Ravi Mittal

Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Question by himanshu - Jan 11, 2025Hindi

Relationship Doubt: Should I Marry My Girlfriend After Her Long-Term Past?

Ans: Dear Himanshu,
How does her past matter in your present and future? Exactly how will her living together with her ex, at a point in time when you did not exist in her life, matter to you today? Why are you judging her based on the fact that she loved someone else before you? I understand that these feelings can creep in, but you have to counsel yourself. She isn't at fault here because everything that is bothering you today is in her past and she cannot change that, and why should she have to change it, anyway? Every time you find yourself feeling this way, you can ask the same question and answer honestly. And in case you think you cannot get over these thoughts, let her go. No one deserves to be in a relationship where they have to be constantly reminded of their past or judged for it.

Best Wishes.

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Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Question by ammarao - Jan 12, 2025

Hello sir/ma'am, i am 24 yrs old and my boy friend 25 yrs old.I met him in a friendly chat app .We were talking on calls,texting and video calls and met each other in real after a 1 yr of relationship.He is the first guy and love in my life and want to marry him.I even made my family to agree for our marriage.He too says he loves me so much and has imagined his life with me and want to marry me.He even told his parents will stick on to whatever he says.He hasn't yet conveyed to his parents yet and told he will introduce to them after his younger sister marriage.We both are students still. I recently found that,he goes to the chat apps again and chats to other girls.When i asked ..he told just friends and even questioned me saying don't u have guy friends? and don't u meet them?....i told him u r the first guy n i dont have any. When our relationship has gone till marriage...why is that he wants to chat to multiple girls?...Now,i started feeling like he doesn't love me as he expressed. He even had past 3 online relationships n all 3 breakups,he told all these before..he told i am the first girl in real life.. I am worried now.Why do guys chat with multiple girls though they are in a serious relation?..does he really love or is it a game? No physical between us.We just met once in a temple and he just kissed my hands while we are going back and got very emotional while he was about to leave. I am worried..what should i do?.please,suggest.

Ans: Dear Ammarao,
Not all men chat with multiple women when they are serious about their relationship. Some might, but most men in exclusive relationships don't continue chatting. If his chats are truly friendly, there isn't much to worry about. But if you think there is more to it, I would suggest you reconsider the relationship.

Please talk to him directly and ask him if these women are only friends and if they know he is in a committed relationship. If he is being too defensive, you can tell him that in a relationship, it is also important to focus on what your partner is comfortable with. If you do not like these online friendships, communicate it to him.

I hope this helps.

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Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi

Should I get married next year if I'm unsure about the timing?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no hard and fast rule that you have to be dating for a certain period of time before you marry someone. But, of course, if you feel it's too soon, you can communicate your concern to your partner. After all, it is important to be on the same page. And who knows, maybe something your partner says or does can put your mind to ease.

Best Wishes.

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1

Answered on Jan 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 15, 2025Hindi

Bedridden After Surgery, My Girlfriend's Trip Makes Me Question Our Future Marriage (28M)

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I really cannot comment if you are overreacting or have every reason to feel this way without knowing a bit more about the entire situation. But what I can tell is that you should communicate your feelings to your partner. Let her know that while maintaining individuality or pursuing individual wishes in a relationship is important, it is equally important to pay heed to what makes your partner uncomfortable. Your request, from what information you have provided, seemed reasonable, while her reasoning that it is the guy's fault, not hers also makes perfect sense. So I think the best course of action is to let the situation calm down and have an open conversation. Could she have avoided this meetup to make you happy? Yes. But, she could've thought that if she avoids one thing for your happiness, you might start asking her to give up more things in the future, which is a real issue in many relationships. I think it is important to clear up all of these concerns and feelings before moving on with lifelong commitment.

Hope this helps

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Answered on Jan 09, 2025

Question by Zeenat - Jan 08, 2025Hindi

Will I be able to marry my boyfriend before my parents force me to marry someone else?

Ans: Dear Zeenat,
I understand your problem. The best course of action would be to inform your parents about your relationship. Let them sit together and come to a middle ground, like an engagement or something that solidifies your relationship till your partner is ready to be married or his siblings are married off. This way, you both are compromising a little and yet getting somewhat of an official commitment.

But the first step is to bring the parents into the loop and see how it goes.

Best Wishes.

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1

Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024

Hi I am 42 year old married with 2 kids. I was having a relationship before marriage but due to resistance from home couldnt convert it to marriage. i was ready to take the risk but the girl said no and she cut me off. i was crazy for an year or so. She got married but divorced with in months. She still loves me and often gives me signals that she wants me. I still keep in touch with her and vice versa and inside me i still love her. I dont know what to do . I cannot avoid her as i still lover her. but i am married. i ma afraid if i avoid her she will end her life. its a double side sword. please advise.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you still have feelings for your ex, but what about your present partner? What about your kids? Do you not love them? You made a choice and I know it might have been under pressure, but your choice should not hurt so many other innocent people.
If you wish to continue your relationship with your ex, I suggest you have an open conversation about the same with your wife. She does not deserve to be kept in the dark. Being the mother of your 2 children, she deserves at least this much truth and respect. You can see where it goes from there. But I do not think that you can go on much longer with your feet in two boats.

