Hello Doctor, My daughter presently is in Std. 10th, she is a responsible person, she studies and scores around 75% and the same in 9th Std. The first unit test of Std.10th was not so good to her as she scored less marks in two subjects (around 6 and 7 out of 20). I asked her what is going in her mind the she opened up stating that she has the fear of obtaining good marks while writing the paper. I told her that don't think of the marks, if you study, revise well and calmly answer the paper without any hurry then definitely you will score good. However, nowadays, my husband always scolds her to study, study or talk to her that there is no use of studying you, what will happen to you, all negativity and she is in depression and told me that I feel to die. I convinced her not to think like that and to ignore her father talks and concentrate on your studies and told that I am there with you always. I require your guidance how can I keep her positive in her minds with positive vibes as she gets irritated with the situation my husband creates. Thanking you Regards, MS

Ans: Firstly, it's important to understand that academic success is not just about intelligence, but also about hard work, discipline, and good study habits. Your daughter may need some guidance on how to study effectively, manage her time, and stay organized. You can help her by setting aside a regular study schedule and creating a conducive environment for her to study, such as a quiet and well-lit room with minimal distractions. You can also encourage her to take regular breaks and engage in physical activity, which can help improve focus and concentration.

Secondly, you can work with your daughter's teachers to understand her strengths and weaknesses and identify areas where she may need extra support. This may involve hiring a tutor or seeking additional resources, such as online courses or educational software.

Lastly, it's important to provide your daughter with emotional support and encouragement. Reassure her that you believe in her abilities and that you are proud of her efforts, regardless of her grades. Encourage her to set realistic goals and celebrate her achievements, no matter how small.

Remember that academic success is a journey, and it takes time and effort to improve. With your support and guidance, your daughter can develop the skills and habits necessary to succeed academically.

Ans: Hi!!
A working mother, husband working abroad, there is only so much you can do. Spend quality time with your daughter, bond with her on stuff other than studies, that brings happiness to both of you.
If you as a mother know your child's potential then, this should be good. You are saying she is an average student then set a certain percentage that she can score, when she scores that much then celebrate it. Let her live a balanced life, right amount of time spent on studies and other skills. Expose her to other skills like, music, sports, debating, story telling... she will soon discover something where she excels!!

Set a time for studies, let her study during that time and rest of the time don't keep talking about studies, discuss and do something else. Explain to her why studying is important, make gaining knowledge, studying a rewarding experience. Every child comes with their set of strengths and success. As a mother cherish your child and enjoy your time together. Your child is unique, do not compare her with anyone else.
Inspire her to be happy, healthy and knowledgeable by you being so!!

Happy Parenting! Best wishes

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As hard as it may sound, let her take a break from whatever she is doing to figure out what exactly she wants to do in life and with her life.
Clearly, she seems to be disturbed with something that is going on...it could also be that she is worried for her father and youngsters have strange ways of coping which could also include smoking. How will marriage help when she is unsettled in her mind?
Take one step at a time...focus on your husband's health and involve her slowly into home related stuff and also helping you out. She needs a shift of focus into something that is healthy and also surrounded by love which can only be home.
Sending her away only means that you are reprimanding her and she will disconnect from the family which then will make it harder for all of you.
So, in short, let her take a break from whatever she is doing. It's okay to do that!
Involve her at home and when she feels the love and support from home, she herself will be in a place to decide what to do next...it's like providing an anchor to the ship to dock itself...Give her that time...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
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