Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 16, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2025
Relationship

Hi I am a divorced women and very recently a married handsome colleague approached me and we started flirting soon we got little intimate , now I have developed feelings for him where as he is a Casanova and open about the fact that he has multiple physical incidents outside his marriage, he love is wife and do it for fun with no emotional baggage or connect. I am not able to detach myself from him now, his behaviour towards me keeps on changing and very recently he has started flirting with other girls in front of me and ignoring me . I feel emotionally drained and weak , I cry and feel hurt, what should I do

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it must be tough to see someone you like, flirting with another person in front of you. But, as you said, your colleague often does this and he has been upfront about this. Now, you need to understand that your feelings are valid even if you knew about his nature. But having said that, I don’t think there’s much you can do about him. The best thing is to slowly distance yourself from him and end his chapter here. The more you get involved and look for answers the more you will get hurt. Try spending more time with friends and people who truly appreciate you.
Best wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am married working women .supportive hubby & my lovely children complete my family . I have been feeling intense infatuation with one of my married collegue.he used to help me a lot in office related issues. He used to complement me a lot for very normal things in front of others, not for looks but my working & way oc handling things. I was uneasy about that initially but started enjoying the attention later. But I dont know when I started liking him & Always wanted to be around ...He is younger to me and I am fully aware that nothing can happen between us. Than one day He bypassed me and for his own fault at work , he manipulated things and asked a favor for me from our team leader showing he is helping me...While in same situation when he was wrong I once sorted things on my own and did not make conplaint to team leader. Now i am feeling cheated and while working I have to see him everyday. What to do? How to remain and look normal. I feel weak in front of him and I dont want to keep any relation with him. But I still feel good & comfortable when he is around. its so weird.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult situation. It's not uncommon for people who have been married for a long time to feel this way. It mostly happens because the marriage is now part of your routine while your colleague seems like a breath of fresh air. But as you yourself mentioned, it is nothing but mere infatuation.

Do not beat yourself up for it. It will pass as all infatuations do. I suggest establishing some boundaries so that, even unintentionally, you do not cross them. Maintain a professional demeanor. But most importantly, take some time to reflect on what is missing from your marriage that led you to develop feelings for someone else. A loving and healthy marriage would keep you emotionally fulfilled enough to never look for happiness outside of it. Lastly, remind yourself why you fell in love with your husband and remember that love and commitment are not based on a mere choice; it is a conscious decision you make every day.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |676 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I met a guy who was my realtor trying to sell me a property.the property was shortly purchased. Later on he took my personal number and started texting me in that. It was just a hi hello daily kind of thing. Soon it turned into 1hr calls at his office time and the calls happened every three days. He asked me to on a vacation with him and i agreed since both of us had a compatible thinking. Our conversations were casually flirty whenever it happened. Everytime i went to seey property he used to be there since it was his office too and made sure i was well taken care of. From few days i had started reciprocating his care for me. Recenty during a conversation i asked him to come to my city as our relationship status was not defined and i thought he wanted to spend some time with me as the vacation we were planning was postponed after a month. Yesterday during a conversation he told me he is married and i was shocked since he never talked about it and knew everything about me at this point from my family members. Now he says i did not want to hurt me and we are friends, we were taking the vacation as friends. But truth is i am hurt since i had just started reciprocating his flirtiness. I dont know what to do further as i know he has hurt me and he should not have flirted with me and should have told me he was married from beginning. He just said it never came in any conversations. I just confronted him as to why he did want to go on vacation with me when he has a wife. He just said he meant as friends and his marriage is complicated. Should i continue talking to him or end the so called friendship, because at one point i was sure he liked me, he praised me, called me beautiful, used yo stare at me when i was not looking.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how confused and hurt you must be feeling. It was definitely wrong of him to lead you on, and never mention that he is already married. We don’t know the dynamics of his marriage, whether it is open or he is hiding all these from his. But I do get the sense that you do not want to be involved with a married person. So, going on this trip, even if he says it’s “as friends” can complicate things. I would suggest you think twice before continuing this “so called friendship” and also before going ahead with the trip plan. He might not care, but it can hurt you since your feelings are genuine.
Hope this helps.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 22, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Anu, I am 49 years old married with kids ( 19 and 14) ..have good relations with wife throughout 21 years of marri d life. I was always a bi and with age that part has taken prominance..I have been meeting guys whenever I travel. Thisbwas till manageable but I have fallen in love ( which never happened even when I was unmarried ) with a colleague aged 32 ..he is aware about my orientation. He flirts with me verbally..when we meet or go for vacation we drink, smoke and even share cuddles , pecks on cheek, neck but nothing like a proper physical relationship. He is getting married now..while he says he will always be my friend and will be there for me whenever I need him..I want to distract myself away from him, not sure how. I tried not speaking to him but then he msgs like if I am angry or upset with him...and then I again fell for him..needless to say my intimacy with wife has taken a toll since I have fallen for him. I am not able to handle ..please suggest
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
1. You say that you have always been a bi which means that you are repeatedly going to find yourself in situations where you will be attracted to other men as well like what's happening right now to you
2. Your wife does not know which means that hiding and living a dual life is going to make it highly stressful on you
3. The current guy wants to get married which could mean that he was just experimenting and exploring with you and that after his marriage he may not want to risk any of this
4. The guy wants to stay in touch with you BUT because of 1, 2 and 3 above, you will never be able to have anything stable with him
5. Your intimacy with your wife is bound to get impacted with you dividing your mind time between two people