Best Wishes.

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Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 16, 2024

hello, i know maybe the question is so simple yet so complicated but if you love someone and you see the same love in the eyes of other person but you both cant do anything about it as there are situations, i came to delhi for few days and i fell in love with a guy its now getting difficult for me to get over it please talk to me

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I need some more context to help you better in this situation. But generally, I understand your emotions; it truly can be difficult to get over someone you love. I would suggest spending as much time with your friends and family as possible; basically, surround yourself with people who love you and make you happy to avoid feeling sad. Focus on things that make you content- take up a new hobby, find your passion, and maybe join a running or cycling club to socialize with more people besides getting the dopamine hit from exercising.

Hope this helps

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Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2025

Sir, we are an unmarried couple planning a short vacation in India before our engagement. I met her on a dating site and we have been together for over 2 years now. I want to propose her in the most unique way before officially meeting our parents. Any suggestions how I can do that?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
A proposal is such a personal thing. I don't think I can help you with any plans but I can suggest finding out things she loves and something that matters a lot to her and incorporate that in your proposal. Moreover, you can find out if she already has some dream proposal scenario, maybe from a movie or series, and recreate that- you would be making her dream come true.

Hope these will help you.

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Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Question by Devil - Jan 07, 2025Hindi

Should I propose to my girlfriend in a long-distance relationship? (One year, unproposed)

Ans: Dear Devil,
What kind of proposal are you talking about? To get married or to be your exclusive partner? For the first, you need to think long and hard if you are ready for marriage. For the second, I think it will be sweet if you do- you two are already dating but if you propose in a more official way, it might make her feel special. So, please go ahead.

Best Wishes.

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Answered on Jan 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 07, 2025Hindi

IT professional seeks advice after boyfriend's engagement to another woman

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it is very difficult to let go of a relationship you built from scratch. But I strongly believe that you deserve better. He left you, either out of family pressure or personal choice- but you deserve someone who will be with you no matter what comes. You gave him everything and he couldn't even give you his commitment. Do you really want to be with someone like that? Is that what you deserve? Understand your worth and move on with your head held high. I can assure you that you will find someone far far better than your ex. And why should you be the sole breadwinner and support the family alone? You deserve someone who will share every burden with you.

Please focus on moving on instead of getting him back. Again, I repeat, you deserve much more in life.

Best Wishes.

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Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi

Shy Guy: Should I Ask Out a Girl Who Makes Eye Contact in the Office?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are unsure of her relationship status, you can ask around and get clarity on that. If she is committed, it would be indecent to approach her. If she is single, go ahead and talk to her. You do not have to ask her on a date right away or ask "Do you like me? or anything significant like that. Just go and say hi, or start with a smile when she makes eye contact and see where it goes. All of these will help you make some contact with her. But yes, make sure she is single before making any move. If things work out, you can ask her out for a cup of coffee. These are all low-pressure situations which will help your introverted self remain calm.

Hope these help.

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Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 21, 2024Hindi

Dating Anxiety: 34-Year-Old Woman Panics at the Thought of Marriage

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Marriage is indeed a significant decision and it can be scary to many people. First of all, I want you to understand that you are not alone. Coming to your next question, see there are advantages to both methods- on the one hand, if you find your own partner, you can pick a more compatible person. Whereas, parents have better judgment, most of the time. So, why don't you try a mix of both? For instance, you can create a profile on a dating app and find yourself someone compatible from there. It doesn't immediately have to be for marriage. You can simply get to know each other first and then move things forward. The way to make sure that you find someone who would be interested in marriage is to mention that in your bio- "seeking a connection that can lead to marriage." Once you think you both are ready to talk marriage, you take it to your parents and let them use their years of experience to double-check if the connection is worth pursuing.
Hope this helps.

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1

Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 23, 2024Hindi

Should I Approach a Girl Who Seems Interested, Even Though She Has a Boyfriend?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you are unsure of her relationship status, you can ask around and get clarity on that. If she is committed, it would be indecent to approach her. If she is single, go ahead and talk to her. You do not have to ask her on a date right away or ask "Do you like me? or anything significant like that. Just go and say hi, or start with a smile when she makes eye contact and see where it goes. All of these will help you make some contact with her. But yes, make sure she is single before making any move. If things work out, you can ask her out for a cup of coffee. These are all low-pressure situations which will help your introverted self remain calm.

Hope these help.

