Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Aruna Agarwal
Child and Parenting Counsellor
79 Answers | 27 FollowersFollow
Aruna Agarwal is a qualified child psychologist and behaviour therapist with over 20 years of experience.
She has a master’s degree in psychology with a specialisation in behaviour analysis. She focuses on children between the ages of 2-10 years who face challenges related to behaviour, language development or attention issues and providing them with the right life skills.
Agarwal is the owner of Kidzee, a pre-primary school, and Mount Litera Zee School that caters to primary students.... more
She has a master’s degree in psychology with a specialisation in behaviour analysis. She focuses on children between the ages of 2-10 years who face challenges related to behaviour, language development or attention issues and providing them with the right life skills.
Agarwal is the owner of Kidzee, a pre-primary school, and Mount Litera Zee School that caters to primary students.... more
Answered on Dec 18, 2024
My 5-Year-Old Daughter is Terrified of Loud Noises and Voices: How Can I Help Her?
Ans: There can be some sensory issues in children. Many a times Children have some aversion towards loud sounds if they have not been exposed to loud sounds. Instead of just removing the loud sounds,we can try to introduce her to loud sounds which she can bear and gradually increase the decibels. Once she gets used to it . Don't be in haste ,it has to be done gradually. Introduction to small social groups and gradually to bigger group too can be one way to get her comfortable.
(more)
Answered on Sep 23, 2024
Hello my son a has autism , he is regularly tearing the pages , throwing the things in front of him and screaming. Please suggest some ways to distract/ deviate his feelings
Ans: When a child has a language delay and Autism , any behaviour he does is a communication he wants to do with you. You need to figure out what is he looking for,if it is to get your attention,then give him attention when he is productively engaged. When he tearing the pages , you have to be calm and without any verbal communication with him that time , can take him around for some task completion like watering plants etc.
(more)
Answered on Aug 19, 2024
My 13-Year-Old Son Struggles with Written Exams. How Can I Help Him?
Ans: I think important is to understand the concepts then rote learning.
Make him understand the concepts by giving him the concept based learning, paired with activities and objective tests from each lesson before you start giving him more Lessons to learn. Divide the task into shorter achievable goals to develop the intrest.
(more)
Make him understand the concepts by giving him the concept based learning, paired with activities and objective tests from each lesson before you start giving him more Lessons to learn. Divide the task into shorter achievable goals to develop the intrest.
Answered on Jul 13, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 13, 2024Hindi
Answered on Jul 11, 2024
Answered on Jul 11, 2024
Answered on Jul 11, 2024
Answered on Jul 11, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
Answered on Jul 11, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
Should I Take Drop for JEE Mains After Scoring Low Percentile?
Ans: Set up a time for your studies taking short breaks ,it can be a visual schedule which helps you as a reminder. It can be also paired up with a timer which rings to the point you come back and start with your study. Reduce screen time if more.
(more)
Answered on Jul 11, 2024
Answered on Jul 11, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 08, 2024Hindi
Answered on Jun 30, 2024
Answered on Jun 18, 2024
Class 12th Student Struggling to Focus on JEE Preparation: How to Overcome Study Block?
Ans: You need to first understand what is the reason for this to happen. Take small goals for the day with the number of hours you intend to study, you can put them down on a board where it is visible to you and small breaks ( can listen to music ,read a book ,do gardening)which help you to break your monotonous routine .
Avoid more of screen time.
(more)
Avoid more of screen time.
Answered on Jun 17, 2024
Answered on Jun 11, 2024
Answered on Jun 09, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 08, 2024Hindi
Sensitive Soul: Should I Blame Myself for My Family Dynamics?
Ans: Many a times we do get carried away because of our emotions and start feeling victimized.Parent and child bond is always priceless. They both care and love each other but expression of this is lesser. Whereas in order to correct each other,we keep using derogatory remarks which can go on and one gets into the vicious cycle. You need to understand that what are their triggers and even yours. Talk to them and strike conversations when you are not emotionally feeling low. These are the time when you might hurt them with your words .
