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How to deal with a jealous classmate who threatens me?

Archana Deshpande |95 Answers |Ask -Follow

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Archana Deshpande, the founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching, is an image consultant, soft skills trainer and life coach.
She has been working with individuals and corporate organisations for more than 10 years during which she has helped professionals and students improve their soft skills, build confidence and enhance self-esteem.
An engineer from the PDA College of Engineering, Gulbarga, Archana had a successful career at Reliance Communications. But she has always been interested in teaching and training people. So she pursued a postgraduate diploma in teacher’s training at Pune’s Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies followed by teaching assignments in schools at Visakhapatnam and Mumbai.
Archana also holds an international certificate in image consulting and soft skills training from the Image Consulting Business Institute, Mumbai.... more

Question by MADHURRYA on Oct 11, 2024Hindi

I was the first boy in my school before the covid 19 started. But due to lockdown, our school took Online Exams and everyone gave their exams sitting at their home. I am vey honest in life so I didn't cheat like the three boys who repeatedly claimed the top three positions for the last three years. But now, one boy has slipped off from the top 10 positions due to extreme poor in study. But two boys still comes 1st and 2nd respectively. I was back few positions during covid and now I came Fifth this time. One boy named (---) who used to come second, came third this time, is very rude and jealous of my success and literally threatens me. From then, I decided to cross him from his place and show them who I was and I am. I have been trying my best at my studies to be at a better position this time. So, I request for more suggestions from you to improve myself and be better this time. Thank You.

Ans: Dear Madhurrya!!

You have a nice and unique name.. it sounds so good!! I like that fact that you are honest, it's a strength, let this not change because of cheating students. Good people don't change because of bad people. All the best on staying honest always , remember it is your strength.

Coming to your question..it's nice to have ppl competing with others and upping their game. If it is a respectful way, then go ahead and compete and become better, just like Rafal Nadal and Roger Federer, they became good at what they were doing by competing with each other.
Forget about that boy who threatens you...don't give him any space in your head, stay away from him and be strong enough to defend yourself when he tries to harm you, take help of elders if he physically harms you. Don't get into any verbal duels, he is not worth your time and attention. BE SAFE.

Let's now look into you getting better marks and upping your score..
1. discipline and consistency is what will help you score well
2. the power to score better lies in not just regular studies but in your revision. After you study a chapter, revise it within 10 mins , once in 24 hrs and then after 07 days. This way the learning gets absorbed completely.. try it out, maintain a diary for to plan every chapter's revision .. let me explain.. supposing you study chapter 09 in Science, then you revise the concepts for 10 mins after you finish studying it. Revise it the next day( 24 hrs).. and then mark in the diary to revise it after 07 days, revise it on that day. Your retention and reproducing the learning goes up by 80%.
3. Get enough sleep, eat good balanced diet, get 20 mins of physical activity and meditate for 10 mins. The simplest meditation is to sit in a quiet place, relax, close your eyes and observe your breath going in and out. Don't fret if you lose focus, just get back to observing the breath.
4. you keep working on your studies and yourself. You focus on becoming better, forget about all else and do not compare yourself with anyone.

All the very best!!

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Question by AM - Jun 24, 2022Hindi

Hi Anu ma'am, I'm a class 12th JEE aspirant. Right now my life is actually seeming to be over. I have my board exams going on and JEE mains on head. The exams are not a problem but those expectations of performing good are. I've been a good student till now. Scored 96.6% in 10th and was always a sincere and obedient child. My father is an alcoholic and mother, a typical Indian housewife who is all nice, hardworking, busy with house chores, frustrated and tired all day. Before the pandemic life was much easier to me. I would go to school and forget all these problems with my family. Oh I didn't mention that my father sometimes turns abusive and beats my mother. I don't know how safe it is to share here but I wish to confide in you. So this pandemic ruined it all. I had to face the reality of my life at home. I couldn't join any coaching or tuitions as this is not that developed place. I had to manage my studies with all this stress. I kind of ruined all my progress and image as a decent performer in school. I would never in a million years blame my environment for this. My parents love me and always wish the best for me. But right now I'm scoring really low in boards as well as JEE mock tests. All this is breaking me. I always wished to study hard and explore a world outside this little, not so happy house. I don't know what I'll do if I don't get a good government school. I want to make things happy between my parents and maybe if I earn well, I can do something...I don't know what but seems like money can fix a lot of things. I'm really so depressed...I was on anti-depression pills but felt like not to continue them as they made me overthink more...I don't know why. Nowadays I would just go on and sit uselessly or sleep for the entire day as I just want it to get over. Nobody sees how sad I'm. My father is busy with his office work and mother is depressed and traumatized to some levels. I feel like I can't burden them with all this anymore. I talked to my father to get things healthy but he gets all angry and aggressive.... and I'm really weak to face that both mentally and physically. I really wish that you get time to write back to me. I really need some help. I read an article where you answered some queries and couldn't stop myself. I just want to see if it's actually over or I have anything still left in this world for me :(Thank you

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Dear A,

Thank you for reaching out.

