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Aruna

Aruna Agarwal  |78 Answers  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Sep 08, 2023

Aruna Agarwal is a qualified child psychologist and behaviour therapist with over 20 years of experience.
She has a master’s degree in psychology with a specialisation in behaviour analysis. She focuses on children between the ages of 2-10 years who face challenges related to behaviour, language development or attention issues and providing them with the right life skills.
Agarwal is the owner of Kidzee, a pre-primary school, and Mount Litera Zee School that caters to primary students.... more
Madhuri Question by Madhuri on Sep 06, 2023Hindi
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Hello Doctor, My daughter presently is in Std. 10th, she is a responsible person, she studies and scores around 75% and the same in 9th Std. The first unit test of Std.10th was not so good to her as she scored less marks in two subjects (around 6 and 7 out of 20). I asked her what is going in her mind the she opened up stating that she has the fear of obtaining good marks while writing the paper. I told her that don't think of the marks, if you study, revise well and calmly answer the paper without any hurry then definitely you will score good. However, nowadays, my husband always scolds her to study, study or talk to her that there is no use of studying you, what will happen to you, all negativity and she is in depression and told me that I feel to die. I convinced her not to think like that and to ignore her father talks and concentrate on your studies and told that I am there with you always. I require your guidance how can I keep her positive in her minds with positive vibes as she gets irritated with the situation my husband creates. Thanking you Regards, MS

Ans: The fear of failure during exams might be not letting her perform in the exam.
You can convince her and explain that it's not important how much she scores ,it's about evolving herself each day and do better than what she did previously.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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my daughter is in 7th standard, she is not putting enough effort in studies, but when we discuss she says she knows everything but in exams she scores around 80% only, before exams we assume that she may score good but after results get disappointment, one astrologer told us that she will be average only, please guide us how to improve?
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My daughter is 10 years old, she dnt want to study at all.we forced her to study then she learned as I am also a working women and her father is in abroad. So, we arrange one home tutor and in evening I taught her also. I explained all subjects throughly to understand her basics. At that time only she studied otherwise she didn't want to study by her own. She always need a pressure for studies due to this her marks are not good at all. She is an average student. Pls suggest what to do?
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A working mother, husband working abroad, there is only so much you can do. Spend quality time with your daughter, bond with her on stuff other than studies, that brings happiness to both of you.
If you as a mother know your child's potential then, this should be good. You are saying she is an average student then set a certain percentage that she can score, when she scores that much then celebrate it. Let her live a balanced life, right amount of time spent on studies and other skills. Expose her to other skills like, music, sports, debating, story telling... she will soon discover something where she excels!!

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Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As hard as it may sound, let her take a break from whatever she is doing to figure out what exactly she wants to do in life and with her life.
Clearly, she seems to be disturbed with something that is going on...it could also be that she is worried for her father and youngsters have strange ways of coping which could also include smoking. How will marriage help when she is unsettled in her mind?
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All the best!
Anu Krishna
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Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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