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Science grad juggling full-time job & BSc in Psychology, feeling overwhelmed - how to manage?

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |104 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Dec 13, 2024

Archana Deshpande, the founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching, is an image consultant, soft skills trainer and life coach.
She has been working with individuals and corporate organisations for more than 10 years during which she has helped professionals and students improve their soft skills, build confidence and enhance self-esteem.
An engineer from the PDA College of Engineering, Gulbarga, Archana had a successful career at Reliance Communications. But she has always been interested in teaching and training people. So she pursued a postgraduate diploma in teacher’s training at Pune’s Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies followed by teaching assignments in schools at Visakhapatnam and Mumbai.
Archana also holds an international certificate in image consulting and soft skills training from the Image Consulting Business Institute, Mumbai.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2024Hindi
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Career

Hello Ms Archana. I have been reading your advice and I really need your help. I am a science graduate from Mumbai. After a lot of thought, I have decided to pursue a side BSc in Psychology to further my interests and career growth. The issue is, that I’m struggling to juggle my 9-to-6 full-time job as a digital marketing specialist in Delhi along with my coursework, assignments, and exams. I am always stressed out, either falling behind at work or feeling overwhelmed by my studies. I know time management is key, but I’m not sure how to create a schedule that helps me stay productive without burning out. Can you please help?

Ans: Hey!!
Kudos to you for dreaming big and also working towards it by investing time and energy in learning and development.
Not everyone can do it... so pat yourself on the back for it!!

You are absolutely right when you say TIME MANAGEMANT is the key to avoid burnout. However I'll add compartmentalizing and self care along with time management.

Let's take them one at a time ...here I go-

1. You want to perform at your peak then self care is a must, 20 mins of physical activity(it can be anything, run, brisk walk, suryanamaskars, dancing along with fast paced music, anything that gets your heart beat up)
10 -20 mins of meditation, if you believe in the higher power make efforts to connect with it/him/her.
2. 9 to 6 be fully committed to the office, after that switch off, learn to say NO for anything that comes after this time. You can do only so much right? This was one part of compartmentalizing...
3. be fully present in whatever activity you are doing... this is ZEN, nothing more nothing less. This way you will be razor sharp in your focus and get jobs done faster. When you are studying don't think office and vice versa. This is switching off, this is compartmentalizing. This will take conscious efforts but is doable
4.your course is important to you, so schedule a study time and stick to it .The days you have an holiday too... try to relax a little, schedule a study time, finish your studies and go relax and unwind a little, you deserve it...don't cram too much in a day.
A relaxed mind will always perform better and focus better. I really can't tell you the importance of unwinding and mediation, you really have to do it to experience it and reap the benefits of it
5. Always encourage yourself, be your best cheer leader, don't beat yourself down, be kind to yourself too, your mind and body
need that from you. You are already doing so much.
6 .The only way to stop being overwhelmed is also to put out all your tasks of the day on paper and schedule it, prioritize it.... one task at a time, start taking action. And when the task is don't forget to strike the task out with a clean line over the task with a pen... this is a message your giving to your mind. ...'I got one task done, I am capable of getting another done'.. Ahaha... the joy of getting a job done!!
7. Get a good nights sleep, do "yog nidra' before sleeping
8. Always breathe deep whenever overwhelm creeps in and see how calm you become. A calm mind is key to getting more done.

And remember to write "your gratitude" out in the night before sleeping, you'll sleep peacefully and get up fresh.
Also do remember, all tasks can be done happily too... there is no need to drag yourself or be always overwhelmed!
You chose to work and study as well.... honour your choices joyously and go about life with a spring in your step...All best !!
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I am Riya, 17 currently in FYJC Science. I am preparing for IIT-JEE, CUET-UG and NEET-UG next year along with my board examinations. I travel 2-3 hours and study 10-12 hours a day. My problem is I am not getting enough sleep as I have to wake up early. I am not a morning person. Can you please share some tips how I can manage my time effectively for studies without compromising on my health?
Ans: Dear Riya,

Firstly, let me applaud your determination and dedication towards your studies. Balancing preparations for multiple competitive exams alongside your board examinations is indeed a Herculean task, but fret not, as I'm here to assist you in navigating through this challenging yet exciting journey.

