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Worried mom asks: How to make my 12.5-year-old son take his studies and other activities seriously?

Archana

Archana Deshpande  |117 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Mar 04, 2025

Archana Deshpande, the founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching, is an image consultant, soft skills trainer and life coach.
She has been working with individuals and corporate organisations for more than 10 years during which she has helped professionals and students improve their soft skills, build confidence and enhance self-esteem.
An engineer from the PDA College of Engineering, Gulbarga, Archana had a successful career at Reliance Communications. But she has always been interested in teaching and training people. So she pursued a postgraduate diploma in teacher’s training at Pune’s Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies followed by teaching assignments in schools at Visakhapatnam and Mumbai.
Archana also holds an international certificate in image consulting and soft skills training from the Image Consulting Business Institute, Mumbai.... more
Sunil Question by Sunil on Sep 10, 2024Hindi
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Career

Hi Mam, Hope you are doing well. I am very worried about my son who is now 12.5 years old and studying in 7th standard in a very reputed school. Since childhood, he has no interest in studies, unless we doesn't seat in front of him, he doesn't study. Every teacher from his kindergarten days upto now has the same complaint that he is doesn't pay attention in class and the result is he doesn't get good marks in the exam. When we scold him for studies, he does it for that particular time only and then get back to his non-interest mode again and start to run from studies. He will play video games, goes to play around with his friends, he will find some or the other reason for not doing studies or homework. The irony is that he is not interested in any sports or any other kind of activities. In every summer holidays, we make him to join some sports or music classes, but there also he doesn't show interest and do things just for the sake of showing. From last year, we have started sending him to tuitions also, but no change in attitude. This year we have found a teacher of his reputed school who is retired and taking tuitions, we are sending him to her and she is charging a big amount for tuitions. please guide how can we change his attitude and make him more serious in any activity he does as he doesn't have interest in anything (we have observed doing everything we can).

Ans: Hello Sunil!!

I am doing great, thank you for asking, God bless you!

I can totally understand when you say you are worried.

Your son is 12.5, he will soon be a teenager. There will be different challenges, I want you to read up on parenting a teenager and be ready to handle him well.

The problem as I see it is that everyone of you, his teachers included have made studies like a burden for him.... and subjected the young child to a lot of anxiety, he just wants to run away form it....
"Every teacher from his kindergarten days upto now has the same complaint that he is doesn't pay attention in class".... this statement of yours... it is the teacher's duty to ensure the child listens to him/her, how can she start labeling a child like this. From a young age your son has been conditioned to believe that he is not not good in studies, he doesn't focus and he doesn't sit in one place. All my sympathies are with your son...every child comes with immense potential and it's our duty as parents and teachers to nurture the child.

The following is what I propose so that we bring him back to loving to learn ( not score marks, that should never be the barometer)-
1. Love your child the way he is now
2. Give him lot of positive strokes
3. Have one on one sessions for any activity you plan for him... let him choose the activity, empower him
4. choose a teacher, who can get along with him and help him develop a positive attitude towards studies and life in general
5. look for a school where they nurture him... not just a reputed one...less number of students and a teacher who is invested in her/ his students,

If you can connect with me, I can help him. Have had many a students in this kind situation.
This is my website..
https://transformme.co.in/

Loads of best wishes to the whole family..
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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

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Hello Sir, My Son 14 years old studing in 9th Standard has not pay attention in studing, He is sleeping & lazy in all the Periods of School classroom.His body language is very idle & he has very Lazy guy. this is may due to he not eating healty food like, dryfruits, vegetable (eathing Junk Food) instead our so many attempt to do so. Myself & wife do all the attempt to improve him but we are failed in all the attempt. his school marks are only 30 to 40% & we are very much scare that he is going to failed in 9th standared. he also not listing to Teachers & our Advice but only ignore & sometimes arrogant in the argument. we have changes so many classes & private tution to improve in studey & behavour, but all attempts did not work. his only interest in Cricket, watching TV & Mobile. Request to need your valuable advice & tips to make changes in my son.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear that your son is struggling in school. It's great that you and your wife are trying to help him. Here are some tips that may help:

1. Encourage healthy habits: Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly can help improve focus and concentration.

