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Worried Mom: How to Help My Daughter Cope with Bullying & Sibling Rivalry?

Aruna

Aruna Agarwal  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on May 24, 2024

Aruna Agarwal is a qualified child psychologist and behaviour therapist with over 20 years of experience.
She has a master’s degree in psychology with a specialisation in behaviour analysis. She focuses on children between the ages of 2-10 years who face challenges related to behaviour, language development or attention issues and providing them with the right life skills.
Agarwal is the owner of Kidzee, a pre-primary school, and Mount Litera Zee School that caters to primary students.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 06, 2024Hindi
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I am writing to express my concerns about my daughter, who is 10 years old. Over the past six months, she has been experiencing difficulties at school due to bullying from one of her classmates. This classmate has been isolating her from her other friends and has been making her feel uncomfortable. Consequently, her grades have started to decline, and she has been expressing a reluctance to attend school. My daughter has confided in me about this issue, and she is desperate to distance herself from this classmate. However, she is feeling scared and lacks the confidence to do so. Additionally, I have observed changes in her behavior at home. She has become more irritable, moody, and adamant. I believe this may be due to feelings of being neglected in comparison to her younger brother, who is three years old. While she loves her brother dearly, she sometimes feels that I give him more attention due to his age. As a parent, I am trying my best to support and reassure her, but I feel that I may not be providing enough help. I am seeking your guidance and assistance in addressing these issues and helping my daughter navigate through this challenging time.

Ans: Bullying in the school has to be taken seriously by the school and parents. I am glad that you are trying to provide her with strength to deal with this. Try to understand about the other child who is doing that,if possible take the help of teachers,peers and counselors in the school to counsel the child . Meanwhile try to help your child to develop self confidence and deal with this confidently. Make your child have strong self belief to have a better self esteem.
DISCLAIMER: The answer provided by rediffGURUS is for informational and general awareness purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment.
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Anu

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 15, 2021

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I need your expert advice in parenting my daughter. I am a 45 year old mother having two children, a daughter (aged 10 years) and a son (aged 7 years). My husband is very bad at finance issues and because of that we had some issues with my marriage. So I shifted to my mother's place with my kids and we were not in touch with my husband for quite some time. It’s been six years I have been bringing up my kids with very less support/ no support either from my husband or my mother. Since my husband is not staying with us, my kids have been missing their father. Of late, my husband visits us often and he spends time with the kids whenever possible. Though she is 10 years old, my daughter is not having that level of maturity. She is very illogical and dull. I have been training her in certain household work like sweeping the house, washing her clothes and all. She is doing all the work with no concentration/involvement/interest and so the output is pathetic. She is like that in her studies also. I have been explaining things in a very detailed way even then she is doing things like that. During my childhood no one was there to explain me but for my daughter I am there but she is not understanding the value of it. I am getting frustrated and irritated because of her. My question is since she was missing her father couple of years in the recent past, her behaviour is like this. Is there anything that I can do for her improvement? Shortly she might be starting her puberty cycle and before that I would like to make her logical and smart. I have been consistently trying for this by chatting with her alone but could not see any betterment. Kindly help me out.
Ans: Dear JR, when you say: She is very illogical and dull, what does this mean?

Does she take time to understand things? Or is it that she is being evaluated based on what others her age are doing?

At age 10, do you want a happy child or a child who excels in washing clothes and doing all your housework.

Sharing responsibilities at home is perfectly fine, but to judge your child based on that by saying: ‘output is pathetic’ only demoralizes the child further.

She possibly has missed her father all these years and what you need to do is fill it with more love, care and what is the point in driving the point that you didn’t have anyone and she has you and she has to understand the value of this.

She is 10, please allow her to be her age and feel free with each of you.

Create an environment that is loving and caring and supporting from both parents will enable her to relax, be cheerful, grow and be active. And this environment is not for any sort of evaluation or to see a favourable behaviour from her in return.

In a few years from now, she will be hitting puberty.

Let her walk into that phase with confidence and pride rather than self-doubt and shame. I am sure that as a mother you know how important that time is for a young girl.

Start thinking of how to be back together as a family as it isn’t easy for you as well to be away from your husband.

This could also be adding to your stress and maybe it comes out in different ways.

Be with your daughter, love her and encourage her and even after that, you see that there is a challenge, then maybe it’s time to visit a professional who can step in and help.

Happy parenting and be well and stress-free!

..Read more

Aruna

Aruna Agarwal  | Answer  |Ask -

Child and Parenting Counsellor - Answered on Apr 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 21, 2023Hindi
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My five-year-old daughter has just started school. For the first two days she was fine, but after that she started crying the whole time. Her teachers called us, asking us to take her home as she was crying relentlessly. We were even allowed to sit with her at school, but still she refused to go to class. Now, she even refuses to go to school. We push her inside the class but she comes out running moments later. Cries the whole time she is in school, whether we are there or not. We asked her if everything is fine, she only says 'I don't like school, don't like teachers and classmates'. Two of her friends, with whom she plays every evening, are also in the same class. But she refuses to even sit with them in the class. She misbehaves with teachers when forced to sit in the class. Though she apologises later when prompted. One day when we left her in school, we got a call within half an hour that she is showing very violent behaviour, hitting herself against the wall and running towards the school gate. All this made us very frightened as school buses keep coming and going on the main thoroughfare. The school counsellor failed to help. She said my daughter is not responding to counselling. We are absolutely clueless about what to do. Forcing her seems pointless.
Ans: The child seems to have Social Anxiety.However this can be determined by detailed Analysis.
You can start introducing the child to small groups rather than just stopping it. The best is introduce her to different set of people in a group and settings more often.Every behavior shown will have a function which we need to understand well before putting the intervention.

