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Aruna

Aruna Agarwal  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Feb 21, 2024

Aruna Agarwal is a qualified child psychologist and behaviour therapist with over 20 years of experience.
She has a master’s degree in psychology with a specialisation in behaviour analysis. She focuses on children between the ages of 2-10 years who face challenges related to behaviour, language development or attention issues and providing them with the right life skills.
Agarwal is the owner of Kidzee, a pre-primary school, and Mount Litera Zee School that caters to primary students.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 01, 2023Hindi
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My wife is very pushy towards my daughter who is 10 years. She believes in extreme discipline and even a small mistake means my daughter has to face lot of scolding and sometimes even beating. I have tried to counsel her but she is not ready to listen and says she has been brought up like that. My daughter looses her confidence and I am scared it hurting her mentally. Spoke to her family members but nothing is helping.

Ans: You can sit with your daughter and wife to setup clear rules according to your wife ,tell them to monitor this. You can ask her to token for right behaviours and take away if she any inappropriate behaviour. This is going to help both of them.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2023Hindi
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MINE WIFE,AGE 41 YEARS HAS EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATION OF B.ED,M.A AND M.ED.WE ARE MARRIED FOR 16 YEARS AND HAVE ADOPTED A SON WHO IS NOW STUDYING IN 1ST CLASS.INSPITE OF QUALIFICATION OF MY WIFE,SHE FAILS TO TEACH OUR SON PROPERLY.WHAT SHE DO IS CRAMMING EVEN IN MATHS.I TRY TO CONVINCE MINE WIFE TO READ BOOKS,NEWSPAPER BUT EVERYTIME I PUTUP THESE TOPICSSHE GETS HORRIBLE TOWARDS ME LIKE SHOUTING.SOMETIMES SHE CRIES LONELY.I ADVICE HER THAT WHATEVER WE LEARN WILL BENIFIT OUR SON BUT SHE REALLY GET UPSET WITH ANY OF MY ADVICE.I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO CONVINCE HER TO CHANGE HER NEGATIVE ATTITUDE.HER HEALTH IS ALSO NOT GOOD WHICH SHE REALISES BUT WHEN I TELL HER TO HAVE PROPER DIET AND EXERCISE,SHE GETS ANNOYED WITH ME AND SCREAM WITH ME.ON THE CONTRARY,WHEN SHE FACE OUTSIDE WORLD ,SHE GETS SCARY AND DON'T COME OUT OF HOUSE.WHOEVER SUGGEST HER SOMETHING SHE AVOIDS THAT PERSON.I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO OVERCOME THIS ATTITUDE OF HER.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Children; whether biological or adopted require the attention of the entire family.
Individuals; whether qualified or not require not just to manage home but also follow their passion.

From what I can gather, your wife can (while your son is at school) can work part-time or from home. I am sure her qualifications can help her find the right thing for her. Yes, I do understand that when she does not care for her health, it can cause you great deal of worry; but try to convey the same thing as CARE rather than an INSTRUCTION. It might help you...If she has begun to avoid people who are trying to help her, then the problem is possibly deeper than what it might be. Do get a medical check up done to rule out any vitamin deficiencies first and then if this persists, I suggest speaking with a counselor who can address any unresolved challenges that she might be facing.

All the best!

