Hello ma'am, we are parents of 4 years old baby girl. We as parents are having difficult time since a year about handling our daughter's anger issues. As she's growing up her temper tantrums are becoming strong and she is slowly becoming stubborn,not listening to us. Is it normal for her age group or we should involve some tricks for her behaviour. Can suggest and advise on this issue. Thank you

Ans: Hi Divya, the ideal situation would be for parents and children to have no concerns. But all emotions are important. And developmental skills are age related. A child who is misbehaving and throwing a tantrum is demanding attention. We all need attention. I would suggest the following strategies: 1. Stay Calm: when you and the child are both losing cool, it does not work. Staying cool is being in command. go down on your knees and talk in a slow base tone, after the initial tantrum is over. 2.Distraction technique: Show a child something pretty, the sky, a butterfly, ask your child to help you with something. Bribery does not work, like " I ll give you a sweet if you stop crying, now." That gives the child the power to affect you. 3. Carry a Bag: A bag of few favorite things like a comic, colours and book, a toy and something to eat and a water bottle, it supports a child to keep busy in a grown-up public world. 4. Familiarise: Show a photograph of the place and the people the child would meet, to help child get acclimatised to the space and people. 5. Lastly, let your child wear comfortable clothes, and have a full tummy.

Ans: Dear Shubham,
How is it possible for a 5-year old to understand logic when he is throwing an emotional fit (tantrum)?
Like you said it yourself; when it could have been stopped and changed, it wasn't done. He probably felt that it was fine to behave 'violently' (though I don't understand the context in which you use this word).
Now. all of a sudden when you and your wife are trying to stop him, he is pulling away as this behaviour was rewarded earlier. he has your earlier silence as your love and affection for which which he fears will be withdrawn now if he stops his behaviour.
So, logic isn't going to work; it doesn't work with adults, and here the child is merely 5 years.
So undoing what was done is going to take a lot of effort and patience (beyond all the talk that you and yoir wife are doing).
Start by:
- ignoring his tantrums; he will time-out himself in exhaustion
- talking to him at his eye level; get down on your knees, so he doesn't feel intimidated by your height
- hugging him a lot; a caring touch is worth a thousand words
- telling him how excited you both were when he was born; this can ensure that he will be special even after the arrival of the new baby
- distracting him with creative things; story telling and fine motor skill games improve focus and concentration
- cutting down on foods filled with sugar; sugar boost is artificial and can make a child or anyone go a little anxious
- ensuring him that he is loved a lot; saying it aloud while hugging him will soften his behaviour over time

Try these and I hope they work. If not, kindly without delay seek an appointment with a professional who can deal with children at your son's age.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Parents,
Anger is an emotion which caters to fear and loss of control. Give a choice and not a command to let your son know that he has a choice.
Example- your son says “ I do not want to do homework”, you could say, “ would you like to do half now and half after play time” 2. Modelling helps- accept his emotion but essential agreements are needed for accepted behaviour. Showing as parents what you do to handle any strong emotions is needed. Talking to each other as partners in appropriate tones is also needed. Have family dinners where you discuss things each of you are grateful for and how you as grown ups handle tough situations.

Ans: You can make her work on her choice of activities to make her sit for longer duration and give her more sensory Activities like sand play , painting and water activities. She can do activities with more instructional control.