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11484 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 13, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 10, 2026
Money
I am a 54 year old male working abroad. I have below investments. I have below investments so far: PPF 55 lakhs,EPF 36 lakhs, MF (total cumulative) 5.5 crores ,Employee superannuity+gratuity 14.5 lakhs, NPS 17 lakhs Monthly MF SIP ongoing 2 lakhs Company FD 10 lakhs Gold 16 lakhs. I am well covered in life insurance as well as medical insurance. My question is 1) My wife is getting a one time windfall of Rs .80 Lakhs as part of her share in her ancestral property. a)Pls guide me on how to invest this money b) what are the ways to save on tax eg. rbi relief bonds etc? c) if rbi relief bonds how much is the maximum limit d) beyond that limit where should i remaining balance?
Ans: Thank you for sharing your investment details. You have built a substantial investment portfolio through regular investing. The key now is to invest your wifes Rs.80 lakh windfall in a tax-efficient manner without adding unnecessary risk.

» Assessment of Your Current Portfolio

– Your existing investments are spread across mutual funds, EPF, PPF, NPS, company deposits and gold.

– Your mutual fund corpus is already substantial, with an ongoing SIP of Rs.2 lakh per month.

– Therefore, the entire windfall need not go into equity mutual funds. Your decision should depend on your retirement age, expected expenses, tax residency and the level of risk you are comfortable taking.

– Since you are working abroad, your residential status under Indian tax laws is important. The tax treatment of your investments and interest income can differ based on whether you qualify as a resident, NRI or RNOR.

» 1. How to Invest the Rs.80 Lakh Windfall

First, keep the money in your wifes name if she is the legal recipient of the ancestral property proceeds. Maintain proper documents showing the source of funds.

Consider dividing the money into three broad purposes:

– Safety and liquidity: Keep a suitable amount in bank deposits or other low-risk instruments for emergencies and expenses expected in the next few years.

– Stable income: Consider suitable government-backed or high-quality fixed-income options, after checking eligibility, taxation, lock-in and withdrawal rules.

– Long-term growth: Invest a portion in diversified, actively managed equity mutual funds if the money is not required for at least 7–10 years.

Since your existing mutual fund corpus is already Rs.5.5 crore, avoid putting the entire Rs.80 lakh into equity without reviewing your overall asset allocation. Your present equity exposure may already be sufficient for your retirement goals.

» 2. Can You Save Tax Through RBI Bonds?

It is important to distinguish between tax-saving investments and investments that offer safety or regular interest income.

RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds are generally considered for investors seeking government-backed interest income. However, they are not a tax-saving instrument.

– Interest earned is taxable according to the applicable income tax rules.

– Investing in these bonds does not automatically provide a deduction under Section 80C.

– The bonds have a seven-year maturity period for ordinary individual investors, with premature encashment permitted only under specified conditions for eligible senior citizens.

– Interest rates are reset periodically, so the income may change over time.

Hence, these bonds can be considered for the safety and income portion of the portfolio, but not as a way to reduce tax on the windfall itself.

» 3. What Is the Maximum Investment Limit in RBI Bonds?

– There is no maximum investment limit in RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds.

– However, these bonds are available to eligible resident individuals and HUFs. If your wife is an NRI, she would not be eligible to invest in these bonds under the current eligibility rules. Confirm her residential status before proceeding.

– The interest rate for July–December 2026 is 8.05% per annum, payable half-yearly. The rate is reset periodically.

– The maturity period is seven years, and liquidity is limited. Premature encashment is allowed only for eligible senior citizens after the specified lock-in period.

Therefore, these bonds may suit the stable-income portion of your wifes portfolio, provided she is eligible and can accept the lock-in.

» 4. Can You Save Capital Gains Tax on the Ancestral Property?

This is an important point to clarify before investing the money.

– If your wife received the property through inheritance, the inheritance itself is generally not taxable as income.

– However, if the ancestral property was sold and Rs.80 lakh represents her share of the sale proceeds, capital gains tax may arise. The taxable gain is not necessarily the entire amount received.

– Depending on the facts, Section 54EC capital gains bonds may offer tax relief when eligible long-term capital gains arise from the sale of land or a building.

– The maximum investment eligible for this exemption is Rs.50 lakh, subject to the applicable conditions and timelines. The investment must generally be made within six months of the transfer.

– These are different from RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds. Section 54EC bonds are meant for eligible capital gains exemption, whereas RBI Floating Rate Savings Bonds provide taxable interest income.