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 02, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, I am 45 year old and married from last 16 years and having 15 year old daughter . My Wife and I didn't have a good relation, We fight a lot, not sure what ever I speak she didn't like it and some how converted into argument , My wife is 10 year younger to me , I used to have good sex life at-least few year back, but relation was not good that time too, some how she is either having feeling of superiority or not sure what , She always blames me or my daughter if any things happen, she didn't ready to accept that she can be wrong . Previously even we used to have fight but overall things was fine , she used to generally fight but some how we do makeup after fight , now situation is out of control, she didn't accept her mistake and try to blame me for all the problem , she do over spend and if I try to control she start fighting, I think she just fight for what ever things she need for her selves , but always criticized / blame other , She pick up fight very easily with any one , She even fight a lot with our daughter . Even daughter some time suggest to go separate road than only she will understand , I try to go for concealing but no help , there also when used to discuss problem she hardly listen , even Councilor told her she must develop habit to listen others but nothing improve, I am not sure how to tackle this , She always sleep alone and if any disturbance she create ruckus , she want the things her own way if not than she can't tolerate . I am not sure but I need help here and problem after covid is more now , I try to manage these things previously but looks I don't have patience to handle this any more, I didn't like people blaming for no reason, it looks some time after doing so much for family I am nothing for my family and it is hurting me more. I will not say that I didn't fight , I do and mainly when I feel broken I shout on her and some time asked her to live the house , This may be as she always says she is looking for some one once she find she will leave the house , She always give threat and always say she didn't love me , She didn't find me attractive enough . She try to create environment where I should feel that I am not important person as well as social , I can write 10 more page around this but wanted to have some solution , not sure what could be best here . I wrote previously too but have not got any response yet.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I suggest that the two of you go and see a marriage therapist. This is not simply the job of a counselor; there is clearly a breakdown in the way your marriage is functioning...it needs both of you to build the marriage back again and the therapist will be able to see and review both sides and suggest/guide you two correctly.

10 or 20 pages are not going to help; what will help is that both of you sit down and think of why you are married and what you can do to rebuild it. Blaming her or yourself isn't anyway going to help...Rather than listing down each others' faults, try to work at this.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |552 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

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Hi, I have a divorcee daughter aged 45 whose unpleasant and quarrelsome behavior is a constant source of misery and headache for whole of the family. Her marriage could not go beyond 2 months as her in-laws turned out to be greedy, troublesome and also found involved in some fraudulent activities with a few police cases against them -- which forced us to seek divorce. I may add that my daughter ever since she was 13 or 14 yrs became a little self-willed and considered her to be always right in action and thought in front of parents or any one else. This has become very serious now. She is not at all open to any kind of reasoning or discussion. If you always act, think or do as per her wish, it is ok otherwise she will start fighting on any thing or every thing. Her attitude of selfishness and always finding faults with other family members including parents is spoiling the peaceful atmosphere of the house. Expecting any kind of adjustment from her is asking for the moon. Kindly advise.
Ans: Dear SN,

I can understand how challenging it must be to deal with your daughter's behavior. It's concerning that she's been displaying this attitude since she was young and that it's causing such turmoil within your family.

Consider seeking the help of a family therapist or counselor who specializes in dealing with family conflicts. A professional can provide an objective perspective and offer strategies for improving communication and resolving conflicts.It's important to establish clear boundaries with your daughter regarding her behavior. Let her know what behaviors are unacceptable and what consequences will follow if those boundaries are crossed.
Encourage Open Communication: Even though your daughter may be resistant to discussion, continue to encourage open communication within the family. Let her know that you're willing to listen to her perspective and work together to find solutions. Instead of solely focusing on her negative behavior, try to reinforce positive behaviors when you see them. Praise her when she acts respectfully or cooperatively, and try to reinforce those behaviors. Show your daughter how to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts peacefully by modeling those behaviors yourself. Avoid getting drawn into arguments or confrontations, and instead, try to remain calm and rational.If your daughter is open to it, encourage her to seek therapy on her own. A therapist can help her explore the underlying reasons for her behavior and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
Encourage Self-Reflection: Encourage your daughter to reflect on her behavior and its impact on herself and others. Help her recognize the importance of empathy and understanding in maintaining healthy relationships.
It may take time and patience, but with consistent effort and support, there is hope for improvement. Remember to take care of yourselves and seek support from other family members or friends if needed.