Do yoga, listen to music, develop a hobby, being Mindful will help you and them to deal with situation. Work on self regulation ( observe your own self) and your emotions. Consult some one if not able to do it on your own.
(more)
Do yoga, listen to music, develop a hobby, being Mindful will help you and them to deal with situation. Work on self regulation ( observe your own self) and your emotions. Consult some one if not able to do it on your own.
Answered on Jun 09, 2024
Answered on Jun 08, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2024Hindi
Answered on Jun 08, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 07, 2024Hindi
Should I Pay My Wife for Therapy Sessions?
Ans: This is honouring her time being spent using her expertise. It's a good thought,if you want to honour her time and also the child is getting the best from his mother. Please go ahead. But again I will like to warn you to understand her emotions as well before doing that.
(more)
Answered on Jun 04, 2024
53-Year-Old Dad Seeking Advice: How to Discipline 17-Year-Old Son Without Hurting?
Ans: Reprimanding your child is not going to help you get his behaviour changed. Start telling him about what you appreciate in him for some time and ignore what you do not like for some time. The things we can give attention on can get reinforced in this way.
(more)
Answered on May 27, 2024
Answered on May 24, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - May 06, 2024Hindi
Worried Mom: How to Help My Daughter Cope with Bullying & Sibling Rivalry?
Ans: Bullying in the school has to be taken seriously by the school and parents. I am glad that you are trying to provide her with strength to deal with this. Try to understand about the other child who is doing that,if possible take the help of teachers,peers and counselors in the school to counsel the child . Meanwhile try to help your child to develop self confidence and deal with this confidently. Make your child have strong self belief to have a better self esteem.
(more)
Answered on Mar 27, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 27, 2024Hindi
My child often misbehaves in public, throws a tantrum. He is fine at home. I don't know how to handle it gently. I feel like a failed parent. How can I be stern?
Ans: You can show some visuals of how to be behaving before going out with your child. Give some rules before and reinforce the right behaviour by verbal praises.Normally one try to manage the behaviour after its occurred but one need to do before it's going to occur. Use Visuals to explain if needed.
(more)
Answered on Mar 27, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 19, 2024Hindi
Hello ma'am, we are parents of 4 years old baby girl. We as parents are having difficult time since a year about handling our daughter's anger issues. As she's growing up her temper tantrums are becoming strong and she is slowly becoming stubborn,not listening to us. Is it normal for her age group or we should involve some tricks for her behaviour. Can suggest and advise on this issue. Thank you
Ans: We need to understand her function of the behaviour tantrums. How is her speech? You can give her some calming sensory Activities to regulate. We need to have a proper analysis to understand the deep rooted causes.
(more)
Answered on Mar 07, 2024
Hello Aruna Madam, My daughter 12 years old she is studying in 7th stanard, she doesnt focus on her study, also her hand writing is poor, i try to motivae her daily, but she doesnt care, sometime i think i leave her on his own way, she goes to school irregularly also she said, i am not co-up with school, she is not talk properly with her same age girls/boys, she is comfortable with younger children's. she is interested in drawings, is there any school for drawings
Ans: If the child is telling you about not being able to cope up with school, things you can check can be social skills, academic skills and if there is some kind of lack in comprehension of language. There can be various reasons for this and hence you can check the skill set she has currently.
(more)
Answered on Feb 21, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 01, 2023Hindi
Hi
I am Geetha Sethumadhavan..based out of Bangalore...My son Anirudh is diagnosed with ADHD in school. We have done some therapies.. But have not got any help.. He is jn his final year ( semester) Mcom.. doing from CMR University... Worried if he will get a job.... Want him to be independent.. Be proactive. He is always with his ipad and mobile.. He is 23 years old.. Please help...
Ans: Try to give him sports as an option, he can have his skill set devloped. What are his interest he can choose out of them. You can sit with him and talk to find out.
(more)
Answered on Feb 21, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2023Hindi
My son(3rd grade) good at most of the things studies, sports etc.. but little agressive so beats and fights at school. He tells they do something to me so I do. I do not want to suppress him by beating or scaring him. What could be the best way I can handle him. Currently I am talking to him by telling consequences of doing such things...
