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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Sirisha Question by Sirisha on Apr 16, 2025Hindi
Relationship

hi i completed my MSc and working as assistant professor from 1 year along with my studies i am doing corresponding course for my career last year on october i informed my parents that i am loving one person since 8 years he was my childhood friend immediately they forcefully bought me to home they taken my mobile i didnt put proper resignation also they house arrested me since three months i lost my job now there are not allowing me to take exam of my course i tried a lot to convience about my love they are not even listening about him . he was getting 25k salery we both are at 25 age and i trust him he will get more salery in future and we both supports each other in our life to secure our life but my parents are not trusting me and him they always distrust about my abilities regarding my job my education. can anyone please tell me what should i do know

Ans: Dear Sirisha,
First, you need to get your independence back—both physically and financially. Being kept at home against your will and cut off from communication is a form of confinement. If you feel unsafe or unable to leave freely, you have the legal right to seek help from the police, women’s helpline numbers, or local women’s support organisations. In India, the law recognises your right to choose your partner once you are an adult, and your parents cannot legally stop you from working, studying, or marrying someone of your choice.

Second, you should try to quietly gather your important documents (ID proofs, educational certificates, job-related papers) and contact trusted friends, colleagues, or relatives who can support you. Once you have some safe place to go, you can work on getting your career back on track—either by rejoining work or preparing for your exam.

Finally, you need to decide whether you want to continue trying to convince your parents or take steps independently. Some families change their stance once they realise you are firm and financially independent, but in many cases, waiting for their approval just keeps you stuck.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 17, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Mam i am in relationship for 9 years now..he became my boyfriend when i shifted in my new house he was my neighbour..i was in 10th when i got caught and since then my parents hate my boyfriend , i apologized to my parents then and said to have no contact with my boyfriend but 9 years down the lane ..we are totally connected and living a peaceful healthy relationship..my parents hate my boyfriend and his family to the core..my relationship with ny parents are.mixed someday they will be super nice to me , another day they will abuse me for evn small things..we have ups and down in our relationship but i love them a lott , i want to care of them in their old age..but at this point i want to talk to them about my boyfriend but seeinng that they hate him so much i am literally very very afraid that my parents will hate me to their core knowing about someone i want to marry whoom they hate soo much ..... i don't know how will they react .. i am been through physcial and verbal abuse earlier too but i don't know how much worse it can get this time..for them the girl who marry their parents choice is the best in the world..my boyfriend and i have no caste issue its just the ego issues with my parents they think karrying into that house they will never able to have good enough respect though my mother and his mother talk..but that too my mother bitch a lott about her mother for even nonsensical things..i am 24 now and preparing for government exam ...i am soo much stress knowing i have to choose between my love or my parents.....i think so even if i marry him with their superficail consent they will never be happy woth me..and can even cut contacts with me...i don't know what to do i have no elder in my house to make parents explain...mam plss show me some path
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
No where have you mentioned what your boyfriend does for a living? Could this be the reason that your parents refuse to acknowledge your relationship?
Parents want the best for their children but at times their own beliefs on love marriages etc can come in the way. Since you are an adult, it is time to actually start acting like one. My suggestion is to have a conversation with them and understand the reason for their refusal to accept your boyfriend. If it is one of society and family objection, then you know how to handle it BUT if their concern is more about his character or his job, you both need to make an effort to take away that concern so that they accept all this wholeheartedly.
Find the reason and things will become clearer as to how you must handle the situation.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1762 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 18, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hello mam, in the school days I loved a boy which was for 8 years relationship and unfortunately we broke up.. again after some days i was in the love with another guy he tortured me so bad. These two love stories know to my parents. When I told about second person they reacted very badly and they said that they would kill that boy . But now I wanted to marry the first boy which was of 8 years relationship. My parents are very serious about it and they are trying to get matches for me. How can I tell this matter to them?. What if they threaten to kill us? I know I made a mistake but it was so unfortunate. In my whole family no one is supportive to me..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How old are you now?
And just to protect you, your family will find it hard supporting you on this decision.
How is your relationship with the first boy now? Is he aware of your second relationship? Does the first boy also want to be married to you?
There was a reason why the two of you had broken up, has that reason now been eliminated?
All these questions must be answered before you make a decision to marry the first boy and only after that can you have an sort of debate with your parents on the decision. Obviously, they are concerned for you and what you have gone through and hence feel that who they choose for you will be the best for you...
So, to have them on your side, you need to work on the above questions and also make sure that you have a future with the boy and that you can take care of yourself. This involves a lot of work...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |77 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jan 23, 2026