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Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 21, 2024Hindi

Can't leave his parents after marriage: Break up or compromise?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is great that both of you have got this sorted before getting married. If you think that neither one of you can compromise on this front, I would suggest you rethink the relationship. Have a discussion and see if you can find a middle ground where both of you are happy- for instance, getting your own place but living with his parents on the weekends or something of the sort. If nothing works out, I would strongly suggest reconsidering the relationship.
Best Wishes.

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Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 03, 2025Hindi

22-year-old Woman with 28-year-old Boyfriend Faces Relationship Crossroads

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your dilemma. All I can say is that neither one of you is wrong here. He wants commitment before he decides to wait for you, and you want some more time. Both your requirements make perfect sense. My suggestion is that if you really think that you can't commit, you should clear that to him right away, and let him decide whether or not he is okay to go on like that. It's not fair to keep him hanging nor will it be right to make a decision for him. Give him clarity of the situation and let him decide.

In case you guys decide to break up, let him move on. I understand the urge to comfort him, but doing so, you are only going to stall his moving on process.

Hope this helps.

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Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Question by Divyanshu - Jan 05, 2025Hindi

Should I continue my relationship despite my girlfriend's unsettling ex-boyfriend?

Ans: Dear Divyanshu,
Looks like some part of your question is missing. Please feel free to ask again. I am afraid I can't help you without some more context.
Best Wishes.

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Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024Hindi

Seeking Advice: What Questions to Ask a Potential Husband?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is no hard and fast rule that you have to ask a certain set of questions. You can ask anything you like- things that are important to you, deal breakers, attributes you would want in your partner, etc. Anything that isn't rude, or too intrusive is okay. For instance, you can ask him what are his hobbies, passions, and career plans; does he like to travel, what are his values, his religious and political stance, does he drink or smoke, is he outgoing or loves to spend most of his time indoors, family plans, does he want kids, etc. These are all questions that will help you get a better picture of who this person is- but most importantly, let the conversation flow on its own. You do not have to make a questionnaire. You will get a fair idea of what to ask once you start talking.

Hope this helps.

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Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 30, 2024Hindi

Arranged marriage: My match hasn't spoken to me for two days, is this a red flag?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

He mentioned he has a throat infection and hence, decided to chat over WhatsApp and avoid phone calls, correct? If that's the case, why are you assuming that it has anything to do with you telling him about your hypertension? Has he given any indication that the information has affected him? If not, maybe he just isn't in a condition to speak and prefers texts. The “not engaging” part can also be because he isn't well. Give it some time and see if even after he recovers, he is still not engaging much. In that case, you have reasons to worry and you can ask him directly if he is no longer interested. After all, you both are adults and in an arranged marriage setup, the goal is marriage. So, you have every right to ask. For now, give some benefit of the doubt, and some space too, since he is unwell.

Best Wishes

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Answered on Jan 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 06, 2025Hindi

Unmarried Couples Banned in OYO Hotels - Will My Booking Be Cancelled?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As I cannot speak for Oyo, or give any insight on their rules and regulations, I won't be of much help here. Please contact the right people for this query.
Best Wishes.

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Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 24, 2024Hindi

My Girlfriend Is Comparing Me to Her Abusive Ex – Should I Be Worried?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's address the most important thing first, does she really love you? I am not sure about that. It's neither a solid yes or a solid no. But therein lies the challenge. If there is confusion, there is concern. Moreover, the habit of drawing comparisons with other people and how they treat their partners is an indication of a toxic relationship. I would urge you to rethink this relationship.

There will always be someone better out there- with a better car, a better-paying job, or even better looking, but that doesn't mean we stop loving our partner and leave them for that "better someone." Loving your partner is a choice you make every day. Having said that, it is okay if she wants someone "better." Let her. You deserve better too.

Please reconsider this relationship, especially if it is causing you so much sorrow.

Best wishes.

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Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Question by Raj - Jan 02, 2025Hindi

Am I Really Seeing Real Profiles on Dating Apps?

Ans: Dear Raj,
Your concerns are valid, but it is not limited to online dating apps. Regardless of online and offline, cheaters will be there. But technically, the chances of getting scammed online are less because most dating apps have strict security policy and features. Despite these measures, people sometimes find a way to scam or cheat; that's why it is always recommended to be cautious while dating, and it goes for both online and offline- for instance, stay away from money talks, do not share sensitive details, be careful while sharing pictures, etc.

Moreover, most profiles are genuine people trying to find love or companionship.

Hope this helps.

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Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 26, 2024

Hi i am 30yr old man i was in relationship with girl from school time since15 year with different caste in 2023 marriage proposal from another girl comes that time i talked with my family about my love they refused for marriage to her i did not put aggressive effort as i also don't want to hurt them after my marriage in a month i am remembering her continuously and start taking to her again i also told my wife about it she doesn't want to leave me (i also told her before our marriage but that time i told her that we broke up) after a year in this November her marriage is fixed by her parents now she is married since 2 month but she also don't want to live with her husband and want to come back We both wanted to come back to each other what should we do.??