If the property has already been sold, please check the sale date immediately. The deadline for claiming an exemption may be important.

» 5. Where Should You Invest the Remaining Amount?

If your wife is eligible for Section 54EC bonds and has sufficient eligible capital gains, up to Rs.50 lakh may be considered for that purpose.

The remaining amount can be allocated based on your financial goals.

– Bank deposits or other suitable fixed-income investments for short-term needs and capital safety.

– High-quality fixed-income instruments for the portion meant to provide stability.

– Diversified, actively managed equity mutual funds for long-term growth, if your overall portfolio review shows that additional equity exposure is appropriate.

Do not invest in a particular product only because it offers a tax benefit. Consider liquidity, taxation, maturity and the purpose of the investment.

» 6. My Final Assessment

Your family already has a strong investment base. At age 54, retirement planning, tax efficiency and asset allocation deserve more attention than simply maximising returns.

Before investing the Rs.80 lakh, please clarify these three points:

– Is the Rs.80 lakh received from an actual sale of ancestral property, or has your wife received the property itself as her share?

– Is your wife an Indian resident or an NRI for income-tax purposes?

– When was the property sold, if a sale has taken place?

These details will help determine whether capital gains tax applies, whether Section 54EC bonds are suitable, and how the remaining money can be invested efficiently.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11484 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 13, 2026

Money
my father is 75 years old and my mother is 70 years old, she has stent in the heart, can you recommend which is the best health insurance policy for them. thanks
Ans: Thank you for sharing your parents details. Having health insurance at this age is important, especially when your mother has a heart stent.

» Health Insurance for Your Parents

– At 75 and 70 years, getting a new health insurance policy may be difficult. Premiums can also be high, and some insurers may not accept the application.

– Your fathers health condition and your mothers heart history will be considered during underwriting. Since your mother has a heart stent, the insurer may impose waiting periods, exclusions or other conditions.

– Do not choose a policy based on premium alone. Check the coverage, room rent limits, co-payment, disease-wise limits and claim conditions carefully.

» What You Should Check Before Buying

– Look for a senior citizen health insurance policy that accepts applicants of their ages and offers reasonable hospitalisation coverage.

– For your mother, disclose the heart stent procedure and all related medical details honestly. Ask the insurer in writing whether future cardiac treatment will be covered and from when.

– Check the co-payment clause. If the policy has a 20% co-payment, you may have to pay 20% of eligible hospital expenses yourself.

– Check pre-existing disease waiting periods. Existing heart conditions may not be covered immediately.

– Check whether the policy has limits on ICU charges, room rent, specific treatments or the total amount payable for certain illnesses.

» Consider These Alternatives

– If your parents already have health insurance, check whether it can be continued or enhanced. Keeping existing coverage may be more useful than buying a new policy.

– Check whether they have any employer-sponsored, government-sponsored or other eligible health coverage.

– If new insurance is unavailable or too costly, maintain a separate medical emergency fund. This will help meet hospital expenses not covered by insurance.

» My Assessment

At their ages, I would first check existing insurance and its continuation options. Then compare new policies based on actual coverage and exclusions.

For your mother, written confirmation about cardiac coverage is especially important. Do not assume that a policy will cover heart-related treatment simply because the insurer accepts her application.

Please share these three details for a more suitable assessment:

– Do your parents currently have any health insurance? If yes, what is the sum insured?

– Which city do they live in?

– Does your mother have any other medical conditions apart from the heart stent?

With these details, we can narrow down the available options and identify the most practical way to protect your parents from large medical expenses.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

AMFI-Registered MFD – ARN 4188

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

...Read more

Krishna

Krishna Kumar  |430 Answers  |Ask -

Workplace Expert - Answered on Oct 12, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 12, 2026
Career
In my office, there are times when a colleague gets stuck with some work or makes a mistake, and I try to help them so that the work gets completed on time. Sometimes, I even put my own work aside to help them because I feel that we should support each other as a team. But when I am busy with my own tasks and need some help, the same colleagues are not always available. They may say they are busy or ask me to manage it myself. I don’t want to stop helping others because of this, as I feel it is important to maintain good relationships at work. At the same time, I sometimes feel that people take my helpful nature for granted, and my own work gets delayed because of it. I also worry that if I start refusing to help, my colleagues may think I have become selfish or uncooperative.
Ans: Dear

Very good question.

Few things let's get it clear. Each one is hired for a particular role and deliverables and they are paid for that.

You are hired first to do your work and deliverables assigned to you. Helping colleagues with their work, while letting your work aside is akin to not doing your responsibility.

My suggestion would be first focus on your work, if someone approaches you with a help and assistance for their work, you can provide them with guidance but do not end up doing their work.

If you are in the midst of your work and someone approaches you, you can politely yet firmly tell them that you are in mids if an important work and once done you will call them. DO NOT set aside your work for someone else. Remember you are working in a corporate world and not some social charitable organisation where any one can do everyone's work.

Hope this helps. All the best.

Warm Regards
KK

...Read more

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