So, either you 'come out' to your wife and well, that may not end well but you will need to manage the situation carefully OR you continue to choose to live the life that you have been before you knew...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1746 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10874 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 08, 2025Hindi
Money
Hi i am 40M. would request your help to understand what should be the corpus required for retirement as i want to get retired in next 3-5yrs. currently my take home is 2.3L monthly & my wife also works but leaving the job in next 2-3 months. we have a daughter 10yrs, currently i stay on rent and total monthly expense is 1.1L month. once i will retire we will shift in our own parental flat, where hopefully there will be no rent. current Investments 1. 50L in REC bonds getting matured in 2029 2. 42L in stocks 3. 17L in MF 4. 16L FD 5. 15L in PPF 6. 1.3L SIP monthly i do My Wife Investments 1. 30L corpus 2. flat with current value 40L and we get rental of 10K monthly. Please guide what should be the retirement corpus required combined to retire, assuming i need 75L for my daughter post grad and marriage and we would be requiring 75K monthly for our expenses after retiring
Ans: You have explained your income, goals, current assets, and future plans with great clarity. Your early planning spirit is strong. This gives a very good base. You can reach a peaceful retirement with smart steps in the next few years.

» Your Current Position

You are 40 years old. You plan to retire in 3 to 5 years. You earn Rs 2.3 lakh per month. Your wife also works but will stop working soon. You have one daughter aged 10. Your current monthly cost is around Rs 1.1 lakh. This cost will reduce after retirement because you will shift to your parental flat.

Your investment base is already good. You have saved in bonds, stocks, mutual funds, PPF, FD, and SIP. Your wife also has her own savings and rental income from a flat. All these create a good starting point.

This early base helps you plan stronger. It also gives room for more shaping. You are on the right road.

» Your Family Goals

You need Rs 75 lakh for your daughter’s higher education and marriage.

You want Rs 75,000 per month for family living after retirement.

You want to retire in 3 to 5 years.

You will shift to your parental flat after retirement.

You will have rental income of Rs 10,000 from your wife’s flat.

These goals are clear. They give direction. They allow a strong plan.

» Your Present Investments

Your investments include:

Rs 50 lakh in REC bonds maturing in 2029.

Rs 42 lakh in stocks.

Rs 17 lakh in mutual funds.

Rs 16 lakh in fixed deposits.

Rs 15 lakh in PPF.

Rs 1.3 lakh as monthly SIP.

Your wife holds:

Rs 30 lakh corpus.

A flat worth Rs 40 lakh with rent of Rs 10,000 each month.

Your combined net worth is healthy. This gives good power to build your retirement fund in the coming years.

» Understanding Your Expense Need After Retirement

You expect Rs 75,000 per month after retirement. This includes all basic needs. You will not have rent. That reduces cost. This assumption looks fair today.

