsibly at a young age. Owning a home, maintaining mutual fund investments, and providing for your family show discipline and focus. At 35, your income level is strong, and your financial situation can be stabilized with a few practical adjustments. Your concern about managing two loans while raising a child is valid, and it can be addressed systematically.

» Understanding Your Current Financial Situation

Your monthly family income is around Rs 2.4 lakh. Your total EMIs come to Rs 1 lakh, which means almost 42% of your income goes to debt repayment. That is a little high for comfort, especially with a one-year-old child and rising household expenses.

Your home loan balance is Rs 78 lakh with an EMI of Rs 82,000. The personal loan of Rs 8 lakh has an EMI of Rs 18,000. Personal loans generally carry high interest rates, while home loans are lower and offer tax benefits.

You also have mutual funds worth Rs 25 lakh, which gives you good liquidity. You are in a better position than many young families because you have savings available. The challenge is to use them wisely.

» Evaluating Loan Burden and Cash Flow Pressure

The total monthly outflow of Rs 1 lakh on EMIs is heavy for your stage of life. You have a growing child, family expenses, and the need to build future savings. Your wife’s income of Rs 60,000 helps, but you still face pressure on monthly cash flow.

It is important to reduce high-interest debt first. Personal loans typically carry 13%–16% interest. Home loans are around 8%–9%. If you continue both, a large portion of your income will go towards interest for several years.

Hence, tackling the personal loan first will reduce your burden meaningfully. Once that is cleared, your cash flow will improve by Rs 18,000 per month immediately. This can provide breathing space and allow you to manage household needs comfortably.

» Should You Use Mutual Funds to Prepay Personal Loan?

Yes, it is practical and wise to use part of your mutual fund corpus to close your personal loan. The logic is simple. The post-tax return from mutual funds (especially debt or hybrid) is usually lower than the interest you are paying on the personal loan.

For example, if your mutual funds are earning around 9% average annual return, but your personal loan costs 14%, you are losing value. Paying off that personal loan gives you a risk-free and guaranteed return equal to the loan interest you save.

You can use around Rs 8–9 lakh from your Rs 25 lakh mutual fund corpus to close the personal loan fully. Keep the remaining Rs 16–17 lakh invested for your long-term goals and emergencies.

By doing this, you free Rs 18,000 every month immediately. That is like earning an extra Rs 2.16 lakh per year without taking risk.

» Why Not Use Mutual Funds to Prepay Home Loan Now

Do not use mutual funds to prepay the home loan at this stage. Home loans are long-term, lower-cost loans that offer income tax benefits on both interest and principal repayment.

Also, housing loan interest after tax adjustment becomes effectively cheaper, especially if you fall in higher tax bracket. It is better to keep investing in mutual funds rather than repaying a low-interest, long-duration loan early.

If you use mutual funds to close the home loan, you will lose your emergency cushion and the power of compounding. Continue paying the home loan EMIs regularly. Focus on building future savings and liquidity instead.

» Reviewing Mutual Fund Portfolio

Before redeeming Rs 8–9 lakh to clear your personal loan, check your mutual fund portfolio composition. If you have both equity and debt funds, withdraw primarily from the debt or hybrid portions first.

Equity funds have long-term growth potential. It is better to preserve them for future goals like your child’s education or your retirement.

Also, review your overall mutual fund mix with a Certified Financial Planner. Avoid direct funds, even though they look cheaper. Regular funds through a CFP with MFD credential provide professional review, rebalancing, and ongoing guidance. This helps you stay aligned with your goals.

Avoid index funds too, as they only track an index and cannot adjust in market corrections. Actively managed funds with experienced fund managers provide flexibility and better downside protection.

» Setting Up an Emergency Fund

After closing the personal loan, maintain an emergency fund of at least six months of total expenses. This should include EMIs, household costs, and childcare expenses.

You can park this in liquid mutual funds or short-term bank deposits. For your family, this fund should be around Rs 5–6 lakh. This protects you from sudden financial shocks like medical emergencies or temporary job issues.

Do not invest this emergency fund in equity or long-term funds. It should stay fully accessible.

» Managing Monthly Budget and Lifestyle

Your fixed EMI of Rs 1 lakh will reduce to Rs 82,000 after closing the personal loan. With a household income of Rs 2.4 lakh, your EMI-to-income ratio will drop to about 34%. That is comfortable and safe.

Now review your monthly expenses. Create three categories:

Essentials (food, bills, baby needs, EMIs)

Comfort (subscriptions, dining, non-essential items)

Goals (savings, insurance, child education fund)

Allocate at least 10% of your income for savings even after EMIs. Keep growing your mutual fund investments monthly, even if through small SIPs. The consistency matters more than the amount.