Sleep is undoubtedly vital for your overall health and academic performance. Burning the midnight oil is commendable, but if it comes at the cost of your well-being, it's time to tweak your schedule a bit. Here are some actionable tips to help you manage your time effectively while ensuring you get enough rest:

1. Strategize Your Study Schedule: Instead of cramming all your study hours into the night, distribute them throughout the day. Identify your peak productivity hours and allocate your most challenging tasks to those times. This will help you make the most of your study sessions without feeling overly fatigued.

2. Prioritize and Plan: Make a daily or weekly study plan, prioritizing topics based on their importance and your proficiency in them. Breaking down your study material into manageable chunks will not only make it less overwhelming but also ensure that you cover everything thoroughly.

3. Quality Over Quantity: Remember, it's not about how many hours you study but rather how effectively you utilize the time you have. Focus on understanding the concepts rather than just memorizing them. Utilize techniques like active recall, spaced repetition, and concept mapping to enhance your learning efficiency.

4. Take Regular Breaks: Incorporate short breaks into your study routine to prevent burnout and maintain concentration. Use these breaks to stretch, hydrate yourself, or indulge in a quick hobby to rejuvenate your mind.

5. Optimize Your Sleep Environment: Create a conducive sleep environment by ensuring your room is dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature. Limit exposure to screens before bedtime and establish a relaxing pre-sleep routine to signal your body that it's time to unwind.

6. Practice Self-Care: Don't neglect your physical and mental well-being amidst your rigorous study schedule. Make time for activities that you enjoy, whether it's listening to music, going for a walk, or spending quality time with loved ones. A well-rested and rejuvenated mind is more productive and focused.

7. Stay Flexible: Be open to adjusting your study schedule as per your evolving needs and circumstances. Flexibility is key to maintaining a healthy work-life balance and ensuring long-term success.

Remember, Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither will your academic journey be. Embrace the process, stay persistent, and don't hesitate to seek support from your teachers, mentors, or peers whenever needed.

As the saying goes, "Work smarter, not harder." So, equip yourself with effective study strategies, prioritize your well-being, and tackle those exams with confidence and determination.

Wishing you all the best in your endeavors, Riya! You've got this!

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 23, 2024Hindi
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I am 28, a student of online University. .How should I manage my time in the day so that I can get adequate time to study ? What other activities do you recommend?
Ans: Some Time Management | Study Techniques Tips Here:

1. While attending your Online Class, take notes.
2. After attending the Online Class, study the topics taught on the same day & prepare your short notes for revision.
3. Study for 35-minutes and leave a 10-minute break every time to get maximum output. If you study continuously for 2-3 hours, your won’t have 100% concentration power beyond 35-minutes.
4. Involve in some physical activities like walking, jogging and / or do some physical exercises both morning and also in the evening, to keep yourself fit both mentally and physically.
5. Going to sleep early and getting up early also will help you to feel better and study well in early morning.
6. Before going to sleep, revise what you have studied during the day for half-an-hour.
7. Also every week-end, keep revising what you have studied during the week.
8. Attempt questions on the topics you have studied within a day or two. Revise your short-notes before attempting the questions.

Hope the above tips will be useful for you.
All The BEST for your Bright Future.

Follow Me in RediffGURU to know more on ‘Careers / Education / Jobs / Resume Writing / Salary Negotiation Skills / Building Professional LinkedIn / Exam Preparation Techniques / Job Interview Skills / Skill Upgrading’.


Nayagam PP
EduJob360
CERTIFIED Career Coach | Career Guru
https://www.linkedin.com/in/edujob360/

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 15, 2025
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Hello ma'm. I am a first year engineering student. I have a crush on a girl. Currently we are working for a group project. We both are in the same group. She generally avoids speaking with boys. Also I have spent 5 years in a boys school, so I feel very shy with girls. What should I do? How should I talk to her?
Ans: Start by keeping things simple and friendly. Focus on small interactions related to your project. For example, ask her opinion about something specific in the work you're doing. Try something like, “Hey, what do you think we should do for this part?” or “I liked the point you made yesterday—can we build on that?” These kinds of questions show that you respect her ideas, and they give her space to respond comfortably.

