Overthinking at 21: Is It Normal and How Can I Stop?

Ans: Dear Tapash,
Overthinking happens when you try and control the result of anything/situation. These can be from a past event or a future happening both of which are not in your control.

The simple ways to move away from overthinking are:
1. Be in the NOW; start by paying attention to what you do...even if you are brushing your teeth, observe how you are doing it, how you drink of a cup of tea/coffee, how you travel to work
2. Focus on your breath; simply observe how your breath falls and rises
3. Spend time at parks and green places; you will find yourself calming down
4. Journal; every night before you sleep, write about your day - all good and not so good
5. Express gratitude; simply being thankful can change the patterns of thinking and help you calm down

Do this everyday for a month to notice a change that you will be happy about.
If you still find that things can better, seek professional help someone who has dealt with anxiety cases. But. the one month remedy does work wonders and continue even after that month to sustain the changes...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I will address this question in 3 parts
Part I
What causes overthinking?
- Any unpleasant event from the past or any expectation of an unpleasant event in the future happening causes anxiety/panic.
- To recover from the past experience or prevent a future occurrence goes into a mode of self-preservation whereby your thoughts LOOP one into another: If this happens, then that can happen and if that happened, what more can happen!
This is OVERTHINKING....predicating without adequate proof and projecting one situation into another.
This is our of your control OR locus of control...
Still why do you do it?
Because you want to move away from the pain a past event caused or a future event might cause. Who wants pain, right?

Part II
How much do I believe Overthinking?
NEVER!
Of course, the past event might recur, but you also know how to deal with it because you have already experienced it.
Of course, a future event might happen, but isn't it better to live in peace for NOW and actually think: I will cross the bridge when it comes
So doubt your thoughts that cause you to overthink

Part III
What can I do to change this habit?
Since you are aware as to the harm it causes you like headaches and restlessness, you know that this has to stop.
So, try this:
1. When you start to LOOP, doubt your thoughts and ask: Is this really true?
2. Journal about certain unpleasant experiences from the past
3. Remind yourself that you know what to do in any situation
4. Break into a dance or go for a run as this helps displace the feelings from your body
5. Surround yourself with people that are happy and positive
6. Leave the past behind and Let the future happen when it must
7. Practise breathing exercise that help you calm

Lastly and most importantly, tell yourself: I am more powerful than my fears and I have the means to work on them.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What exactly do you get by punishing yourself? It's another way to indulge in self-pity which will only keep you in the problem zone for longer.
Instead pay attention to the reasons towards laziness and procrastination.
Ask:
- Do I display laziness with every activity or a few or one specific one?
- If Yes, which is it?
- What about that activity/situation makes me want to procrastinate and not take action on it?
- If I actually make a plan and act on that activity/situation, how will things change for me?

This will give you an idea as to what exactly happens in the mind to avoid something and what you can do about it. We are never motivated to do anything if we don not get something concrete back in return. So, define the reward clearly...
And as far as negative things go, if you choose to focus on it, obviously it will grow bigger in the mind.

Keep the above questions list with you and check at regular intervals when faced with procrastination. Have a social circle of friends who can pull you up when you are down BUT they will not be kind all the time if you are going to indulge into self-pity. So, the decision to get better, to become more positive and actually do something big in life is a decision. Focus on how much your life will change for the better when you do this and it will be a clean and quick switchover.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Hello mam..i hope you are in the best spirits of your health. Mam, overthinking is a very common thing these days and it really affects one's life. As you said that you are having this habit of overthinking and it is affecting your life and your relationships too. There are lot of ups and downs in any relationship, and overthinking worsens it. Here are some tips that you can follow for overthinking.

01. Acceptance: Accept and label that you are overthinking and say it loud. Then give yourself a 5 min timeline to overthink. That's all. After that no overthinking. Soon your mind will get trained.

02. Practice Mindfulness: Ask your mind to comeback in present the very moment you feel that you are overthinking. Shift your focus on practical things like your phone charging, changing tv channel, doing hobby or activity which interests you.

03. Journaling: Shift your thoughts on a paper. It really helps to de-fog your mind and then thinking will be more logical and clear.

04. Box breathing - On the count of 4 inhale, on the count for 4 hold your breath and on the count of 4 exhale.

Don't take everything to your heart. Have confidence in yourself. Don't think that you have done anything wrong. Overthinking can happen to anyone but important is how to control that.

I hope this helps you. Have a great day..Thank you !