Relationship
i am 42 yrs married and i married before 15yrs.My spouse cheated me before our marriage, she had a relationship with one guy.. that time i also asked her abt this guy but she not told me anything. and second day of my marriage i came to know that she cheated me.i completely broke down and i told her don't leave with me. go to your home. but she said i didn't know how this happened and i was very sorry for my mistake and i will never do it again in my life.. now its almost 15 yrs went away but still i unable to forgot what she done with me. we have two kids. Since the day i warned her before 15 yrs still today she listen everything i want, every words, whatever she want to do she always took my permission. but still i unable to forgot her past. she cheated me that time... whenever i thought abt her i felt nervous and its effect on work.. what should i do
Ans: Hello sir. I hope you are in good health.
Talking about your life, i would like to tell you one thing. Whatever your wife did it was before marriage. It was not after marriage . So it cannot be taken as cheating.
Secondly, she accepted and promised that she ll not do it again and she kept her promise.
Thirdly as per you she takes your permission wherever she goes, she informs you everything. All this she is doing just to regain trust. I think you should forget the past.
Holding on to past will bring you nothing. Pain and problems badhengi kam nahi hongi. Apne bacho pe, apni family pe and apne kaam pe dhyan de and apni life enjoy kare.
I hope this solves the problem
Take care!
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |77 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jan 23, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2026Hindi
Relationship
My boyfriend's mom is very possessive. Whenever we are together she finds a reason to interrupt or call him away from me. When we go out, she constantly checks on where he is, what we are doing, and how long we will be together. I feel like there is too much interference. He is 31, I am 27. We are both financially independent. But there is no space for us to build our relationship without his mom being involved in our lives. I understand her concern as a mother, but this level of control makes me feel invisible and sidelined. I'm worried how this will affect our relationship if we continue and take it to the future?
Ans: Hello mam..I hope you are fine. Well, coming to your problem mam. We live in a country where it is considered very normal to interfere in each other's life. Be it siblings or children or for that matter anyone. So as per our society this behaviour is very normal for your boyfriend's mother. But on the other hand, in this era this generation is somewhat more independent and don't like interference. If she is interfering too much, your boyfriend should also feel this and he is the only one who can draw boundaries and can ask his mother to stop being controlling.
You should not directly hit this on your boyfriend. Rather talk to him regarding this in a very polite and convincing manner so that he can take care of the matter. But if he feels that her mother's behaviour is ok then also you need to discuss and convince him about your privacy. If you want to take this relationship further then you need to correct the things beforehand.
I hope this solves your problem.
Take care
Follow me on : https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10986 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2026

Money
I am planning to invest approximately ₹20,000 per month to meet my short- and medium-term financial goals. My primary objectives include funding my marriage in four years and my sister’s marriage in two years. In addition, I would like to plan for my long-term retirement goals and can invest ₹5,000 per month for the next 15 years or more. I request your guidance on suitable mutual fund options for both goals, preferably with exposure to equity and index funds, to optimize returns while aligning with my investment horizon and risk profile. Also i can increase year on year approx 10 %. Kindly suggest an appropriate investment strategy and mutual fund schemes for the above requirements. regards Shiju
Ans: You are thinking ahead and that itself gives you a strong advantage. Planning for family responsibilities and your own retirement at the same time shows clarity and maturity. With a step-up of 10 percent every year, your plan becomes even stronger.