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it is a tricky situation. I am sorry I cannot tell you what you should do, but I can tell you that you have to handle this very carefully because it's a sensitive matter and involves too many people and their emotions. You can discuss the same with your family; you might be worried about upsetting them but at the end of the day, it's your life and you will have to live a long long time with the decisions you make. Sort your priorities- ask yourself these simple questions: what would hurt you more- hurting your parents and making your wife collateral damage because of your confusion or not living the rest of your life with the woman you love? Once you can answer these truthfully, it will be easier to make a choice.

Hope this helps

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Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 01, 2025

my gf and i started sexual talking from a week and we both have done alot of activities but through call and during doing this thing she tells that she get physical when we'll meet but after doing all this the next day she tells that no its too early for all this and we should not talk or do such activities at night we are doing things too early she has done this thing 3 times during night she is ready but during day when she calls she says when we'll meet we'll not do anything and its been 4 months of our relation and after this whole week i really wanna get involved physically what should i do ? is it really too early to get physical

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There isn't really a timeframe "set in stone." It's all about comfort. Everyone has their own pace; if she says that she isn't ready to be intimate in real life, then respect that. Do not rush her. There's nothing wrong with taking things slow. Also, you have to understand that there is a big difference between texting about intimacy and doing the same in reality. While she might be comfortable with the first one, she might not be ready for the latter. Please respect that.

Hope this helps

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Answered on Jan 02, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 28, 2024

I love my boyfriend very much but the thing is i am not a virgin and my boyfriend doesn’t know that , he thinks i am a virgin and he wants me to be virgin only , i am completely loyal to him I don’t have any type of contact from my ex boyfriend and i really want to marry my boyfriend and live a healthy and loyal life , my boyfriend doesn’t like lies but i really can’t tell him the truth as it will affect my relationship which i don’t want to happen, he will come to know that i am not a virgin but the main problem is my ex bf what if he comes in my life again and tries to spoil my relationship by telling my bf the truth? And i really don’t want this to happen what should i do? I myself don’t want to loe to my bf but this is the thing i really can’t tell him it will break my relationship and other than this there is nothing that i lied i am just afraid what if my ex blackmails me and when my bf comes to know and he will be heartbroken i don’t want to break his trust

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that your virginity is important to him and you should not have kept this from him, but do you understand that your virginity is your choice? Why does he have a say in it? He is your partner- he loves you, but he doesn't own you. And what you did in your past is not something he can judge you by; why should that affect your relationship? I know that you love him but it's better to tell him the truth and accept the outcome than to keep lying and feel guilty about something you should not even be worrying about.

I am sure he has many great qualities but being so concerned about your virginity seems a little concerning. You are a person with so many other attributes. Why would he ignore all of that and care only about something that you have no control over? I suggest you tell him, but please remember, no matter what he says, you are not at fault here. It's in your past, a time when he did not exist for you.

Best Wishes

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Answered on Dec 31, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 29, 2024

Hi , male happily married for 6 years . I find my ex collegue very attractive. Part of me is yearning to have some good sex with her. She is also married and a good human being, she likes me but still bit sure if she really wants to have sex with me. She loves being with me.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Do you have an open marriage? If so, I understand what you are saying. If not, do you understand what you are saying?

I am assuming that you have an open marriage- even so, if you are not sure about your colleague's feelings for you or have no idea about her marital arrangements, it would be a terrible idea to approach her with this. Moreover, she has never voiced her interest in you- “loves being with you” is not the same as she loves you romantically or lusts for you. Please tread very carefully.

I am saying all of these considering you have an open marriage. If that isn't the case, I don't think I have to tell you how wrong all of it is, and how much you should focus on your marriage and whatever is lacking in it; you can even try marriage counseling.

Hope this helps.

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Answered on Dec 31, 2024

Question by dakshesh - Dec 15, 2024

there is a girl and i truly love her but apparently not vice verca, she is dating bad guys and getting hurt again and again but not giving a single chance to me , i truly love her and ready to do anything for her, i confessed my feelings multiple times in front of her but she is like let it be and let the god do whatever he wants also she ghosts me pushed me away and many more things but from the first day we are in a complicated situationship.

Ans: Dear Dakshesh,
I can't speak for her, but I can tell you that when a person, man or woman, is pushing you away and voicing their disinterest, it's best to give them their space. It can either be she is not interested in you romantically or she needs time to get there. But you cannot manipulate, push, or convince her to like you that way. If it happens organically, then good. Or else, you should respect her decision. Moreover, don't you think you deserve someone who likes you back the same way and chooses you over everyone else? I sure think you deserve better.
Please let her make her own choices and as for you, make better choices that are good for you. This toxicity and complicated relationship might be subconsciously exciting right now, but it won't be for long. You will get exhausted.

Best Wishes.

