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Sunil
Sunil
Anu

Anu Krishna1160 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

Asked on - Jun 04, 2024Hindi

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Relationship
Hi Madam, I am married (arrange marriage) for 10 years with a son of 8 years, I am middle class person and giving Home loan EMI also, because of which no money is saved. My problem is that my wife always demands money and fights for it. She is all aware of my income and expenditures of every month (I have prepared a list and shares with her). I have no habits of alcohol or smoking, but she always fights with me that I spends money on my bad habits and on friends. She always say that you don't take me outside , don't spend on me and blah blah...(I do take her to movies and wherever she wants to go with me or with her friends). She is very short tempered that I avoids talking to her but she finds a chance for fight. For her demands, I left my parental flat and mother and lived with her in a rented house for 5 years and now purchased an independent home also. But, I am fed up of her demands and fights. She even fights when our son is around and even comes near my body as if she wants to hurt me....(although we never had a physical fight). I am very afraid. For your information, she also works as a teacher in a private nursery school (pays half of our home loan EMI) and she is from village background. My father expired long back and mother is living with my younger brother. I even don't meet my close friends frequently (once or twice in a month) because of her fear, as when I meet them she fights on this issue also. I want peace in my life. Kindly help.
Ans: Dear Sunil,
This needs a bit more of finding out what exactly is going on? What is the root cause of anger and the blame game with your wife?
Whatever I suggest will just be a BAND-AID solution and things will flare up yet again. There is deep-seated anger and insecurities rising (from what I understand from you.
The only thing I can say is; spend time with her on an emotional level and maybe this will ease her emotional highs and lows. But, I do feel it is time to have an intervention where as a Couple you are given to tools to work on your relationship.
Do see an expert who specializes in marriage therapy/counseling. They will be able to guide you in a very structured fashion as to how to re-start and re-build your marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
Asked on - Jun 06, 2024 | Answered on Jun 06, 2024
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Thanks for your suggestions, My reply for your suggestions are as follows: 1. Spend time with her on emotional level: I would like to inform you that except my office hours, I am only with her. At home or outside, she is always with me (she has separate vehicle, but waits for me to come from office to do daily home chores, like bringing veggies, grocery etc. As per her these are my duties). She likes to go for Movies, Natak, Shopping, I takes her for those things as per my pocket capabilities, even I never stopped her from meeting her friends or meeting her parents. She likes my company when I do things as per her demands, but she is so short tempered that even at my simple mistakes she fights vigorously. Earlier, she used to fight with my mother also (who is a cancer patient and not in a good health-my father expired 10 years back). That's why, I left my parental flat. Spending time with her is not a solution as when we spends time together as per her likes she behaves very good, but she comes to her original avatar in no time if her demands are not being met. 2. See an expert who specializes in marriage therapy/counselling: As I informed you, I am already burdened with my Home loan and other expenditures and can't afford to pay a therapist as they charge very high and moreover she will never be agree to come to a marriage therapist (this may even come as a new issue for her to fight and she can make allegations that I want to break marriage and I don't have trust on her etc.... etc.....). Only one thing coming in my mind is that to call her parents and take a meeting along with my mother and elder relatives and explain her behaviour to her parents and relatives, if that doesn't work, my close friend, who is a lawyer had already advised to give her a Notice-but that will be my final wayout. Kindly suggest what is better.
Ans: Dear Sunil,
You seem to have already given up.
I cannot tell you what to do or not but only make suggestions that can guide you. It is up to you to decide if you wish to take those suggestions and make an attempt OR go as per what you have decided.
If you are looking at me agreeing with your decisions that damage relationships, it is not on ethical terms here.
So, if you are willing to see a therapist who can fit your budget, I will still say, do that. Else involve a senior family member who can mediate between you and your wife.
If you have decided that all this will not work, then it won't...The choice is yours...

To break relationships, takes a second...to build it all over again can take a lifetime....

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan6302 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 14, 2024

Asked on - May 14, 2024Hindi

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Money
Hello Sir, I am a private sector employee, aged 43 years, my monthly take home is 70k. I am new to share market and mutual funds. I have been investing in RD, FD and now want to invest in SIP, Mutual Funds and share market with a target of good returns in of next 5 years. I am planning as following: 1. Invest monthly 10k in SIP for 5 years, withdrawal after 10 years. Aiming for 25-30% returns. 2. Invest 2/3 lacks in MF, withdrawal after 5 years. Aiming for 25-30% returns. 3. Start trade with 5/10k and step by step invest 50k to 1 lac in next 6 months. I am positive that i will receive your guidance on above points with best options. Thanking you in advance.
Ans: I understand you're excited to explore new investment avenues beyond RDs and FDs. That's a great first step towards securing your financial future! Let's delve into your plan and discuss some key points to consider:

1. SIP for Long-Term Goals (10 Years +):

Thumbs Up! SIP (Systematic Investment Plan) is a fantastic way to invest in Mutual Funds regularly. It inculcates discipline and benefits from rupee-cost averaging, which helps you purchase more units when the market is low and fewer units when it's high.

Setting Expectations: A 25-30% return expectation over 5 years is quite aggressive for Mutual Funds. Historically, actively managed Equity Mutual Funds (diversified across sectors) have delivered average returns in the range of 12-15% p.a. Remember, past performance isn't a guarantee of future results, but it gives you a realistic idea.

Time is Your Friend: Extending your investment horizon to 10 years increases your chances of achieving better returns. The longer you stay invested, the more you benefit from compounding (earning returns on your returns).

2. Lump Sum Investment (2/3 Lakhs):

Good Thinking! A lump sum investment can potentially magnify your returns if the market performs well. However, keep in mind that it's a one-time shot.

Diversification is Key: Consider investing this amount in a diversified Equity Mutual Fund that spreads your investment across various sectors. This helps mitigate risk if a particular sector underperforms.

Stay Invested: The 5-year timeframe might be short for aggressive return expectations. Similar to SIPs, a longer investment horizon like 10 years can be more suitable for potentially achieving your goals.

3. Stock Market Trading:

Caution Advised: The stock market can be volatile, and success requires in-depth knowledge, experience, and discipline. Starting small and learning the ropes before risking a significant amount is advisable.

Consider Mutual Funds: Actively managed Equity Mutual Funds are helmed by experienced professionals who research, analyze, and invest your money in a basket of stocks. This approach can help you benefit from the market's growth without the risks associated with direct stock selection.

Building Knowledge: If you're keen on understanding the stock market, there are many online resources and courses available. However, remember that success in the stock market isn't guaranteed.

Here's a Recap and Next Steps:

SIP for Long-Term: Regular SIPs in diversified Equity Mutual Funds are a great way to build wealth over the long term (10 years or more).

Lump Sum Investment: Invest a lump sum in a diversified Equity Mutual Fund for potentially higher returns, but with a longer time horizon (ideally 10 years or more).

Start with Mutual Funds: Consider Equity Mutual Funds as an alternative to direct stock market trading, especially if you're new to investing.

Seek Professional Guidance: A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can help you create a personalized investment plan aligned with your risk tolerance and financial goals. They can also guide you on selecting suitable Mutual Funds based on your investment needs.

Remember, investing is a marathon, not a sprint. Patience, discipline, and a well-diversified approach are key to achieving your financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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