Your cost will rise with inflation. So you must plan for rising needs. A strong retirement corpus must support rising cost for 40 to 45 years because you are retiring early.

An early retirement needs a large buffer. So you need safety along with growth. Your plan must include growth assets and safety assets.

» How Much Monthly Income You Will Need Later

Rs 75,000 per month is Rs 9 lakh per year. In future years, this cost can rise. If we assume steady rise, your future cost will be much higher.

So the retirement corpus must be designed to:

Give monthly income.

Beat inflation.

Support you for 40 to 45 years.

Protect your family even in market down cycles.

Allow flexibility if your needs change.

A strong retirement fund must support both safety and long-term growth.

» How Much Corpus You Should Target

A safe target is a large and flexible corpus that can support long years without running out of money. For early retirement, the usual thumb rule suggests a very high number. This is because you need income for many decades.

You need a corpus big enough to produce rising income. You also need a cushion for unexpected health costs, lifestyle shocks, and inflation changes.

Your target retirement corpus should be in a strong range. For your needs of Rs 75,000 per month and for goals like daughter’s education and marriage, you should aim for a combined retirement readiness corpus in the higher bracket.

A safe range for your family would be a very large number crossing multiple crores. This large range gives you:

Income safety.

Inflation protection.

Peace during market cycles.

Comfort in long life.

Room for daughter’s future.

Strong backup for health.

You are already on the way due to your existing assets. You will reach close to this range with systematic building over the next 3 to 5 years.

» Why You Need This Larger Corpus

You will retire early. That means more years of living from your corpus. Your corpus must not fall early. It must grow even after retirement. It must give monthly income and long-term family protection.

This is only possible when the corpus is strong and well-structured. A weak corpus creates stress. A strong corpus creates freedom.

Also, your daughter’s future cost must be kept aside. This must be parked in a separate fund. This must not touch your retirement money.

A strong corpus makes these two worlds separate and safe.

» Your Existing Assets and Their Strength

You already have good diversification:

Bonds give safety.

Stocks give growth.

Mutual funds give managed growth.

FD gives stability.

PPF gives tax-free long-term savings.

This blend is already a good start. But you need to make the blend more structured for early retirement.

Your Rs 1.3 lakh monthly SIP is also strong. It builds your future fast. You should continue.

Your wife’s rental income is small but steady. This adds strength.

Your combined financial base can reach your retirement target if you refine your allocation now.

» Your Daughter’s Future Fund Need

You need Rs 75 lakh for your daughter’s education and marriage. You should keep this goal separate from your retirement goal.

Your current SIP and future allocations should create a dedicated fund for this goal. A long-term fund can grow well when managed actively.

Do not mix this fund with your retirement needs. Mixing leads to shortage in old age. Always keep this corpus ring-fenced.

» A Strong Asset Mix For Your Retirement Path

A balanced mix is needed. You need growth assets to beat inflation. You also need stable assets for income.

You must avoid index funds because they do not give flexibility. Index funds follow a fixed index. They cannot make active changes in different markets. They cannot move to better stocks when markets change. They force you to stay in weak sectors for long. They also do not help you in down cycles because they cannot protect you by shifting to safer options. This can hurt retirement planning.

Actively managed funds are better because:

They give active asset selection.

They give scope for better returns.

They give flexibility to change sectors.

They give downside management.

They give access to a skilled fund manager.

They support long-term planning more safely.

Direct plans also carry risk. Direct plans do not give guidance. They do not give behavioural support. They do not give market timing help. They do not give portfolio shaping. They leave all the judgement to you. One mistake can cost years of wealth.

Regular plans with guidance from a Certified Financial Planner help you shape decisions. They help you remain disciplined. They help you avoid panic. They help you decide allocation changes at the right time. This saves wealth in long-term.

» How Your Investment Journey Should Grow in the Next 3–5 Years

Continue your SIP.

Increase SIP when your income rises.

Shift part of your stock holding into planned long-term mutual funds to reduce concentration risk.

Build a defined daughter’s education fund.

Keep a part of your REC bond maturity amount for long-term.

