Workplace Anxiety: How Can I Deal With Blame Culture?

Hello, Kanchan. I earlier wrote to you earlier (link: surl.li/ncpnu) regarding my vulnerabilities - my being jobless since more than a year, financial hardships & toxic atmosphere at home, specifically my wife from being nagging to being nasty, never caring about what I go through at times. I do acknowledge and appreciate that she does most of the stuff- cooking, going to work & teaching our kid. But so do I- I play my part as much as I can while dealing with energy issues & depression- but that doesn't mean I don't do anything- I do all kinds of non-economic auxilliary work at homefront which does not go appreciated or acknowledged. I help her carry on with her job like dropping/picking her at work, and at home I do help her with chores, taking care of outdoor work, groceries, listening & empathising how her day at work went, etc. There are many balls we are juggling & I know for sure that we should not be handling one too many as we can't do justice to any of them or at worst we may miss the priorities! But we are helpless since there is no help at hand. I contemplated speaking to her but firstly, I never get enough time to discuss in the issues in pragmatic manner (she loses patience and cool very soon & not a very good critic of herself- something she accuses me of as well), and secondly even if time permits, never get a calm, relaxed atmosphere that would ensure non-judgemental attitude to tackle things head on. Such times it is difficult even to help her- I even mentioned this repeatedly to her that she's becoming like a cactus- that anyone even trying to help her is bound to get hurt & that's the reason people would rather prefer to keep a distance from her. I have been concerned about her BP rising due to her overwhelming insecurity, but all she says such times is the only solution would be when I find a good job, something which I have a very limited control over, given 1) my age factor which hampers learning; 2) gaps in my employable skills & 3) inability to deal with emotions while trying to deal with too many things at a time. I know that retorting back would not serve the purpose hence try to cool/balance things off & try to act calmly with her. If I mention inability due to my mental state, she just gets furious thinking that I am making excuses and doesn't empathise with me at all, even though she herself went through similar phases in recent months, but only difference is that she got an opportunity due to her goodwill easily while I continue to languish, engaged in self-defeating emotions and thoughts. As a result, my efforts are half-hearted, bearing no positive results and day by day, I lose motivation. Hesitate to seek any professional help due to some reasons: 1) it is costly & time consuming. 2) Me alone putting efforts in getting cured won't serve any purpose (it may relapse due to unsupportive environ at home) unless there's attitudinal shift with family members too. I don't know what to do, please help.

I'm a 41-year-old businessman. I live in Ahmedabad with my wife and two kids, aged 12 and 8. Whenever I come home from a trip, my wife starts blaming me for everything that happened during the week. I call her every day and all I get to hear is I am a bad husband and father. She expects me to be home by 7 every day. She knows I am a businessman and my work timings are never fixed. I travel for work and meetings so I make up once a week by spending time with the kids. She feels it's not enough. We have hired maids to help my wife but she never takes responsibility. She never appreciates my hard work or how I struggle to give them a good life. She is always been complaining about something. Is this emotional manipulation or just bad communication?