» Understanding your goals and time frames
– Sister’s marriage is a short-term goal of around 2 years
– Your own marriage is a medium-term goal of around 4 years
– Retirement is a long-term goal of 15 years or more
– Monthly investment capacity is Rs 20,000 for short and medium term goals
– Monthly investment capacity is Rs 5,000 for long-term retirement
– You are comfortable with gradual increase every year

» Right asset approach for short-term goal (2 years)
– Capital protection is more important than high return here
– Equity exposure should be limited because market ups and downs can hurt the goal
– Focus should be on stability and liquidity
– Use low-risk mutual fund categories with limited equity exposure
– Avoid pure equity funds for this goal
– Start moving money to safer options as the goal date comes closer

» Right asset approach for medium-term goal (4 years)
– This goal allows some equity exposure but not aggressive risk
– Balanced approach works better than full equity
– Equity portion should reduce as you reach the 4th year
– Gradual shift from equity-oriented funds to safer funds is important
– This protects the money when the goal is near

» Why index funds are not suitable for your goals
– Index funds only copy the market and cannot protect you in falling markets
– There is no fund manager decision to control risk during bad times
– In short and medium-term goals, market falls can delay marriages or force loans
– Actively managed funds try to control downside risk
– Fund managers can move between sectors and stocks based on market conditions
– This flexibility helps in protecting capital and improving consistency

» Long-term retirement planning approach (15 years or more)
– This is where equity should play a bigger role
– Long-term goals can handle market ups and downs
– Actively managed equity funds suit this horizon well
– Consistent investing and annual step-up will build strong wealth over time
– Avoid chasing last year’s top-performing funds
– Stick to quality funds with stable management

» Why regular mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner help
– Regular funds give you ongoing monitoring and rebalancing support
– Behaviour control is very important during market corrections
– Many investors exit at wrong times without guidance
– A Certified Financial Planner helps align investments with life goals
– Cost difference is small, but guidance value is very high

» How to use the 10 percent annual increase wisely
– Increase SIP amount every year after salary revision
– First priority should be retirement SIP increase
– Next priority is medium-term marriage goal
– This keeps long-term wealth creation on track

» Tax awareness for your planning
– Equity mutual funds sold within one year attract higher short-term tax
– Selling after one year is more tax efficient for long-term goals
– Plan redemptions carefully near goal dates
– Do not redeem entire amount in one shot unless needed

» Final Insights
– You are on the right path by separating goals clearly
– Avoid index funds and focus on actively managed funds for better control
– Match risk level strictly with goal time frame
– Annual step-up will quietly do the heavy lifting
– With discipline and timely review, all three goals can be met without stress

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10986 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 23, 2026

Money
i have jeevan anad policy 149 for 21 yrs,started in 2006 for 3 lac sum assured what will; be final amount in 2027- date of maturity
Ans: You have shown good discipline by continuing this long-term policy from 2006 till maturity. Staying invested for the full term in such policies needs patience, and that itself deserves appreciation.

» Policy snapshot in simple words
– Policy start year: 2006
– Policy term: 21 years
– Maturity year: 2027
– Sum assured: Rs 3,00,000
– Type: Traditional life insurance with savings and yearly bonuses

» How the maturity amount is generally built
– The final amount at maturity is mainly made of two parts
– First part is the basic sum assured, which is Rs 3,00,000
– Second part is the accumulated simple reversionary bonuses added every year
– Some years may also have a small final bonus, depending on overall performance

» Expected maturity value by 2027
– For policies started around 2006 with a 21-year term, the bonus rates were relatively stable for many years
– Over the full policy term, the total maturity amount usually becomes around 2 times the sum assured, sometimes slightly more
– In practical terms, your maturity amount in 2027 is likely to be in the range of
– Around Rs 5.75 lakh to Rs 6.50 lakh
– The exact figure will depend on the final bonus declared in the year of maturity

» What this amount means for you financially
– The maturity value is safe and tax-free under current rules
– It works well as a lump-sum support fund rather than a high-growth investment
– The returns are steady but modest when compared to long-term inflation
– The policy also continues to provide life cover even after maturity, which adds emotional comfort

» Important planning observations
– This policy has already done its job by giving safety and forced savings
– Since maturity is close, it is wise to plan how this amount will be used before 2027
– Options can include debt reduction, children’s education support, or building a stable low-risk allocation
– Avoid keeping the entire maturity amount idle in savings for too long

» Final Insights
– Your discipline over 21 years is the biggest strength here
– Expect a maturity amount close to Rs 6 lakh, give or take
– The value lies more in certainty and peace than in high returns
– With proper reinvestment planning after maturity, this amount can still play a meaningful role in your overall financial picture

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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