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Answered on Dec 31, 2024

Question by Neha - Dec 31, 2024Hindi

Mujhe Pyaar Mein Kabhi Kamyabi Kyun Nahin Milti?

Ans: Dear Neha,
Finding love takes time for most people. Sometimes we have no control over these things. I can suggest dating apps. You can add a bio that describes you well and also mention the kind of person you want. This way you will only attract people who are compatible with you. It can increase your chances of having a successful relationship. Nevertheless, everyone's love story happens at different paces. Don't worry. You will find yours too, in time.

Best Wishes.

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1

Answered on Dec 31, 2024

Question by Neha - Dec 30, 2024

Mujhe love relationship me success nahi milti aisa kyu

Ans: Dear Neha,
Finding the right relationship takes time for most people. Sometimes we have no control over these things. I can suggest dating apps. You can add a bio that describes you well and also mention the kind of person you want. This way you will only attract people who are compatible with you. It can increase your chances of having a successful relationship. Nevertheless, everyone's love story happens at different paces. Don't worry. You will find yours too, in time.

Best Wishes.

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Answered on Dec 31, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 31, 2024

I’m feeling really lost right now. I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year, and things started out great. We have a lot in common, and we both enjoy going out with friends. But recently, I've noticed something that’s been bothering me. He works as a bartender, and every time I go to his bar, he gets upset about my friends being there. It feels like he’s trying to push me away from them, and I don’t know how to deal with it. Last weekend, we went out, and after a few drinks, I mentioned how uncomfortable it made me that he talked badly about my friends when they come to his bar. I thought I was being calm about it, but he just flipped out. He started yelling at me in the car, and I was so scared because he was driving way too fast and swerving. I told him I was going to call the cops, but he didn’t listen. Eventually, he pulled over, got out of the car, and started screaming and running around. It all felt so intense and out of control. When he came back to the car, things got physical. I slapped him in an attempt to make him stop, which I regret because I’ve never done that before. In the heat of the moment, he slapped me back and pushed me into a bush. The next day, I had bruises, and I just couldn’t stop thinking about everything that happened. Now, he’s been trying to buy me things and even booked a trip for us, begging me to stay. But I feel so unsure of what to do. I keep telling him that I need space, but it feels like he’s not really understanding the severity of what happened. I’m torn between wanting to make it work and realizing that this situation isn’t healthy. What should I do? Should I give him another chance or listen to my instincts and walk away for good?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, physical violence is never the answer to any problem. I think you already know that. Coming to your main query, I think you should take the chain of events that followed after you confronted him very seriously. It's not healthy to slap and be slapped back and pushed into a bush. I am sure he regrets it just like you, but it can become a pattern. I would strongly urge you to rethink this relationship. If you are keen on keeping it going, I recommend either having an open discussion about what happened to make sure it is never repeated, or even better, consulting a therapist to work through the issues. You can have concerns and queries as to why he doesn't like it when your friends are around- that does not warrant such a harsh reaction.

I hope this helps.

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Answered on Dec 26, 2024

Question by Moumita - Dec 24, 2024Hindi

Confused about Arranged Marriage: Is He Brainwashing Me?

Ans: Dear Moumita,
It isn't fair to label someone as a red flag over a few days of conversation; seeing women take up responsibilities of home and disregard their own career or needs might be what he has seen growing up and it's not him being a red flag intentionally. A lot has to do with upbringing. What I can suggest with confidence is that if you love having your own job, and your own financial independence then please be vocal about it. Just because he is asking you to leave your job doesn't mean you have to do it- you are only in the talking phase. You are not married yet. You have ample time to rethink your choice. Cooking and housework shouldn’t just be your responsibility, just like earning and providing shouldn’t only be his. It’s about sharing the load equally. Having said that, I should also mention that every relationship is different, and each couple finds their own way of balancing things. Ultimately, everything boils down to what you are comfortable with- please take some time to figure that out and only then decide whether or not to take this relationship ahead.

Hope this helps.

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Answered on Dec 24, 2024

Question by Singh - Dec 23, 2024Hindi

Help! My Best Friend's Ex Boyfriend wants to meet her before his marriage - What should I advise?

Ans: Dear Sonalee,
I am not sure if it's such a good idea to go and meet her ex, but if that's what she needs to do for closure, then other than supporting her, there isn't much you can do. I know it sucks to see our loved ones in pain and making choices that will cause them more pain, but in some cases, we have to let them make their own decisions. Go with her since she is asking you to; look out for any kind of tricky situation and be there for her because it won't be easy.

Best Wishes.

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Answered on Dec 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 22, 2024Hindi

Boyfriend Blackmailing - How Do I Help My Friend Break Up Without Hurting Her Studies?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Trust me, the right thing is to inform her parents about this. Torture is a serious matter and she should not have to tolerate that. I am very sorry that this is happening to her, but please encourage her to break up with the guy and tell her parents the truth. She can simply tell that she used to like someone, but does not anymore. This way, the guy can't blackmail her anymore and her parents will also know that she is not involved with him anymore.