Ans: Check if he is able to accept No and have waiting skills. Incase not, you can first work on it. Give him but delay it and give him what he wants immediately. If he is not able to adjust to a group it can be due to various reasons,we need to check that.
(more)
Answered on Feb 21, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 01, 2023Hindi
My wife is very pushy towards my daughter who is 10 years. She believes in extreme discipline and even a small mistake means my daughter has to face lot of scolding and sometimes even beating. I have tried to counsel her but she is not ready to listen and says she has been brought up like that. My daughter looses her confidence and I am scared it hurting her mentally. Spoke to her family members but nothing is helping.
Ans: You can sit with your daughter and wife to setup clear rules according to your wife ,tell them to monitor this. You can ask her to token for right behaviours and take away if she any inappropriate behaviour. This is going to help both of them.
(more)
Answered on Feb 21, 2024
Hi ma'am, my son is in 4th grade, he can understand the chapter very well, orally he is good but when it comes to writing part in the exam he is not at all doing well, he is forgetting the answers. Kindly help him.
Ans: We need to check his attention skills and comprehension skills when it comes to writing. You can give him small questions to write first and then can build up with long questions . This needs a proper analysis. Also can check his screen time, please reduce incase it is more.
(more)
Answered on Feb 21, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 12, 2024Hindi
My 10 year old child is autistic. We have put him in normal school. But its very difficult for him to manage independently even though he has no abnormal behaviours or aggression. Currently my wife goes with him to school. Therefore is home shooling a better option for such kids? How to do about home schooling. Please share some links.
Ans: Are you taking any therapies for the child.
You can do ABA therapy for your child if it is available in your City. NIOS is also an option. Incase ABA is not available in your city you can take online options as it will help the child to move in a proper direction by setting goals according to his current level.
(more)
You can do ABA therapy for your child if it is available in your City. NIOS is also an option. Incase ABA is not available in your city you can take online options as it will help the child to move in a proper direction by setting goals according to his current level.
Answered on Feb 12, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2023Hindi
Hello Aruna ji
I have 14 year old son currently in class 9th.
From last couple of years we observed that he is not good in subjects where lot of memorization required like Social science.
He is average in Science and Maths.
What we and teacher understand after discussion that he is not able to form his answers and not able to understand what question is asking.
We evaluate with physcologist she identifies that he is facing issue in understanding and writing comprehensions. He has a tendency to skip questions if he dont understand or seems difficult. He didnot even try to look for answers or think.
Child physcologist said he is good kid and did not has other issues just need to work on weak areas and required no further assessment.
How do you think we can improve his comprehensions and learning/memorization abilities ? and what should we can do from here ?
Ans: Comprehension can improve after giving him small paragraphs, which can have multiple questions for him to answer. This is going to help him to comprehend the whole thing better and than he will be able to answer. Before writing he needs to focus more on his listening and reading skills.
(more)
Answered on Feb 12, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2023Hindi
I want to know how to control aggression of my 18 month old grand daughter with huge mental & physical power ? In which activity her mind can be diverted like sports & learning to make her cool. She has highest level of presence of mind.
Ans: You can make her work on her choice of activities to make her sit for longer duration and give her more sensory Activities like sand play , painting and water activities. She can do activities with more instructional control.
(more)
Answered on Feb 12, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2023Hindi
Sir/Madam, This is regarding my daughter, she is 20 years and studying first year MBBS and they have give one and half month holidays for final exams and before the one week of exams started crying continuously and we could manage to convince her and got some confidence and we have given liberty to watch tv of her choice, just a day before the day of the exam, on the night starts crying continuously with trembling and says I haven’t studied properly. As we know she is brilliant and got admission in govt. college. We don’t understand why this is happening before the exams or before the internal exams. She thinks so much and her concentration level is very good.Kindly advice.
Ans: Advice her to use mindfulness technique and try to bring herself to the present moments. This is going to give her clarity of thought and make her less anxious thinking about her future.