2. Create a study-friendly environment: Make sure your son has a quiet, well-lit space to study. Remove any distractions, such as TV or mobile phones, during study time.

3. Set goals: Work with your son to set achievable goals for his studies. Break down larger goals into smaller, more manageable tasks.

4. Reward progress: Celebrate your son's successes, no matter how small. Rewards can be as simple as a favorite meal or activity.

5. Encourage active learning: Encourage your son to take an active role in his learning. This can include asking questions, taking notes, and summarizing what he's learned.

6. Get support: Consider enlisting the help of a tutor or academic coach. They can provide additional support and guidance to help your son succeed.

Remember, every child learns differently, so it may take some time to find what works best for your son. Be patient and supportive, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if needed.

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My son has got B.Tech core CSE in both VIT vellore (category 5) and PES university, Electronic City campus. We are based in Bangalore. Please suggest which is a better option?
Ans: VIT Vellore offers a well-established Computer Science and Engineering program with a broad campus, strong infrastructure, and consistent placement rates around 60-65%. The average package is approximately ?9.9 LPA, with top recruiters like Microsoft, Amazon, and Apple, reflecting its robust industry connections and global brand recognition. PES University, located in Bangalore’s Electronic City, benefits from proximity to major IT hubs and offers a competitive Computer Science program with a median placement package around ?8 to ?9 LPA and placement rates near 70-80%. PES has a modern campus, reputed faculty, and strong industry collaborations, especially valuable for local internships and networking opportunities.

Recommendation: Prioritize PES University for its Bangalore location, closer industry links, and higher placement rate, which favor practical exposure and career networking. Choose VIT Vellore for its brand prestige, larger campus, and internationally recognized curriculum. Your decision should balance local engagement advantages at PES with the extensive reputation and infrastructure strengths of VIT. This alignment will optimize your son's academic and career trajectory based on his personal preferences and future goals. My suggestion: Based on location & fees, prefer PES-EC-CSE. However, he should consistently maintain a strong CGPA and continuously enhance his skills through his fourth year to remain competitive with CSE peers both at the Electronic City campus and the RR (Banashankari) campus of PES for Campus Placement. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Sir I'm confused between Pillai New Panvel and Sies for electronics and computer science course that which is better actually I am interested in cs it but I don't have great percentage i have scored 87 in diploma so for dse which college should I prefer according to placement?
Ans: Sanjana, Pillai College of Engineering (PCE) New Panvel offers a robust Electronics & Computer Science program with specialized tracks in AI, ML, IoT, Robotics, and Cloud Computing. It has commendable infrastructure, a research focus, and around 70–80% placement rates, with median packages near ?4.4 LPA and top recruiters including Reliance and Capgemini. The curriculum integrates both electronics and computing fundamentals, preparing students for diverse tech roles. SIES Graduate School of Technology, Mumbai provides a similarly comprehensive Electronics and Computer Science course with strong infrastructure but a smaller intake. It reports a higher placement rate around 90%, average packages near ?8 LPA, and recruiters like TCS, Infosys, and Reliance. While SIES offers a slightly better placement performance and higher average packages, PCE balances good placement statistics with a broader specialization and research opportunities. Both colleges maintain qualified faculty and industry ties, but SIES's higher placement record may better suit students aiming for IT-centric careers.