Hope this helps.

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1

Answered on Dec 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2024Hindi

Divorced Mom in Love with Gujarati Man: Will He Introduce Me to His Parents?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concerns and they are absolutely valid. Have you communicated these worries with your partner? I mean, does he know how much this is bothering you? If not, I would suggest you start there. Open up to him. Let him know that his not telling his parents about you raises a lot of questions in your mind. He should understand that you are a person with dreams and desires and also a mom with responsibilities. If his intentions are to continue dating you, and that is not what you want, he should clear it out right now, before it's too late. It's important for couples to be on the same page when it comes to relationship goals.

Talk to him. I am sure you will get a lot of clarity.

Best Wishes.

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2

Answered on Dec 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 17, 2024

There's a girl in my collage my classmate I am very obsessed with her and tried to talk to her always I proposed her very early and was rejected still instead of leaving her I always tried to talk to her and she's said multiple times she's not interested still I love her so much that I just can't let her go with each passing day our convos reduced and she ignored me a lot this is all a 2 month long story and this ignoring phase started 10-15 days ago what do I shall do now to get her back. Please help me I seriously want her back she's a great person.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I can't help you get her back, but I can help you understand boundaries. If she is saying she is not interested, the only clear conclusion from that statement is that "she is not interested." A no is a no. It does not mean "Convince me some more and I will change my mind." I am sure you are a great person and you will find someone amazing who is actually interested in you, but this woman is not the one. And what you are doing is not right. I would strongly urge you to move on and even if it hurts for a while, you should not be bothering her for that. Please respect her decision.

Best Wishes.

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Answered on Dec 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 19, 2024Hindi

I'm dating a single dad, how do I set boundaries with his ex-wife?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you are in a tricky spot but it is important to understand that when it comes to their child, they have the right to make decisions and ignore everyone else's, even yours. You should keep your relationship and their co-parenting situation separate. Having said that, if you think your BF's ex is overstepping, communicate that to your partner, while letting him know that it bothers you and might even create friction in your relationship. An open and honest discussion is the only way around it. If expressing your discomfort is causing tension or considered ‘controlling,’ then you need to rethink the relationship.

I am sure your partner is truly trying to balance things, but since he is dating you, he should be aware of the areas where that balance is lacking. Communication is the only way.

Hope this helps.

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1

Answered on Dec 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2024

I’m a 32-year-old professional. for me, work has always been a priority. Dating often takes a backseat. My friends have always suggested that I need to balance better, but I’m unsure how to make time for dating without compromising my career. Is 32 a good age to find love? I am not sure if I am ready for marriage yet? Where can I start? What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Times have changed. 30s are the new 20s. It's the perfect age to find love. You are settled career-wise, you know what you want, and you are more emotionally mature to handle tough decisions. Since you are a busy professional, I would suggest online dating. You take 30 mins a day to scroll through some profiles, find someone who seems compatible, and chat from any corner of the world. I recommend researching a bit online to find the app that would be perfect for you- for instance, some apps are more suitable for people looking for serious commitment and some are better for casual interactions. Find the one that suits your needs. Then upload a recent picture, and write an appealing bio- use the 70-30 method, where 70% of your bio should describe you and the remaining 30% should be about the type of partner and relationship you are looking for. This way, you will attract people who meet your expectations.

And please do not worry about age and getting married. It's not about the right time; it's about the right person.

Hope this helps.

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Answered on Dec 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 15, 2024Hindi

Arranged marriage: Pre-nup dilemma - Advice needed

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I cannot make the decision for you, but I can tell you that his points are not invalid. They have been decent and what they are asking for is very basic. Please remember that this is just my opinion; you do not have to feel the same way. And there is nothing inauspicious about signing a prenup. Think of it like health insurance- when you get that, do you indirectly wish for health issues? No. It's just a precaution.

While the choice of signing any agreement is yours, he has every right to rethink the relationship in case you refuse to do so. It does not make him a bad person. He is merely looking out for himself and his family. Please take ample time to make a decision; if you are not comfortable with it, or you think signing the contract and going ahead with the wedding might cause friction between you two, please reconsider the relationship. But I want to remind you again, he is not in the wrong for taking precautions. It does not mean he thinks you are in it for the money; it just keeps the money away from the equation.

Hope this helps.

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1

Answered on Dec 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 30, 2024Hindi

My online boyfriend says he loves me but can't forget ex – Should I cut off all ties?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, have you met this person in real life? A lot of true love stories start online, but it is very important to meet face-to-face before making any commitments. Secondly, not being able to forget his ex can either be the truth or a ploy to end this relationship with you. Either way, it seems like a zone of conflict and I would like to remind you that you deserve better. I know you love him but don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and only you? Would you really like to be with someone who treats you like an option and draws comparisons with the ex? I suggest you rethink the relationship.