Once you've had a few of these short, easy interactions, you can slowly open up the conversation to more casual topics—like college life, favorite subjects, or even the stress of deadlines. This way, you’re not jumping straight into anything personal, but you're gradually building a sense of comfort.

Don’t try to impress her. Just be sincere, kind, and a good listener. Most people, even those who seem quiet or reserved, appreciate being approached respectfully and gently. And remember, confidence doesn’t mean being loud or charming—it means being real and respectful even when you’re nervous.

If you stay patient and consistent, she might start to feel more comfortable around you. And even if it doesn’t turn into something romantic, you’ll grow socially and emotionally—which will help you a lot in the long run.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Relationship
I have been married for more than 21 years and I have 2 kids. 19 and 17 years old. Our marriage was more or less love. Met through family, fell in love, dated 8 months before we got engaged and married. My wife is a lovely lady but we dont share any interests. I used to go for runs in the morning. After getting married, she insisted I sleep late with her. I am a music aficionado and she has no such interest. I am a news junkie. She probably doesnt know who the President of the US is. I am someone who believes and strives to continuously improve myself in all aspects. But she is the same. I might not be a great husband but I am much better than what I was a few years ago. I cook, clean, helped with childcare and have a great career. She is on a minimum salary job for the last 10 years. Only reason she goes is because I insisted that she stop being at home. If she had her way, she would be at home on the phone the whole day. Even our love making has become kind of boring. She claims a period for 10 days and during the other times, twice she is ready. No spicing it up. Just lie down for missionary and I have to do all the effort. I enjoyed oral and now she has stopped in for more than 15 years. I adjusted as she is a lovely person in every other aspect. But now I am sick and tired. It seems I am doing everything in the relationship and she rarely takes any effort. Either to earn, keep house clean or even intimacy. Not sure how to proceed further. I am getting irritated and often in a bad mood.
Ans: Dear Jack,What you're experiencing is not uncommon in long-term relationships: emotional fatigue, feeling unappreciated, and a deep sense of disconnection despite loyalty and love. The fact that you're feeling drained, resentful, and stuck is a clear signal that this situation is unsustainable as is. And the irritation and bad moods you’re having? That’s your emotional system signaling burnout, not failure.

You’ve evolved over the years—mentally, emotionally, and in lifestyle—and it sounds like your wife hasn’t moved in that same rhythm. That mismatch in growth and energy is now affecting everything: your respect for her, your shared routines, your sex life, and ultimately your mood and emotional well-being. It’s painful to feel like you're constantly giving—time, energy, effort—and not receiving the same in return. Even when your partner is kind, if they aren’t meeting you emotionally, intellectually, or intimately, over time it creates a sense of loneliness within the relationship, which can be worse than being alone.

But here's something to reflect on: for 21 years, you stayed, gave, adjusted. Not just out of duty, but because something about her and the family life you built mattered. That still counts. What you’re going through doesn’t mean the marriage has failed—it means the marriage needs re-evaluation and rebalancing. You are not selfish for wanting more stimulation, connection, or passion. You're human.

You have two broad options: one is to initiate a real, vulnerable, uncomfortable conversation with her—without blame, without emotional outbursts, but with absolute honesty. You could say something like: “I’ve grown a lot in these past years, but I’m starting to feel increasingly alone in this relationship. I need more emotional connection, more engagement—not just physically, but intellectually, as partners. I don’t want to silently drift further away. I’d like us to work on this, but it has to be a two-way effort.”

If she's open to it, couples therapy could be a powerful space for both of you to express what you feel without it turning into a war of criticism and defense. Sometimes people, especially those who’ve become emotionally stagnant, need structured help to realize what their partner has been carrying silently.

