My 17-Year-Old Son Is Uninterested in Studies, Quarrels & Threatens Violence - What Can I Do?

Ans: Most of the time when they have screen addiction,it's difficult for them to develop intrest in the alternative skills or studies. This can be due to less attention skills due to screen time. See what is he interested in apart from the screen addiction, help him develop hobbies which are of his interest and it can be sports too. This will help him to focus better on his studies too.

Ans: Dear Nafees,
Well, your son is at an age where his focus is getting validation from girls. And he's just doing that...
Is there a father figure or some male member within the family who can take on the role of stepping in as your husband is away? This person can help guide your son back where he starts to focus on academics and understanding that social circles are just part of his life and right now the focus must be on his studies...if he still does not change, kindly call your husband back for a few weeks to take care of the situation...the boy needs his father/father figure who can be firm with him and yet appeal to him at this juncture of life.
It does not mean that as a mother you can't do this...It's just that he isn't responding to you and that's why I am making an alternate suggestion...Make this attempt and see what happens...

All the best!

Ans: Dear Revathi,

You are doing so much my dear...take a break from everything for an hour everyday and focus on your well being and peace of mind. 20-20-20 rule for you, meditate for 20 mins, physical activity for 20 mins and connecting with nature for 20 mins( these are your mini breaks).
If you can add 10 mins of an activity which makes your heart joyful then 'sone pe suhaga'!! Self-care comes first, a happy and joyful mother, wife , daughter-in-law is great to have around the house. You are doing so much don't you think you deserve 1 hr for yourself? Without thinking too much , just go ahead and schedule self-care in your time table.

Now let's solve your son's issue...since childhood you have taught him how to do things, he is grown up enough to do things on his own. Until and unless you allow him to do things on his own, how will he learn to do?
DO NOT CHASE...DO NOT CRITICIZE....DO NOT NAG, tell him what to do once and wait for him to do. If he does it fantastic, else let him face the consequences. Every action has to have consequences.. for eg, not studying will lead to less marks, it's his failure, not yours, let him take ownership of his actions, you are preparing him for life, let him falter now and learn to get up. Be there for him when he falls, your job as a mom is to ensure he is healthy...emotionally and physically. (Keep the atmosphere at home happy because you have another son too, he is younger and needs your attention too)
It is his 10th Std, not yours. Keep telling the importance of studies and scoring well and the need to study consistently( again no nagging). He is grown up now, take him to a place without distractions and have heart to heart conversations as a mom and son. Conflicts are neither good for him nor to you/the entire home.
Trust me, parenting is not an easy job, you have to raise yourself, before you raise a child. It is not an easy world for your son too.....raging hormones, conflicting world, conflicting views....the world at the click of a button, you be his rock solid supporter and cheer leader, be there for your sons, create a loving and caring home, where they feel secure and happy. A mother knows best, trust your instinct( the mother's instinct), believe in yourself and your children!!

Wishing the very best to all of you.. and happy parenting!!