Best Wishes.

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Answered on Dec 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 30, 2024

Hey...i am 25F and i am dating a guy 3 year younger than me we met online and he is all that i want on paper and he loves me so much go lengths for me i can feel his love but i don't feel the same for him i do care about him but not getting those butterflies for him i something thinks he is immature still and i don't wanna hurt him what to do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Sometimes, things look better on paper than in reality. You might have had a list and he checks almost all the boxes but that does not mean there is chemistry between the two of you. I understand your dilemma but I would strongly suggest letting him go if you don't love him the way he does. I am sure you would agree that he deserves better. You do not have to be brutally honest about it. You can just be kind and let him know that things are not working out the way you thought they would and it is completely a "you issue" and not on him at all. Do not gaslight him into breaking up or try any other juvenile techniques. This is the best way to part ways.

Best Wishes.

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Answered on Dec 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2024Hindi

30-Year-Old Woman Feeling Rejected in Arranged Marriages Due to Past Relationships

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your frustration. You made some very valid points. You are absolutely right- no one has any business asking you about your virginity. And you are also correct that it does not define you at all. But the truth is, to some people, it matters more than it should. They are not entirely at fault alone; it is the whole society. Nevertheless, you are right. While it is your decision whether you want to lie or be honest, I would suggest telling the truth. Not for their sake; for yours. You should not have to live your married life always thinking "Would my past have mattered to him?" or wondering if things would have been different if you told him the truth. Moreover, being honest will set you free; maybe it comes with rejections, but at least you do not ever have to bear the weight of lies or feel guilty about deceiving someone. And most importantly, you won’t have to settle for someone who cares so much about such superficial things. Happy marriages cannot start with a lie.

We can't control what's important to whom, but we can respect them, even if we disagree. If you are not comfortable disclosing your body count or past, simply answer their question with yours- "Does that matter to you a lot?" If they say yes, you can reject him because your values don't align.

Hope this helps.

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1

Answered on Dec 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2024Hindi

Why hasn't this US-based guy called me on video call after his dad promised?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, there is no hard and fast rule that says that men have to make the first move. If you like someone, you can easily give him a call or drop a text. If a man finds that desperate, you should not settle for someone like that.

Next, judging by the series of events, I would say there is a good chance of either of two things happening- first, he might actually be very busy. But I don't think people are ever so busy that they can't take five minutes of their time to make a call. But then again, you are still strangers and hence, you are not his priority currently. Second, they might be breadcrumbing you. Just giving you enough hope to keep you hooked while they search for more potential matches. The most concerning thing is that the entire family can't keep their word or have the decency to inform about the change of plans.

Your father is not wrong; right now if you contact him after he has repeatedly failed to contact you, it will not look good, and worse, you will not feel good about it. My question is, do you really want a man like this? I know you have been trying for a while and not getting good results can be frustrating, but that does not mean you have to settle for this. I truly believe you deserve better. You can wait some more and see where it goes, but I strongly suggest not pursuing things from your end anymore. Let them do so if they are truly interested. Suppose they don't, understand that you have dodged a bullet.

Best Wishes.

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Answered on Dec 13, 2024

Question by shruti - Dec 12, 2024Hindi

Interfaith Relationship: Can I Marry My Boyfriend?

Ans: Dear Shruti,
There isn't much you can do here other than be by your boyfriend's side while he tries to convince his parents. I am sure he has tried everything, but it can't hurt to try some more. He can highlight all the good things about you and mention that he isn't trying to hurt them by marrying you, rather he thinks you will fit perfectly into his family. Ask him to mention how his life has changed for the better since he met you, and how you make him happy. I am hoping that these might change their minds, or at least push them to meet you and your family once.

Best Wishes.

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Answered on Dec 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 12, 2024Hindi

How to Mend a Broken Relationship after a Past Relationship Reappears?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry to see you so conflicted. I am not completely certain what went down between you two but in general, a good and honest conversation can help in such situations. Since you mentioned hurting him by not understanding his needs, I recommend you to focus more on communication. Ask him about his love language- what would make him happy, what he expects from you, what you could expect from him, and more. This way, there will be clarity. I am sure you did nothing to hurt him intentionally. Please be strong; this is just a fleeting issue.

Best Wishes.

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Answered on Dec 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2024Hindi

Ex-Girlfriend Drama: Should I Cut Ties with My Online Boyfriend?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, have you met this person in real life? A lot of true love stories start online, but it is very important to meet face-to-face before making any commitments. Secondly, not being able to forget his ex can either be the truth or a ploy to end this relationship with you. Either way, it seems like a zone of conflict and I would like to remind you that you deserve better. I know you love him but don't you think you deserve someone who loves you and only you? Would you really like to be with someone who treats you like an option and draws comparisons with the ex? I suggest you rethink the relationship.