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Kanchan Rai  |552 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 26, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024Hindi
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Hi, my wife always fights and swears at me on every small discussion, she ran away from our house 3 times after arguing. She also likes to talk to other guys after starting a fight with me and always compares me with them as she think those boys can take Good care of her while they just wanna use her, I've tried talking to her mother but the mother always supports and listens to my wife. We have 2 daughters aged 7 and 3. Please advice me on way forward because i am seriously fed up with her behaviour
Ans: Start by setting aside a calm moment to have a serious discussion with your wife about how her behavior affects you and the children. Use "I" statements to express your feelings, like "I feel hurt when you compare me to other men" or "I feel stressed when our discussions turn into arguments." This approach can help her see your perspective without feeling attacked.

Next, it might be helpful to set some boundaries. Explain that while you're committed to your marriage, you can't tolerate behavior that is disrespectful or harmful to the family. Clearly define what is acceptable and what is not, and let her know that continuous conflicts will have consequences for your relationship.

Consider seeking professional help through couples therapy or counseling. A neutral third party can help facilitate conversations, address underlying issues, and improve communication between you two. If your wife is resistant, you might still consider going alone to seek support and strategies for yourself.

When discussing her conversations with other men, emphasize your concerns for her safety and emotional well-being. Let her know that these interactions can create more significant issues in your relationship, especially with children involved. Encourage her to focus on building a strong family foundation rather than seeking validation from others.

Lastly, prioritize your daughters' well-being. Make sure they feel secure and loved, regardless of the challenges you're facing. If necessary, seek support from trusted friends or family members to help you navigate this situation.

Remember that you deserve respect and support in your relationship. If things do not improve despite your efforts, you may need to consider your options moving forward for your happiness and the well-being of your children.

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Janak

Janak Patel  |19 Answers  |Ask -

MF, PF Expert - Answered on Mar 07, 2025

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Hi, I have 10 CR new surplus coming in next 6-12 months. I have worked hard and would like to take it easy at this point. I would like this corpus to last in perpetuity and leave behind a good amount for kids. I would like to invest this in a way that delivers 3 lakh per month inflation ( assume 5-6%) adjusted income and also grow the portfolio/corpus in longer run. Assume that this portfolio will be there for ever for next generations as well. Please advise a) if this is possible b) If the 3 lakh / per month expectation is too high/low c) provide details how I should approach this. d) Would you be able to prioject based on practical experience how much it will be in 30 years time. Thanks so much
Ans: Hi BK,

The queries you have raised are simple but the the solutions to them can be many. I will cover the important ones - your main objectives of regular monthly income and also have a corpus that you can leave behind.

So before my response I will make a few assumptions along with your inputs
1. You want to have 3 Lakh per month income to be adjusted by inflation each year.
2. You expect to receive above income for the next 30 years.
3. Return on the corpus invested will be an average of 10% pa.
4. Corpus to last beyond 30 years for your children.
5. No other dependencies to be serviced through your corpus.

Response a) Yes it is very much possible.

Response b) 3 lakh per month has to take into account your lifestyle expenses. It may seem too high for someone or too low for another, so its more relevant for you to measure it against your own expenses today. Do note that with time, and also as you indicated you want to take it easy, this number if its valid today may change once you take it easy.

Response c)
One of the simple solution to achieve your goals/objectives can be to split your 10 crore corpus into 2 amounts and invest them separately.
1. Invest 5.5 crore in Mutual fund schemes - you can further split this into 2~3 schemes for diversification and risk management. Consider between Conservative hybrid, Balanced advantage and Aggressive hybrid funds which can provide an annual average return of 10% (consolidated).
After a year of staying invested, start a SWP (systematic withdrawal plan) from these MF schemes to withdraw 3 lakhs per month and there after increase this by 5% every year.
This corpus will last you between 25 to 30 years.
2. Invest the remaining 4.5 crore separately in Mutual fund schemes - again this can be put into a portfolio of different schemes. This needs to be well balanced for investment for the next 30 years. This is where the long time duration of investment can permit you to take a bit of risk and generate good wealth.
At an average of 10% to 12% returns on the portfolio, expect the portfolio value to be between 78 crore and 125 crore after 30 years.

