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Overthinking at 21: Is It Normal and How Can I Stop?

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |121 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Archana Deshpande, the founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching, is an image consultant, soft skills trainer and life coach.
She has been working with individuals and corporate organisations for more than 10 years during which she has helped professionals and students improve their soft skills, build confidence and enhance self-esteem.
An engineer from the PDA College of Engineering, Gulbarga, Archana had a successful career at Reliance Communications. But she has always been interested in teaching and training people. So she pursued a postgraduate diploma in teacher’s training at Pune’s Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies followed by teaching assignments in schools at Visakhapatnam and Mumbai.
Archana also holds an international certificate in image consulting and soft skills training from the Image Consulting Business Institute, Mumbai.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi
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Career

I am 21. I am a chronic overthinker. I am always thinking about what other people think about me or overanalysing situations and making things complicated. Is this a serious problem? What should I do?

Ans: Dear overthinker,

Thinking is a good trait to have, overthinking is not.

You literally have to STOP overthinking!!!

One way to overcome this is to stop thinking and become more action oriented. STOP analyzing everything in the head, put it on paper, there is something calming about putting thoughts on paper, writing them down with a pen and paper.
And then taking actions based on what you have written and no more thinking about it.

Indulge in physical activity, play a game which is more action oriented , this teaches you to be fully present in the moment, which helps you in being in the moment. Being fully present in the moment is what gets you out of overthinking.
Do meditate , I really can't enumerate all the benefits of meditation, what meditation does to people is beyond words.

There is a book called as, STOP OVERTHINKING by Nick Trenton, this book offers practical advice and exercises to help you break free from negative thoughts and worries. It provides evidence-based methods to combat overthinking and anxiety.

Another amazing book by Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of NOW", can help you.

There is no problem which can't be overcome, believe in yourself, you are more powerful than you think, the body and mind have to listen to you!!
What you think so you become, feed yourself the right thoughts and let the magic unfold.!!

All the best!!
Career

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Anu, I am an overthinker and an extremely anxious person. In fact I am so fearful of taking the next step in my life or my career that sometimes I get headaches, and feel restless in bed simply wondering if my action or decision will backfire. Is this normal? Or is it something I should be worried about? Can it be treated? What can I do to improve? Can you please help?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I will address this question in 3 parts
Part I
What causes overthinking?
- Any unpleasant event from the past or any expectation of an unpleasant event in the future happening causes anxiety/panic.
- To recover from the past experience or prevent a future occurrence goes into a mode of self-preservation whereby your thoughts LOOP one into another: If this happens, then that can happen and if that happened, what more can happen!
This is OVERTHINKING....predicating without adequate proof and projecting one situation into another.
This is our of your control OR locus of control...
Still why do you do it?
Because you want to move away from the pain a past event caused or a future event might cause. Who wants pain, right?

Part II
How much do I believe Overthinking?
NEVER!
Of course, the past event might recur, but you also know how to deal with it because you have already experienced it.
Of course, a future event might happen, but isn't it better to live in peace for NOW and actually think: I will cross the bridge when it comes
So doubt your thoughts that cause you to overthink

Part III
What can I do to change this habit?
Since you are aware as to the harm it causes you like headaches and restlessness, you know that this has to stop.
So, try this:
1. When you start to LOOP, doubt your thoughts and ask: Is this really true?
2. Journal about certain unpleasant experiences from the past
3. Remind yourself that you know what to do in any situation
4. Break into a dance or go for a run as this helps displace the feelings from your body
5. Surround yourself with people that are happy and positive
6. Leave the past behind and Let the future happen when it must
7. Practise breathing exercise that help you calm

Lastly and most importantly, tell yourself: I am more powerful than my fears and I have the means to work on them.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1796 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 09, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi mam. I kind of need mental fitness advice. I am 26 years old female. I am afraid a lot in taking up the decisions in my life due to overthinking. But it is not same when it comes to my work side. Always taking up the negative things from my surroundings and expressing the same. Sometimes i make negative situations in my mind and cry. Is there a way to change my mindset to overcome my overthinking as well as my negative mindset. Pls give me some tips to overcome laziness as well as procastination. Is there any yoga or medidation to cure this one. Because i really hate myself for this.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
What exactly do you get by punishing yourself? It's another way to indulge in self-pity which will only keep you in the problem zone for longer.
Instead pay attention to the reasons towards laziness and procrastination.
Ask:
- Do I display laziness with every activity or a few or one specific one?
- If Yes, which is it?
- What about that activity/situation makes me want to procrastinate and not take action on it?
- If I actually make a plan and act on that activity/situation, how will things change for me?

This will give you an idea as to what exactly happens in the mind to avoid something and what you can do about it. We are never motivated to do anything if we don not get something concrete back in return. So, define the reward clearly...
And as far as negative things go, if you choose to focus on it, obviously it will grow bigger in the mind.

