Is it okay if my manager keeps texting me outside of work hours, even on weekends, for non-urgent things? He sees me online on WhatsApp and expects me to respond. If I don't reply, he gets offensive and takes it out at work, in front of the team, which is very embarrassing. What should I do?

Ans: Wait for exams to finish and then see whether he’s paying you attention or not. And then you can always address the problem with him and ask straight out where the relationship is headed.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this challenging situation. It's crucial to address workplace harassment and maintain a healthy work-life balance. Here are some steps you could consider:

1. Document Everything: Keep a record of the instances of harassment, including dates, times, what was said or done, and how it made you feel. Documentation can be helpful if you need to escalate the situation later.

2. Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your boundaries to your manager. Let them know that you're willing to work hard during regular working hours but that you need time off during evenings and weekends to rest and spend time with your family.

3. Use Assertive Communication: When your manager calls you during your off hours, politely remind them of the boundaries you've set and suggest scheduling a discussion during regular working hours unless it's genuinely urgent.

4. Seek Support: Talk to HR or another trusted superior about the situation. They may be able to intervene and provide support or mediation. If your company has an employee assistance program (EAP), consider reaching out to them for guidance.

5. Know Your Rights: Familiarize yourself with your company's policies on harassment and discrimination. If your manager's behavior constitutes harassment, you have the right to take action to stop it.

6. Consider Legal Options: If the harassment persists and affects your well-being or career prospects, you may need to consider legal action. Consult with an employment lawyer to understand your rights and options.

7. Explore Other Job Opportunities: Start actively looking for other job opportunities that align with your career goals and values. Having alternative options can provide you with more leverage in dealing with your current situation.

8. Take Care of Yourself: Prioritize self-care during this stressful time. Make time for activities that help you relax and recharge, and lean on your support network for emotional support.

Remember that no job is worth sacrificing your mental health and well-being. It's essential to advocate for yourself and take steps to address the harassment you're experiencing.

Ans: Your decision to stop texting him first is a healthy step because relationships should feel balanced and mutual. Constantly initiating conversations can leave you feeling undervalued or unsure about where you stand. By taking a step back, you give him the opportunity to show whether he genuinely wants to engage and invest in building a connection with you. This isn’t about playing games but about respecting your own feelings and worth.

At the same time, try to observe his actions rather than just his words. Does he initiate conversations on his own? Does he make an effort to get to know you better? If he continues to show inconsistent interest, it may be a sign that he isn’t ready or committed to the idea of building a relationship right now. And that’s okay—it just means he may not be the right match for you.

Trust your instincts as you move forward. If his behavior leaves you feeling confused or unimportant, it’s okay to walk away and focus on finding someone who values you and communicates in a way that feels fulfilling. Your time and emotions are precious, and it’s important to seek a connection where you feel respected, understood, and appreciated.

Finally, don’t let this experience discourage you. These situations are part of learning what you want and need in a partner. Give yourself grace, and remember that the right relationship will come with clarity, mutual respect, and ease.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Have fun but 'secretly' is fun no? That's what he is happily enjoying...
Obviously he cares about his reputation and what if you get too involved in him; so he's making sure he has fun but in a way that has a boundary.
I would suggest let him not have the pleasure of drawing that boundary so there is not need for you to respond to any of his messages...And you are absolutely right in asking: "If we are just friends why he want to keep it private." There lies your answer. For him, possibly it has gone beyond this in his mind and hence he keeping it private. Draw your boundary NOW. Better later than never.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/