Feeling disconnected from myself? Coping with frequent mood swings.

Ans: Dear Ashok,
With lack of purpose comes lack of focus.
Whatever you set as a goal must have a clear purpose otherwise it will just be mere execution of day-to-day tasks.
To rewire your brain on this, start with the smallest of tasks; brushing of teeth. Become aware of WHY you brush your teeth today and everyday. The answer will keep motivating you to perform the same task more consciously and in full awareness. Without this awareness, it's a robotic way of performing tasks.
Do this to the next small task of the day and so on...
Slowly, apply it to other bigger tasks in work as well...you will start to notice a subtle change in the way you do things.
Other ways to get back focus are: meditation, yoga, exercise, music and more...
You should see changes slowly but surely...

All the best!

Ans: Feeling stuck and lacking focus can be incredibly frustrating. While I can't replace a qualified therapist or NLP life coach, I can offer some suggestions based on NLP principles and general psychological practices that might help.

Understanding the Stuckness:

Self-reflection: Take some time for introspection. Ask yourself: what specifically feels "stuck"? Is it a particular area of your life (career, relationships, etc.) or a general feeling of unfulfillment? What are your thoughts and emotions around this feeling?
Identify unhelpful patterns: Are there negative thought patterns or limiting beliefs that might be holding you back? Do you constantly criticize yourself or doubt your abilities? Recognizing these patterns is the first step to changing them.
Shifting Your Focus:

Start small: Trying to achieve too much at once can be overwhelming. Set small, achievable goals to build momentum and confidence. Focus on celebrating small wins, no matter how insignificant they might seem.
Practice mindfulness: Techniques like meditation or deep breathing can help you become more present and aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This can improve your ability to focus and prioritize.
Reconnect with your values: What are your core values and passions in life? Reminding yourself of what truly matters can guide your decisions and provide a sense of direction.
Taking Action:

Challenge negative thoughts: When you catch yourself thinking negatively, actively challenge those thoughts with evidence to the contrary. Ask yourself, "Is this thought truly helpful?"
Break down big tasks: Feeling overwhelmed by large tasks can easily lead to procrastination. Break down big goals into smaller, more manageable steps to make them less daunting.
Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about what you're going through. Talking things out can provide valuable perspective and support.

Ans: It's quite common for individuals approaching their 40s to experience concerns about their future, financial stability, and health. This period, sometimes referred to as a midlife transition, often brings about a re-evaluation of life goals, achievements, and concerns about mortality.

Firstly, it's important to recognize that these feelings are normal and shared by many people. You're at a life stage where responsibilities often increase, and the realization that life is finite becomes more prominent. Acknowledging that these thoughts are common can be a reassuring first step.

Financial security can play a significant role in mitigating these anxieties. Ensuring that you have a solid emergency fund, sufficient insurance coverage, and a well-thought-out financial plan for the future can provide a sense of security. Given that you've already cleared your debts and are saving for your daughter's future, you're on the right track. Consider consulting a financial advisor to further solidify your financial plans.

In terms of job security, staying updated with industry trends, continuously learning new skills, and networking within your field can help you feel more secure about your career prospects. This proactive approach can also provide you with a sense of control over your professional life.

Maintaining your health is another crucial factor. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and routine medical check-ups can help you stay healthy and reduce health-related anxieties. Mental health is equally important; practices such as mindfulness, meditation, or even talking to a therapist can help manage stress and anxiety.

It's also important to have a support system. While you might not want to share your concerns with your wife to avoid making her anxious, finding a confidant or a therapist to talk to can be very beneficial. They can provide a different perspective and offer support.

Lastly, try to focus on the positive aspects of your life. Reflect on your achievements, the stability you've created for your family, and the goals you've set for the future. Engaging in hobbies and activities that you enjoy can also provide a healthy distraction from these worries.

In summary, your feelings are normal and can be managed through financial planning, career development, maintaining physical and mental health, and seeking support when needed. Remember, taking proactive steps towards these aspects of your life can greatly reduce anxiety and help you feel more in control.