» Importance of Insurance Protection

With high responsibilities and a home loan, you must secure your family with proper insurance. Take a term life insurance cover of at least Rs 1.5 crore for yourself. This ensures your wife and child can manage the home loan if anything happens to you.

Also, take family health insurance that covers your wife and baby adequately. Employer insurance may not be enough. A separate personal health plan adds safety.

Do not buy investment-linked insurance like ULIPs or endowment plans. They are expensive and give low returns. Always keep insurance and investment separate.

» Planning Future Goals

After stabilizing your current cash flow, you can refocus on long-term goals. Your child’s education and your retirement will be the next milestones.

You already have mutual funds worth Rs 16–17 lakh after using some for loan repayment. You can start new SIPs with part of your monthly surplus later. Use diversified equity mutual funds for long-term wealth creation.

Avoid overexposure to small or midcap funds. Keep a mix of large-cap and hybrid funds for balanced growth.

Revisit your goals with your Certified Financial Planner once every year. Adjust your asset mix according to your age and income growth.

» Tax Efficiency Planning

Your home loan gives you tax benefits under Section 80C for principal repayment and Section 24(b) for interest up to Rs 2 lakh per year. Continue to claim them fully.

Your mutual funds will give long-term capital gains advantage if held for more than one year. Under new rules, LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.

When redeeming to close your personal loan, check which mutual funds have completed one year to reduce tax impact. Redeem those first to minimize short-term gain taxation.

» Psychological Relief and Family Stability

Debt creates stress, especially when you have a young family. Clearing your personal loan gives immediate emotional relief. That peace of mind is also a financial benefit because it helps you plan calmly for future goals.

Once the personal loan is cleared, focus on family comfort and savings growth. Keep your financial communication open with your spouse. Together, you can handle any temporary financial strain with clarity and confidence.

» Gradual Improvement Plan

After closing the personal loan and setting up your emergency fund, you can slowly increase your monthly SIPs as your salary grows. This ensures your wealth builds steadily even with EMIs.

You can also plan to make partial prepayments on your home loan every two to three years if you receive bonuses or incentives. That will shorten your loan tenure and save interest.

But do not rush to prepay at the cost of losing liquidity. Maintain balance between safety, growth, and debt reduction.

» Managing Lifestyle Inflation

As your income rises, your expenses will also rise naturally. Control lifestyle inflation consciously. Avoid taking new loans for cars, gadgets, or vacations. Prefer saving first, spending later.

If you maintain this discipline for the next five years, your financial independence will grow very fast. Your family will have security, and your child’s future will remain protected.

» Finally

Your decision should be simple: use part of your mutual fund corpus to close the personal loan immediately. Continue paying your home loan normally. Maintain an emergency fund, review insurance coverage, and restart systematic investments once cash flow stabilizes.

This approach will improve your monthly comfort, reduce debt pressure, and strengthen your family’s long-term security. You are already doing many things right; you just need to prioritize debt reduction and liquidity now.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10749 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2025Hindi
Money
Dear Mr. Ramalingam, Have been following your recommendations to many problems in rediff. Greetings to you and team. Request your guidance and support on my below condition. # 46 years, Male, married wih no kids; Wife 43 years, both moms ~73, both dads ~77/80 years. | Retiring in 1 month because of unfortunate medical condition; No income from now - from me or any family member from now on; Fighting 4th stage cancer recent 6 months but managing fine so far | No need to take care of monthly expenses of both parents as they have sources for it (also 2 siblings of us will support them in future; they are well placed); Only for emergency medical, I will have to support. # Financial goal is to manage expenses for myself (medical)/wife largely + for parents AND BEYOND THAT leave wealth for family (largely wife), if possible. # Current value of investments: (MFs 3.2Crs + All bank accounts 48L) + (EPFO 41L + SBI PPF 22L) + (Land 140L?, Home/flat 40L?) = [Total 3.7Crs relatively liquid] + [EPFO+PPF 0.63 Crs] + [Assets: 1.4Crs*? + 40L*?] Plan to withdraw EPFO/PPF sooner within a year and reinvest in MFs (beyond certain buffer I wish to keep in my bank account - as emergency fund + to balance any additional expenses w/o disturbing MF SWP, basically buffer during non-performing times of market). ^ MFs largely in equity | Mix of different type of funds: Large Cap (10%), Mid cap (7.5%), Small cap (10%), Multi cap (2.5%), Large+Mid (5%).... Flexi cap (12.5%), Multi asset (5%), Dividend yield (5%), Aggressive hybrid/equity n debt fund (5%), Dynamic asset allocation/Balanced advantage (5%).... Sectoral/thematic across Pharma n health care/Infra/Banking n finance/Transportation n Logistics/Services/Digital (30%) # Monthly expenses: TOTAL Rs.1.5L from next month; Split of monthly will be Medical - Rs.1.05L, Home expenses includes all possible yearly too - Rs.30k, Misc - Rs.15k # Specific financial questions: 1) With the above current monthly expenses planned to be managed through SWP (and/or dividend plans, mostly largely SEP plus bit of dividend plan in the mix) AND considering the inflation for expenses and growth of funds beyond monthly SWPs, how many years will my funds of say 4.33Crs last? 20 years or 25 years?.... For the purpose of this calculation, you can assume my monthly medical expenses (70% of my total) to exist for long, irrespective of my life expectancy (anyways this would be tight pessimistic scenario finance-wise). 2) Any larger suggestions on the mix of mutual funds? (Still want it to be aggressive) 3) Views on managing monthly expenses through SWP or Dividend plan or both? 4) Any other suggestions? # Next steps: 1) Depending upon the answer for my first question, I need to see whether I need to sell my assets (land, home)? If so, will plan for it at some relevant point of time.
Ans: You have handled your financial life with great discipline and maturity, even during such a difficult personal phase. The clarity in your thoughts, documentation, and priorities shows a very strong and sensible financial mind. Your readiness to plan even now with balance and purpose is truly inspiring.