Avoid locking too much into fixed deposits for long periods.

Build a safety fund for one year of expenses.

This will create a full structure.

» Your Rental Income Role

Your rental income of Rs 10,000 per month is small but steady. Over time it will rise. This income will support your monthly cash flow after retirement.

You can use this for utilities or health insurance premiums. This gives a cushion.

» Your Emergency Buffer

You should keep at least one year of essential cost in a safe place. This can be in a liquid account or short-term fund. This protects you in shocks.

Since you plan early retirement, a strong buffer is important. It gives peace even in low months.

» A Structured Retirement Approach

A complete retirement plan for you should include:

A clear monthly income plan after retirement.

A corpus that can grow and protect.

A rising income system that matches inflation.

A separate daughter’s future fund.

A health cover plan for your family.

A tax-efficient withdrawal plan.

A market cycle plan to protect you in tough times.

This holistic approach keeps your family strong for decades.

» What You Should Build by Retirement Year

Your aim should be to reach a strong multi-crore range in investments before retirement. You already hold a large amount. You will add more in the next 3 to 5 years through SIP, stock growth, bond maturity, and disciplined saving.

Once you reach your target range, you can start the shifting process:

Move a part to stable assets.

Keep a part in long-term growth assets.

Create a monthly income strategy.

Keep a reserve bucket.

Keep a child future bucket.

Keep a long-term growth bucket.

This structure protects you in all market conditions.

» Final Insights

Your financial journey is already strong. You have a good income. You have saved well. You have multiple asset types. You have a clear timeline. And you have clear goals. This foundation is solid.

In the next 3 to 5 years, your focus should be on growing your combined corpus to a strong multi-crore range, keeping a separate fund for your daughter, reducing risk in unplanned assets, and building a stable long-term structure.

With the present path and a disciplined structure, you can retire peacefully and support your family with confidence for many decades.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Samraat

Samraat Jadhav  |2499 Answers  |Ask -

Stock Market Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |10874 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 08, 2025

Money
Hello my name is saket, I monthly salary is 43k and my saving is zero. My Rent is 15 k and 10 k i send to my parents. How can i save money and investments.
Ans: 1. Your Current Monthly Numbers

Salary: Rs 43,000

Rent: Rs 15,000

Support to parents: Rs 10,000

Left with: Rs 18,000 for food, travel, bills, and savings

You have very little room, but saving is still possible if done smartly.

2. First Step: Build a Small Emergency Buffer

You must build Rs 10,000 to Rs 20,000 emergency money.
This protects you from taking loans for small issues.

How to build it:

Save Rs 3,000 to Rs 5,000 every month in a simple bank savings account

Do this for the next few months

Don’t touch it unless truly needed

3. Create a Mini Budget (Very Simple One)

Try this split from the remaining Rs 18,000:

Daily living (food + transport): Rs 10,000 – 11,000

Personal expenses (phone, internet, basics): Rs 3,000 – 4,000

Savings + investments: Rs 3,000 – 5,000

If this feels difficult, reduce food/transport costs by small adjustments.

4. Where to Invest Once You Have Emergency Money

(For minors: This is general education. For actual investing, get guidance from a trusted adult or family member.)

After you build emergency money, start small monthly investing.

You can begin with:

Rs 1,000 to Rs 2,000 SIP in a simple, diversified equity fund

Increase the SIP whenever salary increases or expenses reduce

Avoid complicated products.
Keep it simple.
Focus on consistency.

5. Easy Practical Ways to Increase Saving

These small moves help a lot:

Avoid food delivery

Use public transport as much as possible

Reduce subscriptions you don’t use

Fix a daily expense limit

Keep a separate bank account only for savings

Even Rs 200 saved daily = Rs 6,000 monthly.

6. Increase Income Slowly

Try small income boosters:

Weekend tutoring

Freelancing

Part-time projects

Selling old gadgets

Learning new skills for future salary growth

Even Rs 3,000 extra income changes your savings life.

7. Build the Habit First

The amount doesn’t matter in the beginning.
The habit matters more.

Even saving Rs 500 every month is better than zero.
Once salary grows, you will already know how to save.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x