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My 5-Year-Old Daughter is Terrified of Loud Noises and Voices: How Can I Help Her?

Aruna

Aruna Agarwal  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Dec 18, 2024

Aruna Agarwal is a qualified child psychologist and behaviour therapist with over 20 years of experience.
She has a master’s degree in psychology with a specialisation in behaviour analysis. She focuses on children between the ages of 2-10 years who face challenges related to behaviour, language development or attention issues and providing them with the right life skills.
Agarwal is the owner of Kidzee, a pre-primary school, and Mount Litera Zee School that caters to primary students.... more
Pankaj Question by Pankaj on Dec 02, 2024Hindi
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Hello Aruna, My daughter is 5year old now and she’s very scared of loud noise and voice both.for example loud noise in theatres,DJ’s. Even if we parents or teachers say something at high pitch she got very scared. She’s behave like normal child at home as kids do but in school she almost don’t talk to other children’s around her only answers to teachers if they ask her anything. When we talk to her and ask her why you don’t talk she explains that ma’am says don’t talk, keep quite which teachers generally says to everybody. Due to this she many times refuse to go to school.Her teachers also change frequently, as she get comfortable with a teacher she left the school. Kindly suggest what we should do.

Ans: There can be some sensory issues in children. Many a times Children have some aversion towards loud sounds if they have not been exposed to loud sounds. Instead of just removing the loud sounds,we can try to introduce her to loud sounds which she can bear and gradually increase the decibels. Once she gets used to it . Don't be in haste ,it has to be done gradually. Introduction to small social groups and gradually to bigger group too can be one way to get her comfortable.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1595 Answers  |Ask -

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Dear Anu,My second child is 8 years old. She is lovable and kind in heart. Nowadays she talks in a loud voice, not interested in studying, never heeds us. We are both employed and find it difficult to teach her anything as she shows zero interest in studies. We are both mentally stressed with her sound and she never obeys both of us and skips everything by arguing. Since we do not have T.V. she watches mobile and never gives it back when we ask and quarrels with us all the time for mobile. Nowadays I tend to beat her due to her sound. Please advise me to overcome the problem.
Ans:

Dear AC,

Never ever raise your hand on a child! It only makes matters worse…So, kindly refrain from that first.

Now, let’s deal with the challenge at hand. It seems like with both if you out on work, she might feel parental neglect. Who is the primary caregiver now?

I suggest take this seriously. It might require some professional help to handle the situation with a lot of care and expertise.

She is protesting against your absence at home and this neglect that she faces (which I am sure is unintentional from your end), is what comes out as a behavioural tantrum.

Beating is not the solution. Understanding the situation for what it is, is the solution.

Your daughter needs love and care from both her parents

She did not have enough knowledge or understanding that both her parents will be out on work

No other primary caregiver (assuming there is none or is ineffective) is around to hold space for her at her age

The absence of parents at home after dreadful school hours can be very stressful on her

Her emotional needs are facing starvation which shows up as anger and tantrums

To bring it to a place where it can be handled, she needs to feel hope and believe that you and your wife are around for her.

Start by:

  • Talking a lot to her and reassuring her that you both are there for her no matter what
  • No guilt buying of gadgets or otherwise to make up for your absence as it gives out the wrong message
  • Appointing a caregiver who is equipped to be with children her age (preferably an older lady) OR a grandparent who is physically and emotionally able to be a child of age 8
  • Use weekends to only be with her no matter what. Extended family and friends can wait; your daughter is your priority
  • Look into her eyes and say: I love you and hug her a lot; this is not a gesture but a lifeline to children facing parental neglect

Do this for the next couple of weeks and if nothing changes, kindly seek professional help.

This is not to send you on a guilt trip, but to sensitize you that a child needs a lot of attention and eye to detail in the family set up when both parents are working. So, step up to it NOW.

Best wishes!