(more)
Answered on Jan 29, 2024
My son is 17 years and should write 11th class final exams in feb 2024. He is addicted to mobile & distracted from studies . He roams around with friends till late night. When i get strict , seize his mobile and tell him to study and write exams before getting the mobile back, he black mails me saying he will not write exams, he will discontinue studies, go work and earn etc. what is the solution?
Ans: It's important to understand that how is he faring in his studies.All of a sudden if you reduce he might not be able to adhere to it. But a gradual decrease in any behaviour is recommended. This way you will also not feel disheartened and even he will be able to do with out it for short intervals. He can be praised for the amount of efforts he takes to be without the mobile and doing his studies. Regular praises can act as a reinforcement to increase the probability of right behaviours.
(more)
Answered on Jan 13, 2024
Asked by Anonymous - Jan 12, 2024Hindi
Answered on Jan 07, 2024
I have 14 year old son currently in class 9th.
From last couple of years we observed that he is not good in subjects where lot of memorization required like Social science.
He is average in Science and Maths.
What we and teacher understand after discussion that he is not able to form his answers and not able to understand what question is asking.
We evaluate with physcologist she identifies that he is facing issue in understanding and writing comprehensions. If he finds question difficult or difficult to understand he did not even try to think or look for answers and just skip them straightaway.
Child physcologist said he is a good kid and did not have other issues, just need to work on weak areas and required no further assessment.
He gives lot of times to subjects but not able to get results.
How do you think we can improve his comprehensions and learning/memorization abilities ? and what should we can do from here ?
Ans: Develop his reading skills by using lots of visuals initially. He should be breaking up the task given and form small questions to understand what is being written. This will definitely help him to develop his comprehension skills which would help him to go through the question paper with ease.
(more)
Answered on Jan 07, 2024
Hi Sir.
My son is in class 9 and he is not interested in making friends and hence no one likes in his class but he is very good in study.I want him to be more social also.
pls help me
Ans: Social skills are a very important part of over all development which helps the child to learn emotional growth too. You can invite one or two of his friends for a week and keep introducing him to more people gradually in your presence and fade away your self gradually.
(more)
Answered on Jan 07, 2024
Hi Dr Aarti, I had written earlier about my 2 year old son regarding his screaming which has now subsided so thanks for the advice then. Over the last year my son's not gained any weight and this largely has been contributed by his habit of NOT eating.
We'v tried different tips and tricks but they don't seem to work anymore and we have to subject to the TV at times for meal times only. However lately TV or No TV he just isn't interested in eating anymore. Although we've tried a variety of items from sweet to savory to traditional home made food, he's moody and generally dismissive of anything presented to him (apart from French Toast at times). I do understand as he gets older and more conscious this won't be a problem but for now how do we as parents tackle this to ensure he's invested in eating?
Ans: You can make him feel the different texture and aromas of food. Let him taste it by pairing with his choice of food. The non preferred food can be in very little quantity as good as a size of grain initially.
I am glad my first strategy worked for you. You can try this too. I am sure it will work for your little one to get healthy food habits.
(more)
I am glad my first strategy worked for you. You can try this too. I am sure it will work for your little one to get healthy food habits.
Answered on Dec 26, 2023
i have a 12.5 year old daughter who is crazy behind a guy ... i have access to her chats but am unable to confront her thinking about the repercussions ... do we just leave this situation to time thinking she is just 12 years old and give her that space ... or you think i should go and talk to the guys parents in a polite way that we need to handle this situation. A bit worried to share this to the guys parents thinking what if the message spreads like fire in her school .. she will be shattered and will be low on confidence. I just need a solution to this ... she is too young to get into all these things ... we tried talking to her not on this subject but pressurizing her the importance of studies etc ... but nothing seems to work. Do you suggest to disconnect the internet? she has no personal mobile phone nor do we intend to give her till she is 15-16.
Ans: You can gently talk to her about her feelings and emotions. How she feels about her classmates and talk about boys as being friends. When you talk to her from a non judgemental space, she will be more open to receive from you.
