Dear Sir. We have a 9 year old daughter and we have enrolled her in spiritual learning class (1 hour every week), singing Carnatic music (1 hours every week), Bharat Natyam Dance class (2 hours every week). We are both working and we make it a point to spent quality time with her during weekends. My daughter is actively interested in these extra curricular activities. We have a society compound where children play and mainly they are boys. My daughter is not comfortable playing with them as they are much elder to her and at times dominate her. She has only 1 friend (girl) in her age group and mostly plays with her indoor. We discourage our daughter from playing alone outside as nowadays we hear a lot about girl child rapes, girl child molestation in the social media/news etc. This has led my daughter to spend more time with mobiles/laptops watching videos as she does not have many options to play. We shout at her often to spend less screen time but we then feel guilty as she has less options to play. She does have indoor games but gets bored very easily playing with them. We are worried that this may lead to lower self esteem as she spends more time indoors rather than outdoor. Please advise.
Ans: I understand your concerns about your daughter's limited options for outdoor play and her increased screen time. It's important to find a balance between keeping her safe and allowing her to engage in physical activities and social interactions. Here are a few suggestions that may help:
Encourage supervised playdates: Try organizing playdates with her friend or other children in her age group, either at your home or in a safe environment. This will give her an opportunity to interact with peers and engage in outdoor activities.
Explore extracurricular activities: Apart from her current classes, consider enrolling her in other activities that align with her interests. This could include sports, art classes, or any other activities available in your area that would allow her to interact with children of her age.
Get involved in community events: Look for community events or programs that involve children, such as sports tournaments, cultural festivals, or workshops. These events often provide a safe environment for children to interact and engage in various activities.
Discuss her concerns and teach self-defense: Have an open conversation with your daughter about her discomfort in playing with older boys. Teach her about personal boundaries and self-defense techniques so that she feels more empowered and confident while playing outside.
Consider joining parent-child groups: Look for parent-child groups or organizations in your community where you can participate together. These groups often organize outdoor activities for children and provide an opportunity for parents to connect and plan playdates.
Monitor screen time and suggest alternatives: While it's understandable that she may enjoy using mobiles and laptops, it's important to limit her screen time. Set specific time limits for screen usage and encourage her to engage in alternative activities, such as reading books, solving puzzles, drawing, or playing board games.
Create a safe outdoor space: If possible, create a safe outdoor space within your compound where she can play under your supervision. You could set up a play area with age-appropriate equipment and encourage her to spend time there.
Remember, it's essential to strike a balance between safety and allowing your daughter to explore and engage in outdoor activities. By providing her with options, encouraging social interactions, and monitoring screen time, you can help her develop self-esteem and a healthy lifestyle.