You have already achieved financial stability with almost Rs 4.33 crore of liquid and semi-liquid assets, plus additional property assets. Now the main objective is to secure sustainable monthly cash flow, ensure comfort for you and your wife, and preserve wealth for her future with minimal stress.

» Assessing Current Financial Position

You have Rs 3.2 crore in mutual funds, Rs 48 lakh in bank accounts, Rs 41 lakh in EPFO, Rs 22 lakh in PPF, a land worth around Rs 1.4 crore, and a home valued at Rs 40 lakh. Your total liquid and semi-liquid wealth is roughly Rs 4.33 crore, while total wealth including real estate is around Rs 6 crore.

You will retire in one month and will not have any regular income. Your total monthly expense will be around Rs 1.5 lakh, which includes Rs 1.05 lakh towards medical, Rs 30,000 towards household, and Rs 15,000 towards other needs. This means your annual expense will be Rs 18 lakh approximately.

Your parents are financially independent and have other siblings to support them. So your main responsibility is your own and your wife’s expenses, and occasional emergency support for parents.

This clarity helps in framing your future allocation and strategy with precision.

» Understanding Longevity of Your Funds

You have Rs 4.33 crore available to generate monthly income through mutual fund SWP or partial dividend route. With a balanced and active management, this corpus can last for 20 to 25 years or even beyond.

If we assume average post-tax growth from your mutual funds and rebalanced portfolio of around 8% to 9% per year, and your annual expense rising at 5% inflation, your corpus should comfortably sustain around 22 to 24 years.

This is a realistic assumption keeping your present asset mix and moderate withdrawals in mind. Your medical cost is the major component, and since you have planned for that conservatively, your fund durability is strong.

Even in a slightly lower growth period, say around 6.5% to 7%, your corpus should still support you and your wife comfortably for around 18 to 20 years, especially if you keep a buffer in your savings account as you planned.

So overall, the funds can last approximately 20–25 years without the need to sell your land or home in the short term.

» Evaluating Current Mutual Fund Portfolio Mix

Your present mutual fund allocation is diversified and slightly aggressive, which is good for long-term wealth retention. But it can be improved slightly to balance risk and liquidity.

At present you have about 60% in pure equity including large, mid, and small cap, 30% in sectoral funds, and the rest in hybrid and multi-asset categories. The overall equity exposure is on the higher side for someone who will depend fully on the portfolio for income.

Sectoral funds are volatile. While you may have gained in them earlier, they can fall sharply during market corrections. Keeping 30% in such thematic and sectoral funds is risky when you depend on regular withdrawals.

To make your portfolio more sustainable, shift around 10% to 15% from sectoral funds into diversified hybrid or balanced advantage funds. These funds adjust between equity and debt based on market cycles. They provide more stable monthly withdrawal potential.

Also, keep at least 15% in pure debt or short-duration mutual funds for regular SWP support. This portion can be drawn during poor market phases without disturbing your equity holdings.

Thus, an ideal mix for your current phase could be:

45–50% diversified equity (large, flexi, multi, and large-mid mix)

25–30% hybrid, balanced advantage, and multi-asset funds

15% pure debt or short-term bond funds

10% or less in selective sectoral or thematic funds, mainly healthcare since it is directly related to your expense area

This structure can balance growth, income, and capital safety effectively.

» On Aggressiveness and Stability

You have mentioned you still wish to stay aggressive. That mindset is understandable because growth helps maintain wealth longer. However, being fully aggressive when you rely on monthly withdrawals can cause stress in volatile markets.

A smart way to stay growth-oriented yet secure is to keep the core of your portfolio in stable diversified funds and maintain a smaller tactical allocation in sectoral or thematic ideas. This ensures your growth ambition remains, but downside risk is controlled.

