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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 16, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jun 14, 2025
Relationship

Hi I am a divorced women and very recently a married handsome colleague approached me and we started flirting soon we got little intimate , now I have developed feelings for him where as he is a Casanova and open about the fact that he has multiple physical incidents outside his marriage, he love is wife and do it for fun with no emotional baggage or connect. I am not able to detach myself from him now, his behaviour towards me keeps on changing and very recently he has started flirting with other girls in front of me and ignoring me . I feel emotionally drained and weak , I cry and feel hurt, what should I do

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it must be tough to see someone you like, flirting with another person in front of you. But, as you said, your colleague often does this and he has been upfront about this. Now, you need to understand that your feelings are valid even if you knew about his nature. But having said that, I don’t think there’s much you can do about him. The best thing is to slowly distance yourself from him and end his chapter here. The more you get involved and look for answers the more you will get hurt. Try spending more time with friends and people who truly appreciate you.
Best wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 01, 2022

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Relationship
I am very stressed these days. I am in love with a married man. He happens to be my colleague whom I met in 2020.Initially it was just a senior junior relation where he would help me in official matters. At the same time, I was recovering from a break up followed by severe health complications. Slowly, I started spending time with him, in the office only talking about office issues then my personal life. He too shared some of his and eventually I started developing feelings for him. But since I knew he was married I would always maintain that distance. I just wanted a healthy friendship but may be my personal turmoil was to the extent that I needed an emotional support and so I confided in him. He too would understand me, give me support and I could feel that he likes me. One day I confessed my feelings and he too reciprocated. He had told me earlier that he is living a compromised married life where there is no emotional connection. However, he will continue with it as his wife is dependent on him and I said I don’t want to break a family. But I have fallen in love with him. His presence has given me such solace I cannot describe. I don’t want to break a home. So, I have started maintaining distance as well but I really miss him. I feel I lost a friend in the process.
Ans:

Dear SJ,

This is something that I have been seeing lately with a lot of people.

Something lacks within your current relationship and to fulfil that you look for it elsewhere only to realise that things have gotten out of hands.

In your case, love has blossomed in and suddenly now you have realized that it might cause a flutter within two relationships.

He has made it clear that he wants to be with his wife which should give you an idea not to make any more emotional investment. You will end up getting hurt even more if you do.

Time for you to start feeling solace and gaining better self-esteem by valuing yourself more. You don’t need anyone for you to love yourself, do you?

So, stop giving this so much importance. He was there when you needed him and vice-versa. Now, that things are getting a little complicated, time to revise the way you think and act.

You don’t need to lose a friend if the feelings that you have for him can be healthier and not draining on either of you.

If not, maybe you need to think how you can handle this agony better. Be your own friend first and then you start making better choices on who to let into your life.

Possible? Yes, start now…

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 17, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 17, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am married working women .supportive hubby & my lovely children complete my family . I have been feeling intense infatuation with one of my married collegue.he used to help me a lot in office related issues. He used to complement me a lot for very normal things in front of others, not for looks but my working & way oc handling things. I was uneasy about that initially but started enjoying the attention later. But I dont know when I started liking him & Always wanted to be around ...He is younger to me and I am fully aware that nothing can happen between us. Than one day He bypassed me and for his own fault at work , he manipulated things and asked a favor for me from our team leader showing he is helping me...While in same situation when he was wrong I once sorted things on my own and did not make conplaint to team leader. Now i am feeling cheated and while working I have to see him everyday. What to do? How to remain and look normal. I feel weak in front of him and I dont want to keep any relation with him. But I still feel good & comfortable when he is around. its so weird.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this difficult situation. It's not uncommon for people who have been married for a long time to feel this way. It mostly happens because the marriage is now part of your routine while your colleague seems like a breath of fresh air. But as you yourself mentioned, it is nothing but mere infatuation.