My response will be out here and shared online but your name does not appear, so it will be strictly confidential.

Sometimes we get into situations that we obviously don’t want to be in; like I am sure you didn’t want to be in a place filled with doubts and anxiety.

But hey, do you realise what’s nice about you?

You have a trait that doesn’t believe in blaming her parents and indulging in self-pity. And that’s wonderful and you know why?

Because when you shift focus onto yourself, you start to step up and do something more useful like value and respect your own life.

So, why don’t you start with listing down all the things that you are good at.

Next, the way you used to study earlier was effective; bring that schedule and pattern of studying back.

Write down the goal/outcome clearly and put down steps to achieving it. Exams are just one part of your life and not your entire life.

As for improving your environment, all that you can do now is, fortify yourself from the heated debates and sadness and how?

By spending time with friends who support and care for you, listening to music, indulging in things that you love doing.

And lastly, smile a lot! It will make you feel wonderful from within.

Celebrate what you have and live that moment! And most importantly, love yourself and the rest will follow…

All the best!

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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 19, 2024Hindi

I'm in relationship with a boy since 7.5 years i am a law student and recently i participated in moort court competition and unfortunately i was told to him that i was in competition but when i told him i participated in competition he was like how can you participated i didn't like that you participated in any competition. He told me that he was not participating in any competition then why you would do that (he is computer science engineering student) he told me like your competition is bigger than relation you only focus on you career . How can i deal with him he always thought i lied to him and he starting abusing me ????

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
All I see in your definition of your partner is an overly controlling person who is not supportive of your career; so what if you participated in a competition? How does that affect your relationship? Why does he have a say in that at all? I am sure he has good qualities too, but this part of him should not be excused.

I would also like to remind you that abuse, in any form, should never be tolerated, no matter how long you have been dating. Your safety and respect should always be your priority. Please reconsider this relationship; if you can't do so, at least address these issues head-on. He should not think that this behavior is acceptable. Don't ignore the warning signs.

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Question by ... - Oct 20, 2024Hindi

Hii Anu Krishna mam This is ritika I'm a law student I am in relationship with a boy since 7.5 year (he is student of computer science engineering) he always doubt on me i participated in moort competition although i was not told him about that he said he does not like that i am participating in any competition .he doesn't like then how can i participate in the competition Why he behaving like that he started abusing me mam he always think he is correct i am always wrong How can i deal with that if i telling him that it's good for my carrier then he was like how can your carrier bigger than relation Please help me I am literally devastated

Ans: Dear Muskan,
You said this:
he doesn't like then how can i participate in the competition!

Who exactly is he to tell you what to do and what not to do? He's doing this because you are allowing it, right?
If he already has begun to control certain aspects of your life and imagines that he is right, doesn't it look like a BIG RED FLAG?
Please think and act for yourself without being controlled by anyone. You are capable and you owe it yourself to steer your career your way. Emotionally blackmailing you by asking if your career is more important than the relationship: Say YES once and watch his reaction.

Be smart and act wise...Red flag on many counts...

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Drop in: www.unfear.io
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I’ve been in a relationship with a girl for the past 4 years, but due to various issues, things have become extremely complicated. Her father doesn’t approve of me, and my mother doesn’t like her either. Despite this, we’ve managed to stay together all these years. The problem is now escalating. My family is pressuring me to marry someone else, but I’m unable to leave her. At the same time, I feel I can’t marry her either because of her behavior and the ongoing issues with my family. I’ve tried to ask her to change certain things, but she hasn’t made any efforts in that direction. To make matters worse, her mother supports our relationship and trusts me, which makes it even harder for me to walk away. I don’t want her to marry someone else, but I also feel stuck because of my family’s expectations and the challenges in our relationship. Even If I leave her I don't know what she is going to do. What should I do in this situation to make the best decision for everyone involved?

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