You can continue annual review with a Certified Financial Planner for rebalancing and withdrawal adjustments. This disciplined approach helps extend the life of your corpus.

» EPFO and PPF Utilisation

Your EPFO and PPF amount together is around Rs 63 lakh. As you plan to withdraw them within a year, do so gradually based on your tax position. These funds are already in safe debt form. When reinvesting, allocate around half into debt mutual funds or balanced advantage funds. This ensures continuity of low volatility and better post-tax returns than keeping everything in fixed deposits.

The rest can be added to your equity allocation selectively for long-term stability. This gradual reinvestment plan is very practical and safe.

» Strategy for Monthly Expenses – SWP vs Dividend Plan

Between SWP and dividend options, SWP is clearly better. In SWP, you can control how much to withdraw and when. You also enjoy better tax efficiency since only the gains portion is taxed.

Dividend plans are irregular. Dividends depend on fund manager decisions and are fully taxable as income. You cannot rely on them for steady cash flow.

So maintain your regular monthly income through Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP). Keep a buffer of around 6–8 months of expenses in your bank account or liquid fund. Use that only if the market falls or SWP value drops temporarily.

This approach creates a self-managed income pipeline without touching your main principal for many years.

You can design your SWP in such a way that you draw monthly around Rs 1.5 lakh, and review every 6–9 months based on expenses and fund performance.

» Inflation Management and Growth Balance

Inflation is your main silent challenge. Medical costs can rise faster than normal inflation. So, you need your portfolio to grow at least 2–3% more than inflation.

That is why continuing partial exposure to equity and hybrid funds is essential. They provide real growth after inflation.

By withdrawing systematically and allowing the rest to compound, your portfolio will continue to grow and offset inflationary effects.

» Managing Emergency Medical and Unplanned Expenses

You can keep Rs 40–50 lakh in liquid form as a buffer. Around Rs 20–25 lakh can stay in high-quality liquid mutual funds, and another Rs 20–25 lakh in your bank or short-term deposits.

This ensures you can handle any sudden medical cost without disturbing your main investments or triggering large redemptions during a market correction.

You can also take a top-up health insurance policy if medically possible and if existing cover permits. This can reduce direct cash flow impact for major hospital bills.

» Tax Efficiency and Withdrawal Planning

Under current rules, equity mutual fund long-term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%. For debt funds, both short and long-term gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Hence, SWP is tax-efficient because only the profit part in each withdrawal is taxed, not the full withdrawal amount. By staggering your withdrawals across years, you can stay under the lower LTCG tax bracket and avoid large one-time tax payments.

Also, choose regular mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner and not direct funds. Direct funds appear cheaper but lack professional support and review. A qualified CFP ensures regular rebalancing, correct fund selection, and timely switches based on your unique situation.

» Estate and Legacy Planning

Since your wish is to leave wealth for your wife and possibly other family members, prepare a clear and valid will. Mention all your investments, bank accounts, mutual fund folios, and property details. Add proper nominations in each asset.

Also, consider creating a simple instruction note for your wife about how to operate the SWP, contact your Certified Financial Planner, and manage future withdrawals.

This will give her peace of mind and help her continue your financial discipline seamlessly.

» View on Selling Assets

You do not need to sell your land or house immediately. Your financial corpus is strong enough to last 20–25 years as discussed. Keep the land as a reserve. If, after 8–10 years, your medical cost rises or your corpus reduces significantly, you can then sell the land to add to the fund base.

Land is an illiquid asset, so it should be the last option to use, not the first. Till then, let it remain as a backup wealth or future inheritance for your wife.

» Emotional and Practical Comfort

You are already mentally strong and practical in your planning. Continue this same calm approach. Your financial independence is assured for many years. Focus now on your health, comfort, and time with your family.

Even if your expenses rise slightly due to medical reasons, your portfolio can handle it through rebalancing. The key is regular review, maintaining liquidity, and adjusting SWP amounts carefully every year.

Your wife will also remain financially independent through your thoughtful preparation. This itself is a great gift to her and your extended family.

» Finally

You have already built a wise, balanced, and meaningful financial setup. Your funds of around Rs 4.33 crore can comfortably sustain for 20–25 years with systematic withdrawal and prudent review. You can stay moderately aggressive with diversified equity and hybrid mutual funds, while avoiding excessive sectoral concentration.

SWP remains the best method for monthly income, supported by a healthy emergency buffer in liquid form. Avoid dividend plans, and invest through a Certified Financial Planner to ensure periodic rebalancing and tax efficiency.

There is no urgent need to sell your land or home now. Keep them as your long-term backup and potential legacy assets.

Your current planning is already very well-thought-out. You only need to fine-tune it slightly for risk control and ensure smooth income flow.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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