(more)
Answered on Dec 20, 2023
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2023Hindi
Good morning Madam, my son is 14 years old. He is in 9th std. He is not studying well. Even though he is good in other works he don't work hard in studies. Always he studies on the previous day before exams. And also his handwriting is not good. He is much interested in doing business as I'm into business. I own a shop. All my relatives, friends, neighbors are high educated. I really want him to pursue a good degree. When I scold him he starts weeping. What should i do to motivate him? And how should I handle this? My wife can't teach him as she's not so educated and i can teach but don't have time.
Ans: How has been with studies,where is he lacking in understanding his subjects. Check what is making him procrastinate the task. To develop his interest get him extra support for his subjects he doesn't understand. Get him counselled if required.
(more)
Answered on Dec 18, 2023
My son is regular practice in math's, but still concept is not clear, due to this his marks are getting very poor, can you give the suggestion how to better improvement and better understanding, please suggest.
Ans: How old is he?
Set up clear and concise goals to reach the desired outcome. Check if his basic foundational knowledge is clear.
(more)
Set up clear and concise goals to reach the desired outcome. Check if his basic foundational knowledge is clear.
Answered on Dec 09, 2023
Hello Aruna ji, my child is 2 years and 6 months old. we feel gradually he is being attracted by mobile screen. how to control it. what is maximum time to give him screen time including tv?
Ans: You can involve the child in alternative activities and keep him engaged. There can be various sensory Activities like sand Play, water play etc. which will be equally or more reinforcing and this will help you to reduce the screen time.You should avoid giving screen time and it should not be more than 15 to 20 min in a day.
(more)
Answered on Dec 09, 2023
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 08, 2023Hindi
Hello Anu, I have 5 year boy who started talking very late around 4 years age, He is now in nursery class learning alphabets and numbers but he developed skill of solving double/triple digit numbers addition and multiplication by his own and his teacher are also confused how he is able to solve addition and small multiplication by himself without counting only thinking and answering in seconds. He is also physically not strong like 5 year boy. Kindly help regarding his behavior.
Ans: He has good cognitive skills and hence he is able to grasp his academic concepts well.
Whereas the delay in other milestone can be due to various reasons. If there are any sort of help required to take care of developmental delays, you should start working on it with early intervention by consulting a child psychologist or developmental paediatrician. It will require proper assessment.
(more)
Whereas the delay in other milestone can be due to various reasons. If there are any sort of help required to take care of developmental delays, you should start working on it with early intervention by consulting a child psychologist or developmental paediatrician. It will require proper assessment.
Answered on Sep 29, 2023
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 26, 2023Hindi
Hello Anu, I have a 12 year old daughter. She is also a tennis player. She is also pretty good at studies as well as sports. However, she has very low self esteem. I have tried my best to boost her mental confidence to convince her to believe that she is indeed a very good player. But, when some of her friends or other players makes negative comments on her playing skills, she takes it very seriously. This has affected her matches as well. Kindly suggest what I should do regarding this.
Ans: You can set small goals for her to reach the ultimate goal. Every step and goal she achieved can be a benchmark and motivation for reaching for the next one. Smaller goals to reach the bigger goal will be easier and will be a motivation for her.
(more)
Answered on Sep 29, 2023
Hello
My son is addictive to scree in form of videos, web series or games. I tried many things like make him understand or by giving treats if he reduced screen time or sometimes scolding but nothing is working. He is like habitual and whenever he gets chance he just grab a mobile, tab or remote of telivision. Please guide me how to change his habit. I am really worried as this is affecting his health and study. Thank you in advance.
Ans: Coming out of screen addiction is hard but with your consistency and resilience it can be done.
You can take a note of entire number of hours been spent on the screen.
After this try to reduce it by each day or two only half an hour to hour and praise the effort taken to do that. Motivate your child to have some fun times together with you by going for walks and starting participation in some sort of games together. It's going to be a gradual process then it will not be overwhelming for both of you.
(more)
You can take a note of entire number of hours been spent on the screen.
