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How to deal with a jealous classmate who threatens me?

Archana Deshpande |103 Answers |Ask -Follow

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Dec 07, 2024

Archana Deshpande, the founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching, is an image consultant, soft skills trainer and life coach.
She has been working with individuals and corporate organisations for more than 10 years during which she has helped professionals and students improve their soft skills, build confidence and enhance self-esteem.
An engineer from the PDA College of Engineering, Gulbarga, Archana had a successful career at Reliance Communications. But she has always been interested in teaching and training people. So she pursued a postgraduate diploma in teacher’s training at Pune’s Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies followed by teaching assignments in schools at Visakhapatnam and Mumbai.
Archana also holds an international certificate in image consulting and soft skills training from the Image Consulting Business Institute, Mumbai.... more

Question by MADHURRYA on Oct 11, 2024Hindi

I was the first boy in my school before the covid 19 started. But due to lockdown, our school took Online Exams and everyone gave their exams sitting at their home. I am vey honest in life so I didn't cheat like the three boys who repeatedly claimed the top three positions for the last three years. But now, one boy has slipped off from the top 10 positions due to extreme poor in study. But two boys still comes 1st and 2nd respectively. I was back few positions during covid and now I came Fifth this time. One boy named (---) who used to come second, came third this time, is very rude and jealous of my success and literally threatens me. From then, I decided to cross him from his place and show them who I was and I am. I have been trying my best at my studies to be at a better position this time. So, I request for more suggestions from you to improve myself and be better this time. Thank You.

Ans: Dear Madhurrya!!

You have a nice and unique name.. it sounds so good!! I like that fact that you are honest, it's a strength, let this not change because of cheating students. Good people don't change because of bad people. All the best on staying honest always , remember it is your strength.

Coming to your question..it's nice to have ppl competing with others and upping their game. If it is a respectful way, then go ahead and compete and become better, just like Rafal Nadal and Roger Federer, they became good at what they were doing by competing with each other.
Forget about that boy who threatens you...don't give him any space in your head, stay away from him and be strong enough to defend yourself when he tries to harm you, take help of elders if he physically harms you. Don't get into any verbal duels, he is not worth your time and attention. BE SAFE.

Let's now look into you getting better marks and upping your score..
1. discipline and consistency is what will help you score well
2. the power to score better lies in not just regular studies but in your revision. After you study a chapter, revise it within 10 mins , once in 24 hrs and then after 07 days. This way the learning gets absorbed completely.. try it out, maintain a diary for to plan every chapter's revision .. let me explain.. supposing you study chapter 09 in Science, then you revise the concepts for 10 mins after you finish studying it. Revise it the next day( 24 hrs).. and then mark in the diary to revise it after 07 days, revise it on that day. Your retention and reproducing the learning goes up by 80%.
3. Get enough sleep, eat good balanced diet, get 20 mins of physical activity and meditate for 10 mins. The simplest meditation is to sit in a quiet place, relax, close your eyes and observe your breath going in and out. Don't fret if you lose focus, just get back to observing the breath.
4. you keep working on your studies and yourself. You focus on becoming better, forget about all else and do not compare yourself with anyone.

All the very best!!

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Anu Krishna |1571 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 24, 2022

Question by AM - Jun 24, 2022Hindi

Hi Anu ma'am, I'm a class 12th JEE aspirant. Right now my life is actually seeming to be over. I have my board exams going on and JEE mains on head. The exams are not a problem but those expectations of performing good are. I've been a good student till now. Scored 96.6% in 10th and was always a sincere and obedient child. My father is an alcoholic and mother, a typical Indian housewife who is all nice, hardworking, busy with house chores, frustrated and tired all day. Before the pandemic life was much easier to me. I would go to school and forget all these problems with my family. Oh I didn't mention that my father sometimes turns abusive and beats my mother. I don't know how safe it is to share here but I wish to confide in you. So this pandemic ruined it all. I had to face the reality of my life at home. I couldn't join any coaching or tuitions as this is not that developed place. I had to manage my studies with all this stress. I kind of ruined all my progress and image as a decent performer in school. I would never in a million years blame my environment for this. My parents love me and always wish the best for me. But right now I'm scoring really low in boards as well as JEE mock tests. All this is breaking me. I always wished to study hard and explore a world outside this little, not so happy house. I don't know what I'll do if I don't get a good government school. I want to make things happy between my parents and maybe if I earn well, I can do something...I don't know what but seems like money can fix a lot of things. I'm really so depressed...I was on anti-depression pills but felt like not to continue them as they made me overthink more...I don't know why. Nowadays I would just go on and sit uselessly or sleep for the entire day as I just want it to get over. Nobody sees how sad I'm. My father is busy with his office work and mother is depressed and traumatized to some levels. I feel like I can't burden them with all this anymore. I talked to my father to get things healthy but he gets all angry and aggressive.... and I'm really weak to face that both mentally and physically. I really wish that you get time to write back to me. I really need some help. I read an article where you answered some queries and couldn't stop myself. I just want to see if it's actually over or I have anything still left in this world for me :(Thank you

Ans:

Dear A,

Thank you for reaching out.

My response will be out here and shared online but your name does not appear, so it will be strictly confidential.

Sometimes we get into situations that we obviously don’t want to be in; like I am sure you didn’t want to be in a place filled with doubts and anxiety.

But hey, do you realise what’s nice about you?

You have a trait that doesn’t believe in blaming her parents and indulging in self-pity. And that’s wonderful and you know why?

Because when you shift focus onto yourself, you start to step up and do something more useful like value and respect your own life.

So, why don’t you start with listing down all the things that you are good at.

Next, the way you used to study earlier was effective; bring that schedule and pattern of studying back.

Write down the goal/outcome clearly and put down steps to achieving it. Exams are just one part of your life and not your entire life.

As for improving your environment, all that you can do now is, fortify yourself from the heated debates and sadness and how?

By spending time with friends who support and care for you, listening to music, indulging in things that you love doing.

And lastly, smile a lot! It will make you feel wonderful from within.

Celebrate what you have and live that moment! And most importantly, love yourself and the rest will follow…

All the best!