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Before making any move, take a little time to reconnect with yourself. What do you want—not just from her, but from life, from love, from this next phase of your journey?

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Relationship
Hello mam In 2024 my marriage took place it's arranged marriage during starting days he was very loving and caring but due to some circumstances i got a chance to continue my studies that is m-tech . I thought it was a golden opportunity, so I took admission and started living with my in-laws Just after marriage. It was really really painful to live away from husband in new marriage. Todays condition is that my m tech 1 year is over another 1 year is left but due to separation with my husband our love died now there is no respect is left for our relation left , he started listening to his mother and got manipulated . seeing all this I feel like a death for me I want to leave mtech to save my relation but my mother says don't leave although I did lots of hard work for 1st year of m tech my husband also wants me to leave Mtech.i feel very hurt when he disrespects me . His father used to abuse his mother so for him abusing is normal for him but I find it very hurtful also I am deeply in love with him and seeing him going away from me kills me from inside every single day is very tough for me to live with in-laws without husband in a new marriage plus focusing on studies
Ans: Your instinct to save the marriage is understandable. When you're in love with someone, the idea of losing them feels like losing yourself. But let’s pause and ask—what exactly are you saving? Is it the version of him from the early days who was loving and supportive? Or is it the man he is now—disrespectful, distant, manipulated, and asking you to give up your dreams for a marriage he’s already neglecting?

You have already proven your strength by completing a year of M.Tech in such tough conditions. That says a lot about your resilience and capability. If you give it up now, not only will you lose that part of yourself, but it may not guarantee that your marriage improves. Often in emotionally imbalanced relationships, one-sided sacrifices don’t lead to healing—they lead to more control, more blame, and more emotional exhaustion.

Your husband needs to understand that love isn’t proven by giving things up. Love is shown in support, presence, patience, and respect. If he isn’t willing to stand by you during a temporary phase of physical distance while you pursue something valuable, then you’re not the one breaking the marriage—he is.

It’s also clear that he has grown up in a home where abuse was normalized, and that emotional damage might be affecting how he treats you now. That is not your fault, and it is not your job to tolerate mistreatment in the name of saving a marriage.

Your mother is right to encourage you to finish your M.Tech—not just for your career, but for your self-worth. You deserve to be with someone who lifts you up, not someone who pulls you down every time you try to grow.

If there's still a chance to salvage this relationship, it has to start with real conversations—honest, respectful, and possibly with the help of a counselor or neutral third party. But that only works if both people are willing to put in the emotional effort.

Right now, I suggest you protect your mental and emotional well-being. Prioritize your studies, build emotional support from friends or family who truly care about you, and give yourself space to heal from this emotional chaos. If your husband truly wants this marriage, he needs to come forward with maturity and respect—not demands.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 07, 2025
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After a fight between a married guy and my husband on pretext of calling me characterless and unhappy in my marriage. That married guy complaint against my hubby in society office that it's my husband who follow, flirts with his wife. But the allegations are false. That married guy was doing all these things or chasing me even after knowing m married. But falsely he shifted the blame on my husband. Society chairman called us to sign a peace treaty which my husband signed bt that guy dint appear to sign. What does he want is still not clear.??? He doesn't wanna end this matter or what ??? He still walks around looking at us but from distance.
Ans: In such cases, it's important for you and your husband to stay emotionally steady and not engage with his tactics. Reacting to him or showing you're disturbed by his behavior may be exactly what he's looking for. If his behavior escalates or continues to make you uncomfortable, you might want to quietly document what happens and consider involving local authorities or legal counsel if it crosses into harassment.

Right now, your focus should be on protecting your peace and your relationship. Keep communication open with your husband and support each other through this, because this kind of external stress can silently damage trust if not handled carefully. The more united you two are, the less space there is for anyone else to create confusion between you.

It’s unclear exactly what this man wants, but based on his pattern, it seems he either wants attention, control, or to destabilize your marriage out of resentment or personal failure. Either way, you don’t need to carry his emotional mess. If you continue to stay calm, ignore him, and document anything serious, you'll be in a stronger position to protect yourselves.

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