Response d) Projections provided above with assumed rate of returns.

Please note in the above, tax implications have not been taken into account. Also some important and crucial aspects need to be considered - health insurance being the primary one. You should get yourself a good health cover for the remainder of your life, if you have one, check if it needs to be enhanced or if its sufficient.
Hence I would recommend, you to hire/consult a Certified Financial Planner who can help you build your portfolio with recommended products and schemes that will meet your objectives. A CFP can provide a customized plan to achieve your goals and will also provide you alternatives/options and highlight the pros/cons for each.

Thanks & Regards
Janak Patel
Certified Financial Planner.

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8085 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 07, 2025Hindi
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Hello Sir, I am a housewife in need of passive income for my own and family needs. I have 30 lakhs which I want to do SWP of 30k every month. Question. How to create my portfolio with 30 lakhs and where and how to invest so that my capital is appreciated and can withdraw my 30k for many years Thanks & Rgds,
Ans: You want to generate a steady Rs 30K monthly income while ensuring your capital grows. This requires a balanced investment approach. I will guide you on how to structure your Rs 30 lakh portfolio to meet both goals.

Key Considerations Before Investing
Sustainability: You need withdrawals to last at least 20-30 years without depleting the capital.
Capital Appreciation: Your money should grow to counter inflation.
Tax Efficiency: Choosing the right funds can reduce tax on withdrawals.
Market Risks: A balance of equity and debt ensures stable and growing income.
A Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP) is a good choice. It allows you to withdraw Rs 30K per month while letting the remaining amount grow.

Ideal Portfolio Structure for Rs 30 Lakhs
A mix of equity and debt funds is required. This ensures stability while capturing growth.

Recommended Allocation:

50% (Rs 15L) in Equity Hybrid Funds – For growth and inflation protection
40% (Rs 12L) in Debt Funds – For stability and steady income
10% (Rs 3L) in Liquid Funds – For immediate liquidity and emergency needs
Step-by-Step Investment Plan
1. Equity Hybrid Funds (Rs 15L)
These funds invest in both equity and debt, giving you balanced growth.
Why? They provide better returns than pure debt funds while reducing volatility.
SWP From Here: You can withdraw from hybrid funds for higher tax efficiency.
2. Debt Funds (Rs 12L)
Invest in corporate bond funds and dynamic bond funds.
These offer better stability and returns compared to fixed deposits.
Helps in reducing market risk while still earning higher returns than traditional savings.
3. Liquid Funds (Rs 3L)
This acts as your emergency buffer.
It ensures you don’t withdraw from equity during market downturns.
Helps maintain consistent income even in volatile times.
How SWP Will Work
Start SWP from Equity Hybrid Funds. This ensures capital growth while giving you tax efficiency.
In case of market downturns, withdraw from Debt Funds instead. This protects your equity from unnecessary withdrawals during bad phases.
Rebalance every 2-3 years to maintain stability.
Your Rs 30 lakh corpus can comfortably provide Rs 30K per month for 20-30 years if structured correctly.

Final Insights
SWP from hybrid funds ensures both income and appreciation.
A mix of equity, debt, and liquid funds provides stability.
Your corpus will grow and last for decades if rebalanced periodically.
Tax-efficient withdrawal ensures more money stays in your hands.
With this approach, you get consistent income without worrying about capital depletion.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4286 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 07, 2025

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Jee main 2025 attempt 1 my daughter score 89.55 percentile with delhi state quota. What is their expected rank and govt college she got
Ans: Ravish Sir,

How to Predict Your Daughter's Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide

Once the January JEE Main session results are declared, many students and JEE applicants start asking common questions about eligibility for specific institutes (NITs, IIITs, GFTIs, etc.) based on their percentile, category, preferred branch, and home state.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Daughter's Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Daughter's Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least your daughter's 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your daugther's details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If your daughter is open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Daughter's Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State (OS) candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your daughter's expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, and preparation strategies, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your daughter's admissions!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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