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Aruna

Aruna Agarwal  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Apr 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 21, 2023Hindi
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My five-year-old daughter has just started school. For the first two days she was fine, but after that she started crying the whole time. Her teachers called us, asking us to take her home as she was crying relentlessly. We were even allowed to sit with her at school, but still she refused to go to class. Now, she even refuses to go to school. We push her inside the class but she comes out running moments later. Cries the whole time she is in school, whether we are there or not. We asked her if everything is fine, she only says 'I don't like school, don't like teachers and classmates'. Two of her friends, with whom she plays every evening, are also in the same class. But she refuses to even sit with them in the class. She misbehaves with teachers when forced to sit in the class. Though she apologises later when prompted. One day when we left her in school, we got a call within half an hour that she is showing very violent behaviour, hitting herself against the wall and running towards the school gate. All this made us very frightened as school buses keep coming and going on the main thoroughfare. The school counsellor failed to help. She said my daughter is not responding to counselling. We are absolutely clueless about what to do. Forcing her seems pointless.
Ans: The child seems to have Social Anxiety.However this can be determined by detailed Analysis.
You can start introducing the child to small groups rather than just stopping it. The best is introduce her to different set of people in a group and settings more often.Every behavior shown will have a function which we need to understand well before putting the intervention.

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Dr Aarti

Dr Aarti Bakshi  |40 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Apr 27, 2023

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My five-year-old child has just started going to school a month ago. She has never been out without her parents. This is her first time outside in a big set up with complete strangers. Initially, she cried a lot and we tried leaving her at school first and then staying with her there for some time. But the school authorities took things in their hands a couple of days ago. My child started sitting in the class and stopped crying, and according to them 'she is fine now'. But she became very quiet after coming back. Her usual playfulness was missing. She was not speaking much and was mostly nodding her head in response when asked anything. Even the things she is usually excited by were not interesting her. She went out to play but came shortly saying 'I am tired'. I took her out and after very long time she started talking normally. I spoke to her teachers and they said we were a bit strict with her today as it was needed. They're saying we should send her to school and this behaviour would be over within a week or so. But my wife and I are very worried that her childhood is being lost in this exercise. What should we do?
Ans: It is trying as a parent to see your child grow and develop in so many ways. It takes a village to bring up a child. Parenting is an art and you learn on the job. Averagely schools build discipline, consistency and hardwork. Parents build social connectedness, and support a child to see the real world. Trust professionals and be there as parents to hug and be hearing ears. But you are a team with the school faculty so you could reach out and connect with them. Hear their views, state yours views positively, and work towards the betterment of your child, trust processes. Children are precious and entry into the real world is tough for any child away from the cocoon of home. You both are her trusted adults, support the teacher to be her trusted adult too. Positive words fun and play are wonderful additions in a child’s life. Revert back with your way forward.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |583 Answers  |Ask -

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4488 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 06, 2025

Career
Sir , i got 67000crl rank and 20000obc rank in jee mains . I also got 18000 rank in vit. I am also going to write cusat, met and bitsat , i think i might not crack jee advance . i am hoping to pursue mechanical or electrical, Could sir kindly tell me its scope. From my current options which college should i choose among GFTI,s North east nits, VIT, MET, BITSAT for me to develop a good career
Ans: Rohan, considering your JEE performance, disregard BITSAT as it requires a minimum score of 250 out of 390 for admission into Mechanical Engineering or Electrical branches. Designate CUSAT as your primary selection if your Home State is Kerala and you qualify for OBC Category consideration. Compile a list of 4-5 esteemed colleges affiliated with CUSAT that possess commendable placement records. Secondly, prioritize GFTIs and North East NITs over alternatives such as VIT and MET. Regarding GFTIs and NITs, it is prudent to examine the placement records of the past three years and assess them prior to selecting preferences in JoSAA. Consider MET as your final alternative. Here is a step-by-step guide for predicting your chances of admission into NIT, IIIT, or GFTI following the JEE Main results.

Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories both Home State (HS) i.e. State you belong to & also Other State (OS).
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in, separately for HS & OS Categories for a quick reference.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.

Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4488 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 06, 2025

Career
what are the college options i can look up to at 91.8% in jee and 1.21 lakh crl
Ans: Valerica, Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Here is, How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories both Home State (HS) i.e. State you belong to & also Other State (OS).
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in, separately for HS & OS Categories for a quick reference.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.

Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

Radheshyam

Radheshyam Zanwar  |1603 Answers  |Ask -

MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on May 06, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, as my son Inter bord got 91% but in Jee mains 1st attempt got 50% and 2nd attempt got 70%, but he was not eligible for Advance, and he was wrote other college exams as (IIIT Hyd + VIT+TSEAPCET) in that VIT got results as 1.20 Lakh rank and he was eligible for Round of Category of 5th for VIT-AP & VIT-Bhopal, and expecting results for IIIT Hyd and also waiting for other Exams as (COMEDK + MIT + BITS), he was sincerely trying the efforts private college entrance exams, but the results which is not satisfy for him, and getting disappoint, but I was giving the motivation for other exams and do the hard work and focus on, BITS & IIT-Hyd also very tuff and more competitive, as i need to think for the negative side, if he could not get any cut of marks, what is the next option....? I request you pls give any other alternate suggestions for which is alternate engineering university for the course of (CSE AI & ML), my son interested in CSE course only
Ans: Hello Rakesh
First and foremost, I would like to commend your son for his earnest efforts in preparing for a range of engineering entrance examinations. His dedication is commendable, even if the outcomes so far haven't aligned with expectations. As you’ve mentioned, he has not yet been able to meet the required cutoff, which understandably may lead to feelings of disappointment or frustration.
However, the journey isn't over. Significant opportunities still lie ahead with BITSAT and IIIT-Hyderabad, both of which are known to be less about difficulty and more about testing strategic thinking and conceptual clarity. It appears that your son may be facing challenges in effectively managing the vast syllabus or might not yet have identified the right approach to tackle these competitive exams. Understanding how to study smartly for such tests often makes all the difference.
It’s important to maintain a positive outlook and avoid negative assumptions at this stage. You haven’t mentioned your financial circumstances, but if your son is determined to pursue fields like Computer Science, Artificial Intelligence, or Machine Learning, and if merit-based options don’t materialize, admission through the management quota could be a viable alternative. This route is typically available in reputed private engineering colleges, though it comes with a higher financial commitment.
Before considering this option seriously, I would recommend waiting for the results of all the remaining entrance exams. At the same time, it would be wise to proactively visit a few reputed institutions to inquire about the availability of management quota seats, associated costs, and relevant terms and conditions. Many parents secure such seats early on, anticipating the challenges their child might face in clearing competitive cutoffs.
Stay optimistic, there are still several promising pathways ahead.
Follow me if you like the reply. Thanks
Radheshyam

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Dr Nagarajan J S K

Dr Nagarajan J S K   |372 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on May 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 06, 2025
Career
can i get admission in NFSU through jee mains score only ? because i gone on NFSU admission portal link for B.Tech-M.Tech Integrated program in Computer Science and Engineering (Cyber Security) but they asking about NFAT exam
Ans: Hi,
I apologize for any confusion, but I want to clarify that when the government asked for our support of the ONE NATION ONE CARD system, we did not accept it. Similarly, everyone is required to open a savings account at a bank, and many of us expressed our discontent. However, we can see the positive changes happening in India. If we support the government, they will reciprocate by providing benefits to the citizens.

In terms of education, the government is attempting to implement a new education policy, which has proven to be quite difficult. The education system has changed significantly before and after the pandemic. Now, the government is working on new policies that align with those of developed countries.

Therefore, we cannot expect the ONE STUDENT ONE EXAM system from the government at this time, as it is not included in the current guidelines. Each council or organization has its own set of guidelines, and synchronizing them will take time. At this moment, it is simply not feasible.

The NFAT exam is different from the JEE. In the case of the JEE, they did not notify the aspirants that they are eligible to apply for NFSU, and similarly, NFSU did not mention that JEE rank holders could also apply. Therefore, if you want admission to NFSU, you need to register and appear for the NFTA.

In the near future, we can expect the ONE STUDENT ONE EXAM system from this BJP government for the benefit of younger generations. For the benefit of postgraduate aspirants (for all courses except a few professional ones), the NTA is organizing the PGCUET exam nationwide. In this exam, you can opt for up to four different courses based on your eligibility.

A similar exam pattern is needed for engineering and medical fields as well. As I mentioned, we can expect this change; however, we, as citizens, should offer moral support for the benefit of younger generations. Unfortunately, we often do not provide this support to the government. For example, in the NEET exam, many aspirants do not follow the guidelines even when appearing for the exams.
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