Do not beat yourself up for it. It will pass as all infatuations do. I suggest establishing some boundaries so that, even unintentionally, you do not cross them. Maintain a professional demeanor. But most importantly, take some time to reflect on what is missing from your marriage that led you to develop feelings for someone else. A loving and healthy marriage would keep you emotionally fulfilled enough to never look for happiness outside of it. Lastly, remind yourself why you fell in love with your husband and remember that love and commitment are not based on a mere choice; it is a conscious decision you make every day.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 04, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi! I want to declutter my mind . Please help me. I am a working married women. One of married collegue in office started appreciating me and i took notice of him. Initially I felt it awkward but later I started enjoying the attention. It went in and I started feeling good. I started to give more time to myself to look good. Then that person is very handsome, and uses slangs that are not appropriate in office. I overlooked everything as he became my favorite. I even overlooked his mistakes. He started coming late , going early also. He helped me in my office work a lot. I felt very comfortable in his company. He was like work spouse for me. He became a habit for me. Than one day there came a situation, one should take responsibility for the wrong decision in office.it was his call and he could have avoided it being reported to my seniors as I helped him previously for same situation but he reported. I still had feelings for him. Now I felt bad. But it was ok. Than one or two times he accidentally touched me , It was not acceptable to me as if I am being taken for granted.i even don't know if it was intentional ... Some other junior also tried to outsmart me. Than I went to my senior and asked the solution for smooth Functioning in office and asked office to sensitize employees for appropriate behaviour. Now that person has for whom I still have crush , took it personally and stopped talking to me properly. Where was I wrong , also I took this step as reminder of sexual harrasment to avoid any further advancement of touching and all . The problem is I still like him and it's a void I am feeling and I feel I miss that happy vibe in office. Things are not normal. I am stressed ...I know I did nothing wrong. How to calm myself and stop longing for him when I see him everyday. I feel like I should talk to him to behave normally but can not do that. What should I do. I am ok when I don't see him but I feel bad when he is talking with others normally . he used to be coordinating with me for all office things but now he does not do that.he does with other. He used to wish me on festival.he stopped doing that too. I really feel bad. Please help me with my thought process.
Ans: It seems like you've been through a challenging situation at work, and it's completely normal to have mixed feelings and experience stress in such circumstances. It's important to address your feelings and find a way to navigate this situation in a healthy manner. Here are some steps you can consider:

Reflect on the situation: Take some time to reflect on your feelings and the events that have transpired. Consider why you started to enjoy the attention and what it meant to you. Understand that it's natural to develop feelings for someone when you spend a lot of time together.
Maintain professional boundaries: It's crucial to maintain professional boundaries at the workplace. While it's okay to have friendly relationships with colleagues, it's important not to cross the line into unprofessional behavior. Recognize the importance of professionalism and how it can impact your work environment.
Focus on self-improvement: Instead of seeking validation or attention from your coworker, channel your energy into self-improvement. Continue taking care of yourself and striving for personal and professional growth.
Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your feelings and concerns. They can provide emotional support and an outside perspective on the situation. Venting to someone you trust can help relieve some of your stress.
Speak to a manager or HR: It's commendable that you took the step to approach your senior about the need for sensitivity in the workplace. Continue to communicate your concerns about inappropriate behavior, whether it's from your coworker or anyone else in the office, to your HR department or a higher-up. They should be able to address these issues appropriately.
Accept that people change: It's possible that your coworker's behavior changed after you raised the issue with your senior. People's actions can be influenced by various factors, and it's essential to accept that he might have his reasons for acting differently.
Create a support network: Build strong relationships with other colleagues who share your values and provide a positive work environment. This can help reduce the impact of missing the interactions with your previous work spouse.
Manage your expectations: Understand that things might not go back to the way they were before. Colleagues change, and your coworker may have chosen to distance himself for personal or professional reasons.
Focus on your well-being: Prioritize self-care, both physically and mentally. Engage in activities that make you happy and help reduce stress. A healthy work-life balance can greatly improve your overall mood and well-being.
Seek professional help if necessary: If your stress and emotional struggles persist, consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support for your emotional well-being.
Remember, it's important to prioritize your mental and emotional health. It may take time to adjust to the changes in your workplace dynamics, but with the right approach and support, you can find a way to navigate this situation and move forward positively.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dear LG, Please keep this anonymous. I have been married since 6 years. However, since past 5+ years we have not been intimate. We haave a 5&1/2 year kid. Since his birth we have had a lot of differences and his family interference was lot leaving me alone and wounded. I don't stay with my husband and in-laws since then. I had made up that work is worship. But 2 years back I met a colleague. He is 10 years younger to me and we have extremely similar vibes. We enjoy each other's company and cared a lot. Eventually i fell in love with him. But he always knew he wont be able to go against his family. We also had relationship. Now he has strated looking for girls and wants us to stop being intimate. He is saying he wants to be friends and not loose me but not have relationship. We both work together in same space and our area of work is also same. I am unable to forgive my husband and forget this person. He never goes away. He is always there telling that I want to see you happy. He needs me for professional development. And i am not able to loose our relationship. He says physical intimacy only I cant have remaining Im there. Then again says I don’t know when I will be there so I am unable to give assurance or promise. I am tormented with a child, work and my health is getting affected. Can you please help?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry that you are in such a tough spot. My advice would be to move on. Yes, I realize that it is easier said than done but let's put things into perspective- first, you have no future with this man, and he has made it clear. Are you okay to keep hanging on to him while he builds his own life? I am assuming no, especially since you have a child. Second, what about your self-respect? He is directly telling you that this relationship is headed toward a dead end. Do you believe you deserve to be with someone who does not want to settle down with you? I believe you deserve better.