Recommendation: Prefer SIES Graduate School of Technology for Electronics and Computer Science for stronger placement outcomes and average packages aligned with IT career goals. Consider Pillai College of Engineering for its diverse technical specializations and solid placements if broader tech exposure and research are priorities. Align the choice with your career focus between IT-intensive roles (SIES) and combined electronics-computer science expertise (PCE). All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Asked by Anonymous - Aug 11, 2025Hindi
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Should I consider AMITY University noida for btech CSE ? How are placements there ?
Ans: Amity University Noida offers a well-structured B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) program accredited with an 'A+' grade by NAAC and recognized by UGC, AICTE, and international bodies. The campus boasts world-class infrastructure including high-tech labs, air-conditioned classrooms, extensive libraries, on-campus hostels, sports complexes, and medical facilities. Faculty members are qualified with many holding advanced degrees and some international exposure. Placements for CSE students show decent success with approximately 70-75% of students placed recently, attracting top recruiters like Microsoft, IBM, Accenture, and Amazon. The highest packages can reach up to 36 LPA, with average package ranges around 6-7 LPA. The university has strong industry tie-ups and hosts numerous internship opportunities, supported by corporate resource centers and innovation incubators fostering entrepreneurship. Its global collaborations enhance student exposure, providing a good blend of academics, practical learning, and career support for a comprehensive engineering education.

Recommendation: Amity University Noida is a credible choice for B.Tech CSE with strong infrastructure, qualified faculty, and active placement support. It suits students aiming for solid industry exposure and campus recruitment in reputed IT companies while benefiting from an expansive campus and diverse academic resources aligned with current industry demands. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

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Kiit cse or muj cse
Ans: KIIT School of Computer Engineering in Bhubaneswar is a highly reputed private institute with robust placements, offering around 90% placement rate and an average package near INR 8.5 LPA in 2023. It attracts over 3800 job offers annually from top recruiters like Microsoft, TCS, and Reliance, supported by strong academic infrastructure, experienced faculty, and active research and innovation culture. Manipal University Jaipur’s CSE program also delivers strong placement outcomes with about 93% placement rate and an average package of INR 9 LPA in 2023, hosting recruiters like Amazon, Deloitte, and KPMG. It benefits from a modern campus, specialized electives in emerging tech areas, and good industry collaborations. KIIT has a higher NIRF ranking and larger placement scale, but MUJ boasts a slightly higher average package and lower fee structure with the advantage of Jaipur location.

Recommendation: Prefer KIIT CSE if campus prestige, higher placement volume, and broader alumni network are priorities, alongside quality academic resources and top-tier recruitment. Choose MUJ CSE for a strong placement environment with slightly better average packages, affordable fees, and a preferred location in Jaipur. Align the choice with your location preference, fee affordability, and career aspirations for an optimal balance of reputation and return on investment. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Which is better....Maths & Computing at NIT Surat or Maths & Computing at IIITM Gwalior?
Ans: Mathematics and Computing at NIT Surat (SVNIT) is offered as a 4-year undergraduate program with a total tuition fee of around ?5 lakh and an average placement package of ?10.54 lakh. SVNIT Surat is a well-established public government institute with over 100 qualified faculty members, many holding PhDs, and offers strong industry connections and a rigorous curriculum blending mathematics and computing fundamentals. IIITM Gwalior offers a similar 4-year B.Tech in Mathematics and Scientific Computing with a slightly higher fee of ?6.32 lakh and a cohort of 30–60 students. It is a deemed university with a NAAC A grade and ranked 101-150 by NIRF for engineering. Its faculty is highly qualified with PhDs from reputed institutes, focusing on practical knowledge and research. Placement packages at IIITM Gwalior can be high, with reports of up to ?65 lakh for top placements, and the institute encourages a research-oriented environment.

Recommendation: Choose NIT Surat for its strong government backing, comprehensive curriculum, and established alumni network, offering consistent academic and placement support in Mathematics and Computing. Opt for IIITM Gwalior if you prefer a research-intensive environment with potential for very high top-end placements, valuing a smaller, focused university setting. The decision should align with preference for established public institute stability versus emerging research-led autonomy. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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