After this try to reduce it by each day or two only half an hour to hour and praise the effort taken to do that. Motivate your child to have some fun times together with you by going for walks and starting participation in some sort of games together. It's going to be a gradual process then it will not be overwhelming for both of you.
Answered on Sep 25, 2023
Madam, My son is in class 12 preparing for JEE Main 2024. He was doing very good till 11th although we never ever put any pressure on him. But suddenly from about 3-4 months ago, he is losing interest in his study. He himself says that. Now only 3 months left for his exam, how can we motivate him to study hard so that he fulfills his dream?
Ans: Talk to him about what is bothering him.
Do open ended discussion with him and let him only come out with the solutions. You can just give him some options so that he can choose out of it , rather than imposing your decisions on him. Help him to take small breaks from his monotonous routine and rejuvenate.
(more)
Do open ended discussion with him and let him only come out with the solutions. You can just give him some options so that he can choose out of it , rather than imposing your decisions on him. Help him to take small breaks from his monotonous routine and rejuvenate.
Answered on Sep 23, 2023
Dear Ma'am,
I have a child who studies in 9th Class.He has developed addiction for Mobile Games.He has not much interest in Study.He does not prefer to go tuition classes also and even finds fault with his teachers.He never obeys me and rather talks me back.It seems he has gone out of my control.He gets up late in the morning and awake late light.He prefers to play out with his friends and not ready to name study and always demands one thing or the other. What to do to mend his ways ? I am even running out of funds to support his study in Pvt School.
Regards,
Ans: Put him on self awareness and control using some token strategy.
Every right behaviour get him a token and negative behaviour token can be kept back.
When using this strategy, you need to be mindful by giving token only for right behaviour. He can collect it and exchange the same to get a reward from you.
(more)
Every right behaviour get him a token and negative behaviour token can be kept back.
When using this strategy, you need to be mindful by giving token only for right behaviour. He can collect it and exchange the same to get a reward from you.
Answered on Sep 23, 2023
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 28, 2023Hindi
Regarding my niece, she does 300 words. Her major issue is she does not sit still at all and she wants to keep talking and unable to stay quiet for long. What should be done.
Ans: Involve her in her choice of activities to build up on her sitting tolerance and work on her attention skills to get better. This will help her to redirect her attention to other things by giving her more options to engage productively.
(more)
Answered on Sep 08, 2023
Hello Doctor,
My daughter presently is in Std. 10th, she is a responsible person, she studies and scores around 75% and the same in 9th Std. The first unit test of Std.10th was not so good to her as she scored less marks in two subjects (around 6 and 7 out of 20). I asked her what is going in her mind the she opened up stating that she has the fear of obtaining good marks while writing the paper. I told her that don't think of the marks, if you study, revise well and calmly answer the paper without any hurry then definitely you will score good.
However, nowadays, my husband always scolds her to study, study or talk to her that there is no use of studying you, what will happen to you, all negativity and she is in depression and told me that I feel to die. I convinced her not to think like that and to ignore her father talks and concentrate on your studies and told that I am there with you always.
I require your guidance how can I keep her positive in her minds with positive vibes as she gets irritated with the situation my husband creates.
Thanking you
Regards,
MS
Ans: The fear of failure during exams might be not letting her perform in the exam.
You can convince her and explain that it's not important how much she scores ,it's about evolving herself each day and do better than what she did previously.
(more)
You can convince her and explain that it's not important how much she scores ,it's about evolving herself each day and do better than what she did previously.
Answered on Sep 08, 2023
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 08, 2023Hindi
Good Evening Madam. My son Is always disobeys her mother. He needs only Mobile. During the time school has a holiday; he only watches mobile and disobey parents. Not ready to get-up early morning. Not interested in Studies at all. Ruthless Boy ages 11 years. Regards Neeraj Singhal
Ans: Most of the time when they have screen addiction,it's difficult for them to develop intrest in the alternative skills or studies. This can be due to less attention skills due to screen time. See what is he interested in apart from the screen addiction, help him develop hobbies which are of his interest and it can be sports too. This will help him to focus better on his studies too.
(more)
Loading...Please wait!