
Hi, I am 28 years old, about to get engaged in couple of months. It's an arranged marriage. Before that I met with the girl. At our first meeting, she was little shy and hesitant at first but still we were able to have a good conversation. However after that, as usual parents wanted an answer and without beating around the bush, we agreed.
We went out once for lunch once and it was good. We got to know each other a little. But after that it's mostly chats. It's like I always start the conversation and end it. She may want to take things little slow which I respect. I am an introvert person, but at least I try to have a conversation. But even the chats feels like an interview round, she doesn't even ping me or calls me. Even I asked her if she has a boyfriend or is she happy with the marriage which she responded positively. That was a sigh of relief.
Last we talked was on Valentine's day where we exchanged gifts and had some chats. But after that no more talks till now. For a month I stopped texting her as it always seems I am always eager to talk and also to check whether she will revert back, but not once in a month she called or texted me. Isn't she a little bit curious to know me?
Now I feel tired to always ping her and asks her about her daily life. Maybe it seems like I am putting a lot of effort or maybe I am overthinking, but I just want to assure myself that I am taking the right decision. Sometimes I even feel if this marriage will work out or not. It's like I am taking a huge gamble on my life and letting destiny decide my faith.
Ans: A relationship, even in its early stages, should not feel like a duty. While some people do take time to open up, a complete lack of initiation from her side raises important concerns. Communication is not just about words; it’s also about effort, interest, and a willingness to connect. If she truly wanted to get to know you, even at a slow pace, there would be at least some level of curiosity or effort from her side.
It’s good that you gave space to see if she would reach out, but her silence for an entire month speaks volumes. This is not about overthinking—it’s about acknowledging your feelings and recognizing whether the emotional energy you are investing is being reciprocated. If she is this distant now, it’s fair to wonder whether this pattern will continue after marriage.
Rather than silently carrying these doubts, it would be best to have an open conversation with her. Express your feelings calmly and ask her directly about her thoughts on the relationship. It’s important to know whether she is truly interested or just going along with the marriage out of obligation. Clarity now can save you from deeper emotional struggles later.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and both partners should walk into it with confidence, not just because it was arranged or expected. If her response still feels indifferent or passive, you have every right to reconsider. This is your life, and you deserve a partner who values building a connection as much as you do.