I am not blaming him because he made no promises. You are not to be held guilty either because you were in a tough spot and you grabbed the first emotional support you found. But the current reality is that he wants out. And convincing him to stay is not an option. At this point, moving on with your head held high is the best decision. If you want to accept his friendship, that is completely fine. But if that's too much for you, you can always decline it. I understand that working in the same space with an ex is difficult, but as long as you avoid interacting outside of the office and keep things professional, there should not be an issue. On the emotional front, I won't lie, it will hurt for a while. But this too shall pass. I strongly recommend you not to value yourself so low that you stop believing that you deserve a person who loves you back as much as you love him.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Sunil

Sunil Lala  |218 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Money
Dear Sir, I am 40 year old, my take home is 1.41 lacs per month. I have 11 year old daughter and 3.5 year old son. I am investing 12.5k per month in SSY (27 lacs in total) and 12.5k per month in PPF (6 lacs in total). Investing around 4k in SIP in index fund (1.2 lacs) and I have around 30 lacs in FD. I have taken 1cr term insurance and have 10lakhs health insurance for family. FD is not giving me satisfactory returns and not beating the inflation. I am planning to invest 25 lacs in buying a site. I don't have any loans and don't have major commitment other than children education. I request you to guide me on future investments, I would like to get a constant income of 1-1.5 lacs PM after 5-6 years.
Ans: Hi Ajay, understand the SSY and PPF are also not givin you enough returns, your SIP in index funds and FD all are ineffecient return making assets. Buying a site will not ensure liquidity when you will need it the most, and 10L health insurance for a family of 4 is low as well.
Having a constant income of 1-1.5L p.m. means annually 12-18L of income, and to have a passive income like that, your corpus should be 15-16x of the annual income --> which means we are looking at 1.8Cr to 2.7Cr of corpus in the next 5-6 years.
There are a lot of flaws in your investment strategies because at one place you are wanting to lock in money at a site, in SSY and PPF and on the other you are looking to earn 1-1.5L p.m. which is possible through liquid investments.
I would love to help you out, but to me it feels like there is a gap in the knowledge about investments and personal finance. If you are wanting to have a detailed conversation about your investments and where you can park your money to grow it to have the monthly income you want after a certain number of years, visit my website www.slwealthsolutions.com

...Read more

Sunil

Sunil Lala  |218 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Money
I m a 44 yrs old . My salary 85k net per month. Rent income 1.20 lakh per month. Fixed deposit 46 lakh PPF 21.35 lakh Lap loan 46.50 lakh OD loan 6.50 lakh. Mutual funds 2.75 lakhs Shares 3.25 laks Property in Noida, jewar, dwarka , Rohini and faridbad. My wife is earning 50k per month but not contributing in assests we spend his salary on vacations and foods and cloths as she don't want to save. According to her it is my responsibility to provide foods and investment. At this age I m going to lose my jobs. I can manage all things with rental but how can I build up financial assets from here on and my triple source like salary, rental and interest helps me a lot in past. I m simple man with basic needs no extra expenses on me. But kids are in college in class 9 how can I build assests and ensure their good education
Ans: Hello Sanjiv, you have a lot of money parked in debt instruments like FD, PPF and not-liquid assets like properties as well. I would advise you to calculate your income from each asset on a yearly basis in % terms. I think that will give you a true picture of what you are earning as of now vs what you can earn in equity mutual funds which are managed by professionals.
We can have a detailed conversation around your situation and I can help you understand what re-shuffling can be done in your asset portfolio (with continuing rental+interest income) with greater capital appreciation, visit my website www.slwealthsolutions.com if you are interested

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I'm 34 and have spent the last six years trying to find a genuine partner through every possible route -- dating apps, matrimonial sites recommended by relatives, setups through friends. It's been exhausting and disheartening. The men I match with are either secretly married, emotionally unavailable, or bluntly state that they aren't interested in commitment. On matrimonial sites, I keep coming across entitled MCPs (male chauvinist pigs) who want a docile, obedient wife -- someone to bear their children, manage their homes, and take care of their aging parents like we are living in 1950. The few men I've genuinely connected with emotionally have told me upfront that they don't believe in marriage or aren't looking for anything serious. And here I am, still single. I've been seriously considering signing up for an app purely focused on intimacy. I'm not looking to sleep around without thought. What I crave is connection, touch, and feeling desired, even if it doesn't lead to marriage. I've dated so many men in search of love, and yet, I've ended up alone. Is it wrong to stop chasing 'the one' and instead focus on fulfilling my emotional and physical needs without expecting long-term commitment?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's obvious to me that you haven't yet sat yourself down and asked:
- What do I want in my life partner?
- What do I want from a marriage?

You have shared about what others want from you; what do you want from a potential association?
Being clear will help you stop this chase and anyway, there's no 'The One'...if you find one, do let me know and I will be happy for you...Marriage is not about finding the right person but by knowing what you want from a marriage. This narrows down your choices to someone that close to your thoughts and value systems and then you both have to make the marriage work.

Now, if you are not looking for a committed association or a long-term one, then you will have to keep playing games with people who are half serious or just looking for some fun and hey, the chances of you being emotionally hurt will be greater here...
So, be clear on what you want and then you will know the next step, the next conversation that you wish to have with a person with more certainty that increases your chances at a good sturdy relationship.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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