Keep the above questions list with you and check at regular intervals when faced with procrastination. Have a social circle of friends who can pull you up when you are down BUT they will not be kind all the time if you are going to indulge into self-pity. So, the decision to get better, to become more positive and actually do something big in life is a decision. Focus on how much your life will change for the better when you do this and it will be a clean and quick switchover.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |83 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on May 07, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 24, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I’ve noticed that I tend to overthink almost everything my partner says or does, even when it’s something small. For example, if their tone sounds slightly different on a call or if they reply late to a message, I immediately start wondering if something is wrong or if I’ve upset them. Even a short or casual reply makes me replay the conversation again and again in my head, trying to find hidden meanings. Because of this, I sometimes end up feeling anxious or upset without any clear reason, and later I realize I might have overreacted. It’s becoming mentally exhausting and also affecting how I behave with my partner. I don’t want to keep doubting or overanalyzing every little thing, but I’m finding it hard to stop this pattern. How do I control this habit of overthinking and learn to take things more normally in a relationship?
Ans: Hello mam..i hope you are in the best spirits of your health. Mam, overthinking is a very common thing these days and it really affects one's life. As you said that you are having this habit of overthinking and it is affecting your life and your relationships too. There are lot of ups and downs in any relationship, and overthinking worsens it. Here are some tips that you can follow for overthinking.

01. Acceptance: Accept and label that you are overthinking and say it loud. Then give yourself a 5 min timeline to overthink. That's all. After that no overthinking. Soon your mind will get trained.

02. Practice Mindfulness: Ask your mind to comeback in present the very moment you feel that you are overthinking. Shift your focus on practical things like your phone charging, changing tv channel, doing hobby or activity which interests you.

03. Journaling: Shift your thoughts on a paper. It really helps to de-fog your mind and then thinking will be more logical and clear.

04. Box breathing - On the count of 4 inhale, on the count for 4 hold your breath and on the count of 4 exhale.

Don't take everything to your heart. Have confidence in yourself. Don't think that you have done anything wrong. Overthinking can happen to anyone but important is how to control that.

I hope this helps you. Have a great day..Thank you !

..Read more

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |3063 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on May 24, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - May 23, 2026Hindi
Career
Can u rank smvit, rnsit , dr ambedkar instute of tech, dsce, rv institute, dsu, dsuat, bnmit
Ans: HI,
GREETINGS FROM REDIFFGURUS!
When ranking colleges, consider the following factors:

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2. Course-wise
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7. Lab facilities-wise

Among these, which criteria should you prioritize? Be careful not to compare too many colleges; it may lead to confusion and could prevent you from joining a course.

**How to Choose a Program**

Your selection should be based on your future career goals. Make your decision independently, rather than relying on friends' advice. Once you've selected a program, remember that since all the colleges are private, they may claim 100% placement. Therefore, don't focus solely on placement statistics. Because all these institutes belong to the same university, there shouldn't be issues with the curriculum.

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ALL THE BEST

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |3063 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on May 23, 2026

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Sir my daughter has rank in vir 49558 and jee mains rank 182200 crl and ews rank is 28200 what do I get in both
Ans: HI AJIT,
GREETINGS FROM REDIIFFGURUS!
Regarding your rank in the VITEEE, with a rank of 49,558, your admission chances for top-tier Computer Science programs at Vellore and Chennai are highly competitive. However, you do have excellent opportunities in core branches such as Civil, Mechanical, Biotech, and Chemical Engineering in categories 1 and 2 at both Vellore and Chennai campuses, as well as Computer Science Specializations at the Bhopal and Andhra Pradesh campuses.
For JEE, securing a seat for Computer Science Engineering (CSE) or Electronics at NITs and IIITs will be challenging based on your rank. Nevertheless, you have strong opportunities for less competitive branches in newer or North Eastern NITs, newer IIITs, and Government Funded Technical Institutions (GFTIs).

Here are some possibilities for you:

1. NITs:
- NIT Agartala: Production Engineering, Bio-Technology, or Chemical Engineering.
- NIT Mizoram/NIT Nagaland/NIT Arunachal Pradesh: Mechanical Engineering, Civil Engineering, or Electrical Engineering.
- NIT Srinagar: Metallurgical and Materials Engineering, Chemical Engineering.
- NIT Raipur/NIT Jalandhar: Bio-Technology or Industrial & Production Engineering (possible in CSAB special rounds).

2. Indian Institutes of Information Technology (IIITs):
- Target newer public-private partnership (PPP) model IIITs, particularly for Smart Manufacturing or specialized tech branches.
- IIITDM Jabalpur: Smart Manufacturing.
- IIIT Bhagalpur: Mechatronics Engineering.
- IIIT Manipur: Computer Science Engineering or Electronics & Communication Engineering (highly likely in CSAB special rounds).
- IIIT Kurnool: Mechanical Engineering (with specialization in Design and Manufacturing).

3. Government Funded Technical Institutions (GFTIs):
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- Assam University, Silchar: Agricultural Engineering or Computer Science Engineering.
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- Mizoram University, Aizawl: Information Technology or Computer Engineering.
- Ghanshyam Singh Lodhi Institute (SLIET), Longowal: Chemical Engineering or Mechanical Engineering.
- Central University of Jammu/Central University of Rajasthan: Biomedical Engineering or computer-related fields in later spot rounds.

The choice is yours. If you are looking for CSE, consider opting for NE-NITs or GFTIs. Plan, participate, and seize the opportunities for your future career.

All the best!

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