Best Wishes.

(more)

Answered on Dec 11, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 11, 2024Hindi

How Do I Move On After a College Breakup and Regain Confidence?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it can be difficult to move on from a relationship you put effort into building. But this will pass. You have to let time do its thing. For now, allow yourself to feel the pain. If you bottle it up, it will be harder to move on. Once you feel all the emotions that you are experiencing right now, slowly you'll notice that those sad emotions are passing. Grab onto that. Focus on your studies, hangout with your friends, and soon you will feel a lot better.

Hope this helps.

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Answered on Dec 09, 2024

Question by Peter - Dec 09, 2024Hindi

Long Distance Marriage Difficulty: Time Zones, Communication & Moving?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am very sorry to hear you are in such a tough spot. While prioritizing your partner's needs is important, it doesn't mean you or her cannot have individual needs or lose your individuality. I just wanted to set this straight before getting into the real issue. Having said that, I do not think what she is doing is fair to you. There is no set amount of time a couple should spend with each other to build a strong relationship; each couple has a different style of expressing love. But in your relationship, since you have repeatedly mentioned needing more time together, it is truly unfair that you didn't get that or the emotional connection you craved. With everything that happened, and your partner being so indifferent, the decision to separate seems like the right one. If the relationship has to be saved, it has to be both your decision and both of you need to put effort into saving it. But after reading your entire question, I am not sure if your partner will be willing to put in the same effort as you. The most you can do here is have one last open talk with her; let her know that you are willing to give this a second chance only if both of you can meet each other halfway. But if she still seems unconcerned about it, I would suggest you think really hard before getting into this again. You deserve someone who can love you the way you love them. Divorce is not easy but it is better than being stuck in an unhappy marriage.

Hope this helps.

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1

Answered on Dec 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 06, 2024Hindi

Constant Arguments with Girlfriend: A Sign of Deeper Issues?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Every long-term relationship goes through this phase. Don't overthink this. When you find yourselves getting into a fight, take a pause and give each other some space. For instance, if you see that a phone conversation is slowly building up to a conflict, hang up for 15 to 30 minutes. Take some time to think- sometimes that is enough for us to realize that our partner is not really being unreasonable or their point isn't exactly wrong. It's easy for people to be defensive at the moment. This small pause can help calm things down and revisit the conversation with a more problem-solving mindset.

Hope this helps.

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Answered on Dec 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024

I had sex with two people at the same time when i was drunk many years ago. Now i have a boyfriend and told him about this. He accepts this. But i can't get over it and i regret it so much. I think i dont deserve him and happiness in my life. What should i do, I can't stop thinking about this.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that you don't feel good about the decision but that one incident does not define who you are. You were intoxicated and that can alter your senses. Learn to forgive yourself and move past it. It can take some time, but remember, it does not make you a bad person.

Hope this helps.

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Answered on Dec 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 05, 2024

My Girlfriend says that I am very "Clingy". This is my First Relationship & I Love her with all my Heart. I shower a lot of Affection on her, all the time. But, I am also somewhat Insecure, perhaps, due to Childhood Trauma from Emotionally Unavailable & Abusive Parents. Sometimes, even I feel that I am being Overly Attached & Emotionally Dependent upon her. Initially, she used to like the way, I Loved her, intensely, but of late, she seems to be getting Suffocated & gradually distancing herself from me. Please guide me, how to work on & improve myself ? At any cost, I don't want to lose her & would like to maintain a Healthy Relationship with her. Please guide me on how to proceed further.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First of all, it is great that you took her feedback so positively and are trying to make constructive changes. It is not easy to admit flaws and work on them. Now, I would suggest starting off by putting your attention a little more on yourself than your partner. Focus on being independent; just because two people are dating does not mean they have to be constantly co-dependent. Pursue new hobbies, connect with friends, explore new things alone and some time together, and in general, give more time to personal growth.

Everyone has different love languages and life events can shape the way we give and receive love. For you, being too attentive and attached can be a byproduct of the childhood trauma you mentioned. Similarly, your partner's way of receiving love can be different. The best way to understand each other's love language is to communicate clearly. Listen to her without getting defensive. I would hope she can do the same for you. I am sure a few open conversations can bring you both to that sweet spot where you both are comfortable with each other's style of showing love.

I would also suggest therapy to address the insecurity and unresolved issues from your past. It can do wonders for your emotional health. Also, remember that a healthy relationship needs some room to grow. Allow yours the space.

Best Wishes.

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1

Answered on Dec 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 04, 2024Hindi

My childhood friend lives next door, and now I have feelings for her. How do I tell her and make her my girlfriend, even though she's two years older?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The best approach in this matter is to express your feelings directly, instead of beating around the bush. That way, you can also understand whether she has the same feelings for you.
And as for the two-year difference, if it does not matter to you and her, it shouldn't be a concern.

Best Wishes.

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