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Ravi Mittal |677 Answers |Ask -Follow

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2025Hindi

Hi , I am married since past 13 years. I am happy in my marriage. But from pat 1 month my ex came in my life. I tried to ignore him first, avoided him but somehow he entered my life. Now the situation is we talk everyday on call and wen we aren't talking on call than we are chatting with each other. Basically we talk with each other every minute. I really miss him in my life whereas he misses me more than me . He pushes me to meet up but till now I m restricting myself to not to meet him and limit myself on call. Now we both are each other's habit but somehow i feel all this is very wrong bcoz I hav a loving husband. And yes I forgot to mention he will be getting shortly divorced from his wife with whom he had an love marriage. Please help, what should I do ??

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that there’s nostalgia and a certain familiarity at play here, but as you said yourself, this isn’t fair to your husband. I wouldn’t have said this if you even once mentioned that you reconnected as friends. But, it seems mildly romantic from where I am standing. Plus, I am assuming that your husband doesn’t know about this reconnection. It’s truly unfair to him. I suggest either creating a little more distance from your ex, and building boundaries, and most importantly, speak to your husband and let him know that you reconnected. I am sure it feels very nice to get attention from someone who was once important to you, but I assure you that this isn’t worth ruining your happy marriage. New attention always feels good at first, but eventually this too will become routine. Please tread carefully.

Hope this helps.

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Anu Krishna |1746 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 08, 2022

Question by MS - Jun 08, 2022Hindi

Hi Anu, I am a married 32 year old woman, a central govt employee with a 4 year old son. Last year my husband left for some work for 8 to 9 months. He became very busy. He doesn’t give me time at all, very dry, never shows love, goes out with me only after a lot of insistence. He’s always busy with phone and work. But we were happy. I adjusted with everything. But after we left, I started feeling very lonely. I signed up for an extra marital app and started chatting with a man from the same city. After chatting for 6 months, we decided to meet. He is married, and has a 12 year old daughter. I feel happy in his company. He is caring and pampers me. Even after my husband was back we met. We meet once a week after our office hours. We get physically intimate once in two to three months. We do not disturb each other during family time. We talk to each every day for 10 to 15 minutes. Many a times I felt like I was cheating my husband and decided to move on. But I am not able to get over his love and care. I will be transferred to another city in 2 to 3 months. So we decided to have a baby and be in touch always.Pls guide me if am right or wrong.Need your advice. I can't share it with anyone.

Ans:

Dear MS,

You did know the perils of an extra marital app and knew what you were getting into.

You have two ways of looking at your situation.

1. If you choose to continue, you are constantly going to have to juggle between your marriage and this relationship

2. If you choose to be exclusive into your marriage, then you are going to possibly be with a man who is who he is

Now, which side of the fence feels more comfortable to you, is something that you need to assess. Also, external validation is something all of us fall prey to sometime or the other in our lifetime.

Ask yourself:

What is lacking in my marriage that is forcing me to step out and explore?
Have I tried to communicate my needs to my husband?
Are there things that I could have done differently to have a better relationship with my husband?

This might give you a chance to understand where you are and what you can do to give your marriage a fair chance if that is what you wish to do.

Whatever you choose, do remember basing your happiness on an external source will always be short lived and all it gives you is heartache.

Be wise, choose wisely and maybe it’s time to laugh a lot, take a step back, breathe and look at what IS in a different way.

If you still waver, do know that whatever is going on also has an impact on your son. So, steady yourself first, do a reality check and then choose.

Be well and happy!

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